Moving On
by Konflickted
Summary: From School to Summer, it seems like the fates are trying to keep James and Lily apart... she's got a secret that she won't be able to hide much longer, and if James doesn't hurry, she just may not survive...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Not really sure what the title of this should be, so any suggestions would be appreciated. Standard disclaimer: just borrowing the characters for my own warped sense of creativity.

Chapter One

It started with a tinkling glass, the sound of ice hitting the tumbler at ten o'clock in the morning. It was awfully early to be drinking, but James knew his father kept unusual hours, so ten was more like five o'clock in the afternoon for him. James yawned, tired still from his own late hours with Sirius. James passed the door to Sirius' room, knocking once. Sirius drug himself out of the room, the look of sleep still on him.

"Hey," Sirius grunted with his hair wild and unkempt from the night of tossing and turning. He never slept well anymore. None of them did. You just never knew when a Death Eater was likely to burst into your home and start murdering folks. Even Sirius was vulnerable when he slept, though he would never admit to it. He may have been born a Black, but he was a Potter by choice.

"Dad's home early," James said. Sirius nodded and the two trudged down the stairs barefoot. It was already too early in the summer for them to resort to grunts. They usually waited until mid summer to grunt at each other. Sirius and James would resolve to understand each other with those grunts.

"Good morning boys," Mrs. Potter greeted them as they entered the dining room. She was as lovely as ever, even having a seventeen year old son. She had thought she had made a mistake only having the one child to put all of her hopes and dreams into, but she had done the right thing. She couldn't imagine running a house with James, Sirius, and any other children. She liked to be needed, but she equally liked to work on her research.

"Morning Mom," they both said. Mrs. Potter nodded appreciatively. She didn't appreciate the grunting of male communication and had never learned to understand it. Sirius and James took their seats at the table, eying the stack of papers in front of Mr. Potter on the far end of the table.

"How'd it go, Dad?" James asked as he looked at his father. He looked at the slight scruff along his jaw line, a day's growth of beard.

"Ah, well, son," Mr. Potter said grinning as he scratched his chin. "You know I can't very well discuss ministry stuff with you two. You are both barely of age, you know."

"Dad, seriously," James said. He knew his father wouldn't talk to him about the work that he did at the ministry, though. He never did. It was just fun to ask, though.

"What are your plans this morning?" Mrs. Potter asked as she placed a plate brimming with food in front of each boy.

"Ah, well, we were planning on sitting around the pool," Sirius yawned. "Nothing much more than working on our tans."

"But we don't have a pool," Mrs. Potter said with a confused look on her face. Sirius grinned and pulled out his wand. He did a little flicking motion with his wand and through the dining room window, a pool sunk into the emerald green grass.

"Don't worry, we will fix the grass at the end of summer," James promised quickly as his mother looked out into their back yard. Mrs. Potter turned and looked at him with her arms crossed, a smirk on her face.

"Be sure you do, or you will plant every blade of grass by hand, boys," Mrs. Potter said. Sirius laughed, knowing as much as Mrs. Potter tried to be stern with them, she really was a big softy when it came to her two favorite boys. "Just because you can do magic doesn't mean you should be careless. I'll need to call the gardener and tell him not to come for the rest of the week, so that nothing is amiss."

"Honey, do you really think Javier would notice? He ran the hose over again last week," Mr. Potter asked as he looked up from his copy of the Daily Profit.

"He's blind, but he'd notice a pool, dear," Mrs. Potter said as she sat down with her own cup of hot coffee. "Anyone we know?"

"George Ursula and Booboo Cheeky," Mr. Potter said quietly. "Remember we met them at the wizard convention last year?"

"Were they the alternative couple?" Mrs. Potter asked as she mentally ran through everyone she met that night.

"Yes, the ones that had the matching Dragon Skin suits," Mr. Potter said. "They were found dead in their condo, and the Brandt family has gone missing."

"Terrible," Mrs. Potter said shaking her head. Mr. Potter agreed. It seemed like more and more people were disappearing or dying as the days passed.

"It's that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," Mr. Potter said shaking his own head. "We have been forbidden to even say his name, it's just snow balling. No one seems to know why he is doing the things he is doing. Some say to take over the ministry; others say it is to wipe out all of the muggle born citizens."

"I can't believe that there are people out there that can't stop him," Mrs. Potter said as she leaned forward on her elbow.

"Ma, he is wicked powerful," James said with his mouth full of food. She made a face.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, James," Mrs. Potter said quickly, barely looking at her son. "We are just a couple of weeks into the summer and it is too soon for you to lose your manners."

"Sorry," James said after forcibly swallowing.

"He's right, Mom," Sirius said after making sure he had nothing in his mouth. "He's supposed to be the most powerful wizard of his time."

"That's what we hear," Mr. Potter said shaking his head. "I don't know how Phil Perkins plans to deal with this, and Cornelius Fudge is nipping at his heels to get Phil's job. I was out for lunch with Phil the other day ago and this very topic came up. He's getting too old for all this, he told me, and I am thinking new blood like Cornelius might be beneficial."

"No, really? Phil's not even one hundred yet!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed.

"With all the stress, he looks closer to two, though," Mr. Potter said wearily. "It really ages a man."

"We're going to go outside now," Sirius said as James and he rose from the table with plates in their hands. They placed the empty plates into the sink.

"Do you really think that they'll replace Mr. Perkins with Cornelius Fudge? He is such a sniveling idiot!" James asked Sirius in a hurried whisper as they headed out to the pool.

"I hope not," Sirius said as he glanced back at the modest house. "Your dad really seems worried about it, and I bet Voldemort would love for such a spineless man as Fudge as minister. We would better serve all those non-pure blooded witches and wizards by offing them now."

"Jeeze, you are always trying to off people," James laughed as the two of them peeled their shirts off their bodies.

"Keep your shorts on," Mrs. Potter warned from the window as they removed their sweat pants.

"Mom, really, there is nothing wrong with a healthy bit of nudity," James said. He decided maybe she had the right idea and he and Sirius decided to leave their undershorts on, especially when they knew Mrs. Potter would be around.

"It's not like we are gay for each other," Sirius said quietly as he laughed and shook his head.

"I think our term 'heterosexual life partner' really scares the dickens out of her," James said as he leaned his head back against the side of the pool. "She's still holding the faith that one day I will get married and give her some grandchildren."

"And will you?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Who knows?" James replied shrugging. He dipped his head under the water too cool the heat that was rising quite quickly in his cheeks.

"You're thinking of her, aren't you?" Sirius asked.

"No," James lied.

"Oui, you are," Sirius teased.

"You learn one French word that sounds perverse and you never stop, do you?" James laughed. Sirius laughed.

"You learn 'perverse' from your lady love and you toss it around whenever you can, so don't ride me about my French," Sirius joked. "Just because it was the only thing the Bella Decouix ever said to me last year doesn't mean it is the only word I know."

"You sicken me," James said with feigned disgust.

"This coming from the man who has been pining for six long years over a girl you will never have a chance with," Sirius said.

"I will," James said as he looked to where Sirius was looking intently. "It's too early for owls from the school, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sirius said as the two of them climbed from the pool. Sirius conjured them both towels as the owl flew to a halt, landing on the fence post. A letter was tied to its leg. James and Sirius looked at it curiously as Mrs. Potter exited the house in a quick fury.

"This can't be good," James whispered as Mrs. Potter pulled the letter free of the bird. It promptly took off, not even waiting for a response. Mrs. Potter read it over quickly.

"James, I want you and Sirius to go straight up and get dressed," Mrs. Potter said quickly. "We are leaving in five minutes. There has been an attack, or what appears to possibly be an attack, on several of your housemates from Gryffindor."

James and Sirius bolted up the stairs and within a matter of minutes they joined Mr. and Mrs. Potter in the study where Mr. Potter's fireplace hook up to the floo network was. Neither boy liked traveling by any method but flying, but they knew that Sirius' motorbike and James' broom flying through the air would not be a sight that the muggles would be accustom to seeing.

"Where are we going?" James asked as he noticed his father was clean shaven now.

"We are going to floo to the ministry," Mr. Potter said. "You three will head over to St. Mungo's to check on your classmates."

"So, was it really an attack?" James asked. Mr. Potter shrugged.

"Dumbledore seems to think so," Mr. Potter said. "I have never seen him to be wrong before."

The four of them used the floo network to arrive at the ministry. Mr. Potter promised to catch up with them once he was done getting debriefed by the minister of magic, and the three, with Mrs. Potter leading, headed toward St. Mungo's. They were not surprised to see how many Gryffindor students were already there. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were already there, along with Frank Longbottom, the fifth person that shared in their room. Alice Keating, Frank's girlfriend and Lily Evan's best friend, threw her arms around James.

"It was awful! Simply awful," Alice wailed. James patted her back confused and slowly pulled back.

"No one told you anything, did they?" Frank asked as he looked up from the floor.

"We were just told to come," Mrs. Potter said quickly as she looked over at Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom.

"James, Lily was driving the car," Alice wailed. "Everything was fine, but then it wasn't. It was as if the car came to life, as if it had a mind of its. I was in the passenger seat next to her, and her parents were behind us. Lily's parents are dead."

"No, what? How?" Sirius asked as James sunk into the chair closest to him.

"The car, I don't know. It just exploded. Out of thin air, it exploded. Dumbledore is in there with her now," Alice said as she nodded to a set of double hung white doors that stated No Access. A cold chill hung on the air.

"Is she ok?" James asked quietly as his mother put her arm around his shoulder.

"We don't know," Mrs. Potter said, confirmed by Mrs. Longbottom nodding.

"I wasn't in the car when it happened," Alice said sniffling. "Lily spelled me out of the car just seconds before it exploded. All I got was this horrible case of road rash on my hands when I hit the ground." James looked at Alice's hands.

"Thank god, dear, that you are ok," Mrs. Longbottom said as she patted Alice's shoulder. "Mr. and Mrs. Evan's passing is a tragedy, yes, but you and Lily are alive."

"Professor McGonagall," Sirius said standing as the woman exited through the double hung doors.

"I must say, I dare not expect that any of you will be permitted back here anytime soon," Mrs. McGonagall said apologetically. "Lily Evans has requested her privacy at this time, and I think she shall be allowed the courtesy."

"Naturally," Mrs. Potter said as she stood. She touched James' shoulder. "We should go."

"But, I want to see her," James said quickly. "I need to see that she is alright."

"Is there anything you can do, Minnie?" Mrs. Potter asked hopefully.

"If I let you just peek in on her a minute, just to rest in your mind that she is indeed fine, then you will be satisfied and go?" Professor McGonagall asked quickly. James nodded quickly.

"Our little secret, right?" James asked standing. He glanced back at the worried faces of the others before following Professor McGonagall through the forbidden doors. Whereas the waiting room was loud and hectic, the hall was stark and silent. James strained to hear of life beyond the doors, but even their footsteps fell silent on the tiled floor.

"Here," Professor McGonagall whispered as she nodded to an open door. James took a deep breath and held it as he looked in through the open door.

Lily was in bed, turned away from the door, looking at Professor Dumbledore. She was wearing a white hospital gown, the ties fastened at her neck and low back. The blanket covered her hips and all points south. Her hair was loose, splayed on the pillow. Lily reached to her face to brush that meddlesome strand that refused to fall in line with the other hair. A cast was fixed to her wrist, a gift from the muggle hospital she had been taken to first.

"The green light you saw, Lily, was from the Death Eaters," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. His eyes looked away from Lily, meeting James' eyes for a second, before returning to Lily.

"I did my best," Lily whispered. James barely recognized her voice. It was thicker, deeper with the tears that seemed to be threatening.

"You did marvelously, Lily," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. "You kept them at bay long enough to save Alice and yourself. Your parents would have been proud."

"Does Alice know?" Lily asked.

"That your parents were already dead before you sent her from the car? I don't know," Professor Dumbledore said as he touched her hand. "I do know that many of your friends have flocked here to see you."

"I don't want to see them," Lily murmured. "I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Understandable," Professor Dumbledore said calmly. "If you don't object, I will have the arrangements taken care of for you and your sister."

"She's going to hate me," Lily said. She laughed mirthlessly. "I mean more than normal."

"Deep down, I'm sure your sister knows how hard you fought to keep your parents safe, Lily," Professor Dumbledore said. "I will arrange for your sister and you to relocate to your aunt's house for the summer, and we will see you back next year."

"Professor," Lily asked as Professor Dumbledore stood.

"Yes, dear?" he replied, standing there.

"Do you think the Death Eaters killed my parents to punish me for being a muggle born witch?" Lily asked. Professor Dumbledore smiled softly at her.

"I think that the Death Eaters kill with extreme prejudice," he replied. "But, to answer your question honestly, I think that they fear your power and wish to take you out of any possible equation. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, Lily Evans."

"Ok," Lily said quietly as she pulled the blanket higher on her body, her back still to the door. She didn't watch Professor Dumbledore leave; instead she focused on the blank white wall of her hospital room. Professor Dumbledore nodded at James as he exited, and the two men continued down the hall in silence until they were nearly at the door.

"Lily's going to need her friends now more than ever," Professor Dumbledore said. "Perhaps you can try to be for her the friend she needs?"

"I'll try," James promised. Professor Dumbledore nodded, smiling, and patted his shoulder.

"I know you will, my boy," Professor Dumbledore said as the two rejoined the others in the waiting room.

The funeral for Mr. and Mrs. Evans was a few days later, and all who were at the hospital attended. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stood off from the adults as they all watched the caskets lower into the ground. Dressed in black, Lily and her sister Petunia stood with their Aunt Anne and Uncle Joe. Lily kept her head lowered; she didn't acknowledge those around her while dirt was tossed on the caskets. Her sister, though in recent years hadn't gotten along well, clung to Lily for support. The two girls wept silently, Lily forcing the tears from her eyes and face with her the palm of her hand, as if the act of crying was indecent.

"Thank you for coming," Lily murmured in a monotonous voice as she shook hands of other mourners, offering her cheek to familiars who kiss. James followed Sirius in line.

"If you ever need anything," Sirius whispered as he kissed her cheek. She nodded.

"Thank you Sirius," Lily murmured. She forced a smile. "Your coming here means a lot to my family, and to me."

"We are deeply sorry for your loss," James said as he hesitated before leaning forward and kissing her cheek.

"Always trying to push limits," Lily said with a tearful smile. "I'm grateful, thanks."

"You know me," James said before they moved on to allow for others to pay their respects. James and his friends huddled around the snack table, watching as Lily embraced Alice. The cast was gone from her arm, but her arm was still weak from the non magical break.

James intended on talking to Lily again before he left, but he never could get her alone quite long enough to speak to her. Usually one of their friends would come up to offer an arm or a shoulder to hold on to. James frowned as he thought how scattered her thoughts were when she accidently asked him if he wouldn't mind getting her some tea, and calling him Severus.

"Sorry, James," Lily said quickly as she realized her mistake. She shook her head. "I haven't been sleeping much and really, I'm not myself."

"No problem," James said through gritted teeth. Secretly he fumed that she could make such a mistake, especially since Severus Snape hadn't even thought to attend the funeral. Snape could stake claim to knowing her the longest but he couldn't be bothered with something as meaningful as the funeral of her parents.

"Where is Snape?" James wondered aloud.

"I guess he's not coming," Lily said as she bit her bottom lip slightly. She shrugged and took the tea from him.

"Probably for the best," Sirius offered. Lily looked at him haughtily and walked back towards Alice and Frank.

"Way to go," James snapped.

"What did I do?" Sirius asked as Mrs. Potter signaled for them to leave with her. James shot Sirius a dirty look as they stood and left. James stole one last look at Lily before he departed, committing her face to memory like no other time. She took that moment to look at him, smiled one of her rare smiles, and returned her focus to Petunia, who had begun to wail loudly.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ah, well no one had any suggestions, so I am just going to go with the working title (Moving On). Starting with chapter three, it will have switched to that name, so you know. Thank you to all of you who have read and review. This one is probably going to be more 'involved' when it comes to plot (and possibly longer). So if it feels slower, sorry… I'm trying to make sure that each chapter is of decent length and it bounces back and forth between the POV of our two primary main characters…

Standard disclaimer: just borrowing the characters for my own warped sense of creativity.

Chapter Two

The train had already departed from King's Crossing and was on its way. Lily sighed, and turned after breaking up the third squabble between students since she had climbed aboard the train to Hogwarts. Lily inhaled sharply as a first year crashed into her, spilling a glass of ice cold pumpkin juice down the front of her shirt and skirt.

"I'm sorry!" The first year exclaimed as she burst into tears. The girl ran off before Lily could stop her.

"Kids," Lily grumbled as she headed back toward the head carriage. She had been pleasantly surprised when she had received the letter announcing that she had been chosen as head girl. She was certainly thankful for the private carriage. She didn't want to face anyone quite yet. She had spent the entire summer lazing at her aunt and uncle's house. She hadn't talked much to Petunia, who threw herself into a relationship with Vernon Dursley, an older boy whose hungry demeanor had bothered Lily a great deal.

Lily rummaged through her case and pulled out a fresh shirt and skirt. She pulled her shirt off and pulled the clean one on her body. Before she buttoned her shirt, she whipped the damp, sticky skirt off and threw it to the floor. The door to the compartment slid open and Lily jerked her head around to see James Potter standing there. Lily's mouth dropped open in surprise.

"Lily, I… uh… wow, uh," James said standing there with the door wide open. Lily deftly pulled the skirt on and buttoned it.

"This is the head compartment," Lily said as she turned to look at him, her fingers buttoning the pressed white shirt. Heat rose in her cheeks as the thought that James had seen her quite indecently.

"I know," James said tossing his duffle bag on top of the trunk tucked in the corner. "I'm assuming that you got your letter over the summer, as did I."

"Professor Dumbledore made you head boy?" Lily asked as she tucked her shirt into her skirt. "Why?"

"I don't know," James said shrugged. He grinned at Lily wide. "Perhaps he thinks I am charming."

"At least somebody does," Lily said flippantly as she straightened her shirt.

"Hey, now, Lils don't be that way," James said. He threw himself casually into the seat. Lily rolled her eyes.

"If you expect that this year's going to be any different than past years, save your breath, James," Lily said as she smoothed her hair down.

"Oh, I don't expect anything," James promised with his hands up in defense. He smiled at her. "You've got to admit though it's interesting that of the entire seventh year student body you and I became head boy and girl."

"I don't know if interesting is quite the word that I would use," Lily said raising her eyebrow. "Annoying, maybe, but not interesting."

"Well, I'd love to sit here and chat up semantics with you, Lily, but Sirius lost a little bet with me over the summer and I plan to start collecting now," James laughed as he stood. He headed out the door, stopping to glance back at her. "By the way, I've got to tell you that I never took you as a black lacy panty kind of girl." He laughed heartily.

Lily made a sound of outrage but James had already exited the carriage on his quest to find Sirius. Lily couldn't even pretend that she was interested to know what James and Sirius were up to this time. Lily shook her head. Whatever it was, it was sure to be something stupid and dangerous, and was probably something that was breaking the rules.

Lily headed out to see how the prefects were getting along. She saw the Remus had managed to pull himself away from James and Sirius long enough to deal with his duties. He acknowledged her as she walked into the prefect carriage, but remained seated. Lily looked around at the prefects, her eyes sliding across each of them without change. She didn't even change her expression when her eyes fell on Severus, though inside the blood boiled with such anger and hatred. He was supposed to be her best friend, he said that he loved her, and yet he couldn't pull himself away from his summer activities long enough to support her at her parents' funeral. So much for an unbreakable, undying love.

"All right, as many of you know, we are the leaders of the school, and it is our responsibility to ensure rules are enforced. I don't want any repeats of last year where houses retaliated against each other. If a Slytherin gives a Gryffindor a detention, Gryffindor is not to turn around and give Slytherin detention. We're not out there to fulfill our own personal vendettas, ok?" Lily said as she perched herself on one of the chairs.

"Who died and made you queen of the rules?" Narcissa Black asked from her seat next to Severus Snape.

"I'm head girl, so that would be Professor Dumbledore," Lily said without blinking an eye. "As I've always said, it's a pleasure being on the same team."

"Oh, I agree," Narcissa said with her normal bored, airy sarcasm. Lily felt her stomach clench unpleasantly at the thought of having to spend yet another year with Narcissa on patrol. Lily took a deep breath and relaxed.

"So, assuming no one had any complaints in regards to last year's rotations for patrol, I think we'd best not mess with a good thing, right?" Lily asked as she conjured up her notebook.

"Well," Severus drawled slowly. Lily frowned, wondering if only Slytherins spoke in haughty, drawled out syllables.

"Yes, Severus?" Lily asked as she crossed her ankles and turned to look at him. She was certain her face was indifferent, though inside she felt homicidal.

"I was just wondering if the 'Golden Boy' will be on the rotation list," Severus asked. Lily nodded.

"Naturally," Lily said. "He and I will fall into the places of the heads in the rotation, and, well, ok, so I'll rewrite up the rotation."

"I thought so," Severus said smirking at her. Lily felt her hand clench on her wand, but she forced herself relax.

"For now, I think that we should wander about and make sure that all is on the up and up, ok? Say once an hour until we arrive at Hogwarts. Prefects are responsible to guide students from their house onto the carriages from the train. Hagrid will naturally deal with the first years, since they belong to no houses yet," Lily said as she stood. "I look forward to a great year."

Lily held the door open and walked out, followed by Remus. He walked behind her, reaching forward and touching Lily's hand. She turned around and smiled at him, letting him fall instep beside her. Lily looked over at Remus, thinking he look tired. She mentally ran through the lunar calendar. It was nearly the full moon.

"How're you feeling, Remus?" Lily asked as Remus shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. He grinned.

"I'm fantastic, Lily, really," Remus said though he sounded as tired as he looked. "And you? How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, actually," Lily said as she brushed some hair behind her ear. "This is never a good sign."

"Shades drawn?" Remus asked as he looked at the window to Lily's right. She rapped on the door with her knuckles before entering. "Wait, Lily, no."

It was too late. Lily entered and was immediately covered in green, sticky goo. Sirius and Peter were laughing hysterically and James had a look of sheer horror on his face. He jumped up immediately and began siphoning it off with his wand. Lily stood there, arms outstretched, with a look of outrage on her face. James was blubbering an apology to her, the words lost on Lily's ears.

"This is why you missed the prefect meeting!" Lily practically screeched as the goo continued to drip down her face. She turned on her heel, slamming the door on James, and marched back to the head compartment. Anger boiled within her, and she nearly ripped the door off its sliders. Severus was sitting there, his wand lazily spinning between his fingers.

"My, my, my Lily," Severus drawled in his regular, monotonous voice. Lily didn't say anything at first, just glared at him with her hands on her hips. "Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes?"

"What do you want, Severus? I'm not in the mood to deal with you," Lily snapped at him.

"Ooh, temperamental aren't we?" Severus teased as his dark eyes met hers. "Yes, I can see that I'm not wanted here. Perhaps we'll chat later then." Severus rose and let himself out of the head compartment. He slowly walked down the corridor, wanting nothing more to have her watch him but she slammed the door.

"Green, nasty goo," Lily practically shrieked into the mirror as she retrieved her own wand. She did a much better job siphoning the goo into a container she conjured. When she was very nearly clean, she inspected the goo now fighting to escape the glass jar. At first, she thought of vanishing the jar of goo but she thought better of it.

"You may serve me well yet, goo," Lily coaxed to the jar as she placed it safely between her clothes. She slammed the trunk shut and locked it as the train lurched to a stop. Pulling her school robes on over her shirt and skirt, Lily headed to the corridors to start shuttling the students off the train. Lily didn't bother herself with any of the prefects, nor with the head boy, who didn't seem to care much about his responsibilities.

When the last student was on the carriages and the final first year students were on their boat ride to the castle, Lily climbed onto the last carriage. She sat down, her hands folded in her lap, as she waited for the carriage to head toward the school. Three more people climbed aboard the carriage and Lily barely looked up to greet James, Remus, or Sirius.

"We're really sorry about the goo, Lily," James explained as he picked the last little bit out of Lily's hair and flung it out into the bushes. She shrugged, not really wanting to say much of anything to them.

"No, really Lily," Sirius said. "That wasn't meant for you."

"Save it, Sirius," Lily said without emotion. "Nothing more can be expected from you."

"Ah, now Lils," Sirius said as he put his arm around Lily's rigid shoulders. He nudged her chin with his knuckles. "Deep down, you know you secretly love us."

"Hardly," Lily said as she pushed Sirius away. "You would be wise to remember that I'm head girl, and I'll not hesitate to give you detention."

"Ooh, Evans, that stings a bit," Sirius said as he pulled away, making a face. He crossed his arms, not used to being rejected.

"Mind yourself, Sirius," James warned with a devilish grin. "The challenge."

"The challenge, the challenge," Sirius grumbled pouting a bit. "Aye, the challenge."

"Now you sound Scottish," James said shaking his head. "Is 'yes' the only thing you ever pick up in other languages?"

"Well, no sounds the same in most languages," Remus said knowledgeably. "Not that Sirius has ever heard a woman tell him 'no', apart from Lily."

"And I never asked," Sirius said quickly looking at James. James shot him a look.

"I never said you did, Sirius," James said.

"You two are acting so odd," Lily commented as the castle came into view. Her breath caught in her chest as the castle loomed in the nearly full moon.

"Breath taking as always," Remus said wearily as he looked at the castle and avoided looking at the moon. Lily looked up for a moment, focusing on a single, solitary star as she collected her thoughts and fought the tears that inexplicably threatened to fall. She wasn't weak, and she wasn't about to show weakness in front of any of them. Maybe she would cry later, but she would sneak out of Gryffindor tower and head to the astronomy tower. No one needed to see or hear her cry.

"So," Lily sounded a little louder than she intended. Blushing, she lowered her voice some. "You aren't going to be well to patrol in three days, so James'll have to take your place."

"Oh, no can do, sweetheart," James said coyly.

"Don't call me sweetheart," Lily said affronted. "And why can't you cover his patrol. You, above all, should understand why Remus isn't going to be available."

"I've got plans already," James said as he picked at his cuticle.

"Plans? Honestly, James," Lily said as she stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder accidentally as she steadied herself. He looked up at her, his eyes wide, and she withdrew her hand quickly as if the very act of touching him burned her.

"I'd love to patrol in Remus' place, but like I said, I have plans," James said as he collected himself. Lily sighed.

"Fine," Lily said as she hopped free of the carriage. "I guess I'll just have a Slytherin patrol in Remus' place."

"I'm really sorry, Lily," Remus apologized.

"It's never a problem," Lily assured him. "It's not your fault that Potter is selfish."

"I'm not selfish!" James hollered at her as she headed toward the castle. Mr. Filch raised an eyebrow at the three Marauders headed through the door.

"I've got my eye on you this year," Mr. Filch said in his wheezy voice. "Mrs. Norris and I'll catch you up to no good and then we'll finally get to toss you bunch out on your backsides."

"Fabulous," James grumbled as the three headed into the castle. "Lily's already pissed at me and Filch already has it out to get me. We're not even a full day into the new term."

"You think you've got it bad," Sirius challenged. "I've got a best friend that has decided to ruin what should be my best year with a silly challenge."

"You lost the bet, my friend," James reminded him as they pushed through the doors to the great hall. "You can admit defeat now and crown me king."

"No freaking way, dude," Sirius said as he flipped his hair back a second. "I can do this."

"Sure you can," Remus said laughing in disbelief as they took their seats and the sorting began.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** As previously stated, it will remain with its 'birth' name (unless if half way through any of you can think of something better than Moving On). I love the reviews and I hope that they keep up, but if they don't something terrible might happen to James and/or Lily and/or any of the other Marauders. I'm just saying (knuckles cracking) it could get messy…

Just kidding, naturally. I wouldn't hurt them just because people don't review. (Muh hah ha ha)

Standard disclaimer: I am just borrowing the characters for my own warped sense of creativity.

Chapter Three

It just didn't seem decent that the seventh years had so much more work to attend to, no matter their status. Every free period was spent hunched uncomfortably over thick stacks of books. Everyone was uptight, even James. He had scheduled tryouts for Quidditch for Saturday, and normally that would have his complete attention, but this year was different. It wasn't even that he was captain, because he was captain last year. James just wasn't used to the stressful atmosphere that surrounded every nook and cranny.

"It is too damn early in the year for us to be this stressed," James said as he slammed his book closed, causing quite a few dirty looks in his general direction.

"This is the rest of our lives, James," Remus said.

"I know that," James said as he reopened his book in defeat. He looked to Sirius, but found him just as tense.

"It's this damn bet, James," Sirius whispered. "It's killing me."

"It's not even been a week," Remus said.

"Right, but in dog years it is more like a month or more," Sirius said. He had taken up tapping his quill on everything nervously. That drew more dirty looks in their direction.

"Do you submit?" James asked as he raised his eyebrows at Sirius. Sirius shook his head, continuing to tap on the table.

"Never, you bastard," Sirius whispered as a group of girls passed them. Two of the girls especially looked at Sirius with taunting smiles. He smiled back, but turned away quickly and begun tapping his quill harder.

"You're going to have to stop that," Lily said as she leaned back in her seat to get a better look at James' table. James raised his eyebrows at Lily.

"Stop what?" Sirius asked as he frowned, still tapping his quill.

"The quill tapping," Lily said as she reached back and snatched the quill from Sirius' hand. "Whatever crazy thing you four are up to, you've got to stop tapping that damn quill."

"Language Lily," James teased. Lily shot him a dirty look.

"No, seriously Sirius, you've got to stop tapping," Alice said from across the table that she and Lily were sharing with some other students. "It's driving us all mad."

"Great," growled Sirius. "Now I can't even work some steam off tapping."

The four sat in silence: James reading the same page over and over but not grasping the topic, Peter doodling on what was supposed to be his transfiguration essay, Remus finishing off his potion's essay, and Sirius now tapping his foot. James sighed and closed his book quietly, leaning towards Sirius. He signaled for Sirius to meet him half way across the table.

"Let's go flying," James whispered. "I'm not learning a damn thing here, and frankly I think we'd both be best served to blow off some steam, you know?"

"I'm up for it," Sirius said quickly as he shoveled his books and parchment pages back into his bag. He glanced over at Lily, who still had his quill, but decided he could do without it. The last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to him and James. The two rose and headed out of the library, barely noticed by Remus or Peter. The two ran like forbidden lovers out for a tryst toward the Quidditch field.

"It's empty, good," James said as he tossed his bag aside and summoned his favorite broom. He kicked off of the spongy ground, the lilting breeze combing through his already wild hair. He didn't wait for Sirius to join him; he just sped down the field as fast as he could. He had flown over the summer, but never so out in the open. It was a drawback of the whole secrecy thing with magic. No muggle could see him fly; otherwise he'd be breaking a dozen rules.

"Out here, I nearly forget the world," Sirius said as he pulled up next to James. The two of them were hovering over Hogwarts.

"I know," James said. "I wish we'd never have to go down."

"As Remus would say, that's not realistic," Sirius said in a mocking tone, imitating Remus. "Sometimes, and don't get mad for me saying this, I think Remus and Lily are better suited for each other. They're both such solemn people. I don't think Remus would ever have any fun if it wasn't for us."

"Gee, Sirius," James said pouting as he crossed his arms playfully.

"What is your big plan for this year?" Sirius asked him quietly as they continued to hover.

"No plan this year," James said. "I've tried so hard the last few years. I think I've gone about it all the wrong way."

"Uh," Sirius said. "I'm not sure that nothing is the right choice either, James."

"I've never tried not pursuing her," James said. "It's worth a try."

Sirius shrugged as the large bells tolled. Sighing the two of them returned to the ground and gathered their bags. Slowly, reluctantly, they headed off toward the dungeons for potions. Lily was already in the class, Professor Slughorn chatting her up while the other students came in and settled down. Sirius and James chose a table towards the middle, closest to the windows. Lily took the one in front of theirs, closest to the board.

"I love potions," Lily whispered to Alice. Alice smiled at Lily, but it was obvious that Alice did not feel the same way.

"Lily, mind if I join your table?" Severus asked as he looked at her. Lily smiled at him, but her smile held no warmth.

"Sorry, Severus," Lily said as she grabbed Remus' sleeve. "I already promised it to Remus. Right, Remus?"

"Huh?" Remus said with a startled look on his face. "Oh, yeah, right."

Remus shot James an apologetic look as he took the seat next to Lily. James shook his head, sighing. There went James' perfect grade in potions. He was terrible in potions, and the without Remus there to bail him out, he was a goner. James opened his book, looking very much as confused as Sirius looked. James looked at Peter, who had taken the seat next to him.

"Are you any good?" James asked him.

"In potions? No," Peter said as he scratched his head. Sirius laughed.

"Do you still have fleas?" Sirius asked.

"I must, but I went to the vet and got some flea ointment," Peter grumbled as he scratched his head again.

"Sorry 'bout that," Sirius laughed.

"Maybe if we watch Remus and Lily, we will still be alright," Peter offered. James and Sirius looked skeptical, but they were willing to try. They were supposed to be making an elation elixir, a pinkish purple potion that gave intense feelings of happiness and peace. Naturally, James saw that Remus and Lily had the identical shade of baby pink. Alice's looked more magenta, but still passable. Sirius and James looked in their own cauldrons, mere inches from Lily and Remus' cauldrons.

"How's it go?" Lily asked as she looked up from her cauldron.

"Brilliantly," James said as he carelessly picked up two beakers.

"Do you know what you are doing with those two essences?" Lily asked frowning. James laughed.

"Naturally," James said as he quickly poured the chemicals into his cauldron. The substance exploded, causing the cauldrons nearest his to explode. The entire class was covered in the nonsense potions of James and Sirius, but could care less. Once Lily and Remus' elation elixir covered them all, head to toe, the entire class was laughing.

"My, my," Professor Slughorn laughed. His round belly jiggled with each laugh, which caused Lily to laugh harder. "I'd dare say that Remus and Lily… ha ha ha… their potion was a… he ha he… success."

James was laughing hard, but he sobered some when Lily threw her arms around him, laughing and holding on to him to remain on her feet. Peter was giggling madly, rolling around the floor like a crazy person. Alice was barely able to catch her breath between guffaws. Alice inhaled quickly that sounded like a large, piggy snort which sent Lily over the edge in her laughter. Tears streamed down her face and James laughed as Lily snorted as well.

"This is too much," Lily cried in mirth as she held tight to James' arm. "Too much!"

Sirius was doubled over, shaking with laughter that had gone either so loud or so silent that no one was able to hear him, just see him shake. A few witches in the back were cackling, which struck James as insanely funny. He became hysterical, gripping the table as he laughed while Lily gripped him. Slowly, very slowly the laughing calmed some and turned to chuckling and giggling, then to quiet snickering. At long last, the laughter subsided to silence. Lily released James, and he sat down at his desk, suddenly quite down.

"Ah, yes," Professor Slughorn said quite soberly. "With the very highs, come the very lows."

"I don't think I've quite ever felt this depressed in my life," Alice said miserably.

"It wears off," Professor Slughorn said as he looked over his class morosely. "Perhaps it would be best for none of you to play with sharp objects or get too close to the windows."

"Have you ever had a jumper?" James asked as he looked at the window. He knew he'd never felt so depressed before in his life, so dejected.

"No, and I'd fancy you not being the first," Professor Slughorn said. James nodded and tore his gaze away from the window.

"Could you imagine how we'd feel if we were doing a love potion?" James murmured. Sirius looked at him with this pained, sulky look in his eyes.

"We totally suck at potions," Sirius said moodily as he took to rummaging around in his bag for a quill.

"Yeah, I know," James said. He raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Potter," Professor Slughorn asked.

"Can you assign me a tutor?" James asked. "I'd rather not experience this again."

"Too right," Professor Slughorn said. "This was just a simple elation elixir. Had it been Vertiserum or something like that, the results would have been disastrous. Since we will be brewing that in the near future, I'd definitely like to avoid the loose tongues of a bunch of seventeen year olds."

"As would we," Lily said as she stood. James looked at her, confused.

"Thank you, Lily," Professor Slughorn said signaling to James with a wave of the hand. Like that, Lily had offered to tutor James in potions. The bell tolled, signaling the end of class, and James climbed to his feet. He and Sirius hung back, waiting for the class to depart before they headed up to Professor Slughorn.

"Sir, we are so sorry," James said. Professor Slughorn smiled.

"I have to say that I really enjoyed the laughter," Professor Slughorn said. "No hard feelings on blowing up a bit of potion. Who knows, perhaps you and Ms. Evans will find you have more in common than potions."

"You devilish man you," Sirius said grinning. At last, the potion seemed to have completely worn off, and it was about time. Sirius and James were not ones that like the down, dark sadness.

The two of them headed to the great hall for mealtime, and James grinned at Sirius as they both surveyed the sea of people before them. Sirius tried not to focus on the fine forms the girls seemed to have developed over the summer. The longer he was celibate, the better looking they all became. Sirius swore a nasty word at a smirking James and headed straight for Lily. James chased after him, nervous. The only rule to the challenge was that Sirius couldn't date or be with a girl romantically.

"Hey there, Lily," Sirius said as he leaned on the table.

"Hello there, Sirius," Lily said glancing at Alice. Alice shrugged then turned back to Frank.

"Did James tell you that he has an effigy of you in his room?" Sirius asked. James looked horrified.

"I do not!" James exclaimed. Lily looked at him in surprise.

"An effigy? Really?" Lily asked as she mulled it over in her mind. "You're one strange boy, James Potter."

"Remus, do I have an effigy of Lily in my room?" James demanded as he looked to Remus and Peter.

"Not the last time I was in there," Remus said quietly. Sirius shot a look at Peter.

"No, Remus is right," Peter said indifferently. "It's more of a shrine."

"A shrine?" James asked laughing. "Really, Lily, they're pulling your leg. I don't have a shrine or effigy of you."

"Do so," Sirius challenged with a wicked grin on his face. "And, he has pasted your likeness on the faces of all the witches in his PlayWizard magazine."

"Ooh la la," Lily said laughing as she leaned forward on her elbows.

"I really didn't!" James denied. Lily laughed and took a final sip of her pumpkin juice.

"You don't have to explain," Lily said as she stood. "Alice, I'll see you back in the room. Don't let these boys corrupt you."

"I can't believe you lied like that," James said as he and Sirius both sat down.

"All in good fun," Sirius said as he helped himself to some food. Alice looked at James curiously.

"Did you really paste her face on the witches in the magazine?" Alice asked curiously. James shook his head adamantly.

"No, Sirius is just being a dick," James said. "And I don't have a shrine or effigy."

"Nah, but you do have a picture of her," Sirius laughed. "I've seen you kiss it."

"How sweet!" Alice giggled as she stood. "Well, I really must be off now."

"You're not going to tell Lily are you?" James asked hopefully. Alice shot him the slyest smile she could muster.

"My loyalties don't lie with you, James Potter. They lie with Lily," Alice said as she flipped her brown hair around and headed out toward the entry way to the great hall, where she had just come from in a hurry.

"Great," James grumbled.

"You act like it's a bad thing, Lily knowing that you're a sentimental guy," Remus said. "I happen to know she likes when guys really care about her."

"Like you know women," Sirius laughed.

"No, maybe not," Remus said. "But I know Lily. Three years of being a prefect with her, of trusting her with my secrets and me with hers, you get to really know a person."

"I thought you said that you weren't going to try, anyways," Sirius said. "What's wrong with me having a little fun?"

"No, I'm not going to try, but I don't need you being such a dick, either," James snapped at him. He pushed away from the table. "I'm suddenly not hungry." Sirius watched as James stormed away angrily, a frown on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Ok, so I know many of you know I am done through chapter nine, but I have some sad news. I am rewriting chapter eight, therefore I have to rewrite chapter nine. The thing is, it makes the plot too complicated (damn Lily for dancing with the devil in the crystal phial… shakes head). Anyways, it fits beautifully, but it makes it entirely too complicated (should anyone want to read it, I will post it under a different heading as discarded chapters). So, chapters eight and nine are history.

Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing. Your words mean the world.

Standard Disclaimer: I am not the creator, just the molder.

Chapter Four

Lily sat down on the edge of her bed, sliding the knee-high sock on over her feet and pulling them into place. She pulled her shiny black shoes on as she shook her head. It didn't seem to make sense that she was getting dressed in clean clothes when she was certain to get dirty. She glanced over at Alice who was watching her bemused.

"You're hoping you'll see him, aren't you?" Alice asked. Lily looked at Alice with a look of pure scandal.

"I've no clue as to what you're talking about," Lily said though her cheeks had taken on a rosy look to them.

"You may have everyone else fooled, but I know you like James," Alice said in a whisper.

"I do NOT!" Lily said a little louder than she had intended. Lily looked around hurriedly, checking to make sure that no one overheard. "What makes you think I like James? I mean as more than a friend?"

"You spend much more time on your appearance now," Alice pointed out. Lily made a face.

"That has nothing to do with James, though," Lily defended indifferently. "I'm an adult now, and I can't be running around like a heathen with my hair wild and clothes rumpled."

"I don't think I've seen you running around like a heathen, wild hair or rumpled clothes," Alice teased. Lily stuck her tongue out at Alice.

"You know what I mean," Lily said as she hesitated before grabbing her brush. Alice raised her eyebrow as Lily brushed her hair flat.

"I think you spend a lot of time on your appearance when you are going to be around James," Alice said. Lily shot her a dirty look.

"You've got love on the brain, Alice, and you're seeing it where it isn't," Lily said. Lily pulled her cloak on and fastened it at her neck. "Plus, James isn't doing patrol tonight."

Lily closed the door behind her and headed through the common room. She headed out the portrait hole, passing James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. James glanced at his watch.

"It's a little early for you to be starting patrol, isn't it?" James asked. "It's just barely dinner time."

"I'm not patrolling tonight," Lily said smiling at them. "Professor Slughorn has asked me to go to the forbidden forest to gather ingredients for him."

"The forbidden forest?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, dummy, the woods beyond Hagrid's cabin," Sirius said. Peter looked affronted.

"I know what they are, I was just wondering if the woods are safe tonight," Peter said as he shot Sirius a dirty look.

"The woods are safe," James laughed. "Its hours 'till night fall."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Lily said. She looked at her own watch. "I've got to find a way to entertain myself until then."

"You're waiting until dark fall, then," James said. Lily nodded.

"Now, between you and me," Lily said slightly distracted. "I'd much rather not do this on the night of the full moon, but Professor Slughorn needs these ingredients and 'by the light of the full moon' is the best way to gather many of them."

"Would you like me to go with you?" James asked. Lily shook her head.

"You're too busy to patrol, I'm sure that you're too busy to accompany me in the woods," Lily said. She placed her hand on Remus' shoulder and leaned forward, whispering so that only Remus could hear her. "As much as I like you, Remus, I'd rather not have my throat ripped out or to become one of you, so if you'd mind not hunting me, that'd be lovely."

"Ok," Remus said as he nodded. Lily pulled away and grinned.

"Off to dinner with Hagrid," she called waving. Lily knew she needn't worry about Remus. She had made the wolfsbane potion herself, and knew he'd be as harmless as a kitten. Lily headed toward Hagrid's cabin, practically skipping. He was one of the few men that she had ever trusted completely. She was perfectly content talking to him, knowing that he would never reveal her secrets.

"Lily, 'ello there," Hagrid said as he swung his door open wide. His black eyes sparkled as Lily hurried into his hut. He had befriended Lily the first year she attended Hogwarts, on the boat ride to the castle. She hadn't known how to swim and James tipped the boat. Remus, Sirius, and James surfaced quickly but Lily had become tangled in the lake weed and nearly drowned. It was no wonder Lily couldn't trust James. His boyish prank had nearly ended her. If it hadn't been for Hagrid, she may not have survived.

"You're a million miles away tonight, Lily," Hagrid said when he finally got Lily's attention. Lily blushed.

"Sorry, Hagrid," Lily said. "I was just thinking of the boat ride my first year." Hagrid's booming laughter startled Fang, who whimpered and hid under Hagrid's bed.

"That's a darn thing to remember," Hagrid said finally. "I've never lost a firs' year an' I certainly wasn't about to, though there was a moment I thought I had."

"Well, I do appreciate you saving me, naturally," Lily said as she sipped the pumpkin juice. She smiled at him and looked at her watch. "Oh, it's getting to be that time, Hagrid."

"I'll get you your bag," Hagrid said as he stood. Lily looked up at the enormously tall man and nodded, taking her to her own feet. Hagrid fetched her leather satchel. Lily pulled her cloak on over her school uniform and the bag.

"So, I've my list, and a lantern," Lily said nervously. "I've never been in the woods alone, but I've my wand, should I need it."

"An I'll be lookin' out for you, ok?" Hagrid said as he handed her a smaller crossbow. Lily shouldered it. "Honestly, I think Slughorn should be out here doing this 'stead of you, but that's my opinion."

"It'll be alright, Hagrid. I've spoken to the werewolf friend of mine and asked him not to convert me," Lily joked weakly. Hagrid chuckled.

"Glad to see you've never managed to lose your sense of humor," Hagrid said as he opened the door. He handed her a canteen of pumpkin juice. "Though the things you'll do for extra credit."

"You know me," Lily laughed as she pulled her hood up. "Always eager to please."

Lily could feel Hagrid watching her as she tentively took her first steps under the darkened canopy of the forbidden forest. She didn't know what to expect, but she had always been one to expect the unexpected. She knew why Slughorn had chosen her. He knew she wouldn't give up until she had all of the things on the list. The mushrooms and weeds were not issues, really. They were abundant, but she knew that unicorn hair was going to be more challenging, thus the hunt on the night of the full moon. She wouldn't take it from living unicorns, nor would she kill a unicorn, either.

"Hair, hair," Lily murmured as she walked along the paths. She spotted the first unicorn hair. Tossing the crossbow aside, she placed the lantern on the ground and began the tedious task of untangling the hair from the bramble bushed.

"Who goes there?" a male voice rang out. Lily froze, not sure if she had inadvertently crossed into the centaurs' homestead. "Answer me, or I'm not responsible for your demise."

"Please," Lily said as she stood, her hands up in surrender. "I'm a student from up at the school. If I've crossed into your land, I'm sorry. I'm just gathering unicorn hair."

"A human," the centaur said. Lily slowly looked at the group of centaurs who stood in a clearing.

"Don't you know it's a full moon tonight?" An older centaur asked as he moved closer to Lily. Lily nodded once.

"Yes, sir," Lily said as calmly as possible. She knew that while centaurs normally did not become violent unprovoked, she knew the centaurs would not permit for her to remain in their hunting grounds without payment.

"And, child, you know the dangers that come with the full moon?" The older centaur asked. Lily nodded again once.

"Yes, sir," Lily said. She hesitated to see if they required more information from her. "The werewolf, from up at the school."

"Yes, a very dangerous prospect, indeed," the centaurs all murmured in their different voices. Lily nodded.

"The werewolf is my friend, and has taken his potion," Lily said. The centaur raised an eyebrow.

"A werewolf is a werewolf," The centaur said.

"Perhaps," Lily said boldly. "But when he takes his potion, he is no more dangerous than any other creature in the woods."

"We are hunting him," The centaur said. Lily hesitated. She knew she needed not to say more, but she could bring herself to say much. She understood their fear, as she had been afraid in the beginning too, but it wasn't some monster that was out in the woods. It was Remus, and Remus was a very good friend of hers. She could even say she loved him, maybe not romantically but love just the same.

"I've a crossbow, but I'm not hunting anything," Lily confessed. She held up the long, shimmery silver hair. "I'm just gathering loose unicorn hair, some roots, and such."

"If you see him, you will call out, won't you?" The centaur asked. Lily shook her head.

"No," Lily said. Disappointed, the centaurs headed out through the woods and Lily sunk down to the ground. She pulled her cloak around her, a chill suddenly in the air. Wherever Remus went, for he never confided that much in her, she hoped it wasn't the forbidden forest. She continued to gather the hair, the most important ingredient in the potion that the class would be attempting soon.

"Ugh," Lily grunted as a tree branch caught her in the face. She had all she needed and from the look of it, it would be morning soon. Yawning, Lily shouldered the crossbow and headed back towards the school. She stopped when she came to a small stream, not remembering crossing a stream.

"Bloody brilliant," Lily chastised herself. She had managed to head in the wrong direction. Thirsty, and long since having finished the pumpkin juice, Lily dipped her hand in the water and hoped it wouldn't poison her. She looked over as a young colt unicorn, it's horn barely breaching the surface of it's skull, dipped its head to drink from the same water. Lily froze and watched, never having seen a baby unicorn outside of books. It was pure gold, as if cast from the metal and given life. It looked at her, it's clear blue eyes meeting hers as if it was talking to her. The colt looked over it's shoulder at its mother, a beautiful mare with the shimmery silver mane glowing in what was left of the moonlight.

"Ooh," Lily breathed as the baby nuzzled her hand, not having realized she had reached out to the creature. It shook its head and turned to leave, three long golden strands floating slowly down to the ground. The colt looked back at Lily and waited until Lily moved to pick them up. Lily hesitated, thinking at first to add them to the bag. Unicorn hair was very valuable. Colt unicorn hair was priceless. As if answering her questioning eyes, the colt pawed at the ground and Lily slipped them carefully into her silk handkerchief. She placed them safely in her pocket. When she looked up, the unicorn and its colt were gone.

Lily shivered as a wind picked up her hair and tossed it about. Lily could feel the threat of the season change, and knew it wouldn't be long before fall was in full effect. She liked fall, though she knew that being head girl meant that she would have to attend all of the Quidditch matches. She almost laughed. She secretly loved Quidditch, but she refused to let anyone know she did.

"It's dawn on the horizon," a voice said from behind her. Lily turned to see the youngest of the centaurs standing there, his hair glistening with sweat.

"Did you come all the way here to tell me that?" Lily wondered aloud.

"I wanted to see if you had survived," he said. "I'm Blaze."

"Lily Evans," Lily said. She looked up at him standing there with a look of arrogant knowledge on his face. He was beautiful, in an unconventional way. "Did you find what you were hunting?"

"Alas, no," Blaze said shaking his main of hair. "We were not successful."

"Perhaps next month then," Lily said.

"Did you know you are damaged?" Blaze said. Lily touched her forehead tenderly, remembering she had been hit by a thorny branch or two during her gathering.

"I'll be alright," Lily said. She waved good bye to the centaur and headed toward the clearing. Hagrid looked worried, then relieved as Lily stepped out of the woods. He cheered, pumping his fist in the air like a teamer when she came within reach of his hut.

"A'right there?" Hagrid asked. Lily patted the bag on her side.

"A bit tired and hungry, but I'll be fine," Lily said as she handed him the bag. Hagrid peeked inside.

"You never disappoint, Lily," Hagrid said. "Slughorn'll be grateful."

"Well, I don't doubt he will," Lily said yawning. She looked up at the purple-pink of the morning sky and sighed. It really was a beautiful thing, sunrise, and Lily vowed to wake up early to watch more of them.

"Well, off to you," Hagrid said handing her the bag. "See you at the match, I suppose."

"I suppose so, Hagrid," Lily said smiling. "I'm going to head up to the castle and get some breakfast, I think. I ran into centaurs while I was in there."

"Is that where you got the cuts?" Hagrid asked with concern.

"No, I was unharmed by them," Lily said. "I did, however, loose the battle with a prickly branch."

"You're very lucky," Hagrid said. "They were in a right violent state last night. They always are during the full moon."

"Ah, well, I just put on my famous Evans charm," Lily said as she began walking away. "See you later, Hagrid."

Lily headed to Slughorn's office, using her wand to open the door. She placed the bag on his desk and headed toward the great hall. She knew she really should go clean up, but she was thirsty and hungry so she figured one early morning trip with her not looking her best was due. Lily found very few people up that early, and four boys she guessed probably never went to bed.

"Lily Evans, I don't think I've ever seen you up quite so early," Sirius said as he made a face. "What in the hell happened to you?"

"Like you four actually woke up early," Lily said as she pulled off her cape and sat down with them. She normally wouldn't eat with them, but she didn't fancy on a meal alone. Lily piled her plate with fruit and some eggs.

"Whatever do you mean?" Sirius said with feigned innocence.

"I just know that there is no way that you woke up early," Lily said grinning. She waved her hand at them. "I don't care to know what you three were up to while poor Remus was ailing."

"Are you sure?" James asked as he grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure that it was something unlawful or dangerous," Lily said.

"It was," Remus said. Lily raised an eyebrow at them but said nothing more. She leaned forward.

"While I was in the forest, I ran into some Centaurs," Lily said lowering her voice. "They were hunting you, Remus. Please promise me that where ever you go, it's not the forest." She looked at him with concern in her eyes.

"I can't promise that to you," Remus said. Lily shook her head.

"James, talk some sense into him," Lily begged.

"Lily, Remus is an adult. I'm sure he can make his own decisions on where he will go when he is ill," James said as he glanced at Remus. Remus nodded.

"If you won't promise me you won't go, will you promise me you'll at least stay away from the Centaurs?" Lily asked as she crossed her arms.

"That, I can promise," Remus said as he smiled warily at her.

"Are you too tired for the match?" Lily asked him as she placed her hand on his arm, her fingers touching the skin where he had rolled up his sleeves. She turned and looked at James. "As captain, maybe you should use a substitution?"

"Sod off, Lily," Remus said frowning. "You're not my mother. I'm fine."

"Remus," Lily said frowning back. He had never talked to her that way before.

"I don't need you always there, ok?" Remus snapped at her as he jerked away from her.

"Uh," Lily said as she pulled her hand away. She was visibly hurt and she didn't try to hide it. She slowly stood "Well, then… good bye."

Lily glanced back at them as she stopped at the door to the great hall. Remus had his head down in his arms and Sirius seemed to be comforting him. Peter looked very nervous about the whole situation. James was saying something to Remus, but glanced towards Lily. He shook his head and turned back to Remus.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thank you all for the great reviews, really, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter as well. I am using MS Word 2007, so the controls are still being learned, so it is taking me a bit longer to figure out how to save in a format for upload. I know I had told MANY of you that I was rewriting chapters 8 and 9, but I think that it would be a great disservice to my readers. Complicating the story may just be a necessary risk. So… without further chit-chat: the chapter.

Disclaimer: I am only borrowing the characters.

Chapter Five

James pulled his Quidditch robes on, readying himself. He had given them all the tools they needed to win; now they just needed to win. He looked over his team, Remus and Sirius as beaters, three fifth years were chasers, and a fourth year was a keeper. James was the seeker, so he knew he needed the team to function without much input during the actual game, since he would be busy looking for the Golden Snitch.

"You ready?" James asked them as he straightened his robes. The team nodded. James looked at Remus, thinking that he was looking tired, but James didn't say anything. He couldn't deal with it right now; werewolves could get mighty moody right after the full moon. James knew he would have to deal with Remus and Lily soon enough, but now he needed to focus on the match at hand.

The seven walked out onto the field, dressed in their maroon and gold robes to the cheers of half the stands and the jeers of the other half. James did his customary wave to the stands, as did the other Gryffindor team members. James looked up to Professor McGonagall's normal place to see Lily sitting there next to her. Lily looked down at them walk out onto the field and cheered. Though James was sure she wasn't singularly cheering for him, he couldn't help but pretend and feel the swell of pride in his chest.

James mounted his broom and they were off to play Quidditch. James loved the way the wind whipped through his hair as he soared higher and higher into the air. He watched from above as a few goals were made left and right for both sides. James hated Slytherin, and sure enough the Slytherin seeker was circling as well, watching James. James dove quickly, an evasive maneuver, and sure enough the Slytherin seeker followed.

At long last, James saw the snitch and he took off towards it. The Slytherin seeker, who was so much slower than James, never had a chance. James easily captured the snitch and Gryffindor won the game. The Gryffindor team did a victory lap around the field while all but the Slytherin house cheered their victory. James flew down and was embraced by Sirius and Remus. The three were cheering loudly for their victory.

"Victory party, Gryffindor tower!" Sirius cheered as the team finally landed and headed toward the changing tent. James was elated as he pulled off his robes. Sirius laughed and did a little dance around Remus, who was trying to be serious as he took off his robe.

"Don't be such a stick in the mud," Frank said as he swung his arm around Remus. Remus laughed and pushed his arm off his shoulder.

"You're still sore that Lily was trying to mother you, weren't you?" Sirius said knowingly. "You know, you're going to have to apologize to her."

"Apologize? This coming from the man who never says sorry to anyone?" Remus said with a skeptical look on his face. James raised an eyebrow at him.

"She cares for you," James said begrudgingly. "What I'd do to have her care for me like she cares for you."

"Shit," Remus swore under his breath. James shrugged.

"What you need to do is walk up to her and tell her about your close call with the Centaurs, Remus," James said clapping his shoulder roughly. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"If I tell her that, she'll blow her top," Remus said. James nodded.

"Aye, she might, but you underestimate her," James said. He shot a look at Sirius. "Shit, now you've got me talking like you."

"I'll talk to her, certainly, just not tonight," Remus said as he jerked off his shirt and threw it to the floor. He pulled a clean one from his locker and pulled it on over his head. "I feel like such a jerk for snapping at her that way. It was totally uncalled for, and I'm sure she thinks I've gone completely nutters."

"You know, the longer you wait, the harder it'll be," James told him.

"And, where is this new found enlightenment coming from? You sound like you are trying to hook us up, when you know it is you that want to date her," Remus said as he leaned back to retie his shoe. James frowned at Remus. That was never his intention, to make Lily like Remus like that. James knew that they were friends, but now he wondered how close of friends they really were. James felt a twist of jealousy deep within him.

"Ladies, can we talk about this later? There is a party with our name on it in the tower," Sirius said as he ruffled Remus and James' hair. Both boys ducked away from Sirius, laughing, and the team walked together to the Gryffindor tower. They could hear the roar of celebration as the portrait hole swung open, and the seven walked through the door.

"Go! Go! Gryffindor!" cheered the very proud Gryffindor students as the Quidditch team entered the common room. After many pats on the back and bottles of sinful drinks, the seven made it to the middle of the common room. James looked at the elaborate decorations and knew it had to have been Lily who conjured and charmed such things in such a short amount of time.

"Like it?" A voice asked from his left. He turned to see Lily standing there with a bottle of butterbeer in her hand. James looked around again.

"Yeah, I do," James said grinning. "Did you do this all by yourself?"

"I had some house elves help," Lily said modestly. "Congratulations on your big win, captain."

"Thank you," James said. She was being so civil to her. Not only civil, she was being nice to him. He thought back to Sirius' comments the day before. "So you know: I really didn't do all those things Sirius said that I did."

"James, I can usually tell when someone is pulling my leg. I can take a joke. Why would I believe a word Sirius says, anyways," Lily asked as she took a sip of her drink. She shrugged and patted his arm. "You have a good night celebrating, James. You earned it."

"Does that mean you're going to kill me tomorrow when you tutor me?" James asked weakly. Lily grinned.

"Don't worry about tomorrow, James. Tomorrow may never come," Lily said teased as she drew her finger across her throat. She laughed. "You never know when today is your last."

"Ooh, all philosophical, aren't we?" asked Sirius as he came up behind the two of them. James could smell the fire whiskey on Sirius' breath and secretly wondered how he always managed to get a hold of the vile stuff.

"Good night boys," Lily said as she started to walk away. "There is some research I need to do before I head to bed and I'm already so damn tired, since I was out all night long."

"Heading off already, are you? Isn't it a bit early? Even for you?" asked Sirius as he watched her walk away. She waved her hand a bit, not even looking back.

"Why do you always do that?" James asked annoyed.

"Do what?" Sirius asked.

"You always chase her away by saying stupid stuff," James grumbled. "First that crap about an effigy and the dirty magazines, and now this."

"What I do?" Sirius asked bewildered.

"You were being you! Arrogant, pompous you," whined James. Sirius growled at him.

"You said you weren't even going to try anything with her this year," Sirius said as he threw his hands up in surrender. "I don't understand why my not being on my best behavior has any effect on you and your non-relationship."

James looked around to see a few people looking at them curiously, but he was quickly beginning to lose his temper. He went to stalk off toward the dorms, but Sirius grabbed his arm to make James remain.

"Sod off, Sirius," James growled.

"You're the idiot who can't get it through his thick skull that she doesn't want to be with you, the great and wonderful James Potter," Sirius growled back poking James in the middle of his forehead roughly. More than a few people had stopped to look at them arguing. "I'm not the only one who thinks so."

"So, what? You all sit around and discuss my prospects with various girls?" James accused as he gestured to the entire common room. "You're supposed to be my best friend, but you sit around chatting me up with Remus and Peter, I assume, and talk all about how James Potter can't get the girl. I thought you were on my side, Sirius, but I see I was mistaken."

"Where are you going, Potter?" Sirius yelled as James walked away. "This isn't finished, and the sooner that you realize she's not going to ever be into you, the happier you will be. The happier we will all be!"

"I've patrol to do," James shouted back as he slammed the portrait hole. He stood outside of the portrait, breathless from adrenaline and half hoping that Sirius would chase after him. James waited as long as his pride would let him before he stormed down the hall. Every person he encountered in the corridors was given detention. Normally he'd give them a wink and a warning, but tonight he was feeling particularly vengeful. He knew Filch would have fun with the twenty or so students that he deducted points from and gave detention.

"Ah, Potter," a voice drawled from behind him. James spun around to see Severus Snape standing there, his black hair hanging bone straight like midnight curtain around a pasty white face. James made a face, his already short fuse shortening more.

"Snape, out for a night stroll?" asked James as he glared at the man he loathed with all his being, and he did. James hated Severus since the first time he laid eyes on him. More so than he had ever hated Lucius Malfoy, and he had inherited that hate from his father.

"Patrolling, same as you I suppose, though I've never seen you actually patrol," Severus said coolly, a smirk curled on his lips. "But the detention board doesn't lie, does it? Twenty three detentions, impressive for a single night of patrolling. Do you think Lily will be impressed and finally confess an undying love for you?"

"This isn't about Lily," James growled as he knew well and good that it was always about Lily, and it always would be about Lily. James' face was red, though from anger or embarrassment on being called out by Snape was unknown.

"Don't you think you should get the hint?" Severus asked with a cruel smile twisted on his face.

"You ought to mind your own business," James said as he ran his hand though his hair. "And speaking of Lily, since you brought her up, don't you think it is odd that you, her proclaimed best friend, didn't even show up at her parents' funeral."

"My reasons are between Lily and myself," Severus said slowly as his eyes flashed with warning. "Don't think that just because you attended a funeral and had a few civil conversations with her that all of a sudden you know more than I do about her."

"I just think it's a bit sorry of you," James said as he turned his back on Severus and continued down the hall. James felt the sting of a silent curse hit his back, sending him into a suit of armor. James jumped up, wiping the blood from his mouth and turned, his wand raised.

"Never turn your back on your enemy, Potter," Severus taunted in warning from where he stood. James threw his disarming spell at Severus but Severus blocked it with a shield charm. Back and forth, the two of them shot spells at each other until Professor McGonagall came to investigate what all the commotion was in the corridor.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape," Professor McGonagall said shrilly. "I'm outraged! The head boy and a prefect, battling in the halls like a bunch of barbarians. Detention for a week, both of you, and now get back to your dorms."

James wasn't greeted by cheers when he entered the common room, but by silence. The party had broken up shortly after he had left and all but a few had headed off to bed. James was grateful to find Sirius had already drawn the drapes around his bed. James didn't care to talk to him quite yet. Remus was already asleep, having needed so much rest after a full moon and a Quidditch match. Peter was sitting on the edge of his bed, slowly removing his sock and shoes.

"What?" James barked at him as Peter opened his mouth to say something.

"N-nothing," Peter said as he tossed his shirt aside and climbed under his covers. James was certain her heard a swear word from behind Sirius' bed drapes. James pulled his clothes off and climbed under his own covers. He had been wrong and he knew it, but for the moment, his pride kept him from apologizing to Peter… or to Sirius. He resolved to apologize in the morning and to Remus too, because he knew he was being a jerk to them. He didn't know why he was, but he knew he was.

James found himself alone in his room when he woke the next morning. No one thought to wake him for breakfast and he sprinted down to the great hall. He took his regular seat with them but they said nothing to each other. Gone were the loud, rude greetings of four carefree brothers. Alice and Lily looked at him questioningly, but they didn't ask. James knew that the girls chalked it up the boys being boys. To be honest, he wasn't sure why they weren't talking. They have had fights before in the past, but never have they ever not talked to each other. It was childish, but none wanted to be the first to break the silence. It would be seen as defeat.

"See you later then, James?" Lily asked as she rose from the table. James looked up and nodded before he remembered that he wasn't pulling a silent treatment on Lily. He had waited too long too verbally reply, so he kept silent. "Right-o, anyways. Have a good day, boys. Enjoy the weather while it holds out." Lily scooped up a bunch of old, leather bound library books the size of tablets and struggle to shove them under her arm. They looked heavy, and he wondered silently if she needed or wanted help carrying them. He nearly stood but caught Sirius scowling at him.

James watched her and Alice leave together, their heads together whispering. Lily giggled at something Alice had said and looked back at James. He swore he saw her blush. He quickly looked down at his food, wanting to hide his inexplicable shame. Sirius didn't say anything to James as he rose to leave, nor did Sirius say anything to Remus. Peter looked up at Sirius.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Peter asked hopefully as he rose. Sirius glanced at James for a moment then nodded.

"Right, come on," Sirius said as he continued out of the great hall. James looked at Remus but he was already rising to leave.

"Is this how it's going to be?" James asked Remus helplessly lost. Remus looked at James startled that James had broken the silence.

"I… I don't know," Remus said slowly. Remus glanced at the doors to the great hall. "Perhaps we can talk later, James. I have to visit the hospital wing for a pepper-up potion. I'm still feeling a bit peaky."

"Alright then," James said as he watched his second best friend exit through the great hall doors. He absentmindedly looked over at the Slytherin table to see Severus and a few of his friends laughing at him. Anger and resentment boiled with in him, but he remained calm and in his seat, his wand safely put away. The last thing he needed was to get yet another detention.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews. I hope that this confuses and delights each and every one of you. Because I made you all wait an entire weekend, I am releasing this back to back to chapter five. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Just maiming the characters a bit… for my own evil plan. (J/K… they'll be fine!)

Chapter Six

Lily pulled on her white camisole, her jeans were already buttoned. She shivered and she pulled on her sweatshirt. It was getting cooler now, certainly, and she could feel it all over the castle. Her tennis shoes were soundless as she walked down the stairs from the girls dormitories, heading to breakfast. She joined the other kids queuing to leave the common room for breakfast. She wasn't in any hurry to get to there.

She felt like she had been researching forever, though she felt no closer to any answers. She had nearly been late for the Quidditch match because of her research. Then there was the meeting with Professor Dumbledore. It was a measly few hours before, but the stress of the importance made Lily feel as if she were carrying a ten pound weight at the end of each limb. She had agreed to his request, though she didn't understand why he asked her.

_"Lily, you're trust worthy and you will accomplish it easily," Professor Dumbledore had said as she sat in his office the day before._

_"He's not going to tell me that information," Lily said shaking her head._

_"You underestimate what a little potion can do to tip the scales," Professor Dumbledore said as he winked at her. "You are imaginative, Lily. I know that you can do this."_

Lily had sprinted to the pitch, barely making it to her seat before the teams came out. She was happy that she had, because it wouldn't have been forgivable if the head girl had missed her house team's big win. She watched James closely, never realizing how determined he could look when he wanted something. Lily had laughed. She should know that look. He always wore it when he asked her out.

Lily shook her head of the previous day's events. Today was today, and she was starved. The great hall was in its normal uproar, the students eating and chatting merrily. The enchanted ceiling was a whirl with wind and gray clouds, and for once Lily was glad she didn't need to go outside. She huddled deeper in her sweat shirt; brushing her hair behind her shoulder and continued to walk between the tables. Her eyes fell on the Marauders, who were looking like a right sad bunch of boys. Lily took her place beside Alice, glancing at Remus and James as she sat down.

"Are we still on for tutoring today?" Lily asked as she broke the silence that seemed to have built up stone walls around the boys. James looked over at her with a confused look on his face. He seemed a million miles away, lost in a sea of his own thoughts.

"Yeah, why wouldn't we?" James asked as he glanced at his watch. He jumped up in a panic. "We're going to be late."

"Late for what?" asked Lily as James pulled her by the hand to her feet. "I've just sat down for breakfast."

"McGonagall asked to see us at eight. It's already ten after eight," James said as he forced a stack of toast in Lily's hand and pulled her by the hand from the great hall.

"I can't believe she told you and not me," Lily said before shoving a piece of toast in her mouth. Lily wished she had something to wash it down with, but she resolved that she wouldn't be a minute later than they already were.

"Well, I was the first person she ran into this morning," James said as they stopped at Professor McGonagall's office door. Lily knocked on the door. The Professor opened the door, and had them enter. Lily glanced down at the slices of toast still in her hands. She slipped them into James' pocket when Professor McGonagall turned her back on them. James shot her a look, but he grinned.

"I'm glad to see that telling James hasn't made you too late," Professor McGonagall said as she gestured to the two seats. James sat down once Lily had taken a seat.

"Professor, sorry," Lily said quickly. "If I'd only known sooner, we would have been here on time. Or at least I would have been here on time. I can't answer for James."

"It's fine," Professor McGonagall said. "What I've called you here is about the morale of the students. I know that it may be hard for you to discuss it, Lily, but there are quite a many students who have suffered through what you've suffered through. I know with your N.E.W.T.S. coming up at the end of the year you are quite busy, but I think that maybe some morale boosting activities might really be in order."Lily looked away quickly, catching herself before she said anything.

"For all?" James asked quickly. "So not to single out anyone student?"

"Yes," Professor McGonagall said. Lily frowned. She didn't really need to get involved in any more activities, but the professor was right. It was difficult for her to even think about her parents, much less discuss it, but as the head girl, it was her duties to lead and to have others follow. Lily knew she had to fulfill her duty, even if it was a difficult.

"Perhaps, a festival of sorts?" suggested Lily slowly. She looked up at Professor McGonagall for guidance. "Maybe a celebration of life, to be celebrated on Halloween? We can ask Professor Dumbledore to cancel classes that day; the festival will last all day and lead up to the Halloween feast."

"I like your idea," James said nodding eagerly. Lily looked at James with a confused look. She wasn't expecting James to support her decision, but she knew she should have because he was a party enthusiast at heart.

"As do I," a voice said from behind them. Lily and James turned to see their kind headmaster standing there with his sparkling blue eyes. "It sounds like a perfect plan."

"And, cancelling classes?" inquired Lily sneakily. She knew that he would probably agree, if nothing more than to possibly achieve the goals set forth. Professor Dumbledore nodded.

"I think the other professors can surrender a single day of education for the greater good of the students," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. He looked to Professor McGonagall, who promptly nodded. "Then it is settled. Whatever you like, Lily, it is all yours."

"Thank you," Lily said with a slightly confused look on her face. "May we go?"

"Of course, of course," Professor Dumbledore said waving them out of the office. Lily and James left, James turning to Lily as the turned the corner of the hall.

"So, what help do you need from me?" James asked eager to serve her. Lily smiled and shrugged.

"I'm not sure," Lily said quietly. "Do you think you can get Sirius, Remus, and Peter to help? Alice and Frank will be more than happy to help us."

"Yeah, well," James said as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "The thing is… we aren't exactly getting along right at the moment. You're going to have to talk to them."

"That explains the awkwardness at breakfast. Well, in case you haven't noticed, Remus doesn't really want to talk to me much now either, does he?" replied Lily as she stopped to examine a miscellaneous painting of fruit. Lily kept her back to him, not wanting to show him how upset she was. She wasn't even sure why she was upset. Maybe it was the stress of yet another thing to do.

"Ah, well, things haven't exactly been easy for Remus this year," James explained. Lily spun around on him, anger and hurt scrolled on her face.

"And they've been a walk in the park for me?" cried Lily angrily.

"No, but," James started, startled. Lily stopped him. She didn't want to get into any kind of conversation with him right then.

"I'll see you in classroom B in the dungeons at half past noon, alright?" snapped Lily. She stalked off without saying another word. She needed to get away from the castle, but she knew it would be foolish to head off campus without her cape as the wind was really picking up out there and it seemed like fall had decided to head straight into early winter. She thought of going back to her dorm, but she didn't want to face them right then and there. She headed out of the castle and through the gate.

Lily shivered as she headed down the lane towards Hogsmeade. She knew she really shouldn't have left school, whether she was allowed to or not by head girl status, especially without a cape, cloak, or even coat but she was confused. She didn't know why she had been so snappy at James, more so than usual. Secretly she thought it might make betraying him easier.

Her fingers felt cold and raw; as did her cheeks by the time she had made it half way. She thought of turning back, but she didn't want to quite yet. She liked the freedom of being out there alone, even if the fall wind threatened to freeze her skin clear off her face.

"Ooh, close the damn door," a voice shouted from the back of the Hogshead as Lily headed in through the door. She was usually a more 'Three Broom Sticks' kind of girl, but she found the cheery atmosphere a little opposing of how she felt. Lily walked straight to the bar, not needed to hang her coat since she hadn't brought one. Sitting down, Lily watched as the bar keeper hobbled up to her.

"Are you old enough to be in here?" he asked her as he looked at her, peering at her. Lily raised an eyebrow at him. She bit back a smart response that was threatening to escape.

"I'm of age, if that's what you want to know," Lily said. He peered at her for a second.

"A'right, what'll you have?" He said. Lily shrugged, her arms wrapped around her body tightly for warmth.

"I don't know. What do you've have here?" She asked. He looked at her critically.

"I doubt you'd be suited for some fire whiskey, but butterbeer isn't going to warm you right well," the bar keeper said quietly. "You didn't wear a coat in, so I'd be fair to assume that you're cold and needing some alone time. How 'bout Liccoriliquor? It's warm and sweet."

"Whatever you recommend, alright," Lily said as she reached in her pocket. "So long as this covers it."

"No, but that's a'right," said the bar keeper as he pushed her tiny copper pieces back toward her. "I'm always up for corrupting the students of my dear brother's school."

"Your brother?" asked Lily as she watched him pour her drink in a small glass. He nodded as he placed it upon a napkin near her.

"My brother, Albus," he said. "I'm Aberforth."

"Pleased to meet you," Lily said as the seat next to her became occupied. Lily looked to see Sirius sitting there with a smoking glass of something blue. Sirius glanced at her but did not smile. He looked annoyed. He finished his drink in one swift gulp and shivered.

"Only you would go and make friends with a bar's man," Sirius said as he placed his empty drink on the bar.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked suspiciously as she took a sip of the liquid black drink in the glass. It was warm and sweet, like black licorice but not with that bite that licorice sometimes had.

"I needed some time to think, and don't hassle me about being off school grounds, ok? I'm not in the mood for a talking-to, alright?" Sirius said frustrated.

"I ought to give you detention, though," Lily said as she shrugged again. She nudged his shoulder with her shoulder playfully.

"But you won't because secretly you love me," Sirius said sweetly as he put his arm around her shoulders. Lily laughed, but didn't push him away.

"What's up between you and James?" Lily asked as they remained sitting next to each other. Sirius coughed and laughed in a nervous sort of way.

"A bit forward, aren't you?" replied Sirius. Lily shrugged and smiled. Sirius sighed, pulling his arm back to his own body. "Mainly, we are arguing about what we normally argue about: girls. Specifically you, this time."

"Me?" asked Lily surprised.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "James wants to try an all new approach by not chasing after you, but I tried to talk him out of it, tried to talk some sense into him. I told him that if you were interested, you would've dated him before now."

"You make a good point," Lily said smiling and nodding, anything to keep him talking. She didn't know if any of this could be useful, but she wasn't about to stop him from talking. Professor Dumbledore needed the information for his research, and Lily needed Professor Dumbledore for her own.

"But we both know the secret though, you and he and I," supposed Sirius as he lowered his voice. Lily leaned in, confused smile plastered on her face.

"And that would be?" breathed Lily, her forearms pressing into the bar and leaning closer to Sirius.

"You really like James, as much as he likes you back," Sirius said. He shot her a grin before downing the new glass of drink. Lily felt her chest expand painfully. If only it was that simple. She forced a grin.

"Ah, perhaps," Lily teased. She finished her drink. "Walk me back to school? I need to ask you for some help on a festival we are having on Halloween."

"Alright, sure," Sirius said as he tossed some coins up on the counter. "For me and Lily, ok?"

"See you soon," Aberforth said shaking his head as he watched Sirius and Lily head for the door. Sirius pulled his coat down off the hook.

"No jacket, huh? Take mine. We very well can't have the head girl freezing to death on her walk back to Hogwarts, can we?" Sirius said quietly as he helped her into his jacket.

"Thanks, Sirius," Lily said as the two of them headed out into the cold. "Sometimes you can be uncharacteristically sweet."

"What can I say? I can be a nice guy when I want to be," he stated simply as he shoved his hands into his pockets. They walked along in silence, Sirius kicking random rocks from time to time with the sound punctuating the silence.

"Why aren't you stringing along your long line of girls, or have you plum tapped out the supply at Hogwarts?" Lily inquired as they walked. Sirius kicked a rock further ahead down the lane.

"That's be your dear, sweet James' doing," Sirius said sarcastically. "I made a careless bet this summer, you should never try and race James to Surrey and back on a broom blindfolded by the way, and I lost, so James' terms have to be met. I can't chase after girls this term."

"Ah, celibacy through coercion, nice," Lily laughed as she brushed some of her hair out of her face. "And you plan on complying?"

"Sirius Black never goes back on a bet, or a promise," he said shrugging. "It's only for this term and it's giving me a lot more time to focus on what I want to do outside of Hogwarts."

"Which is?" Lily asked.

"Ah, well, it's still in the works," Sirius said grinning as he tapped his temple. He breathed on his hands to warm them; his thin shirt sleeves a poor protection from the gusty autumn winds. "So, this festival you are arranging. You said you wanted to talk to me about it?"

"Yeah," Lily said as she stepped closer to Sirius and offered him part of his jacket without a word to such. Sirius stepped inside, laughing as the two huddled together on their walk back to the castle. "So, we are doing this festival. If nothing, it is getting everyone out of a day's worth of lessons, but it is to boost morale among the students many who have had their families destroyed by tragedy in the past year or so. I was thinking medieval style and I know you have connections with things. I wanted James to come talk to you, but you two aren't talking, right."

"Right," Sirius said, his words suddenly cold as he reached forward, holding the gate. She walked through and waited as he rejoined her in his coat.

"So, I was thinking that we would all meet up in the common purpose room," Lily said. "Tonight, before dinner?"

"No, not before dinner," Sirius said shaking his head. "These things always take longer than anyone expects, and while I like hanging out with you, I'm not about to miss dinner."

"Fine then," Lily said. "Eight o'clock?"

"Can't," Sirius said. "I've detention, as do a great many people, because of dear James."

"Say ten, then?" Lily said exasperatedly. Sirius laughed.

"Ten it is," he said. Lily nodded as she pulled off his jacket and handed it back to him.

"Good," Lily said. "And thanks for the drink."

Lily walked off, leaving Sirius standing in the main corridor. She nodded at Peter as she passed and headed straight for the dungeon. For one who never ran late, she had barely made it on time. James was sitting in classroom B, waiting. He looked up at her while she settled her stuff, thankful she had the foresight to set up her tutoring lesson.

"You're nearly late," James said.

"I've been talking to Sirius for you," Lily said. "He says he'll help. So, I was thinking we'd all meet tonight in the common purpose room at ten.  
"Why not before dinner?" James asked.

"It just made better sense in the grand scheme of things," Lily said grinning. She opened the potions book and flipped through it randomly. "So, James Potter, what potion would you like to try first?"

"I get to choose?" asked James.

"From our potion book, yes," Lily said as she sat on the edge of a table near him. He looked at her, obviously tempted.

"Why are you helping me? It has to be more than you just sucking up to Slughorn," James said grinning. Lily rolled her eyes. "If it's not sucking up, it must be love? Right?"

"I don't suck up," Lily said jumping up from the table. "You'd think you'd be happy to spend some time with me, but I guess you really are over me." She tried to give him a feigned look of hurt that bordered on real hurt.

"What?" James choked as Lily turned her back to him. She headed to the store closet and began retrieving supplies.

"Anyways, since you haven't decided, let's try making the elation elixir again," Lily said brightly as she placed the ingredients on the table. "This time, take it slow, concentrate, and don't blow yourself up, ok?"

"Ok," James said as he opened the page to the potion she had mentioned from earlier. He began to work on the potion while Lily started lighting her own cauldron. James looked up. "What are you brewing?"

"Vertiserum," Lily said without removing here eyes from the book that Professor Slughorn gave her.

"I thought that we were brewing that in class in a few weeks," James said. Lily looked up from the book and shook her head.

"No, apparently the ministry has banned it for production by students," Lily said unable to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"So, you're breaking the rules?" James teased. Lily shot him a look and suddenly a plan to get the information she needed formed in her head, as if it had been there all along. It was perfect, a beautiful plan. She turned her focus back to the book.

"Oh, well Professor Slughorn has had me commissioned to make some specifically for the school's use," Lily said without looking up at him again. She pulled the long silvery white unicorn hairs and began to run her finger down the ingredient list. "I plan to use it on you."

"You what? You plan to use Vertiserum on me?" James asked. Lily glanced up at him momentarily.

"Yes," Lily said before she looked down at her own work. James continued to stare.

"What could you possibly want to know that I would lie about?" James asked incredulously.

"It's not about lying, James," Lily said grinning as she began to place her first few ingredients in the cauldron. "It's about the truth. Now get back to work on your potion." Lily refused to look up at him again; instead she focused on her own potion. She knew if he gave her one of his trade mark grins or even that cute, confused little look he sometimes got she would lose all resistance to James Potter. Lily couldn't afford to let a little thing like love get in between her and her research. That's what James Potter was to Lily. Distraction and a little thing like love. Lily was almost certain of it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I am just too excited to hold this chapter back, especially since I have to re-work eight and nine to be a little more understandable. So, on the heels of chapter six… here is chapter seven. Remember to review and tell me what you liked/didn't like.

Disclaimer: I am just borrowing the characters for a while. I'll give 'em back!

Chapter Seven

James checked his watch on his way to detention. He hated that he was going to have to spend an entire hour and a half or so with twenty or so people who were probably going to be very angry with him because in a fit of anger, he had given plenty of the detentions out to them. Severus raised an eyebrow at him as James walked in the classroom with a cruel sneer and for a moment James felt an urge to pull his wand. James took a deep breath and had a sat. Professor Sprout was there, her hat off centered and a smudge of dirt on her cheek even though classes had been over since four.

"Alright, are we all here? Good, off to the greenhouses," Professor Sprout said as she opened the door to the classroom. James looked up to see a nearly breathless Sirius standing there with an apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry I'm late," Sirius said as he walked into the classroom.

"Don't take a seat," Professor Sprout said to Sirius. James watched Sirius nod at her. "We'll be working in the greenhouses for this detention. Follow me, and don't think about slipping out behind me."

James looked at Sirius as they walked with the others out the classroom usually used for detention but didn't say anything to him. They walked in silence through the castle and across the school grounds, James hating that they weren't talking. He could feel his soul reaching out to Sirius, screaming to him in a lost sort of way. Sirius was like his arm. Sirius turned to James, almost as if her could feel James' desire to patch things up. Sirius raised an eyebrow in James' direction before turning and following the others through the greenhouse doors. James took his normal place in the greenhouse and was surprised to see Sirius take his seat across from him. Sirius shrugged nonchalantly.

"Alright boys and girls," Professor Sprout said. "Tonight we are going to de-thorn Bramble Nettles, and I daresay don't turn you back on them."

James looked at the docile little plant in front of him skeptically. He glanced up at Sirius who had the same look of amusement on his face. These Bramble Nettles looked harmless as house plants. James raised his hand, but it went ignored by Professor Sprout who had her back facing them while she handed out gloves and spades. She nodded at him when she finally came to their side.

"What plants are Bramble Nettles most related to?" James asked curiously as the plant just sat there without a care in the world. He didn't really care about the plants origins but hoped that by talking, it would snap him and Sirius out of this quarrel that they seemed to be in at the moment.

"Devil's Snare, of course," Professor Sprout said. She addressed the class. "And should you be bitten by the plant, there will be no potion to relieve your ailing. You may thank Mr. Filch for that."

"Of course," James said. He looked up at Sirius frowning. James sighed, knowing that being forward was the only way to handle this. It wasn't that he was scared, he just couldn't stand to be rejected by Sirius. Lily was one thing, he expected it from Lily, but if Sirius rejected him he would be devastated. He might even fly his broom off a cliff. He cleared his throat. "So, um, do you want me to hold while you cut or vice versa?"

"Are we talking again?" Sirius asked him rather standoffishly. James looked at Sirius miserably, as if he couldn't stand another moment in silence with his best friend.

"Not to sound like a complete pussy, but I hate when we don't get along," James said sadly. "You're the closest thing to a brother that I have ever had." Sirius grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"Maybe you two should kiss now that you've made up," Severus taunted from his side of the greenhouse. James and Sirius both shot him a dirty look but knew it was futile to retaliate quite yet. Professor Sprout wouldn't take kindly to the lot of them shooting curses here and there.

"What does she see in him as a friend?" Sirius asked James as he looked at the plant. James shrugged, wondering the same thing. "Well, it looks harmless enough. What say you? I'll hold while you extract."

"Ok," James said as Sirius hesitantly gripped the pot. "I talked to Remus and Peter. They're coming tonight to meet with Lily in the room of requirement."

"I think he needs to stay and hatch it out with her. I hate when there is awkwardness between any of us. Of course that doesn't apply to you and Lily, there will always be awkwardness between you too, but anyhow," Sirius said. The plant began to struggle back against Sirius. It suddenly turned from a docile little plant to a snapping, biting plant with long tentacles with thorns. It slashed and jerked at James, biting him on the neck and scratching at his face. Sirius felt the thing scratching at him through his sleeve. Detention couldn't have ended any quicker for the two boys.

"You're bleeding all over your shirt," James said as he pointed at the torn sleeve and the scratches along Sirius' arms. Sirius was scowling at James as he dabbed his handkerchief at his arm.

"So are you," Sirius said as he pointed to James' neck and shoulder. "Stupid plant. I hope that I never have that kind of detention again." James touched his neck and cringed. It wasn't a deep cut, just a stinging one.

"Well, I think we are running late enough. We don't have time to stop and get cleaned up, plus I doubt that anyone would help us in the hospital wing, since we got these during detention and not Quidditch," James said as they headed quickly toward the room of requirement. Sirius and James were quite familiar with the room, have found it their second year and spent many rainy days in there.

"Hello," James said as he walked into the room. Lily was sitting at a table in the middle of the room, her head bent over a stack of papers and books that she was working on. He had never seen such large or old books and many had sinister looking covers. One book seemed to be pulsating while another seemed to be bleeding slightly from its spine. Lily barely glanced up.

"You're late, but as you can see, so is everyone else," Lily said as she put the quill down. She looked up at James and Sirius and frowned. "What have you two done to each other?"

"Nothing, it's just an incidental of our detention," James said grinning as he brushed off her concern. He felt his chest swell with pride that she was concerned about him and his well being.

"We kissed and made up," Sirius said proudly as he slung his arm around James' shoulder. He was grinning at her. Lily sighed and picked up a box that had magically appeared on the table.

"Come here and let me look at that, ok?" Lily said as two extra chairs appeared. James and Sirius joined her at the table. James tried to get a look at the books that Lily was working on but she shoved her papers over them in a hurry to spread out her medical supplies.

"We really shouldn't have you look at them. Injury is part of the detention, I think," James said as he sat down and turned his attention from the books to the papers. Funny drawings and incantations seemed to be scrawled and crossed out all over them. It really stirred his curiosity.

"That sounds like something Mr. Filch would have thought up," Lily said as she unbuttoned his shirt quickly. James quickly tore his gaze from the papers to Lily, then he shot Sirius a look, a perverted smile crossed his face.

"Should I step out a bit? You do that rather quickly and well," Sirius joked. Lily glanced at him and grinned as she brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"I've had lots of practice taking men's shirts off," Lily teased as she poured some alcohol on a square of cotton. "It'll sting."

"You have had a lot of… OUCH!" James said jumping. He couldn't believe how much it did sting, and he momentarily forgot the smart ass comment he was going to make about Lily's skills as an undresser of men. Sirius laughed hysterically.

"Big baby," Lily teased as she blew on it to cool the sting and dry the alcohol. Sirius laughed again at James' scowl and she glanced at him. "Your next, Chuckles."

James watched as she gently touched his skin blotting up the blood and sap that seemed to ooze, the shivers that ran through his flesh. James looked at the way she made a little pucker with her mouth when she was working hard. He had noticed before, but with them being so close, he could readily see the most intimate details. James noticed that she had long, dark lashes that lidded her green eyes. Her eyes, though, weren't just green. James could see flecks of gold around the pupils that gave her eyes that certain sparkle. James felt light headed, as if he was a bit high, and a little breathless.

"Would you mind if I kissed you?" James said in a breathless sort of way. Lily practically fell back off her chair. She had this look of shock on her face, her mouth slightly open.

"I thought that you weren't chasing me this year," Lily said as she turned toward the table, hiding her face behind a curtain of loose hair that had spill over her shoulder. She glanced back at James, pursing her lips in disapproval. For a moment, James was certain he saw something else there in her look.

"I'm not," James said shrugging. He laughed nervously and stood, pushing Sirius into the chair. "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Must be the injuries."

"Don't hurt me. I don't want to ask you for a kiss either," Sirius warned playfully. Lily shoved him hard in the shoulder. James scowled at Sirius for making a joke. Lily laughed as Alice and Frank came in the room. Alice shot Lily a curious look as James quickly retreated to a window. James kept his back on Lily and the others, as he looked over the grounds. He felt foolish, his stomach clenched uncomfortably. He couldn't believe that he had asked her for a kiss and in front of Sirius no doubt.

"What did you get yourself into now?" Remus asked as he entered. James looked up, grateful for more people to pull the focus away from his blunder.

"Detention," Lily said stiffly as she looked up at him. James saw Remus' apologetic look to Lily, but he gave it too late. She had already turned away from Sirius, and was no longer looking at Remus.

James tried to pay attention to what Lily was talking about and to be a part of her plans for the festival, but he couldn't focus. His mind wasn't under his control. He was looking at her, certainly, and not in that vacant way he sometimes stared off into space with, but he was focused on the way her mouth moved when she talked. It was distracting. She grinned, looking at him.

"James?" Lily questioned as she made him look at her.

"I was paying attention," James lied. He grinned at her.

"Not to what I was saying," Lily said as she crossed her arms. She laughed. "I was asking you if you thought that you can handle the food and drink since Sirius can't be trusted with food."

"I am not some wild animal that has an insatiable hunger," Sirius defended which caused Peter to burst out laughing. Lily cocked her head to the side slightly confused, but she shook her head. James fought the laughter, knowing Lily didn't know about Sirius being a dog at will.

"I need you on games, Sirius," Lily said. She turned to James. "I need you to be on food detail."

"Can you say that again?" James asked.

"I need you…" Lily started.

"Stop," James said grinning. "That's all I wanted to hear." He crossed his arms and looked at her smugly. Lily looked at him in surprise. Sirius rolled his eyes, grinning at James' corniness.

"Um," Lily said quietly. Sirius kicked James under the table.

"Yeah, I can plan the food. All that medieval food," James replied as he rubbed his shin. "I can manage."

"Good to hear that you're on board," Lily said as she turned away from him. James made an effort to listen to her, but he failed. He would have to ask Remus later what she was going on about. He looked over at Remus and watched him a moment.

Whereas Remus had been tired looking just a few days before, he looked energized and eager. He was hanging on to Lily's every word and suddenly, as if hit upside the head, James had a realization. Remus liked Lily. James suddenly felt ill. James couldn't believe that Remus liked Lily in the same way that James liked Lily. James frowned.

"You look confused," Lily said as she touched James' shoulder when she passed by him. James tilted his head back to look at her walk behind him.

"Just thinking," James said. Lily touched his hair absentmindedly. James breathed in sharply, uncertain if she was aware of what that did to him. She obviously didn't, otherwise she would have ceased all touching and retreated as if on fire.

"Don't hurt yourself," Sirius teased.

"Anything you want to share with the planning committee?" Lily asked as she finally took a seat at the table, having worked off some of her nervous energy.

"No, not really," James said as he raised an eyebrow. He made another face. The more he thought about Lily and Remus, the more strange he felt.

"You look like you're going to be sick," Lily said concerned. "We should call it closed for today and perhaps meet on Thursday, if it is ok with your Quidditch practices."

"It's good," James said as he and the others rose to leave. Lily nodded.

"Good," Lily said. "I'll see you then."

"Good night," they called. James glanced back at Lily to see Remus hanging back from the others who were leaving. James felt his stomach clench painful as he watched the door swing closed, two minutes too late. The last glimpse he had of Lily that night was Lily putting her arms around Remus.

James waited up for Remus that night, not because he was a good friend concerned if Remus got in well but because he wanted assurance that there was nothing beyond friendship between Remus and Lily. He rubbed his forehead, the words of the book he was attempting to read blurring before him. Remus practically skipped into their dorm room, not caring that they had class in the morning.

"I told her everything," Remus said as he bound on top of James' comforter. James' book bounced off the bed making a large thud on the floor.

"Huh?" James asked.

"I told Lily about the Centaurs and the Shrieking Shack," Remus said in one quick breath. He was grinning ear to ear, his sandy brown hair hanging in his eyes. He brushed it away. "I stopped short of telling her the Marauder's involvement and what not, but I told her just about everything else."

"What?" Sirius asked sleepily from his bed. His hair was plastered to one side of his face from sweat and probably a bit of drool.

"I didn't tell her about any of you, but I told her the rest," Remus said merrily. "She was pissed as hell, naturally, but she could understand why I kept the rest from her. What's the matter, James? I thought that you would be happy that I apologized for my actions and that we are all friends again."

"I am," James said as he chewed his fingernail for a moment. He had torn the nail free, the quick was bleeding.

"Then, what is it?" Remus asked.

"Do you like her?" James asked quietly. Remus looked at him confused.

"Of course I do. She is my best female friend," Remus said. James shook his head.

"I don't mean like that. I mean do you_ like_ her?" James asked as he met Remus' eyes. James knew the answer before Remus said a word. It was all in the way Remus looked away.

"I mean, I don't know, you know," Remus said. "It's Lily. Our Lily."

"Our Lily?" Sirius asked as he sat up in bed, the covers falling to his waist.

"You know what I mean," Remus said quickly.

"No, I don't," James said as annoyance slipped into his voice. "Perhaps… perhaps you should explain it to me."

"Uh," Remus started. He rubbed his temple a minute, as if trying to rub the words into some sort of order that would make sense, be the truth, and not get him excommunicated from the seventh year boys' dormitory. "

"Alright, so?" Sirius pushed. Remus shot him a nasty look.

"So…" Remus started as he tried to figure out how to put it all into words. James had his arms crossed and he was leaning back away from Remus.

"Don't be hard on him, James," Peter yawned sleepily from his bed. "As cozy as Sirius and Lily were this afternoon, I doubt that Remus is your biggest competition."

"What?" James snapped as he looked at Sirius.

"You knew we talked," Sirius defended.

"You two were inside the same coat," yawned Peter as he turned his back to him. "It was rather interesting how you both must have been touching to fit under your coat."

"I made it bigger with a spell, and what was I to do? She's the one who walked to Hogsmeade without a coat! I couldn't very well let her freeze to death on the walk back," Sirius said.

"You were in Hogsmeade together?" James roared. "I mean do I need to worry about you and Lily too?"

"No, of course not!" Sirius said angrily. "You're my best mate. I'd never!"

"What about you, Remus?" James asked as he looked over at Remus with his eyes glowering.

"I like her, James. I really do," Remus said forcefully. He refused to back down.

"Well, damn it! I like her too," James swore. Remus lowered his head.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to me and Lily, James," Remus said. "That ship sailed three years ago. She doesn't like me like that, anymore."

Without another word, James watched as Remus climbed free of James' bed and headed to his own bed, a shell of the man he had been just hours before. He had always wondered if anything more had ever happened between Remus and Lily. Now James knew. Oh, what he wouldn't give to never know that at one time, even if it was three years ago, Lily had liked Remus as much as Remus liked her.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Ok, so this is so much better than the original chapter eight! If it sucks, then I am sorry, but I think its better. Thank you for the reviews! I enjoy getting them.

Disclaimer: I am just borrowing the characters. The plot is mine.

Chapter Eight

Lily sat down at breakfast, frowning. It had been a few days since their first meeting and they had plans to meet that night, yet here they were at breakfast and they weren't talking again. The boys weren't talking again. Lily shook her head, annoyed. They really were worse than girls sometimes! Lily had two weeks to pull together a medieval festival and with the boys not talking, that meant a lot was left for Lily to deal with on her own.

"Are they not talking again?" Lily asked Frank and Alice. Alice shrugged and looked to Frank.

"I can't say, sorry Lily. I wish I could," Frank said apologetically. "It's the unwritten code of secrecy I signed back in first year. Kind of went along with being the fifth and final roommate to the Marauders."

"He can't even discuss it with me," Alice said exasperatedly. "His own girlfriend, can you believe it? It's an outrage, you know. He shouldn't have secrets from me, should he Lily? I mean, come on Frank! You really won't tell me about it?"

"I want to, you know," Frank defended helplessly.

"Sure you do," Alice teased as she softened a bit. Frank certainly had a way with the sometimes high strung Alice. Lily looked over at the sulking boys.

"Ok, we're meeting tonight, right?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," grunted Sirius. Lily looked at James.

"Are you free, James?" Lily asked as she held her temper. She hated this.

"Yeah, I'll be there," James replied.

"Remus?" inquired Lily.

"Do I have to?" Remus asked. Lily crossed her arms as he looked at her. She made a face.

"I'm not holding a gun to your head, if that's what you're asking. I just thought you wanted to help a friend out," Lily said. She shrugged and gave him a mock depressed tone to her voice. "I guess I was wrong to ask."

"No, no," Remus said sighing. "I'll be there."

"Good, eight in the common purpose room, ok?" Lily said brightly as she stood. She gathered her backpack, a book barely containing thick books.

"You know, we call it the room of requirement," Peter said grinning. Lily smiled at him.

"That's nice, Peter. Why don't you come a little early and help me set up," Lily said quickly as she headed away from the table.

"Wait up!" Alice called as she abandoned Frank at the table and headed to follow Lily. Lily waited until Alice caught up with Lily. "So, Lily. Have you confessed?"

"Confessed what, exactly?" Lily asked as she raised an eyebrow skeptically at Alice.

"You tell me," Alice said devilish.

"I don't have anything to confess," Lily said. Alice shook her head in disbelief.

"You've had your face buried in very advanced potion books, don't think I don't know what you're up to," Alice said as she grinned at Lily.

"I've got no clue what you're flapping your gums about, Alice," Lily said grinning. "I'm not up to anything."

"You're a terrible liar, Lily," Alice laughed. "But, whatever, you know. If you don't want to tell me your little secret, that's cool. I don't need to know."

"Hey, do you think that this little attitude between Remus, Sirius, and James will last? I mean I have two weeks to get this stupid festival together and I can't have them acting like a bunch of babies about it."

"Not sure, really. I mean they all think that their side is the right side, assuming of course that it's about sides, you know?" Alice said as they headed toward their class room.

"No, I really don't," Lily laughed as she shook her head. "Once again, they're all conflicted with each other and I have no idea what is going on with them!"

Lily headed straight from dinner to the common purpose room later that day. She had been working on the booths and such all week alone. She had thought of asking the others, but with Remus just a week now out of his monthly change and the boys not getting along she thought she would get more done alone. She smiled at the work she had already done, pleased. Magic made things move a heck of lot faster. She probably could have done it all on her own just fine, but that was a lot of stress to put on one person.

Lily surrounded herself in a corner to do some studying and reading. She was so close to her ultimate goal, her research was promising, but she wasn't ready to make it public. She couldn't take the disappointment if she failed, and should she succeed, she would go down in history as one of the most famous witches of all time. Until then, she had to keep it quiet. Luckily, all of the work with the festival gave her the perfect cover for being alone for long stretches of time. No one wanted to bother her, should she ask them to assist in creating so they left her be. She used a corner of the room to surround herself with the thick books from the restricted section of the library, and a few from Professor Dumbledore's private collection.

He was a patient man, Professor Dumbledore. Lily still hadn't been able to get the information he had wanted, but it was of little concern to Professor Dumbledore. She knew she mustn't attempt and fail, and that had held her back from just asking the questions. Lily was just buying her time until she felt that it was right. Professor Dumbledore was a patient man, indeed. He knew what Lily knew, that things would just fall into place. Lily felt her pocket. The large phial of Vertiserum was there, cold even though Lily was warm.

"What are you working on?" Peter asked, startling Lily. She hadn't heard him come into the room, and she hadn't realized how much time really had passed. She looked at her watch. It was seven.

"You startled me, Peter," Lily said as she took a deep breath to calm herself. She flipped the book closed that she was working out of, marking the page with a piece of parchment.

"Sorry, Lily, but you told me to come early," Peter said with an apologetic smile on his face. Lily nodded.

"Yes, of course," Lily said as she returned the smile.

"You've done a lot already," Peter admired as he looked at the things she had done. "How are you going to get them out of the room, though?"

"A shrinking charm," Lily said as she gestured to the various rides that were no bigger than a hamster wheel.

"That's clever!" Peter said as he bent down to admire the Ferris wheel. Lily grinned.

"Thank you, Peter," Lily said proudly. She took a deep breath. "Look, Peter. I really didn't ask you to come early because I needed help. I wanted to talk to you about the boys. Mainly, I want to know what's up between them. One minute they're fine, the next their not. I feel like they are keeping something from me."

"I really shouldn't talk to you," Peter said as he looked away from the Ferris wheel and at her. "I don't know how to keep my mouth shut when I am around people that I should keep my mouth shut around."

"We're all friends, Peter," Lily coaxed sweetly as she gesture to a set of comfortable chairs that appeared by a fireplace that hadn't been there previously. They sat in the chairs, their knees nearly touching at the closeness of the chairs, and Lily gesture to the tea set that had appeared on a small table. Peter shook his head.

"I don't want to get into trouble," Peter said as he glanced around. Lily put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"You won't, Peter. I promise. Nothing you tell me will be held against you, or them," Lily said as she looked into his eyes. Peter nodded and spilled his guts, cleansing himself of every secret that he knew of himself and the Marauders. Every single secret.

"They, I mean you… you're animagi?" Lily asked with her voice no louder than a whisper. Peter looked like he was on the brink of tears; the world had been lifted off his shoulders as if he had confessed to Christ the Savior himself. Lily shook her head. "That can't be. James does excellent in Transfiguration, but that is pretty advance even for a seventh year. And you three did it in fifth year?"

"Yes," Peter said as his voice shook with unshed tears. "It was terribly hard, don't get me wrong. If it hadn't been for James and Sirius, I wouldn't have ever gotten it down right."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Lily asked.

"The less who know about it, the less that can get into trouble," Peter said. Lily nodded, understanding. It made perfect sense. He took a deep, shaking breath. "It's been so hard keeping it a secret, really. Do you know what it's like to hide something that big deep inside and never tell?"

"I do, actually" Lily said quietly. She forced a smile. "Don't you feel better that you've let go of some of your secrets?"

"Yeah, actually," Peter said grinning. "They really eats away at you, the secrets. I've never been good at keeping secrets, to be honest. I'm glad you're my friend, Lily."

"Me, too. Look, I have to go, Peter. There are some stupid boys that need to get over themselves, but I'll be back by eight," Lily said as she hugged him quickly. Peter, unaccustomed to being hugged was startled by it. Lily stood and headed to find the rest of the Marauders. She found Sirius first, waiting in line to get back into the common room. Some little first years were having a difficult time hauling their book bags through the portrait hole. Sirius was waiting patiently. Without the other Marauders, he wasn't as much as a bully and secretly Lily wondered if he was softer than he came off as.

"I know your secret Sirius Black," Lily whispered into his ear. Sirius turned and looked at her curiously. "I know the secret that could get you thrown into Azkaban and if you want to buy my silence than you will meet me at the Hogshead."

"Lily," Sirius called to her but Lily had already disappeared into the sea of students that were milling about on their way back from dinner.

Lily was on a mission. Spotting Remus, she sauntered up to him stealth-like and whispered into his ear what she had told Sirius. When Remus had turned to look at her, Lily had ghosted back into the crowd. Two down, one to go. James proved to be a little more challenging, but Lily found him off alone on the Quidditch pitch, having abandoned dinner in silence. Seeing Lily, he landed and faced her.

"I know your secret James Potter, and I recommend you come with me if you don't want to end up like your two friends," Lily threatened easily. It was an empty threat as the only thing that was happening with Remus and Sirius was that they were terrified out of their minds. James nodded.

"I knew this day would come," James said dejectedly.

James, Sirius, and Remus stood inside the Hogshead looking rather ill at ease, waiting. James and Sirius were better at hiding their uneasiness, but Lily could see that they were both nervous. James kept running his hand through his hair to the point that Lily was certain he was going to rub his head bald. She nearly laughed at the thought of a bald James but thought that now was probably not the greatest time for her to be laughing at him.

"What's this all about?" Sirius demanded as he ignored the cheers of old, drunken men playing exploding snaps in a darken corner. Lily raised an eyebrow at him as she slid in next to them in the booth.

"Why don't you tell me, Sirius?" Lily asked as she waited. Aberforth carried three pints for the boys and nothing for Lily. She smiled and thanked the now scowling man.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Sirius said quickly as he glanced hopefully at James. Lily shook her head.

"Don't try to look to James for answers," Lily said as she looked at him. She lowered her voice. "I know about you two being anamagi, and I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"What? No, we aren't," Sirius lied. Lily looked at James but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I'm not going to tell on you," Lily promised as she pushed the drinks toward them.

"There's nothing to tell," James said as he looked away quickly. He took a large swig from his pint and said nothing more. Sirius and Remus repeated the action.

"So," Lily said quietly as she touched the empty phial in her pocket. She took a deep breath, having waited a few minutes of quite awkward silence. "Are you able to transfigure into an animal?"

"Yes," replied James frowning. "A stag."

"And you too, Sirius?" inquired Lily.

"Yes, but I'm a dog" Sirius said nodding. "Are you going to tell on us?"

"No, but I should," Lily said quietly. James looked at her intensely and Lily blushed.

"So, the rumors about the map you made, are they true?" Lily asked directly as held his gaze.

"Yes," James said. "We made it in third year to get around the school. It really helped in fifth year when we were finally able to change with Remus and keep him company."

"What about the cloak? You have an invisible cloak, don't you? One that never loses its charm?" Lily asked quickly.

"Yes, just like me. How did you know?" James asked. She knew they'd know if she was lying, and she knew that to get some, you had to give some information too.

"Professor Dumbledore told me," Lily said. James looked at her confused.

"But why would he care?" James asked.

"I don't know," Lily said honestly. "He never told me why he wanted to know about it."

"You drugged us, didn't you?" Sirius asked suddenly, the light of realization crossing his face. Lily shrugged.

"Nothing that won't kill you," Lily said solemnly. She looked to Remus. "Do you really care for me like Peter says you do?"

"Damn, yes," Remus swore angrily under his breath despite holding his hands over his ears. Lily smirked.

"You can still hear me through your hands, Remus. It's part of your werewolf abilities," Lily said.

"Do you like Remus like that? Romantically?" James choked out though he was certain the answer would kill him if it was anything other than no.

"I used to, but that was a long time ago," Lily said. She shook her head. "I'm not here to talk about me; I'm here to get information, and to hopefully get you three back to being friends."

"Do you like James romantically?" Sirius asked smirking. Lily looked at Sirius furiously. The very question that she had been hoping to avoid had been placed before her.

"Don't answer that," James said shaking his head. "I want to know, but not like this."

"Look, James, I don't know why but Professor Dumbledore wants me to find out about your cape. He wants me to know where you go it, how it works, etcetera," Lily said quickly. "Will you talk with me about it, or better yet will you go and talk to him about it?"

"Ok," James said. He looked at her curiously. "Why did you make Sirius and Remus drink it if all you needed was information from me?"

"I had to be sure that you drank it, the others were just incidentals," Lily said as she started to trace the infinity sign on the table with her finger. "The easiest way to make sure you drank some was for there to be no chance that you hadn't drunk any potion."

"Isn't that a little underhanded?" Sirius asked. Lily smirked at him.

"I learned from the best underhanded boys I know," Lily said.

"Are there any side effects?" Remus asked.

"Random lying," Lily said. "You'll have to fight to tell the truth, but just for an hour or so. Stop being mad at each other, ok? You three love each other and there is nothing in the world worth coming between three brothers. Can you do that? Quit the silent treatment and be friends."

"Ok," they said nodding.

"And don't worry about the whole animagi to Azkaban threat," Lily laughed as she stood. "I was just using it to get you three together."

"Hey, do you want to go out sometime?" James asked boldly all of a sudden. Lily shook her head.

"I don't have to answer that truthfully, James," Lily said coyly. "I didn't drink any potion."

"Well, damn," James swore as he looked over at Sirius. Realization hit him and James jerked his head to look at Lily. "You didn't say NO! You didn't say NO!"

"See you three later boys, say eight for planning and preparation of the festival," Lily laughed as she stood. She placed the money for the drinks on the table. "Raise hell, and don't be late. Mr. Dumbledore, another round for the boys. They are celebrating the reunion of the Marauders."

"A'right, Ms. Evans," Aberforth said scowling at her again as he pour three more drinks, these without the addition of a truth serum.

Lily headed straight to the gargoyle that protected Professor Dumbledore's office. She whispered the password, the gargoyle jumping aside and allowing her to run up the stairs. Professor Dumbledore stood as she entered and smiled, gesturing to a chair in front of him.

"From your excitement, I gather you were able to get the information that I need?" Professor Dumbledore asked. Lily nodded.

"I nearly told him that I… well, it's not important. I got the information. That's the important stuff," Lily said hurriedly.

"If you will sit and rest a minute, I'll take a peek," Professor Dumbledore said kindly as he perched himself on the edge of his desk. "That is if you don't mind. Sometimes experiencing a memory gives you more insight than just hearing about it."

"By all means," Lily said. "I'll drop my guard."

"I do thank you, by the way, and I will keep everything extra I might see in there quite confidential between you and I. I know you have a reputation to uphold," Professor Dumbledore said. Lily relaxed and opened her mind to him, allowing Professor Dumbledore complete access.

"It's always such a strange feeling when you do that, Professor," Lily said warily as she rubbed her temples.

"One never gets used to it, I daresay," Professor Dumbledore said smiling apologetically. "It is as I expected. I believe that James Potter is, after all, in possession of one of the Deathly Hallows. I must be certain though. I'll need to see it."

"Would you want me to ask him for it?" Lily asked.

"No, not quite yet," Professor Dumbledore said shaking his head. "I will want to look at it, but he may need it for now. You have been a great help to me, Lily. Drink this."

"What is it?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Just a little elf made wine, my dear," Professor Dumbledore said as he handed her the goblet. "Normally I don't permit drinking in my studies, but today is a day of celebration. The day that life is celebrated."

"Thank you sir," Lily said as she pretended to sip it. She didn't doubt that Professor Dumbledore had her best interests at heart, but as many potions that were slipped into this and that drink, she was cautious. Especially after having just come from slipping a little something into the Marauders' drinks.

"And a word of advice, Lily, you should tell him," Professor Dumbledore said. Lily blushed but didn't press him for his meaning. She knew exactly what the Professor meant. Throwing caution to the wind, she drank the wine after all.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than previous, sorry. I am trying to work out the complexities while still being true to the story. I know a lot of you think Dumbledore is acting weird, and this may or may not help. Thank you to all for the reviews.

Disclaimer: Just borrowing it.

Chapter Nine

James sat at breakfast looking at her with curiosity that he had never felt toward Lily Evans. He had known her to be a lot of things, but he had never known her to be a party to spying. She had purposefully given him a drug. He wanted to pretend that it didn't matter, but in all honesty it did. For two weeks, it was all he could think about. Granted he knew that she didn't share Remus' feeling, and he nearly found out how she felt about him. Damn that honesty. He wanted to know, but he wanted to know it wasn't because of covert operations. She had to tell him on her own terms.

"You look angry there, James," Lily said as she speared a link of sausage off his plate and bit it. He made a face, which caused hers to soften a bit. "You know I love these things but by the time I get down here they're all gone."

"You snooze, you lose," Sirius said as he greedily hugged his plate.

"You're terribly mean," Lily said as she pouted. James sighed and tipped his plate onto hers, the little links rolling neatly as if they were little logs.

"Awe, you're being awfully sweet today," Lily said sympathetically. "I didn't know you were sick."

"I'm not sick," James said though at the moment he really wasn't feeling all that well. He thought that he knew Lily, and now he wasn't so sure.

"No, man you do look a little flushed," Sirius said as he placed his wrist on James' forehead. James ducked under it, scowling.

"You two ought to get a room," Remus grumbled. "You act like a pair of old married people."

"Look who's talking, Moony. You were complaining that your joints were all stiff," Sirius said playfully. Lily grinned at them. James watched her carefully as she ate and drank, each act seemingly as normal as any day. James couldn't help wonder what Professor Dumbledore wanted. He felt the paper crumpled in his pocket, stiffly poking his trousers. He trusted the old man, certainly, but he couldn't imagine what could have been so important that Professor Dumbledore sent the message with Fawkes at three in the morning. It was unexpected and James wondered why the man had waited so long after getting the information.

"James?" Lily asked as she touched his hand. He looked up at her, startled. "Are you sure you are ok?"

"I'm fine, really. I guess I'm just tired. I don't know why, but I didn't sleep well," James lied. He shrugged. Lily nodded, understanding.

"At least you should get plenty of sleep when you go home for Christmas?" Lily asked as she looked at him.

"Hopefully," James said. "But that is still a month away."

"Do you want to cancel today's potion tutoring? You could take a nap instead." Lily offered as she looked at him, concerned. Sirius looked at her.

"James' tough. He's not going skiving out on his tutoring session with you. Even if you are just practicing potions," Sirius defended. Lily shrugged.

"Ok," Lily said. She glanced down at her watch and jumped up. "I promised Hagrid that I would help hunt pixies. What is it about you that always makes me so late!"

"Hey, don't blame your lack of punctuality on me," James said as he watched her sprint out the great hall. He glanced down at her plate and stole back the sausages she had stolen. He grinned all of a sudden. "I'm glad she's running late. It gives me a chance to eat my breakfast."

"What's up with you? Normally you are all flirty with Lily and she has to beat you off with a stick. You practically ignored her. I think you hurt her feelings," Remus said.

"Really?" James asked. Remus laughed.

"No, not really, but you did ignore her," Remus said as he scooped some more eggs onto his plate. He began to shove them in his mouth.

"Nothing, really," James lied. He looked at his watch. "I am so busy, I should be enjoying this time. Tomorrow is Halloween."

"Think about poor Remus," Sirius said with mock concern. "Here he is a week from his monthly change, and he has probably put on ten pounds from his unnatural craving of protein."

"It's not unnatural," Remus defended. He made a face. "At least not for me, you know."

"We know," James laughed. "At least you change after Halloween. You are mighty frisky before hand, so we won't have to worry about dragging your carcass around to the various things."

"Please tell me that you got those monster sized turkey legs," Sirius said as he rubbed his hands together. James nodded.

"Naturally," James said.

"Good, because after I burn McGonagall at the stake I know I'm going to be famished!" Sirius said. He looked down at his own watch. "Speaking of, I have to meet her ten minutes ago. I should go."

"Please tell me that our little wager hasn't made you so crazed that you are going after our teacher," James pleaded. Sirius grinned devilishly.

"Well…" Sirius said wiggling his eye brows.

"Sirius!" Remus and James both exclaimed. Sirius laughed and shook his head as he stood.

"No, of course not. I wouldn't dream of going back on the little outcome of our race, which I think you fixed so you know," Sirius said. "Actually, I'm doing a little extra credit."

"You're turning into a nerd, Sirius," James said with mock shock. "What would Mother Black think?"

"Mother Black can kiss my back," Sirius joked. "Side, that is. I'll see you two later."

"I hate to do this to you, Remus, but I've got to bolt too," James said as he finished off the last of the sausage. "I'll catch you later."

"Remember, Lily wants to start setting up tonight, ok? Don't be late. Eight thirty, ok?" Remus called as James headed out of the great hall. James waved, signaling he had heard Remus.

A few minutes later, dressed in a freshly pressed shirt, James stood outside of the Gargoyle that guarded the stairwell to Professor Dumbledore's private chambers. James pulled the stiff paper from his pocket and reread it silently, only verbalizing the password: Pop Rocks. James had no idea what that meant, but it seemed to the trick as the gargoyle hopped out of James' way. James climbed up the steps, hesitantly. He had been in the office before, but only when he was in trouble. He'd been rather good this year, and hadn't been there this year.

"Come in, James," Professor Dumbledore said as James knocked on the door. James would have found this odd if it hadn't been for the fact that James knew Professor Dumbledore had been expecting him.

"You sent for me, sir?" James said as he entered. He took the seat closest to the door he had entered through, not wanting to go much farther than needed.

"Sorry about Fawkes, James. He can't tell time," Professor Dumbledore said. He poured himself a cup of tea then held one out to James. "Tea?"

"No, sir, thank you," James said quickly. "I've just come from breakfast."

"Naturally," Professor Dumbledore said. James hesitated but took the tea anyways. He didn't want to be rude, but he didn't feel like drinking tea. He looked at his books, rows and rows of book. "James, have you ever heard of the Deathly Hallows?"

"Yes, sir," James said.

"So you know of the three items? The stone, the wand, and…"

"The cloak, yes," James interrupted.

"Good," Professor Dumbledore said.

"Lily asked a lot of questions about the cloak for you," James said.

"I'm sure she did," Professor Dumbledore said.

"Then you know," James said leaning back. "You know that my family hails from Gryffindor, himself and from one of the three brothers."

"Yes," Professor Dumbledore said as he looked at James with a slight smile. "It's curious that you do not brag about this to anyone."

"No one knows, really," James said slowly. "Not even Sirius or Remus. It's not that I am ashamed, I am quite proud actually. I just wouldn't want it to change anything between us, my friends and me, and I know others would treat me differently."

"You think?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"I know they would," James said. "They would think that I was someone to be jealous of or something, and I just want to be normal. My father agrees that the fewer we tell, the better we will be."

"I can understand that," Professor Dumbledore said. "Has it been hard not telling your friends?"

"Surprisingly, no. We have enough of our own secrets to keep us entertained," James said grinning.

"The map and such," Professor Dumbledore said laughing. "Yes, I imagine that would be plenty enough on its own."

"Why'd you send Lily? I'd have told you all this myself," James said. Professor Dumbledore nodded. "You've never hesitated on asking me about my mischievousness before. In fact I remember a time in my second year you actually ran me down to get me to stop teasing the merpeople on my broom."

"I remember that. Such fun! Alas, sometimes love needs a little help," Professor Dumbledore said as he winked at James.

"She's not interested," James said looking away for a second.

"Are you so certain?" Professor Dumbledore asked. James leaned back and thought about it. She had, up until this year, been completely distant from him. This year, she was downright friendly with him. He had asked her out and she didn't say no. That had to account for something, didn't it?

"No," James said shrugging. He suppressed a grin. "This year, I'm not certain of anything."

"So, this festival," Professor Dumbledore said changing the subject. "The kids all seem quite excited about it."

"It's going to be great," James said nodding. "Lily's been working really hard. I think it's been good, keeping her mind off all the negative things she's been through."

"That's good," Professor Dumbledore said. "I do hope you have medieval muggle foods."

"Yeah, Lily had to explain to me what some of that was," James laughed. "We'll have plenty."

"Well, I had better let you get to your tutoring, since it has already been some time since you arrived. How time flies!" Professor Dumbledore said smiling at him. "Have fun and don't forget to learn, ok?"

James started working on a potion long before Lily ever came to the classroom. He looked up as she came into the room. She threw her bag down on the table, apologizing profusely. She was dabbing her cheek with Hagrid's handkerchief.

"What happened?" James asked as Lily pulled out a little hand mirror and looked at two inch long scratches on her cheek.

"Stupid pixies," Lily said angrily. "They're so nasty and vile!"

"So pixie hunting with Hagrid didn't go well, then?" James asked. Lily shot him a dirty look.

"No, not so well, James," Lily said snappily.

"Come here," James said as he turned the faucet on at the tap. Lily stood there next to him, impatiently. He dipped the handkerchief's corner into the water and dabbed at her face.

"You know, I can do that myself," Lily said. James laughed.

"It my pleasure, really, plus you took care of me when I got bitten by that stupid plant in detention," James said. James looked away from the scratches and into those bright green eyes with the flecks of gold. He felt his breath catch slightly in his chest. He tore his eyes away from her eyes and focused on the scratches. "I don't think they'll scar. They're not deep."

"Thank you," Lily said after a minute. He grinned.

"Anytime," James said. He could feel himself drawn to her like he had never been drawn to anyone before, even her. He shook his head; it didn't make sense to him either.

"Why are you this way?" Lily asked. James looked confused.

"What way?" he asked.

"You're so nice, no matter how many times I turn you down, you're right there, being nice to me," Lily said. "I've been downright nasty to you, and yet you relent."

"I really like you," James said grinning. He pulled away from her first, before he did anything stupid.

"I think I've turned you down a dozen times," Lily said apologetically.

"Actually I think it's closer to two dozen times," James said as he headed back to his cauldron. He shrugged. "I don't know why I keep pursuing you. Maybe I'm pathetic."

"Maybe," she agreed. He laughed.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Lil. You're supposed to deny my pathetic-ness and confess that you feel the same about me," James said. Lily laughed.

"Ok, back to potion tutoring," Lily said a little louder than she needed. She stepped closer to him, but no where nearly as close as they had been before. She peered into the cauldron. "What are you brewing?"

"The antidote for the Draft of the Living Dead," James said. Lily peered at the book and then the potion. She made a face. "What?"

"Nothing, only…" Lily said as she looked at him.

"What? What?" James asked as he nervously glanced in the cauldron. He had been working really hard on it, trying to get it perfect to impress her.

"It's really good," Lily promised. "You've done a good job, and without any help. I'm starting to wonder if you're really as bad in potions as you claim."

"I really am," James grinned as he stirred. "But, you are helping me be better."

"I do try," Lily said shrugging.

"Don't worry about me, Lil," James said grinning. "You can go work on whatever you're brewing over there and I'll call you if I need any help."

"Oh, um ok," Lily said as she turned and headed to the cauldron she had been working on for a month. James watched her curiously as she cleared it, knowing this second potion she had been brewing had, indeed, failed as well. Slightly disappointed looking, he watched as she pulled the folded up parchment from her pocket.

"You know, I really would make you quite happy," James said quietly.

"What?" Lily asked as she looked up at him in surprise.

"Nothing," James called out from his end of the classroom.

"Look, we have a lot to do with the festival tomorrow," Lily said as she pushed the parchment back into her pocket. "Do you mind if I just head to the common purpose room?"

"Go for it," James called merrily as he waved. "But you owe me a ride on the Ferris wheel."

"Ok," sighed Lily shaking her head. James looked up and watched her leave, a smirk on his face. He laughed. Just when she thought she had figured him out, he had switched it up and kept it unpredictable. He turned and looked at the potion he was brewing, thinking he had done a mighty fine job with the antidote.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: This chapter will be a bit different than chapters in the past. Previous chapters have either heavily one way or the other (either more from James' POV or Lily's POV). This chapter falls out of that pattern and in as Author Omniscient's POV (as of mine, the author). I am hoping it clears up a bit (but not too much). I know it feels a bit awkward, but I figure that people would kill me if I skipped the festival.

Disclaimer: Just borrowing.

Chapter 10

They all woke as they normally did; yawning and stretching, though this morning it was hours earlier that normal for the students of Hogwarts. It was just too exciting! None could remember ever being this excited for any school day, but this wasn't just any school day. It was Halloween, the greatest day of the year and the day of the long anticipated festival. While some were still sleepy, others bound around like endless bundles of energy.

Lily had been up for hours before dawn, preparing. She hadn't been surprised that no one else had joined her, she hadn't asked anyone to come after last night when they kept grating on her nerves. She liked to work alone on things she wanted done a specific way, especially when they were important. The others didn't see her vision, and plus they were sometimes too goofy to be contended with. She sat on the edge of one of the school brooms, overseeing her magic at its best. She had done it. She had turned the large grounds of Hogwarts from the rolling grass and sleepy trees to something straight out of the crusades.

"Wow," Alice said grinning as Lily landed. She looked around, trying to take it all in with her eyes wide. "I mean, wow. Really."

"Its not too much is it?" Lily wondered aloud.

"Oh, it's perfect. I feel like I fell right into the eleven hundreds," Alice said. She reached out and touched the arch she was standing under, as if entering through a protective castle wall into the market.

"Except for the rides and food and games, I tried to make it as real as it could be," Lily said smiling. Alice looked around.

"I know none of us has been really big help, but you are amazing," Alice said. She looked at the house elves rushing about, putting the final touches on the festival.

"Thanks," Lily said blushing slightly. "I just hope everyone else will like it."

Lily needn't have worried about the student body liking it. By ten in the morning, students from every house were running around, playing and laughing. There was so much to see and do that everyone wondered if there would be enough time to do it all. Lily leaned against the fence post, watching and cheering for two first years that had decided to try their hands at joisting on brooms. Lily laughed as one of the boys fell off the broom.

"You shouldn't laugh at the first years. It might give them a complex," James said in her ear. Lily turned around to see him standing there behind her, grinning.

"I was wondering when you were going to come find me," Lily said.

"A little full of yourself, aren't you?" James said raising an eyebrow. He cracked a smile, despite his struggle not to. "I was checking to make sure that the food had arrived where it needed to be."

"Have you tried this?" Sirius interrupted the two as he shoved a huge pink blob in between them. James made a face.

"What is it?" James asked.

"Muggle candy. That would be my contribution to the food," Lily said as she picked a chunk of it off the massive blob. "It's cotton candy. I know it's not really medieval but it is mighty festive. Try some."

James made a face and shook his head at her. Lily had already put her piece into her mouth, letting the sugary cotton dissolve. She swallowed and pulled off another piece. She looked at him, smiling.

"Open up," Lily said coaxingly. "I promise, it won't hurt you and you'll love it."

"It's good," Sirius agreed.

"There's not much that you don't find good, Sirius," James said skeptically as he hesitantly opened his mouth and leaned forward slightly. Lily placed the wad of cotton candy in his mouth, a few sugary strands clinging to her fingers. She looked at him expectantly.

"So?" Lily asked as she took another piece of cotton candy.

"Hey, get your own," Sirius said in horror as he pulled the cotton candy away protectively. Lily laughed and put the stolen treat in her mouth.

"It's good," James agreed. He grinned. "I can't imagine a better delivery service, either."

"I'm not feeding you," Lily said as she threw her arm around his shoulder. "You're too big of a boy for me to feed you. But I'm glad you like the cotton candy."

"Are you sure?" James said as he ducked under her arm. He shrugged. "Well, that's a shame. I see Remus and Peter, Sirius, so let's go say hey to them. I'll catch you later, Lily. Remember, we're going to ride the Ferris wheel later."

"Oh, ok," Lily said confused as James and Sirius walked away. Frowning slightly, she turned back to the joisting between two Slytherin third years that had better control over their broom.

"What are you doing, man? She obviously wants to spend time with you. Short of asking you, of course," Sirius whispered hurriedly as they crossed the main square.

"I know but I'm trying a page out of her book," James said grinning. He laughed. "It came to me a while back, but I never understood. Why do I like her so much?"

"She's pretty and smart?" Sirius offered.

"She is, but no," James said shaking his head as he snatched a piece of Sirius' cotton candy.

"She's the head girl?" Sirius suggested. James made a face.

"No, that would make me like her less, normally. The whole goody-goody thing is annoying," James said shaking his head. "Guess again."

"I give up," Sirius said as he snatched what was left of his cotton candy back. "What is it about Lily that makes you like her so much?"

"She challenges me to be better," James said simply. "I try harder because with her, I have to. But I've also learned something, the more she plays hard to get, the more I want to be with her. So, in my infinite wisdom of seventeen I've decided that two can play that game."

"You're playing hard to get?" Sirius asked frowning. "Aren't you afraid that it will blow up in your face?"

"I can't be any worse off than I am now, you know," James said. Sirius grinned and nodded.

"I get it," Sirius said. "Smart, really. So, where are Remus and Peter?"

"How should I know? I was just saying it to get away from her. Leave her wanting more," James said. Sirius shook his head.

"I still think this is going to backfire," Sirius said as Remus bound up to them. He was wielding a ridiculously large turkey leg.

"Have you seen the size of these things?" Remus said as he took a huge bite of the leg. "They're fantastic."

"I'm glad you like them," James said as he looked at Sirius, who was distracted with the last piece of cotton candy on the stick. "You know, you can get more."

"Yeah, but there is nothing like your first," Sirius said as if he were speaking of a lover and not a sugary treat. Sirius glanced at Remus, his eyes suddenly hungry. "Where in the world did you get that?"

"Third booth on the left, just beyond the Plague Pie-Throwing booth," Remus said. Sirius didn't even wave goodbye, just took off in search of the famed giant turkey legs. Remus laughed. "You really out did yourself on the food."

"Glad you noticed," James said grinning as they continued to walk. Remus saw Lily standing at the Feat of Strength booth, watching them. He waved.

"Hey, there's Lily. Let's go say hi to her," Remus said. James shrugged and grinned.

"You go say hi, Remus. I'm heading over towards the kissing booth," James said playfully pushing him. James separated from Remus, who made a bee-line towards Lily. She smiled but looked past him at James.

"Hello Lily," said Remus as he tossed the bone of the turkey leg into a rubbish bin.

"Hello, Remus," Lily said as she crossed her arms and directed her attention back to Remus. "Are you having a good time?"

"The greatest," Remus said. "It's all so wonderful."

"Thank you," she replied. She glanced to where James disappeared into the crowd. "Where was James heading?"

"To the kissing booth," Remus said flippantly. Lily pouted, which cause Remus to laugh. "You know, you can't say anything. You keep fooling around, Lily. He's not going to wait forever."

"Good," Lily said making a face. "I wanted him to move on a long time ago."

"You lie," Remus challenged with a smile.

"Do you want to share a boat?" Lily asked suddenly as she saw James walking back their way.

"Through the Tunnel of Love?" Remus asked as she grabbed his arm.

"I was only kidding, Remus. I know that ship sail eons ago," Lily said laughing. She released his arm but didn't move away from him. Instead, she looked at James. "I think I might go bury the hatchet with dear James, so if you'll excuse me."

"Ok," Remus said as he watched her walk up to James.

"Hey, James, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out together today," Lily said rapidly, as if the entire sentence was one really long word. James looked confused as his mind ran through what she had said and placed the spaces where they belong.

"Why?" James asked curiously. Lily shrugged.

"Because," Lily said. She nodded toward Alice and Frank. "I want that."

"You want Alice and Frank?" James asked as he drew it out a bit more. He knew what she was referring to but he figured she had spent six years torturing him. It was only fair to repay her.

"No," Lily said. She looked at him, her hand on her hips. "You're just too much! Forget it. I'll just see you at five, on the Ferris wheel, ok?"

James watched as she stormed off and for a moment he thought about chasing her. He shook his head. He had been chasing her for six years. She would have to do some of the chasing, otherwise he really was just pathetic. If she wasn't willing to at least meet him half way, he was moving on. He hated that it had come to that, and they would remain friends if they wanted, but he was tired of chasing after her. She liked him, he knew it, but she seemed resistant.

After joisting with Sirius, throwing pies with Remus, and even driving muggle bumper carts with Peter, James was exhausted. He knew he would sleep well. Checking his watch, he headed over toward the Ferris wheel. After his epiphany earlier when it came to Lily, he wasn't thrilled about having it challenged. Still, he had been secretly looking forward to the ride since he had claimed a ride with her. He knew she'd be waiting, and he was tempted to stand her up just to prove to himself that he was ready to let go of Lily Evans.

"I'm surprised you came," Lily said as James stepped next to her. He glanced at her briefly.

"Me, too," James said shrugging. "If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. I don't want you to feel obligated."

"Why would I?" Lily asked as she crossed her arms. With the sun setting as quickly as it was, the air was taking on a biting cold. Secretly she wished it wasn't her arms around her.

"I seem to bring the worst of you out," James said carelessly. Lily sighed and took the seat offered to her. James sat down next to her. Once the bar was pulled closed, the Ferris wheel came to life.

"Why do we do this?" Lily asked as the Ferris wheel stopped half way up, presumably to fill or empty the other seats.

"Do what, Lily?" James inquired as he looked out across the school grounds.

"Why do we constantly pull each other close then push each other away?" Lily asked as she put her hand on James' hand. He looked at her, startled.

"I don't know," James said shaking his head. He took her hand in his. Swallowing nervously, he changed the subject. "Beautiful sunset isn't it."

"What? Yeah, the sunset is very beautiful," Lily said. The Ferris wheel started again, but stopped when the two of them were at the very top. "If I tell you a secret, one that must remain between us, even up here, will you promise to keep it?"

"Sure," James said as he continued to watch the sun sink below the horizon. He looked up to see the newly exposed stars that were popping out of the darken skies.

"You have to promise," Lily said as she pulled her hand free of his. She looked up at the stars above, the twinkling with the rosy crimson sunset.

"I promise Lily," he said as he turned back to look at her. She looked at him, biting her lip.

"Even from Remus and Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Yes, yes," James said as impatience slipped momentarily into his voice.

"Hey, don't get snappy with me, James Potter," Lily said quickly. "I'm trying to open up to you."

"Sorry," James said nodding. "I'm all ears."

"So you promise, right?" Lily asked as she clutched his hand tightly.

"Yes, I promise," James said nodding.

"Ok, wow," Lily said as she took a deep breath. "No matter what I say, things cannot change and you mustn't tell act as if anything has changed."

"You know, Lily, you make it seem like you are about to confess that you love me," joked James. He laughed but stopped when Lily raised an apologetic eyebrow.

"Well…" Lily said shrugging.

"Gee," James said as he ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Wow, really?"

"Yeah," Lily said as she covered her face in embarrassment. "Oh, god, you know I fought it tooth and nail, too. I don't know when it started really, but I know when I realized it."

"When?" James asked.

"My parents' funeral. Seeing you there, supporting me like that made me realize what a wonderful man you are," Lily said blushing. She turned away.

"You know I like you, Lily," James said as he touched her cheek with his finger. "You know I have been crazy about you since first year and you know that I have liked you more since then."

"I know," Lily said quietly. "Nothing up here changes anything, though."

"Good," James said grinning at her.

"Good?" Lily said confused.

"Yeah," James said as he leaned forward. "It means I can kiss you without repercussions."

"What?" Lily asked as James leaned forward, placing one hand on her upper arm and the other on the back of her head. He caught her off guard, his mouth meeting hers. She was nervous, her stomach all fluttery, but she reluctantly let go of the control she had been maintaining for all this time.

It was unbelievable how much energy could be exchanged with a single kiss. She leaned forward, her body taking control and refusing to listen to the reason of her mind. He pulled back from her slightly, not wanting to go too far too fast. He smiled at her before he released her.

"It was exactly like I had imagined it," James said sitting back against the chair. He had a big grin on his face. He looked at her with a hopeful look on his face. "I know we can't change thing between us, at least not yet, but do you think we can do that again sometime."

"Sure, James," Lily said as she shook her head. She had her fingers to her lips.

"Really?" James asked as they returned to the ground.

"No, of course not, James. Our heads are no longer in the heavens, our feet are firmly on the ground," Lily said as she forced to keep herself calm. The bar that kept them safely in their chair was lifted and they released from the chair. She climbed out first.

"Lily, wait," James called. "Lily!" She turned around quickly, a hand on her hip.

"Nothing has changed, James. Remember you promised," Lily said. She turned to leave and walk away.

"I remember," James called. "I'll see you at our next potions tutoring session."

James crossed his arms, smiling smugly as Remus and Sirius walked up to him, their arms crossed and a look on their faces. They gave him a question look but were only met with a shrug and a smile. James strutted the rest of the evening, the secret scent of love caressing his sense. Whether she would admit or not on ground, Lily had confessed that she loved him. Eventually, she wouldn't be so hesitant and afraid to tell the rest of the word just how she felt, and James planned to be there to give her a victory kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** So, I hope that everyone is well and all are enjoying this story. I know I haven't really given much time between the release of chapter ten (this morning before 7 AM EST) and this chapter (this afternoon just after 2 PM EST), but we still have so many chapters left to share. To those of you who have read and reviewed, thank you for doing your part. For those who haven't, I guess you really don't like it (why not just say something…lol.) I have a bit of a cold, in case anyone cares and specifically to Mud: I'm noshing on Slim Jims and watching Dora, and listening to Youtube (and typing of course). Oh, and I swear if you review… I'll tell you a secret. Ha ha ha - goes for everyone!

Disclaimer: Just borrowing.

Chapter Eleven

It had failed. Lily stared at the potion with tears in her eyes. She was not used to failure, not at something she was great at, and yet, there it was plain as the nose on her face. A turned potion, not more useful than her collection of thimbles had been when she was a small girl. Worse than that, for the potion looked like boiled mud and smell of death, Lily felt as if she had really failed.

She knew she was done. She had three attempts to get the potion right. She had three golden unicorn hairs, like spun gold, and they were so strong not to be severed by any means she knew, but not strong enough to keep from being ruined by Lily's failed potion. She slammed her fist on the table and buried her face in her arm. She had failed Remus and he didn't even know about it. It was all just too much for her and Lily begun to cry.

"Are you ok?" James' voice echoed in her now stuffy head and she looked up at him. She had forgotten she wasn't in classroom B alone.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Lily said as she forced the tears from her face roughly with her palms. "How's the memory potion coming along?"

"I can't remember," James teased lightly as he looked at her with great concern written on his face.

"Very funny wise guy," Lily said as she forced her failure from the front of her mind and looked at the potion. It wasn't exactly the right shade of sunshine, but it was close enough. In the weeks and months that Lily had been tutoring James he had become better at the potion making, and even Slughorn had joked that he might be out of a job soon.

"What is that you're making?" James asked curiously. Lily put her hand on his shoulder, her face near his as she peered over his shoulder from behind.

"None of your business, really," Lily said as she squeezed his shoulder lightly. "It doesn't matter, anyways, because it failed."

"You failed?" James asked incredulously as he brushed her off and stood. He walked to Lily's small cauldron and peered inside. "Perhaps it is supposed to be that funny shade of brown and lumpy?"

"No, James, it's not," Lily said as she waved her wand and cleared the cauldron of the potion. "It is supposed to be a creamy white not a lumpy brown mess."

"I've never seen you be unsuccessful before," James said incredulously.

"I guess I am slipping in my old age," Lily teased weakly as she stretched a moment.

"Are you going to try again?" James asked as he touched her hair slightly. She found it quite soothing, despite what it could mean.

"No," Lily said. "I'm out of a secret ingredient I need and it's very rare. There is only one place I know where to get it, and there's no guarantee it's the right season for it."

"Well, I don't think that you should give up. If there is even a slight hope, you should take it. This potion means a lot to you," James said as he tried to glance at the books Lily was working out of secretly. He had seen these books before in the restricted section.

"You don't even know what I am making, James," Lily said as she pushed all of her books and papers to the side and sat on the table, putting herself out of his reach slightly more than she liked to have moved. She caught him looking at the books again and hoped the act of moving them would draw his attention away from them.

"You could tell me?" James asked, momentarily distracted from the books and focused on Lily. She laughed and shook her head.

"Fat chance," she said. His eyes wandered to the books again and Lily knew he needed a proper distraction. Short of getting him to drink his own potion, Lily could only think of one thing to do that would quickly distract him enough. She leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the mouth.

"What… what was that?" James asked as heat rose to his cheeks. Lily blushed.

"I don't know," Lily lied. Inside she felt her stomach twist unexpectedly. She couldn't believe she kissed him. Sure, he had kissed her just a few days ago but he had made that move. She couldn't believe she had been so forward.

"I thought you said nothing had changed. Hey, can we do that again?" James asked eagerly. Lily shook her head. She had done it, properly distracted him. Anything more and she would be seen as leading him on. She never wanted to lead him on, and if she listened to her body she would be do a whole lot more with him in the classroom alone than just leading him on. She blushed again, the heat rushing to her cheeks.

"No," Lily said as she quickly gathered her things. "I, uh, will see you later."

Lily bolted out of the classroom, books in hand as she retreated to her dorm room. Her face felt like it was on fire. She groaned as she tossed her books on her bed, thankful no one else was in her dorm room at the time. She closed her eyes for a second, reliving the kiss. She was horrified. She had never kissed anyone to distract them. Then again, up until this year she hadn't needed to. Up until this year, she hadn't been up to secretive things.

"Why is James Potter walking around with a stupid grin plastered on his face?" Alice asked suspiciously as she entered the dorm room. Lily opened her eyes and looked at Alice helplessly.

"Why would I know?" Lily lied as she busied herself with shelving the books on her bookcase. Alice put her hands on her hips and looked at Lily quite defiantly.

"What have you done, Lily?" Alice inquired. Lily couldn't meet her eyes.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. Alice looked at Lily exasperated.

"We're not playing twenty questions, Lily. I know that both of you have just come from your tutoring session and I find you blushing like mad up here and him grinning like crazy," Alice accused. "Do you want to tell me what happened, or shall I just make assumptions?"

"Oh, Alice," Lily groaned as she threw herself across the bed. "I just don't want to talk about it tonight. I have patrol later, and on a full moon at that. I just need to rest."

"You aren't getting out of this that easy," Alice said. Lily covered her face with her arm. Sighing, Alice nodded. "Alright then, we're done for now. But, just so you know, you're going to tell me soon enough anyways when it eats at you enough."

"I know," Lily groaned.

Lily remained splayed across her bed, deep in thought. Sure, she didn't give James much credit for anything, but he had a point. She shouldn't give up just because she botched another cauldron of potion. After all, wasn't Remus worth another trip into the forbidden forest? Lily sighed. She knew that Professor Slughorn would be in Hogsmeade tonight, despite the full moon. She could lie to Hagrid and tell him that the professor wanted her to gather more supplies.

Lily shook her head. While she was doing a fair share of evading as of right now, she had still never managed to lie well. Hagrid would see right through it, and frankly Lily wasn't sure he wouldn't check with Professor Slughorn. Last time, he had given Professor Slughorn a stern talking to about sending Lily out there on a full moon.

Lily glanced over at the coat rack and saw her hair ribbon peeking out of the pocket of her cloak. She bolted up right. The cloak! James had a cloak that would allow her to head out of the castle undetected! She sat back down disappointed. There was no way that he would ever let her borrow it without knowing why, and she couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell anyone until she was successful. There was no sense in getting everyone's hopes up if she was just going to let them down by failing.

Not wanting to stay in the dorm room alone, she headed out to the common room to find it deserted. She glanced at the large clock. It was dinner time, so all of the Gryffindor students were down in the great hall eating dinner. Lily glanced up towards the boys dormitories. They were certain to be deserted as well, especially the seventh year boys dorms.

Without a second thought, Lily bolted up the stairs taking two at a time. She didn't stop to knock, fearing it would take up precious time should anyone return. She stood alone in the darkening dormitory. She held her breath, the pungent aroma of dirty socks and uneaten food too much for her to bear. Covering her mouth and nose, she headed over to what she hoped was James' trunk and flung it open. She flipped through the layers of miscellaneous debris that covered every free space in the trunk.

"This can't be his," Lily said aloud as she held up a pair of knit socks with the Black family crest on it. She threw the socks back into the case and moved on to another trunk very close to the one that was obviously Sirius' trunk. Like Sirius', the trunk was quite disorganized. Lily was half tempted to iron and fold the mass of dirty, wrinkled clothes that had been tossed quite carelessly into the trunk. Shoved in a corner of the trunk was something shimmery. Lily's fingers closed on it and she pulled it free, standing. In her hands was the most unusual cloak that she had ever seen. She knew deep down in her heart that this must be the cloak that Dumbledore was so interested in. She shoved it in her back pack. She pulled on her back and turned back to the trunk to close it.

"Lily?" Peter asked as he looked at her curiously. Lily spun around to see Peter standing there, looking at her. He looked as if he had just walked in and Lily hoped he hadn't seen her steal James' cloak.

"Peter, hi," Lily said slightly flustered.

"What are you doing in the boys' dormitory?" Peter asked as he looked at Lily.

"I, uh, was looking through James' stuff," Lily said as she gestured to James' opened trunk. Peter hiked an eyebrow up at her in a way that rivaled James and Sirius in the skeptical department.

"I can see that," Peter said as he crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam. He had a smirk on his face. "But why?"

"I, um, was looking for something," Lily said quickly. She could almost feel the cloak in her back pack swirling around inside it, taunting her with her crime.

"I gathered that as well," Peter said. Lily laughed.

"Why are you so suspicious, Peter?" Lily asked as she slammed the trunk shut.

"I'm just curious as to why the head girl is poking around in the head boy's trunk while everyone else is down at dinner," Peter said. Lily started walking toward the door that Peter was leaning against.

"If I tell you a secret, Peter, do you promise not to tell anyone? Not even James," said Lily as she stopped in front of him. He frowned and looked at her suspiciously.

"Depends," said Peter. Lily sighed. Figuring she had to take a chance, she took a deep breath. Now was the time for half truths and stretching of said truths.

"I like James," Lily said quickly. Peter smirked.

"That's not a secret," Peter said. "It also doesn't explain why you are poking in James' stuff."

"I'm getting to it," Lily said impatiently. She smiled at him, regaining her composure. "I just wanted to poke around and see what kind of person James really is. You can learn a lot about a person from what they keep in their trunk."

"Really?" asked Peter as he slowly began to believe her.

"Yeah," Lily said. She lowered her voice and leaned a little closer to Peter. "Let's keep my little visit here a secret between you and me, ok?"

"What do I get in return?" Peter asked with a devilish grin on his face.

"You certainly have picked up a lot from Sirius and James, haven't you?" Lily said grinning. She was almost out the door.

"Yeah, so what do I get for keeping your snooping in his stuff a secret?" asked Peter. Lily made a face.

"What do you want?" Lily asked quickly as she glanced at her watch. Dinner was almost over and soon the others would be returning to the common room.

"Um," Peter said thoughtfully. He laughed and looked at her. "A favor, to be called upon at any time I wish it."

"Fine, done," Lily said as she headed down the stairs. "Just keep my secret and I'll owe you a favor, Peter! See you later, ok."

"Ok," Peter called as he waved. Lily glanced back up the stairs at him before she bolted down to the great hall to get some dinner. She slid into her seat, hoping that no one noticed her late arrival. She began to eat and tried to ignore Alice.

"Where in the world have you been?" Alice asked. Lily looked over at her, sickened at the sweetness between Frank and Alice, sitting there holding hands. Lily shot Alice a look.

"The dorms," Lily said. She smiled. Technically, she was telling the truth.

"Why?" Alice said. Lily hesitated.

"I was busy," Lily said quickly. She glanced at her watch. "I'm starved and I promised to meet Remus down in classroom B. I have like ten minutes to inhale a bit of grub."

"But isn't Remus like right there?" Alice asked pointing to where Remus, James, and Sirius were just a few people down. He had already stood and was gathering his stuff to leave.

"Uh, you know," Lily lied. "Official prefect business."

"That's right! You have patrol tonight," Alice said as she realized that it must be related. Lily was thankful when Alice returned her attention to Frank and off the lies that Lily was telling. Alice normally would see right through her, but thankfully she was distracted.

"I'll see you later," Lily called with her mouthful of food. Normally she would have swallowed before talking, but she was under strict time constraints. Lily ran full throttle to classroom B to find Remus impatiently waiting for her.

"You think you could push the time anymore?" Remus asked her. There was great annoyance in his voice.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that tone, Remus," Lily said through gritted teeth. "I understand how temperamental you get on the night of the full moon, so I won't take that to heart."

"I need the potion and I need to get the hell out of the school," Remus said. Lily nodded and opened the cupboard near the sink, a small cauldron bubbled merrily underneath. Lily ladled the potion into a cup and handed it to him.

"Be careful, Remus," Lily said as she headed to the door. "It's the last of it." The cup shattered. Lily looked at it in disbelief, and Remus looked panicked and horrified.

"What happened?" Remus asked. "What am I going to do?"

"You must have gripped it too hard. We have to siphon as much as possible back into a cup," Lily cried as she conjured a new cup out of thin air. The two of them worked fast, knees grinding into the stone floor. Lily looked at the cup.

"Is it enough?" Remus wondered aloud. There was only two thirds as much potion as had been in there before.

"I don't think so; I just don't know," Lily said. She checked her watch. "We're out of time, Remus. Drink it and go! Now!"

Remus threw the drink back and sprinted out of the classroom. Lily held her breath; fingers crossed, and hoped that there was enough time for him to make it wherever he went for his change. Lily glanced out the window; the full moon was on the rise.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _ I know that the pattern up until now has been bouncing back and forth between James' POV to Lily's POV, but this chapter falls out of that. Don't ask me why, it just does. Enjoy! Oh and don't gripe about the whole Severus/Lily thing. It's just there to explain some things and to build on the complexities of the characters. Thank you to those who have reviewed. I love it. Keeps it interesting for me, seeing how you all react to what happens to our favorite Potter Parents. Also, if you check the summary, I changed it up a lot. I think it is more intriguing, but we'll see if that drives up the numbers. Remember to let me know what you think, otherwise I won't know._

**Disclaimer:** _Yup, still just borrowing._

**Chapter Twelve**

Lily walked with Severus that night, the two walking in complete silence. Lily had her arms crossed against her body as she tried to hold herself together. Part of her was terribly cold; the other part was terribly worried. Had Remus made it before he changed? She listened, her ears straining to hear the sounds of a crazed werewolf on the prowl in the halls and corridors of Hogwarts.

"What's up with you tonight?" Severus asked as the two turned a corner. Lily looked at him, wanting so much to tell him everything.

"Nothing," Lily lied. Severus made a face.

"Is this about Potter?" Severus asked. Lily's face turned pink.

"Why do you always assume that it is, Severus?" Lily asked. While she hated to discuss James with Severus, being that the two seemed to loath each other like no other, she was thankful for the slight distraction.

"It almost always is," Severus said lazily as he caressed his wand between his fingers. Lily rolled her eyes.

"No, it's not. You exaggerate so much," Lily said. Severus smirked.

"I can't believe that you won't go out with me," Severus said quickly. His face had grown dark and Lily looked at him sympathetically.

"We talked about this that night, Severus," Lily said frowning. "I like you, I do. Just as friends, though, and nothing more."

"I don't understand why. We have so much in common. We grew up together, practically. I was the one who told you about our world," Severus said as his voice took on a whine to it. Lily looked at him, her hand resting on his shoulder comforting.

"You are my best friend, Severus, but the love I have for you isn't of the romantic kind. I love you like a brother," Lily said as Severus rested his cheek against her hand. Lily did feel bad for him. She knew the candle that he held for her, and she had tried to make herself feel the same way but she never was able to bring herself to love him as completely as he loved her.

"I don't want you to love me as a brother, Lily," Severus said sadly. Lily had to look away, unable to stand the tears that were welling up in Severus' eyes.

"It's the best I could give you," Lily said. Severus hung his head a moment, to clear his mind and the tears.

"If I can't have you, then I don't want anyone," Severus said quietly. Lily shook her head.

"Don't say that, Severus. You're a great guy," Lily told him. "You can't limit yourself to me."

"I'm just never going to do anything more," Severus said softly. "I would rather die alone, unmarried, and a virgin than to have anyone other than you. I won't settle for anyone. You're the only girl for me."

"Ah, Sev, please don't say that," Lily groaned.

"It's true, though," Severus said. "I haven't kissed anyone since you kissed me, and I never will."

"We were like thirteen!" Lily exclaimed. "Surely you would…"

"No, Lily," Severus said shaking his head. "I know you don't love me, but I love you and I know you know it. There is no other person that I would want to be responsible for my first, last, and only kiss."

"Is there anything I could say or do to persuade you?" Lily asked. Severus looked at her hopefully and Lily shook her head. "Not that, Severus. I'm saving that for my husband, should I choose to get married."

"Then no," he said quietly as his face fell.

"In case I didn't say it, thank you for staying with me that night," Lily said quietly as she took his hand and changed the subject. Severus nodded slightly.

"I wanted to be there sooner, but I was at my mother's own funeral, you know. Otherwise I would have been right there with you," Severus said quietly. "Apparently the Death Eaters decided to punish her because she married my father."

"Well, at least you are a half blood," Lily said teasing.

"What is it that you called me when we were little?" Severus asked. Lily made a face.

"You know quite well, the way you had it scribbled in your potions book last year," Lily said grinning.

"Say it," Severus egged. Lily sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You're my half-blood Prince," Lily said as if he had to drag it out of her. In fact, she loved to call him that. It was an inside joke. He was her _half-blood Prince_ and she was his _Lily of the Nile_. Quite corny now that they were both of age, but they thought they had been clever when they thought up the pet names back when they were ten.

"I miss hanging out with you," Severus said as he brushed some of her hair out of her face. Lily nodded and ducked away, putting some distance between them before things got awkward.

"The end of our final term is just a few months away. Have you any thought of attending the University with me?" Lily asked. Severus shook his head.

"My passion doesn't rest with being an Auror, to be completely honest," Severus said. "I think I want to teach."

"A noble passion, Severus," Lily said nodding. She checked her watch. "I hate to do this to you, Sev, but do you mind if I skip out early and you wrap up the rest of patrolling? I stayed up way too late studying and I want to head off to bed."

"You don't need to lie to me, Lily. You've never been good at it," Severus said slightly affronted. "You can just tell me you want to go do something else."

"I know, sorry," Lily said as she looked away. Severus touched her cheek gently.

"Is it with him?" Severus asked. Lily looked up at him.

"No, it's alone," Lily said as she shook her head. Severus looked at her and nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. Before Lily realized what she was doing, she kissed his cheek and bolted down the hall leaving Severus standing there with his wand in one hand and the other hand touching his cheek.

Lily yanked open her back pack and pulled out the cloak. It felt like solid water in the way it flowed against her hand. She threw it on over her head and headed through the front door just moments before Mr. Filch locked up for the night. Lily headed straight to the forbidden forest, stopping only long enough to strap her boot knife to her ankle. She knew she had to be careful tonight. She didn't have anyone looking out for her spark, nor did she have a weapon to protect herself should she need one.

Lily headed straight into the forbidden forest, straight to where the stream was that she saw the unicorns. She would camp out all night, if needed, to see the unicorns. It had been months since she was last there, and Lily knew that it was unlikely that the unicorn was still golden young. Still, she had to try. It took her an hour to find the stream again, and she wasn't even sure that it was the same one from before. The seasons were turning into autumn then whereas they were turning into winter now. There was already a thick frost to the air, and a light brushing of new snow on the ground.

Not wanting to startle the unicorns should they return, Lily pulled off the invisibility cloak and stored it safely in her back pack. She settled herself against the roots of a large tree and waited. In the distance she heard the long, mournful howl of a wolf and Lily silently prayed that it was a common gray wolf and not Remus on the hunt. She was sure that the Centaurs were on the hunt for Remus, and she quickly added his safety to the prayer.

Lily glanced up when she heard some rustling of leaves. She looked in amazement as a beautiful unicorn slowly entered the clearing, him and his horn completely silver except for the very tip. It looked at Lily with its enormous blue eyes and Lily's breath caught in her chest. Though it made little sense, Lily felt that this was the baby unicorn she had encountered earlier in the school year. It seemed to know her, showing no fear as it walked up straight to her.

"Hello there," she whispered as she stretched out her hand. The magnificent creature pawed the ground a moment, its golden hooves making scratching marks on the cold, dry dirt. It's nose was warm and soft in Lily's hand, and while she should have felt sad that she would not be able to harvest or retrieve any golden unicorn hair, she felt a deeper peace and contentment with the beast before her.

Lily petted the creature, eager to learn the secrets of the unicorn. It was a moment that she would remember for the rest of her life, she was certain. The creature froze. Lily could feel the cords of muscle in him become rigid. Lily glanced around, finding that the once noisy woods had become eerily silent. Without warning, the beast took off through a clearing, leaving Lily alone by the stream.

"Oh, well," Lily said as she looked around for her back pack. "I can't say that I didn't do my best."

Lily picked up her bag and figured that she'd get at least four hours of sleep if she headed back to the castle now, and she would get six if she skipped her first class. A low, thunderous growl interrupted her self-absorbed thoughts. Slowly, as if afraid to see where it was coming from, she looked up. There, in the moon light was a werewolf standing on its hind legs. It towered above her and Lily froze. Glinting in the moonlight, around the beast's neck was a small gold chain and a pendent. Lily recognized it at once. The beast before her was Remus.

"Remus," Lily whispered as she slowly began to back away. She was careful not to make any sudden movements. "Remus, it's me. Lily. Remember me? We were prefects together since third year."

The beast continued to come closer, its growl becoming more and more intense. Lily felt true fear of him for the first time. His bore his teeth, sticky saliva oozing from between and wetting his fur lined jaw. His long talon like claws scratched deeper in the earth, erasing the marks the unicorn had made. His eyes were trained on her, and they looked hungry.

"Please, Remus," Lily begged as she continued to back up. She knew she would never be able to out run him and she feared that he didn't have potion in him to suppress the aggressive wolfishness in him. "Remus, we kissed, remember? In our fourth year? It was during Christmas. Remus, please remember. We loved each other, remember? We really care for each other."

Without warning the werewolf pounced, its long claws digging deep into Lily's collar and shoulders. Lily and Remus tumbled backwards, Lily slamming her head smartly on a large, sharp rock with a sickening crack. Little white stars danced before her eyes, but Lily couldn't afford to lose consciousness. She held on to her thoughts, his snout in sight. Lily cried out as she struggled from underneath him, his claws deepening in her shoulder.

"No, Remus, no! You can't do this to me," Lily screamed at him as she struggled against the werewolf. He continued to snarl and snap at her, Lily's arm at Remus throat as she fought to keep him at bay. "Please, Remus, don't do this to me. I want to help you; it's all I have ever wanted to do for you. Please, Remus. Don't do anything you are going to regret. Please, Remus, please."

She continued to struggle, his warm, wet breath on face. He licked her face, but not in a playful way. He tasted the blood that had become smeared on her face. He breathed in her scent deeply. Lily struggled some more, figuring that if Remus was hell bent on making her a werewolf too she wouldn't go down without a fight. She punched him hard in the nose and kneed him in the groin. Even with him being a werewolf, the knee to the groin sent him whimpering and retreating back from her for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Remus," Lily whispered as she scrambled to her feet. She pulled out her boot knife, holding it by the handle. She didn't want to but she would use it if push came to shove. A furry claw came out of nowhere and collided with Lily's side, sending her back to the ground. She smacked her head against another solid rock. Her lungs screamed for air as she looked up at the night sky peeking from between the branches of the tree.

"No, Remus!" Lily screamed as the werewolf pounced on her roughly. His clawed paw pressed into her throat, threatening to suffocate her. She felt light headed and dizzy, his heavy breathing obscene in her ear. She struggled against him. Remus slammed her head repeatedly against the rock. She could feel the world closing in around her, she was losing consciousness. If she passed out, she would be defenseless. She never even thought to grab her wand; there wasn't enough time to even think about it.

"I'm sorry," Lily choked out as she plunged her knife into his shoulder deeply and turned it slightly. Her hand fell away from Remus and the knife, having passed out from the lack of oxygen.

**A/N:** _So this is where I leave you tortured and tormented until some other time, my dear readers. And though I wrote it, I went ahead and read the next chapter (that flows so easily with this one). All I can say is… wow… I am a tease for leaving you hanging like this… and what happens in the next two chapters… three chapters… wow. Hugs and Kisses!_


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: So with a show of hands, who's worried about Lily? Completely understandable!

Disclaimer: Just borrowing.

Chapter Thirteen

James rubbed his head, suffering from the worst headache he had ever had. He pulled himself up off the floor in the Shrieking Shack. Sirius was sitting next to him looking like he felt. Sirius was frowning, rubbing his head.

"What the hell happened?" Sirius asked. James shook his head and then wished he hadn't. The throbbing was unbearable.

"I don't know. One minute, I was standing in the room waiting for Remus and the next I was waking up here," James said as he held his head. They looked at each other.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked. They began to look around. Heading into the other room, they came across Remus sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his back to them.

"I've done something terrible," Remus said. He was bent over, looking at the dusty floor, and hadn't turned to them.

"What do you mean you've 'done something terrible'? Did you bite us? Because I don't feel bitten," Sirius asked as he touched his shoulder. Remus jerked his shoulder away.

"No, I didn't bite you two," Remus said with a depressed sounding voice. "But I might have… bitten someone."

"Who did you bite?" James asked.

"I don't know, but I think I might have attacked Lily," Remus cried.

"Lily?" Sirius said frowning. "How is that even possible?"

"How can you be sure?" James asked confused. Remus slowly stood and turned. He was human again, a knife was still shoved in the upper left part of his chest. Crimson blood was oozing around the metal blade.

"Oh my god! You have a knife in your chest," James shouted. Sirius and James ran to his side.

"Don't pull it out," Sirius warned as he looked at his friend in concern.

"I wasn't going to," Remus said crossly. "But that is the least of my concern. I could bleed to death for all I care. This is Lily's knife, her initials are engraved in the bone handle. I don't remember what the hell happened."

"We need to get you up to the school," James said quickly. "We'll take you to the hospital wing, have you healed up, and then we will have a little look in on Lily. I'm sure she is just waking up in her bed. We're just going to laugh about this. There is no way that you could have attacked her. She was patrolling last night."

"I hope so," Remus said though he was doubtful.

The three headed to the hospital wing where Madame Pomfrey nearly fainted from the shock of one of the students with a knife in his chest. She regained her composure and ushered Remus behind one of the curtains. She fretted and fumbled before sending for Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore. Both arrived within a few minutes.

"What in the world have you three managed to get done?" Professor McGonagall asked as she looked at Remus shirtless in one of the hospital beds.

"I wish we knew. We got knocked out early last night and Remus woke up this morning with a knife in his chest," Sirius said. "He thinks he might have done something terrible to someone."

"Who?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"I think I might have hurt Lily," Remus said remorsefully.

"Why would you think that?" Professor Dumbledore asked curiously. Remus pointed at the knife in his chest.

"This is Lily's knife in my chest," Remus said as he looked at it. "I have sat near her in potions for seven years. I would know her knife anywhere."

"I will head to the Gryffindor tower and talk to her roommates to see whether they have seen Lily Evans today," said Professor McGonagall. She left.

"As for the knife," Professor Dumbledore said. "I think the only thing we can do is pull it out and hope for the best."

Sirius looked at Madame Pomfrey. She looked a bit pale as she pulled out her wand, ready to staunch the bleeding after she pulled the knife free. She took a deep breath and yanked it out in one quick motion. Remus looked relieved when Madame Pomfrey stopped the blood and he was healed. She pressed a pepper-up potion into Remus' hand.

"Well, Alice hasn't seen Lily since dinner last night," Professor McGonagall said nervously as she headed through the doors. "And Severus said that he relieved her early from Patrol."

"So no one has seen Lily since then," Professor Dumbledore said as he touched the knife that was now resting on the tableside. Remus was already getting out of bed.

"If Lily's out there, bitten or not," Remus said. "I'm not staying here. I have to find her and apologize. If I hurt her, I will never forgive myself."

James shoved his hands in his pocket. The three of them waited in the great hall while the Professors rallied the prefects. Together they headed toward the forbidden forest to look for Lily. Remus was silent and forlorn, standing between Sirius and James. They all walked into the forest, calling her name.

"What the hell was she doing in the woods?" James asked. He shook his head. "It just doesn't make sense. How would she have even gotten out without being detected?"

"It might have to do with Lily raiding your trunk yesterday," Peter said quietly. "She told me she was spying on you to find out more about you, James. I caught her in our room yesterday during dinner."

"I couldn't find my invisibility cloak yesterday, but I'm always forgetting where I hid it," James said. He shook his head. "She must've nicked my cloak. She lied to you Peter. She lied to all of us."

"That doesn't change the fact that we love her," Sirius said to them quickly as he tried to hide the panic that each of them were feeling. "When haven't we lied about things? Let's just find her and then you can get on to her about your cloak."

"Do you really think you hurt her?" James said after a few minutes. He looked really worried. Remus looked away, ashamed.

"Yeah," Remus said. He refused to look at James.

"How can you be sure?" Sirius asked. Remus looked at him frowning.

"I, uh, tasted her. I mean I tasted her," Remus said looking ashamed.

"What do you mean you tasted her? What exactly does that mean?" James asked confused and slightly angry. Remus shook his head.

"I just get flashes from last night. I just remember the way she smelled, and she was bleeding…" Remus said as he turned away from James. He looked disgusted with himself. "I licked her face, tasted her."

"Lily!" everyone called out, looking for her. James, Sirius, and Remus turned away from their conversation and resumed looking for her. They resolved that they would have to find her, one way or another.

"If she is, well, you know," James said after a while. "I will still love her. I will still try to be with her."

"She has to be ok," Alice said as she walked with them. She had her arm linked with Franks. "James, tell me she's going to be ok."

"She's going to be ok," James said though as the hours passed, the doubt increased. Noon had come and gone, but there was still no sign of Lily Evans. James's doubt and worry became panic. At dark, they pulled out the lanterns and continued to look. At nearly nine, they came across the scene where the attack took place.

"There is blood everywhere," Alice cried out as they used the lanterns to survey the land. They sent up yellow sparks to say that they had found something. Professor Dumbledore appeared on the scene as if he had been there the entire time.

"So, this is where Lily was," Professor Dumbledore said as he picked up Lily's wand and back pack. He peered inside the back pack. Turning to James, he handed the bag and the wand. "Keep these safe for Ms. Evans, will you? And I think that your missing cloak is in there, too."

"Yes, sir," James said as he held the bag against him. He slipped Lily's wand next to his in his pocket.

"Fan out and look around," Professor Dumbledore said. They all started looking around. The more that James saw, the sicker he felt. There was blood everywhere, especially on the rocks. Remus, unable to go on, sat down on the one blood-free rock and starting crying.

"What have I done?" Remus cried. "What have I done?"

"You can't blame yourself," Sirius said as he looked at James. James threw his arm around Remus and held him tight.

"I'm some kind of monster. I should be chained in Azkaban or something," Remus wailed not caring if the tears and the crying made him look weak. "How could I have hurt her?"

"You can't control what happens to you when you change over," James said as he fought his own tears.

"It's not your fault," Alice said as she looked at them helplessly.

"I think, I think we have to call it a night," Professor Dumbledore said quietly as he looked out at the woods. "None of you have eaten and I think we would best serve Lily by getting you fed and into bed."

"I don't want to go back to the castle and I don't want to eat until Lily's back," James said defiantly as he held on to Remus. He hoped the anger and determination he forced into his voice hid the thick sound of tears that had begun to spill.

"She's fine," Professor Dumbledore promised. "I am sure she is fine."

Reluctantly, Remus and James pulled themselves up off the rocks and headed to the castle. The prefects and seventh years ate a quick meal and stood, ready to head off to bed. Severus headed over to them quickly.

"We don't want any trouble," Sirius said quickly. "This is not the time or the place."

"No trouble. I don't want any trouble," Severus said frowning as he shook his head. "Look, Potter, I know you don't like me and I have to say I don't like you either. This isn't about us, this is about Lily. Since you are head boy, you will hear something first I'm sure. If you could, please, just let me know. Lily is well, my best friend. I love her."

"Yeah," James said nodding. He barely made eye contact with Severus. "Of course."

The Marauders headed back to the seventh year boys' dorm and up into their room. James hesitated before he stripped off his shirt and pants. They climbed into bed but none were able to sleep. James pulled out her wand and twisted it between his fingers, it was warm and smooth between his fingers. It felt great to hold it there, as if he was holding a sacred part of Lily Evans in his hand.

"You have to be ok," James whispered as his eyelids grew heavy. "Please, be ok."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Lily stood looking around. She frowned, unable to remember what exactly had happened or where she was. She pulled herself into a sitting position and looked down at her clothes. Her once white shirts were covered in blood, but it seemed to have happened a while before. The blood was no longer bright red but had, instead, dried to the brackish brown that usually accompanied old blood.

"What the heck happened?" Lily grumbled as she touched her forehead. She tried to stand but smacked her head on the ceiling. "Where in the world am I?"

"Ah, you're awake," a high pitched voice said. Lily looked down at its source. "We were worried."

"Where am I?" Lily asked as the small man gestured for her to sit. He barely came up to her knee.

"You're in my house, naturally," he said. He stretched his hand out to her, shaking her pinkie "I'm Dimelo."

"I'm Lily," she replied. "Not to be rude, but what are you?"

"I'm a Key Elf," he said proudly as he puffed up his chest. "We're related to house elves, but not as domesticated."

"What am I doing in your house?" Lily wondered aloud. He frowned.

"I brought you here after that horrible beast attacked you," he said. "What in the world were you doing out in the wood alone at night when the lunar orb was full?"

"Huh? The lunar orb, oh, you mean the full moon," Lily said as she continued to hold her head, applying pressure where it hurt the most in hopes of squashing her headache.

"Yes," he said.

"I was out looking for unicorn hairs, special unicorn hairs," she said. "Colt unicorn hairs."

"It's the wrong season," he said simply.

"I found that out last night," Lily said as she remembered her colt was no longer a baby but nearly a full grown unicorn.

"Why did you need them?" Dimelo asked as he gathered up some herbs. He had his back to her.

"I needed them to make a potion," Lily said quietly. "That beast, as you called him, is my friend. I was trying to create a potion that would cure him of his infliction. I tried three times with the golden unicorn hair, and I was nearly successful, but at the end it went horribly wrong and turned."

"Noble, indeed, but if that beast was your friend, why did he attack you?" Dimelo asked as he handed her a cup of herbal tea.

"When he turns, he remembers nothing of his human life," she defended as she drank from the tiny cup. Instantly, her head no longer hurt.

"Better?" Dimelo asked. Lily nodded.

"Yes," she replied. "How long have I been here?"

"Two days," he said. Lily stood up quickly, smacking her head on the ceiling again. She sat back down quickly, rubbing her head.

"Two days! Everyone will be worried sick about me!" Lily said. She reached for her wand to find it gone. "My wand. Where's my wand?"

"They took it," Dimelo told her.

"They? Who?" Lily asked.

"The others like you," he said. "The witches and wizards who live at the big castle in the distance."

"I have to go," Lily said.

"Let me at least bandage you up and get you clean clothes to wear, ok?" Dimelo told her as he waved his hands around. Lily could feel her injuries being cleaned and bandaged under her clothes. Like magic, dirt and blood seemed to be lifted from the garments and the tears were mended.

"That's amazing," Lily said. Dimelo smiled.

"That's Key Elf magic for you," he said as he opened a door barely big enough for Lily to crawl out of. "Feet first, so you don't fall to the ground on your noggin."

Lily did as he said, her feet touching the ground. She looked at where she had just come out of in shock. She had been inside a tree, and not just any tree. It was the tree by the stream where she had been attacked. Lily looked at the tiny man waving at her.

"Thank you so much for keeping me safe, Dimelo," she said. He laughed with his high pitched laugh.

"Hopefully on the next full moon you'll be more careful," he said. "I hope that he didn't infect you."

"Well, I suppose we'll know at the next full moon, won't we?" Lily said as she shook the small elf's hand.

"Take care, and head straight that way through the woods," Dimelo said.

Lily knew with a clenching feeling in her stomach that she would have to face everyone, and that was going to be awkward. She shivered, wondering where her cloak had gone, the new snow crunching below her feet. She had been with him for two days and no one had known where she was. The sun was already coming up, and she was starved. She shivered, her arms around her body to keep warm, and she crossed the snow covered grounds. She glanced at Hagrid's hut, the swirling of smoke a comforting sight as she passed.

The great hall was warm and Lily was thankful for that. She sat down at the table, the great hall still deserted. She ate hungrily, wanting to go speak to Professor Dumbledore before she headed to the hospital wing. She was certain that he would have a lot of questions. She looked down at her food, ashamed. She had tried to help Remus and may have actually made things worse for him. He had attacked her. If she had only had some spare potion for him or even the cure, none of this would have ever happened.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up," Professor Dumbledore said as he stood in front of her, the table between them. Lily looked up in shock. She had been certain that she was the only one in the great hall this early in the morning.

"Sir, I failed," she said shaking her head. She wiped a tear away from her face quickly, as if ashamed to show her weakness.

"Failure would have been never trying," he said quietly. "In fact, I am very proud of you for trying. For as long as I have been a live, and we know that is many years, people have spoken of a cure, dreamed of a day when we were able to help our afflicted brothers. No one has ever come as close as you have come, Lily. I read your notes, and naturally have seen your formula there in your mind. Such brilliance, and I feel that in the right time it will be successful."

"I have to succeed now," Lily said as turned away.

"Ah, yes, young Mr. Lupin told me of the unfortunate encounter in the woods," Professor Dumbledore said. He looked at her carefully. "On the next moon, that will be the true test as to whether he has or hasn't infected you."

"The dungeon then?" Lily asked.

"For your own good, should you not change I'd hate to have you vulnerable," Professor Dumbledore said calmly. He looked to the doors. "I see that you're about to be bombarded by the affections of your closest friends. I hope that this is a lesson to you."

"Trust others?" Lily asked as she bit her lip. He smiled, his eyes twinkling like Christmas lights.

"I always thought you were far too cleaver," said Professor Dumbledore as the door to the great hall opened. Lily looked away from Professor Dumbledore to a group of rather sorry looking seventh years. Alice looked up, blinking, unable to believe her eyes.

"LILY!" Alice screamed as she pulled away from Frank and ran full force up the path between the two tables. Lily stood as Alice flung her arms around her tightly. Lily winced from the pain of her bandaged wounds.

"Alice!" Lily cried as the two girls held each other. She fought and lost the war on tears, Lily momentarily surrendering to the salty beasts that flowed down her cheeks.

"I thought you were a goner!" Alice cried as she loosened her grip of death on Lily. "Where have you been? I've missed you so much."

"In a tree," Lily said. Alice shot a look to the boys, worry on her face.

"A tree?" Alice asked slowly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"A Key Elf rescued me," Lily said simply. "He lived in a tree."

"Oh," Alice said surprised. Lily hugged her back and then wiped her eyes. Lily released Alice and turned to the boys. She flung her arms around James tightly, holding on to him as if she would die if she let go. James hugged her back, careful not to touch her much for fear of hurting her.

"I am so sorry that I have been stand offish with you," Lily said. "I can explain. I will explain. Soon, I promise."

"It's ok, whenever you're ready," James said. Lily pulled back and threw her arms around Remus, who was slowly slipping back.

"Where do you think you are going?" Lily asked as she held onto him. "You and I have to talk."

"Now?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, not now, but soon," Lily said as she released him. "I have to show you something."

"If it's about him attacking you, we already know," Sirius said. He looked to Remus, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Remus told us right away."

"You told them?" Lily asked frowning. "Why?"

"I trust them," Remus said still not looking at her. "James and Sirius are like brothers to me. Look, Lily, I'm so sorry. If I had control, if I could have stopped myself…"

"Shh," James said as he hugged Remus. Lily bit her lip and sat down. She rubbed her forehead gently. The drink that Dimelo gave her was wearing off. Stretching her neck a bit, she sighed.

"It's ok, Remus. I shouldn't have been out there unarmed. I was stupid. I need a shower," Lily said quietly. Standing, Lily nodded at them and headed out of the great hall. She stopped half way to the prefect bathroom, remembering she didn't have her wand. She would need it.

"Wait up," Alice said. Lily turned to see Alice coming towards her. Together they walked to the prefect bathroom. Using Alice's wand, Lily unlocked the bathroom and the two girls entered the bathroom. "We've been so worried about you. James and Remus were bawling like a bunch of babies when they found the place where you were attacked."

Alice watched as Lily slowly pulled off her shirt. Alice gasped at the sight of Lily's wounds as she pulled off the bandages. She looked away quickly. Lily, however, let her eyes fall on the lacerations and cuts on her body. She bit her lip as she looked at her body, frowning.

"Its going to scar," Lily said. Alice looked up, careful not to show the look of horror on her face.

"Do they hurt?" Alice asked.

"Some," Lily said as she turned away, removing the last of her clothes and stepping in the shower. Though Alice was just beyond the shower stall, Lily felt all alone in the world. She felt free to cry and mourn for herself, the shower washing away the dirt and tears.

"Lily," a voice called from just beyond the shower. Lily felt her chest clench painfully.

"James, you shouldn't be in here," Lily called as she wiped away her tears.

"I know," he said. "I just wanted to make sure that you're going to be ok. You've been through a lot, and I know you have to be worried about thing."

"The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not I'll be able to catch up all my missed school work," Lily said. It wasn't a lie. She refused to worry about anything else; it was all out of her control. She waited a second, frowning. "James?"

"Yeah?" he said.

"I'm sorry I've not trusted you with my secret. I just didn't want to have everyone know how much I have failed," Lily said as she shut the water off. She pulled a towel around her body and stepped from the shower. James had his eyes covered with his hand, Alice standing near the window and her back to them.

"Maybe I could have helped, though I doubt it," James suggested.

"You might as well look at the bullet you dodged," Lily said hesitantly. Slowly James lowered his hand and stared at the marks on her body. His face didn't betray his shock.

"He did a number on you," James said as he stepped forward. He placed his hand on her shoulder, ignoring the fact that she was only wearing a towel. "You are still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

"Stop," Lily said frowning as she turned away. She shook her head. "I've been terrible to you, James. You don't have to keep pretending to be so nice to me."

"I'm not pretending, Lily," James said as he crossed the room to her. "I really care about you. I really love you. Whether you change into a werewolf or not, that will never change. If you're too stupid to see it, then I don't know of anything I can do or say to make you believe me."

"I'm not stupid," Lily defended.

"In love, you are," James said. He kissed her right there, his arms circling her. At first, Lily let him, forgetting that Alice was just feet from them and with Lily in a towel at that. Lily turned away from him quickly, horrified at how close he had come to the truth so many times and how many times she had pushed him away. She frowned.

"You can't be here, James," Lily said as she pushed against his shoulders. He took a step back. "I need to be alone. You can't possible comprehend."

Lily walked away from him, not even looking at Alice or James as she began to pull her clothes on while maintaining some semblance of modesty. She knew that they were looking at her, almost worried. She could feel it on the top of her head as she continued to keep her eyes averted. She heard the door swing shut and she finally looked up. James was gone. She glanced back down, disappointed. She had thought, secretly hoped, he would be more aggressive.

"Lily…" Alice started as she reached out to touch Lily on the shoulder. Lily jerked away.

"Just… just go away," Lily said frowning. She pulled her shirt on, removing the towel and forgetting the bra. The thought of anything tight on her ribs stole her very breath. Lily spent an insanely long amount of time tying her shoes. The door swung shut again and Lily was alone in the prefect bathroom.

Standing, Lily looked at herself in the mirror. She felt anger and sadness welling up just below the surface. She stared at her reflection critically. Her lip quivered; as if hurt that she couldn't accept the body she was given. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She touched the scrapes from her battle with Remus, touched the claw marks in her shoulder. Remus had drunk some potion, so there was hope that he wasn't contagious, and he hadn't actually bit her. She was feeling… well, she didn't know. She was confused.

"I wish I knew," Lily sobbed as she covered her face. "I wish I knew what the right thing to do was."

Lily took a deep breath and wiped her tears from her face. She tilted her chin up, straightened her shoulders, and headed toward the Gryffindor common room in search of James. She needed her wand and her back pack back. Entering, she was overwhelmed by the amount of stares and whispers that seemed to erupt as she walked through. She had never been on that side of the gossip before and she thought it was rather embarrassing. She ignored the curious glances and stares of her fellow housemates, instead headed straight to where James and the Marauders were sitting with Alice and Frank. The cozy little six looked at her expectantly.

"I believe you have my wand," Lily said coldly as she kept her distance. Alice glanced at Frank for a moment before James produced the wand. She took it quickly, as if it remained between them it might kill her.

"Dumbledore asked me to hang onto it for you," James said quietly. Lily knew she should thank him, but the words wouldn't come out. She nodded once, stiffly, and turned away from them. She could feel their eyes drilling holes in her back as she practically marched up the stairs. Before she had the door closed, the common room erupted into loud chattering.

"What is your problem?" Alice asked rather roughly as the girls dressed the next morning. Lily still hadn't spoken to her since she had shrugged her off in the bathroom.

"Nothing," Lily lied. Alice shook her head.

"Something has to be wrong," Alice pushed.

"No," Lily replied as she slipped her socks onto her feet.

"You can't just sit there and lie," Alice pushed. "The boys think that if you talk about it, maybe you will quit being so…"

"Oh, _the boys think_," Lily said mockingly, her face scrunched slightly from her headache and a little annoyance. "That's a new one."

"Lily," Alice pleaded. "Please talk to me. You've shut everyone else out, including me. Please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it," Lily cried.

"Lily, please," Alice said as tears streamed down her face. "Please trust me." Lily looked at Alice, her eyes welling with tears. Lily sniffled as she looked directly at Alice. She blinked, her chest aching, and tears spilled down her cheeks. Alice didn't move, she just waited, not wanting to do or say anything that would cause an outburst from Lily. Lily's bottom lip trembled as tears continued to flow down her cheeks. She breathed in, a shaky sob erupted.

"I'm so scared," Lily sobbed. Alice crossed the room, throwing her arms around Lily. She patted her shoulder gently.

"It's ok to be scared," Alice whispered. Lily shook her head.

"N-no, it's not. It makes me weak," Lily sobbed as she sniffled.

"Oh, honey, no one's going to ever accuse you of being weak," Alice said with a teary smile. "You have been so strong, especially this year. No one could ever accuse you of being weak."

"I let my parents die," Lily wailed. Alice looked at her in shock.

"W-what?" Alice stuttered. "No you didn't. I was there. They were dead before you sent me out of the car."

"No," Lily whispered. "I put a spell on them to sleep. I saved you. Then I saved myself. It was me or them, and I chose me."

"Lily," Alice said quietly as she shook her head. "The death eaters…"

"They were after me, Alice. My parents were just casualties of their cause," Lily cried. "I let them die because I was afraid to die. And now… now I'm terrified that it was in vain. What am I going to do? I'm scared that I'll become a werewolf."

"That's understandable," Alice said quickly. "And your parents would have wanted you to save yourself, even at the cost of their own lives. It's what parents do."

"But the guilt of it has been eating at me," Lily said as her tears subside. "And now there is this new fear of being inflicted, and the anger I have for James…"

"Why are you angry at James?" Alice asked. Lily looked away, unable to face her.

"That stupid prat," Lily whispered angrily. "That foolish, arrogant, stupid git made me fall in love with him. If that wasn't bad enough, he got me to confess it to him."

"But Lily, that's wonderful," Alice challenged. "Now you two can really see where your romance will take you."

"Little complication here, Alice," Lily said as she took a tissue and blew her nose. She swallowed against the new lump that was forming in her throat. "How can he ever really love me if I become a monster?"

"He told us, even before you returned, that he loved you and would love you, no matter what," Alice said helplessly. "Unconditional love."

"There's no such thing, Alice," Lily said as she turned away. "There is no such thing as unconditional love."

"Yes, there is," Alice challenged in a pleading voice.

"No one could love anyone unconditionally," Lily said as she turned and left their dormitory. Lily barely glanced at the boys as she passed them on her way out the portrait hole. She thought of running to Severus for comfort but couldn't bring herself to do it. No one could ever possibly love her with such a furry little problem hanging like an albatross around her neck.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** _This is going to be from Author Omniscient's POV. Technically, this could be the end of the story… but there are a few things that still have to be dealt with, and a whole other term for them to go through. I wasn't going to release this until Monday, but with me not feeling well and not even TOUCHED chapter 16, I figured it wouldn't be fair. Enjoy, and review if you will. I will assume that if you do not review it means that you don't like the story. ___

**Disclaimer:** _Nope, still didn't create the world._

**Chapter Fifteen**

Lily was sitting at the table several seats down from James, Sirius, and the others. She was quiet, but she had quiet at meals for some time. James glanced down at her, watching as Lily randomly moved food around her plate. She looked odd. She was staring off into space, occasionally glancing down at the food on her plate. James glanced over at Sirius, who shrugged.

They had been watching her like a hawk, especially the past couple of days. The full moon had come so quickly, and tonight would be the real test. Tomorrow, they would all leave Hogwarts for Christmas. Either Lily was going to have a really good Christmas or she was going be one unhappy girl once a month. She sneezed, breaking James' train of thought.

"God bless you," he said instinctively. She looked up, startled as if he had shouted in her ear.

"Thank you," Lily said hesitantly. She put her fork down, shaking her head. She hadn't talked to Remus in a month, she had been skipping patrols, and she had been spending an unhealthy amount of time in the room of requirement, alone.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" James asked suddenly. He hadn't exactly been keeping his distance, he had just backed down. Everyone had. It was as if she were a fragile egg, and they were waiting for tonight. Tonight the shell would come off and either she'd be a human or she'd be a werewolf.

"Uh," Lily said. James felt like shaking her. He had told her that he would love her no matter what, and yet he still hadn't been able to get through to her.

"What's one walk?" James asked. He could see her playing the scenarios out in her head.

"I'd rather not, I think it'd be a bad idea," Lily said quietly. She pushed her plate away and stood.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked quickly.

"I'm not going to do anything stupid," Lily said as she looked away from her friends with shame written on her face.

"I know," Alice said. "Do you want company?"

"I…no," Lily said finally. They could feel it, the reaching out she tried to do but wouldn't follow through. They knew she wanted help, she needed a friend, but her fear consumed her until she became the shell of girl she now was. Alice looked to Remus and James as Lily walked towards the exit door. The great hall's ceiling was a perfect setting for a rather cold, cruel day.

Lily didn't think much of where she was going, she just allowed her feet to carry her where they would. She found herself sitting on a bench in the courtyard. She rested her elbows on her knees and bent over to study the snow beetles that were walking around carelessly. She didn't look up at the person who joined her on the bench.

"Even though I was small when it happened, I remember how scared I was that first night," Remus said quietly. Lily didn't give him any indication that she heard him. "I was scared that it would hurt. I was afraid that my father would no longer love me. I was all alone."

Lily didn't say anything.

"I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I would give my life to go back and change that night, Lily," Remus said quietly. He watched her, any indication that she heard him. He watched as a tear slipped to the snow and froze.

"I was in the woods for you," Lily said so quietly that Remus wasn't certain that he had even heard her speak.

"What?" Remus asked. Lily slowly turned her head to look at him. His worst horror was confirmed, her eyes were filled with tears. Have her slap him any day over tears. They cut him to the quick.

"I was in the wood for you," she replied as quietly as before. "I was so close to curing you. I just needed another try; I needed another golden unicorn hair."

"Lily," Remus said quietly as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I tried my best!" Lily wailed so loudly that it drew a few curious stares. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into the warm fold of his collar.

"I know you did," Remus said as he patted her shoulder.

"What am I going to do if tonight… if I become… if I…" Lily couldn't bring herself to say it as she pulled away from him. She wrapped her arms around her body as if she were physically holding herself together.

"Well…" Remus said as he scratched the back of his head. "We could always have a litter of cubs together."

"Oh GOD!" wailed Lily. Remus looked horrified.

"I was only kidding, Lily. I'm sorry," Remus said powerlessly. "I'm sorry. I know it was a bad joke."

"Jeeze, Moony, you're supposed to be out here cheering her up, not making her cry," Sirius scowled as he walked by them. Lily looked up at him, confused. He held up the bucket he was holding. "Just out for a detention with Sprout again. She said for me to bring a bucket."

"Shouldn't you be there already?" Remus asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Leaving," Sirius said. He looked up at the sky and then down at his watch. "Keep your eyes on the time, kiddos. The last thing we want is for two people with furry little problems running amuck through the school."

"Duly noted," Remus said. Sirius nodded once and headed away. Remus turned back to Lily. "Whatever happens tonight, you will always have me as a friend, just like you will always have Alice, Sirius, Peter, and, yes, James. Especially James, Lily, because he is crazy about you and could care less if you were human, muggle, or even werewolf."

"I'm afraid," Lily confessed.

"I wish that there was something that I could do to make you less afraid, but I can't. Only time will take that fear from your heart," Remus said quietly. He bumped her shoulder. "If you knew how worried James has been about you, you'd run over to him right now and throw your arms around him. He cares about you more than he cares about himself."

Later that evening, just before night fall, Lily took the long walk to the dungeons. It was cold down there, and while she had dressed warmly, the air still had a chill on it. She knew as she walked to the dungeon, Remus was getting a potion to ease his symptoms and he was heading to the Shrieking Shack. She wouldn't be given any potions, she would be left on her own to convert unimpeded, if that should be her fate.

"Always early," Professor Dumbledore said as Lily walked through the barred door. She nodded.

"This is too important to be late," Lily said quietly. She hung her head and extended her arms.

"It's not that bad, Lily," Professor Dumbledore said as he tapped a set of chains. The cuffs opened and her wrists and ankles fit perfectly in the couplings. Lily felt like a prisoner and panic began to well up in her. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

"Do I really have to keep these on all night?" Lily asked as the chains snaked around her waist. Professor Dumbledore nodded.

"I'm sorry, dear, but we have to take all the precautions we can with this sort of thing inside the castle. It's why Remus is out of the castle when he changes. He hates the shackles," Professor Dumbledore said as he gave the chains one final tap. They affixed themselves to a large metal ring in the stone wall. "They will automatically release you at dawn. Sorry the cot isn't more comfortable, but we have to limit what we give you as a potential weapon should you change."

"Will it hurt? Remus never told me," Lily asked. Professor Dumbledore stood at the door, ready to lock her in the room.

"Alas, I do not know, but my guess would be that it would hurt no more than any other change," Professor Dumbledore said as he moved aside as James slipped into the room before he closed the door with a resounding bang. "See you in the morning."

"Wait, what are you doing in here?" Lily asked as she sat down on the cot. "Shouldn't you be with Remus?"

"I already know what happens to Remus when the moon is full," James said as he paced the room slowly. "I'm here to see what happens to you."

"And should I change?" Lily asked.

"Then… we'll know," James said quietly. Lily placed her feet up on the cot and her head on the pillow. She was tired; the stresses that lead up to this point had taken its toll on her.

"Shouldn't you change into your Animagus?" Lily asked him as she struggled to brush some hair out of her face without raking the cold chains across her face.

"No," James said as he walked closer. "I don't plan on becoming the stag tonight, Lily."

"But if I change, James. I could attack you," Lily said as panic rose in her heart. James shrugged.

"So?"

"So? I could kill you, or worse, I could turn you into one, too," Lily cried aloud. James smiled as he sat down next to her.

"The moon'll be rising in a moment," said James as he placed his head down on the pillow next to her.

"James, please," Lily cried. He smiled at her, their faces just inches from each other. He wiped a rogue tear away with his thumb and brushed some of her hair out of her face.

"Lily, no matter what, I want to be where you are, how you are, with you," James said softly. "I love you, and the only unforgivable fate for me would not to have you in my life."

He pressed his mouth to hers, her mouth yielding to the gentle pressure. Lily squeezed her eyes tightly as he pulled her close to him. She ignored the tears that were streaming mercilessly down her face. James heart was pound hard against hers, their legs intertwined. He pulled his mouth away from hers momentarily as he planted little kisses along her jaw line and against her neck. He returned his mouth to hers, holding her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him alive when everything else was dying.

"The moon has risen," James whispered in her ear as his mouth left her mouth. She opened her eyes, the room bathed in the milky light of the moon. It washed over them, illuminating them.

"Am I?" Lily breathed. She knew but she needed him to confirm.

"You're fine, Lily," James said as a wave of relief washed over him. He tilted his head back and whooped. "Oh, thank god. You're fine."

James buried his face into her neck, and for the first time ever Lily realized how much he really cared about her. He had been really worried, but he had been willing to allow himself be infected if that meant they could be together. Lily had never known love like that before.

"You were going to do it. You would really risk me turning you into a werewolf," Lily said incredulously as she remained in his arms. Hours had passed, though it seemed like minutes. James snuggled against her.

"Yeah," he said sleepily. He pressed a kiss against her throat softly, not even bothering to open his eyes. "I know, it doesn't change anything between us, but I love you."

"I love you too, James," Lily whispered. He had already fallen asleep. She tried to wake him but he moaned softly and pressed his face against her shirt. "James? Are you awake?"

James stirred but did not wake.

"James, I hope you understand. I can't let people know that I love you. To do so would mean I admit it fully to myself. I lose all control. I lose deniability. It means that it will hurt that much more when you're gone, and you will go," Lily whispered as her fingers played in his hair. "Nothing lasts forever, including love. I've already lost my parents, and my sister has turned from me. I can't live with my heart broken and I know you'll break my heart."

"You're wrong," James whispered back sleepily. His eyes were still closed. "I'll never leave you, Lily, and I'll never break your heart."

"You're awake?" Lily asked quietly as she looked down at his still closed eyes. He sighed softly.

"How could I sleep knowing this may be the only time that I get to be this close to you?" James asked sleepily, still keeping his eyes closed. He opened an eye and peered at her sleepily. "Plus how can I possibly sleep while you are laying there, playing with my hair. Do you have any idea how alluring that is?"

"I'm shocked," Lily teased softly as she bit her lip slightly.

"That it turns me on?" he inquired grinning sleepily. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"No, that you know a world like _alluring_," Lily said. He laughed.

"You're always underestimating me," James said as he wiggled his eyebrows. He laughed at her playfully. "It's a shame that you're all tied up. I can think of few things we can do."

"Nope, uh-uh James," she laughed as she playfully pushed his chest with her bound hands. "I'm saving that until marriage."

"Well, how about a Christmas wedding then?" James asked. She laughed.

"Oh, God. And you're serious, too," Lily said helplessly. He tickled her sides.

"Sort of, kind of," James said. He kissed her ear gently. "I do plan on making you my wife, but I can be patient. First things first, how about we go out on a date? Say to Hogsmeade the first weekend back in the new year?"

"Sounds like a date, James Potter," Lily sighed as she rested her face against his. "I look forward to it."

**A/N:** _So, that is the end of the first term, and it will pick back up in the new term with Chapter 16. I hope that you have enjoyed the first term of seventh year as much as I have. Enjoy second term._


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Bear with me; I have a cold so some of this might come out a bit stuffy (that's a joke). I'd give you a rundown of the last fifteen chapters, but then you wouldn't have read them. So… go back and re-read them if you forgot what happened. Oh, it was pointed out to me that prefects are named in their fifth year (complete oversight on my part, claiming Lily and Remus became prefects in their third year) but I have the perfect answer for that. In the time between James/Lily went to Hogwarts and Harry went to Hogwarts, the rule changed and prefects had to be fifth years. Apparently there was an incident with one of the older Weasley boys (so I've heard, but that might be a rumor).

Disclaimer: If I wrote the original, where in the heck is my royalties??

**Chapter Sixteen**

For the moment, all was calm and quite. It was maybe two in the morning and the house was dead silent, nothing stirred. It brought a smile to James' face as he thought of the quietness that seemed to reach every nook and cranny. He looked to the bed that Sirius was sleeping in, the boy's arm hanging quite ungracefully of the edge of the bed. James pulled the covers over his head, his wand drawn.

"Lumunos," James whispered. A light glowed from the tip of his wand, emitting the warmest white light he'd seen. Sighing, he pulled the parchment and quill out from under his pillow. He had been trying to do this since he left, not certain what to say to her. He looked down at the blank parchment. He hadn't even gotten around writing the '_Dear Lily'_ part. Was that how he wanted his first written words to her to look?

"James," groaned Sirius. "The damn light, please."

"Alright," James said. "Nox."

"Damn straight," moaned Sirius with his voice muffled. He had apparently pushed his face into the pillow.

"Sorry," James said as he pushed the parchment back under his pillow.

"Nah," grumbled Sirius. He pushed himself up on one arm. "You'll see her tomorrow. Save whatever you have to say to her until then."

"Maybe you're right," James said nodding. Sirius nodded once before his head fell against the pillow with a soft thud.

"Of course I am, mate," Sirius groaned as he tugged at the covers. "Go to sleep."

"Um, Sirius?" James asked quietly after a moment of thought.

"Yeah," Sirius grunted without even opening his eyes.

"Do you think she still likes me? I mean we have been apart for the entire month of December," James asked suddenly uncertain.

"Uh," Sirius groaned as he sat back up and looked at him. "She probably likes you as much as she ever has, ok?"

"Ok," James said as Sirius flopped back down. He thought about that for a moment before punctuating the silence. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, James," Sirius whined sleepily. "I'm tired, ok? Can't we just talk in the morning? For the past month, she's all I have heard about. Just go to sleep and talk to her when we get back to Hogwarts tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok," James sighed. He rested his head against his pillow. He was not one who second guessed a lot, but when it came to Lily he was terribly uncertain. They hadn't even gone on their first official date and he was worried that he had already screwed things up between them. He hadn't written her once during the Christmas Holiday. He thought about buying her something for Christmas and sending it to her, he just couldn't decide what was appropriate, and he opted for socks.

"Socks?" Sirius had asked him while James addressed them to Lily at the school. He had thought about inviting her to Christmas, but assumed that was not something she would find comforting. Plus he had only thought about it when the train pulled into London, and by then it was too late. So he thought of a Christmas gift to send to her.

"So her feet don't get cold," James said hopefully. "Everyone can always use socks, and anyways I have no idea what she'd want."

"Socks? Really?" Sirius had inquired incredulously as he shook his head. James punched his shoulder.

"Shut up," James had said scowling as he finished the address as neatly as he could muster.

He hadn't been surprised when he didn't receive anything in return from her. He had been disappointed, though, and Sirius loved to point out that Lily must have loved her socks so much that she couldn't even top it, so she didn't. Sirius thought he was funny as could be, but James wasn't laughing. It stung that she didn't write him once during the long holiday. Then again, he hadn't written her either.

"Sirius? Why isn't she here?" James asked as he stood on the platform having just ridden the scarlet colored train for most of the day.

"What?" Sirius asked distractedly as he watched a sixth year girl eying him.

"Lily. Why isn't Lily here?" James asked.

"You're getting a bit whiny there, chap," Sirius said as he turned to look at his friend. "Did you expect her to meet you at the train and snog your brains out? That's not her style. Even you should know that."

"Nah, I just thought she'd come and say 'hello', you know?" James said as he shrugged, shouldering his large bag.

"She's probably up at the castle doing head-girl stuff, you know… bossing around the prefects and what not," Sirius said. James nodded, thinking that this must be the case. The two of them sat in silence as they rode the Threstral-driven carriages to the castle.

It was apparent that something was amiss when Sirius and James entered the Gryffindor common room. It was too quite. They looked around to find it empty. Shrugging, they headed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. The door was slightly open and curiously they entered the room, pushing the door wide. A large explosion sent them scrambling back, but it was too late. They were covered in green, sticky ooze.

"What is this?" James asked as he spread his fingers apart, the ooze making him look like some webbed finger freak.

"I hope this isn't snot," Sirius said. He laughed.

"What?" James asked as he picked himself up off the floor with great difficulty.

"This just reminds me of the ooze that accidently exploded all over Lily on the train," Sirius said laughing. "That little prank we had planned for Remus."

James laughed. He remembered it quite well.

"You don't think Lily pulled this prank on us, do you?" James asked as they began to clean up. Sirius laughed.

"I don't think she has a pranking streak in her," Sirius said. "I bet it was Remus."

"What would you like to wager?" James asked as he tried to rub his hands together dramatically. His hands stuck together.

"Ha ha," Sirius said shaking his head. "I know better than to bet you anything."

"Fine," James said as an owl dropped a letter at his feet. He tried to scoop it up but managed to smear the sticky goo on the burgundy carpet and get the letter stuck to his hand. After a minute struggling, he was able to read the letter.

"What does it say?" Sirius asked.

"It says that all students who were away for the Christmas Holiday are to report to the great hall immediately," James said as he shrugged. He looked at Sirius. "What do you think this is about?"

"No clue," Sirius said as he headed to the door. "Better go find out."

"Do you think we should clean this stuff off first?" James asked. Sirius grinned and shook his head.

"Nah," Sirius said. "If it's something stupid or lame, we can use it as an excuse to get out of it."

The two boys found few people in the hallways as they headed to the great hall. In fact, there were so few people at all in the great hall itself. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at Sirius and James but didn't address them. James looked around in hope of spotting Lily. He stood on his tip toes, looking for the auburn haired girl he had been fantasizing about all break. Dumbledore cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the fifty odd people in the great hall.

"I need, with a show of hands, to know which of you has already had Dragon pox," Professor Dumbledore said. All around them, hands went up. James and Sirius glanced around but did not raise their hands. Neither had ever had them. "Good, those of you who have, please head back to your dorms. The rest of you, remain where you are please."

James and Sirius, sticky and green, watched as a good thirty people left the great hall. Professor Dumbledore paced in front of the teachers' table, not saying anything as the numbers dwindled. He stopped when the last person left and he turned to the remaining few.

"While you were all out for Christmas break, we had an outbreak of Dragon pox," Professor Dumbledore said. "As we speak, letters are going home to your parents and guardians asking if we may go ahead and expose you while we have a few people still infected."

"Wait, you want to give us Dragon pox?" James piped up as he attempted to raise his arm. The green goo snapped it back into place at his side.

"The Healers believe that youth is the best time to catch it," Professor Dumbledore said. He looked up as the great hall filled with responses from the parents. "It looks like your parents agree."

"Wait, I don't want specked skin," Sirius cried out. "I'm just now allowed to start dating again."

"Sorry about that, Mr. Black, but as your surrogate mother, Mrs. Potter has decided to let you both be infected," Professor Dumbledore said. He smiled kindly at them. "I know how much your studies mean to you, so we have arranged for teaching assistants and tutors to come in and help you manage until you are back on your feet in a few weeks."

"But I was going to go to Hogsmead with Lily," James whined. Sirius looked unsympathetic.

"Your mom gave them the go-ahead to give me some disease," Sirius whispered. "Wait, I'm of age! I should get to decide!"

"Sorry boys," Lily said as she came up next to them. She pointed to the very speckled looking boy standing just a foot from them. "You've already been exposed."

"Lily," James said as he tried to wrap his arms around her. She laughed, backing away.

"You're just so… gooey!" She laughed as she shook her head as she backed away more.

"Aren't you afraid you'll catch Dragon pox?" James asked as he struggled against the goo. She laughed and shook her head.

"I've already had it," Lily said. "Remus and I caught it from a third year student. The boy who brought the pandemic back from Hogsmead."

"So, I guess I won't be leaving Hogwarts for our date then," James said mournfully. Lily brushed her lips against his.

"I'll wait for you," she said. "Now if only I could have been there when your goo exploded, that would have been perfect."

"You did this to me?" He asked. She smiled.

"I only wanted to make sure that you got your goo back," Lily teased as she stepped away from them. She looked at Sirius. "Green looks good on you. Are you sure you weren't meant to be in Slytherin?"

"Very funny, Lily," Sirius said as he went to chase after her and smear the goo in her hair. His feet stuck firmly to the ground.

"You may want to go take a shower before it becomes a solid," Lily laughed as she ran away from them. "See you for potions tutoring."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** From the reviews, I would assume you'd like this to continue. I did want to add one thing. So no one gets the wrong idea, I didn't create Dragon Pox. That was Ms. Rowling's doing (HBP- Slughorn is talking to Draco about his being sorry that Draco's grandfather dying 'dragon pox at his age'). I just didn't want anyone thinking I was taking claim to that cleverness.

**Disclaimer:** Plot is mine, characters are borrowed.

"It itches so bad," moaned Sirius as he laid in his bed. Madame Pomfrey shook her head as she circled around to Sirius' bed.

"Mr. Black, how many times do I have to charm those mittens on you?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she pulled out her wand, shaking it at a pair of discarded mittens.

"It itches!" griped Sirius as the mitten's attacked Sirius' hands and clamped down on his wrist. Sirius looked over to James for support, getting stifled laughter from behind a pair of mitten covered hands. "Some help you are!"

"Hey," James said in defense. "I know how to keep my mittens from looking like I've removed them. Pinned them to my sleeves."

"Nice try, James," Lily said as she strolled up to his bed. She giggled, the boys covered from head to toe with little green dots. She placed her books down on the foot of James' bed, pulled out her wand, and rolled up her sleeves. She charmed James' mittens back on his hands.

"Awe, come on Lily," James whined as he tried to itch with the gloves on his hands. He made a face as he looked at her. She smiled sweetly at him, patting his arm.

"Oh, I never thanked you for the socks," Lily said as she sat down on the chair. "I tried to write you but I just had a hard time putting what I wanted to say into words. They were put to good use, trust me."

"I can understand that," James said appreciatively. Sirius snickered.

"So, have you written your papers for potions class?" Lily said ignoring James' glares and Sirius' snickering. The two boys stopped.

"It itched too much," James complained.

"Worse than the time that I had fleas," Sirius said. Lily laughed.

"Ok, fine," Lily said as she drew out a quill and a piece of parchment. "Well, then. To get my extra credit, I have to stay here an hour, so I guess I'll just sit here."

James watched her writing on the parchment for a few minutes, his itching becoming too intense for him. He began to scratch the slightly raised, green speckles that covered him head to toe. He leaned towards Lily.

"What are you writing?" James asked as he reached to scratch. Lily looked up, mid sentence.

"A love letter," Lily said casually as she turned back to her parchment.

"To your boyfriend?" Sirius piped up laughing.

"I don't have a boyfriend," Lily said. "Yet."

"Ooh, Prongs, I think little miss goody-two-shoes is coming on to you," Sirius said. Lily laughed.

"You know, Sirius, I had quite a few girls voice some interest in you until I told them you had an broom accident over Christmas Holiday," Lily said as she went back to writing her paper. "It was a shame, you loosing the ability to use your… uh… strapping manliness."

"What?" Sirius cried out. He went to get out of bed to be shooed back into it by Madame Pomfrey.

"Yes," Lily continued once the woman was on the other side of the ward helping another itchy hospital patron. "It was convenient that everyone else got Dragon Pox and had to be hospitalized with you. To fake such an… itchy illness… a shame, really."

"I don't believe you," Sirius said doubtfully. He looked at Lily, trying to catch a glimpse of a smile. She continued to write her love letter.

"So, why did you wait to visit me? I thought that we were getting along," James asked as he tried to look at the page. Lily pulled it closer.

"I was stuck in detention all week," Lily said distastefully.

"Surely you're joking," Sirius said.

"What did you do?" James asked. Lily looked at him, placing her papers down.

"I… got caught sleeping in… your bed," Lily said as her cheeks turned from their creamy white to a bright pink. "I was alone, but… naked…"

"What?" Sirius said as he sat upright to get a better look at Lily.

"Naked in my bed?" James squeaked. Lily paused.

"Yeah… uh," Lily said nodding. "I was doing something… inappropriate."

"Inappropriate?" James encouraged, swallowing nervously. "Really?"

"No! You fool!" Lily laughed as she hit him with one of the books nearby. "I got detention for something else. Do you really think I'd be so bold to be naked in your bed?"

"What did you get detention for?" James asked as the color faded from his cheeks. Sirius was laughing.

"Sneaking around Dumbledore's office," Lily said shrugging as she picked up her letter and began writing it again. "He said he didn't want to give it to me, but since Severus caught me and gave me detention, he felt obligated to abide by the punishment given by a prefect."

"Why were you in Dumbledore's office?" James wondered. Lily grinned and shrugged.

"I was looking for something," Lily said. She glanced at her watch. "Lean forward."

"What?" James said as he leaned forward. Lily sat down on the bed next to him, her finger gently touching the back of his gown. She wasn't scratching his back, exactly. Her fingers eased some of the discomfort from the itching while arousing a new discomfort in him. Sirius cleared his throat, grinning at James. James blushed, shifting in bed.

"Sit still, I thought you said these itch," Lily said as James tried to pull away a bit.

"I think he has something else that could use a good scratching," Sirius piped up from his own hospital bed.

"Sirius!" James hissed angrily. Lily looked at Sirius a little confused before shifting off the bed. She looked at James and saw exactly what Sirius was talking about. James was beet red, matching the exact color of a ripe apple. Lily pressed her lips together to contain her laughter.

"Um," Lily said in a shaky voice, one that threatened to spill over into laughter. "I… uh, can't help you with that itch there, James."

"Oh, God," James said mortified as he covered his eyes with one hand and rearranged his pillow over his lap. "It's…"

"Been a while," Sirius finished laughing. Lily's cheeks pinked slightly.

"Oh, well, look at the time," Lily said looking at her watch. "I promised I'd walk with Remus to Hogsmead since you're not well enough."

"Wait, Remus is going on my date with you?" James said. Lily laughed slightly as she scooped up her stuff.

"Don't be silly, James," Lily said as she started to leave the hospital. She turned and looked back at James. "Remus is just chaperoning me and Amos Diggory."

"Wait! What?" James called in agony as the door swung closed. He looked at Sirius. "That Diggory is going on my date with my Lily?"

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked as James went to climb out of the bed.

"I'm not just going to lay here in bed while that Amos Diggory puts the moves on my Lily, especially with the rumor that he's already got a kid out there from other indiscretions," James said as he searched for his shoes.

"It's fact, not rumor, James. Hey, come back. You're naked arse is hanging out the back of your gown," Sirius called as James escaped the hospital ward. The corridors were empty, and James high tailed it back to the Gryffindor common room. He stood in his dormitory, surprised to find that it was clean. The last time that he had seen it, it was covered in sticky green slime. In a hurry, he grabbed his invisibility cloak and the Marauder's map.

"There you are Lily," James murmured under his breath as he saw her near the one-eyed witch. Lily disappeared, presumably down the passage. James couldn't believe that Remus was taking her out through one of their secret passage ways. He shook his head in disgust and ran as fast as his tennis shoes would let him.

Sliding behind the witch, James ran down the path careful not to trip on any loose roots. He could feel the dirt slipping into his shoes, his feet not protected by socks. It was a half an hour walk, and he was running, making it there in fifteen minutes. Still, it seemed that Lily was ahead of him. James carefully let himself out of Honeyduke's cellar, through the shop, and out into the cold January air. He shivered under his cloak, while making him invisible it did nothing for warmth.

James saw Remus head into the Hogshead Pub and James ran after him, peering into the dingy window. He couldn't make out any of the dark shadows and was forced to enter the pub, making the door look as if a swift January wind had blown it open. Standing there, shivering and numb, he searched the faces or lack thereof the seedier patrons. Over by the fire, which was roaring robustly was Lily, hunched over a stack of parchment. Remus was with her, his hand resting on the back of her chair casually. Their heads were close together and for a moment, on long and painful moment, James could have sworn they were kissing.

She laughed, breaking the spell. James saw that they were working on the papers together, text books on the table. James crept closer, carefully, not wanting to startle anyone or to give his position. He could feel the heat warming him from under the cloak as he stood right next to them. James frown as Lily pointed at the book, then the paper, causing Remus to lean closer to her. James mentally did the calculations, she needed only to turn her head so far to the right and the two of them, Remus and Lily, would be mouth to mouth.

"Nah, James wouldn't put that in his," Remus said shaking his head. Lily sighed and continued to flip through the books.

"I only need like one or two more sentances," Lily sighed again. James leaned over her carefully, getting a good look at what she was writing.

'She's writing my potions essay for me and in my handwriting, at that,' James exclaimed mentally.

"How's Sirius'?" Lily asked as pushed her sleeves back up.

"It fine, for him. Dreadful for me," Remus said. He held it at the strange angle Sirius held his paper when he wrote. "Do you think I should find a dog to gnaw on it a bit, or slobber?"

"Nah," Lily said as she dipped her fingers in the dripping from a forgotten barbeque chicken sandwich. Carefully she picked up the paper, leaving light smudge marks on the edge. She laughed and licked her fingers.

"Man, you have them down!" Remus laughed as he handed her a napkin.

"Only, you can't let them know I help you, ok?" Lily said quickly. "The last thing I want is for James to get it in his head that I am just going to lie down for him."

"That's what he wants," Remus said. Lily rolled her eyes.

"He'll get tired of my virginal act and move on," Lily said grinning as she placed her hands under her chin. "They all do."

"Don't count on it, Lily," Remus said. He froze and made a face. Lily looked at him.

"What's the matter?" Lily asked. Remus' nose moved ever so slightly and he looked right at James. "Remus, what?"

"Nothing," Remus said quickly as he turned back to looking at Lily. "I thought I… but that can't be. He would be THAT stupid."

"James?" Lily said. She jumped up and gripped at the air, missing James only because he had taken a step back. She was looking at the floor, watching for variances in the dust. She reached again, coming in contact with that familiar cloak. She yanked it off. "Ah-hah!"

"Lily!" James exclaimed. Lily's mouth dropped open, her cheeks turned pink, and Lily covered her eyes.

"Why aren't you were any clothes?" Lily squeaked.

"I have a hospital gown on, and shoes," James said as he pulled his gown to cover as much of his legs as he could. Lily kept her hands over her eyes and grabbed her cloak from the chair.

"For Merlin's sake, James, put it on," Lily begged. James wrapped himself in it, though it really was too small.

"What in the world do you think you are doing here?" Remus asked as James stood there, Lily's cloak wrapped around his waist long ways, wearing shoes without socks, and covered from head to toe in green spots.

"You said you were coming here on a date with Amos Diggory!" James said helplessly. Lily made a face at him, looking at Remus for back up.

"Do you see Amos around here?" Remus asked. James glanced around then shook his head.

"I was only kidding, James," Lily said. "Amos graduated last year, remember? Everyone was talking about him because he had a wizard out of wedlock."

"I feel like an idiot," James said. Lily raised an eye brow at him.

"You look like an idiot," Lily said. She brought her hand down on his hand. "You know, I am going to have to walk you back to school, and I am going to have to give you detention."

"Why are you doing our papers?" James asked. Lily blushed.

"I just wanted to help you out," Lily said. She held it for James to see. "I think I got you down."

"Thanks, really," James said. Lily stood, placing her supplies back in her bag.

"Let's get moving, James," Remus said quietly. "There are a group of goblins that are rather fond of young, virginal meat."

"I'm not a virgin," James defended as the three left the pub. Remus glanced at Lily, shrugging. Lily crossed her arms.

"We can debate that later," Lily said shivering. "Let's just get back to the school. Maybe I can sneak you back into hospital and no one will notice."

The three ran down the dirt tunnel back to the school, James in the rear of the group so that the flapping of his gown wouldn't offend anyone. Lily burst into laughter as she slipped from behind the witch. Checking that the coast was clear, Lily grabbed Remus by the hand and pulled him out.

"Run these to Professor Slughorn, straight away," Lily said shoving the essays in his hand. Remus nodded and took off toward the dungeon. Lily pulled James out from behind the witch. "Let's get you back upstairs. Do you have your map?"

"Yeah," James said as he pulled it out.

"I don't want to know where you had that hiding," Lily laughed.

"Pinned it to my gown," James said. He looked down at it. "Let's go. Snape's coming this way."

Lily took his hand and the two sprinted through the passageways and such until they came to the hospital wing. Lily poked her head in, seeing Madame Pomfrey heading through the door to her office. Lily took James and dragged him back to his bed. She yanked off her cloak and shoved him into the bed, pulling the sheet and blanket up. She threw herself in the chair, jerking a book from her bag.

"What? Where?" Madame Pomfrey sputtered as she looked at James dozing in his bed, Lily sitting beside it with a book.

"Oh, I know I said I'd only be here an hour," Lily said as she looked up innocently at the woman. "But James and I were having a lovely debate, then I had promised I would read to him."

"I could have sworn that he wasn't here," Madame Pomfrey said shaking her head in confusion. Lily touched the woman's arm.

"Madame Pomfrey, I daresay you are looking a little pale! Perhaps when the last of them are done with these blasted dragon pox, you should take a little holiday of your own," Lily said genuinely. Madame Pomfrey nodded, wringing her hands.

"Yes, perhaps," she said as she started to walk away. "Lock up when you leave, will you Lily dear?"

"Yes, of course," Lily said.

"I don't think I've ever seen you lie to an authority figure before," Sirius said as Lily put her book back in her bag. She rummaged around in it.

"I don't do it that often," Lily said. She pulled a box from her bag with a grin. "Now, James. I expect a proper date when you get better."

"No half naked running down the tunnels?" James said.

"No," Lily said. She bent down and kissed his mouth. She put the box on the bed.

"Happy belated Christmas, James," Lily said as she nodded towards the box. "See you in a week. Feel better, will you, and stay in bed!"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Sorry it is taking so long to get this chapter. This is actually the second write (the first maybe included in the bloopers chapter at the very end of this series).

**Disclaimer:** I've created the plot, not the characters.

**Chapter Eighteen**

"I cannot believe you are going on a date with him today," Alice squealed from her bedcovers. Lily groaned, barely opening her eyes. "Aren't you excited?"

"Alice, it's like seven in the morning… and on a Saturday, none the less," Lily groaned. Alice laughed, a pillow flying from one bed to the other.

"You can't pretend that you aren't excited," Alice said not hiding the excitement from her voice. "Have you decided what you're going to wear?"

"What do you mean? I'm wearing my uniform, as always," Lily grumbled as she pulled the covers over her head.

"What?" Alice cried out as she hopped from the bed. Lily cringed as Alice yanked the bedcovers free, causing Lily to get a chill of cold air.

"Stoke the fire, it's freezing in here," cried Lily as Alice began to pull Lily from her bed. Sighing, Alice let go of Lily and poked the fire for a minute.

"I can't believe that you aren't putting more interest in what you are dressing yourself in for you long anticipated date," Alice said exasperatedly. "There are bets to see how long it takes for James to do something embarrassing…"

"Ooh, can I get in on that action?" Lily grinned from under the blanket she had retrieved from the floor. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Lily, you can't bet against James!" Alice said shaking her head. "And you can't wear your school uniform on your very first date. What would you tell your children when you tell them the story of how you and James met?"

"I'm going on a date with him, not marrying him!" Lily said as she reluctantly allowed Alice to pull her from the bed. "Plus it's freezing outside. The wool skirts and what not are the only things that keep me warm, more so than my jeans or anything."

"Back me up, Libby," Alice said as she addressed one of the other girls in their dorm.

"Leave me alone," a growl came from under a blanket.

"Alice, really, I don't think James' going to care what I am wearing," Lily said. Alice shook her head and pulled out a dress.

"Wear this, it matches your eyes," Alice said. Lily looked at the dress, a velvety green dress.

"We're not going to a party or anything, just on a date," Lily said growling as she tossed the dress aside. Lily picked up her sweat pants and pulled them on over her panties. "You make such a big thing out of something that really is nothing."

"It's not 'nothing', Lily. This is the start of an intense relationship," Alice said as she picked the green dress back up.

"That won't fit me, anyways," Lily said. "I'd have to stuff my bra."

"We can't have that," Libby groaned from under her blanket. "Imagine James' surprise when he pulls out a wad of tissue."

"James will be doing no such thing!" Lily said as she tore her tee shirt off. She pulled a fresh one on, straightening it. "This is just a harmless date, not an invitation to feel me up."

"Maybe you should let him know that," Libby groaned as she climbed out of bed. Lily shook her head.

"He knows better than try," Lily laughed as she pulled her socks on her feet.

"You're going down to breakfast like that?" Alice asked. Lily rolled her eyes.

"What?" Lily asked as she exited the dorm room.

"You look like crap, Lily!" Alice called loudly as Lily bound down the stairs. Lily laughed again and headed across the common room to the portrait hole.

"I think she's wrong, in case you care," James said as he queued behind her. Lily grinned at him.

"So you know, I'm wearing my school uniform today for our date," Lily said quickly.

"You look beautiful in everything," James commented. Lily laughed.

"You're so corny!" Lily said as she slipped her hand in his. "I'm just glad that you got over your case of Dragon Pox. Green is a good color for Sirius, but you… you're better suited for burgundy."

"Don't let Sirius hear you. He dreads anything remotely like Slytherin colors," James whispered as the two of them headed down to breakfast. He kissed her cheek.

"Already pulling the old Potter charm out, are you?" Lily laughed as she pulled free. She took her seat, beginning to eat.

The plan was to meet in Hogsmead by Honeydukes' Sweet Shoppe. After that, it was completely up to James as to what they were doing. Dressed in her school uniform, and completely with her thickest wool cape, Lily stood where they had agreed. She was still cold, and contemplated heading inside, but she didn't want James to come across the shop and find her not standing outside.

"He's late," Lily said breathing on her mitten covered hands. She was stamping her feet, trying to keep warm. She quickly checked her watch and shook her head. He was an hour late.

"Hey Lily," James breathed into her ear when he finally made his appearance.

"You know you're an hour late," Lily said crossing her arms. James frowned and pulled out a rather old looking pocket watch.

"No, I'm freakishly early," James said showing her the time piece.

"You fool, it's not a watch," Lily said shivering.

"It's the watch you gave me for Christmas," James said. Lily shook her head.

"It doesn't tell time, not in the traditional sense," Lily said exasperated. "Didn't you read the card?"

"Uh," James said blushing as he scratched the back of his head.

"The watch tells the time that an important event in your near future will happen," Lily explained while shaking her head. She sounded a little annoyed. "Let's just get this date over with, ok?"

"Merlin, Lily. I'm sorry," James said sheepishly as he took her hand and lead her to the tea shop. She followed but didn't say much of anything. They sat down on frilly little poufs of chairs that Lily found annoying and uncomfortable. They drank tea, and talked some.

"Is this really what you had in mind for our first date?" Lily asked as she looked at an equally uncomfortable James.

"You deserve clean, pretty places," James said. Lily laughed, ignoring the looks of the others around her. "The cleanest, prettiest places in the world. This was the best I could think of."

"Why don't we grab a couple of pints at the Hogshead?" Lily said.

"That seedy dive?" James said. "I mean I know I go there all the time, and Remus took you there to work on our papers, but that's really a dangerous place sometimes. There are all kinds of illicit activities going on, shady people, you know."

"Come on, James. We're too young to be so stuffy," Lily said. She looked at him challenging. "Then maybe you can think of something fun we can do."

"Well," James said.

"Otherwise, let's just call this a failed date and move on," Lily suggested. James crossed his arms.

"Damn, when did you get so pushy?" James asked frowning.

"I told you that I'm not your kind of girl, James," Lily said as she stood, shaking her head. She headed away from him. "Sorry."

James watched he walk out of the tea shop and head towards the Hogshead. Sighing, he left as well and marched through the snow to see her. He entered, happy to find her alone and waiting for him. He shook his head as he sat down.

"I'm not giving up that quickly, Lily," James said as he took her hand. "I've been waiting for years to date you, and I plan on dating you properly. So this date was a dud, so what? I can make it up to you."

"Maybe I was too harsh," Lily said quietly as she traced the rim of her cup. "Standing in the cold, waiting for you will do that."

"Well," James said as he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll learn to tell time better, ok?"

"Ok," Lily said slowly.

"I think I know something that you'll find fun," James said as pulled back.

"Really?" Lily asked.

"Have you ever been to a real haunted house before?" James asked. Lily looked intrigued.

"No," Lily replied. "I haven't been."

"If I take you to this very haunted house, you have to promise that you will never visit it without me, and never alone," James said in a low, mysterious voice. Lily nodded eagerly.

The two set out in the snow towards the shrieking shack. Though there were rumors that it was the most haunted place in all of the wizarding world, it looked rather harmless covered in snow. Lily stood at the barbed wire fence while James slipped easily through before holding the fence apart with his hands for her to slip through.

Lily followed, hesitantly, knowing that there had to a good reason to have the fence built… be it to keep people out or something else in. She was quiet the walk up the lane, the house growing larger as they approached it. Her hand found James' easily, and she held on tight for fear of letting go. Something about the house made her very uneasy.

"They say that this house was the site of a mass witch murder," James said with his voice eerily low, as if he was afraid to speak any louder and wake the dead that haunted it. "Seventy-seven witches were slaughtered, beheaded by an evil wizard who believed that draining their blood for him to bath in would grant him their powers. When the wizard was unable to produce the magic that the witches possessed, he deemed it a terrible failure and buried the witches on the proper."

"Really?" Lily whispered as the howling wind whipped through the loose shutters, the wood creaking and moaning as they stepped on the front porch of the house.

"Uh-huh, he buried the body under the wooden floor," James said as he removed a loose board that covered the window. He pushed it open and started to climb inside. He stopped. "Sorry, Lily. I forgot. Ladies first."

"No, that's ok," Lily said as she held on to James' hand with a death grip. "You know, we don't even have to go in here."

"It's ok, Lily," James whispered. "I'm sure the ghost won't hurt you."

"You go," Lily said dropping his hand. "I'll wait here." James shrugged, grinning to himself as he climbed through the window. Lily waited, hearing the creaking of the old wooden house. It didn't seem very haunted at the moment, rather just old and shabby. Lily laughed slightly, chastising herself for being such a scared something or the other. She sighed and leaned against the house.

"Whhooo haunts my haunt," a soft moan came from within the house. Lily froze.

"James?" Lily asked uncertainly.

"Whhooo haunts my haunt," replied the very eerily quiet moaner.

"This is not funny, James," Lily said as her voice shook slightly.

"James… haunts my haunt," the moan replied and Lily froze. It didn't sound like anything a human could make, sound wise. "I'll make James number seventy-eight."

"James! Get out of there!" Lily shouted through the window. She heard a loud crash followed by what sounded like a body hitting an old wooden plank floor. "James?"

Lily was met with silence. She waited, her ears straining to hear but she was met with just the howls of the wind. Panic crept down her spiny, causing her to shiver. She took a deep breath and entered the house through the window. It was unnaturally quiet in the house, the floor boards barely creaked under her light steps. She held her wand tentatively, ready to shoot anything in her path should she need with a curse or hex. Unable to see anyone on the first floor aside from a dirty little rat she kicked out of the way, Lily carefully climbed the stairs. One step complained so loudly that Lily froze, willing her heart not to explode out of her chest.

She found a small bedroom, the door slightly a jar. Hesitantly, Lily pushed the door open holding her breath as it let out a long, silence splitting wail. The thick dust on the floor had been wiped in a long trail, as if something had been drug across the floor. Lily gulped, thinking it was as wide as a body. She followed the trail to the bed, her eyes landing on a pair of shoes poking out from the side. She ran, finding James on the floor apparently out cold.

"James! James!" Lily whispered as she shook his shoulder. She heard the creek of the bed, as if someone had laid on it to look over the side at them. Without looking up, she shot a curse. "Stupify!"

She had her arm tightly around James, who was now struggling to break free. It had gone unnoticed for a brief second by Lily who was screaming curses at the unseen assailant.

"Lily! Stop! It was a joke!" James gasped as he pried her arm from around his throat. Lily sat back in shock.

"W-what?" Lily asked. James laughed embarrassed.

"I was pretending to be attacked…" he trailed off with apologetic eyes. "You were bored and I knew that Sirius, Remus, and Peter would be hanging out here, so I brought you here and pretended that I was attacked by the ghost of the shrieking shack."

"B-but I heard the ghost," Lily said shaking her head.

"It was me," Remus said sheepishly as he came out of the closet.

"And the creaking," Lily explained with confusion.

"Peter's running around here as a rat somewhere," Remus said. Lily blushed at the thought she probably had kicked Peter quite hard.

"But, wait, the bed," Lily said pointing.

"You cursed Sirius," James said as he stood, helping her from the floor. Lily glanced over at a curled up Sirius, looking like he had seen better days. She turned and looked at James.

"But… why? Why scare me like that!" Lily demanded as her anger rose. She felt stupid. James shrugged.

"I wanted you to have the most memorable first date, and so far it wasn't what it was all cracked up to be," James said. "I just added some improvising and made it a little spicy."

"You are such… a… I don't know what!" Lily screeched at him angrily. "This date is over! You had me worried for nothing, I cursed Black back into his youth, kicked poor Peter, and ugh! I'm leaving!"

"Wait, Lily," James said shaking his head. "I didn't mean to screw this up so bad."

"Damn it, James," Lily swore. "I just wanted to hang out with you, all relaxed and fun loving like normal. I didn't want to go to some stupid, boring tea house and I certainly didn't want to think you were the seventy-eighth victim of some crazy ghoul murder."

"Yeah, about that," James said scratching his head. "I might have fudged the truth on that. The number of people murdered may have been exaggerated."

"Then how many?" Lily demanded. James looked uncomfortable.

"I think, maybe, someone might have died here of old age, or boredom," James said. Lily looked at him furiously.

"This date, James Potter, is over," Lily said. She looked at her watch. "I am calling it. Fifteen thirty, and make sure someone passes it along to the others who bet how long it would take you to completely screw this up. You have a sick sense of humor, James Potter!"

James looked at Remus helplessly as Lily stalked out of the room, her steps pounding loudly as she ran down the stairs and bolted out the unlocked front door. Remus shrugged and the two went to reverse as many of Lily's curses as possible before searching for Peter who was human again and sporting a nasty black eye.

"You really screwed this one up," Sirius said as James and Remus helped him out of the house. "Don't ever take you eye off that one, she curses like a profession hit witch."

"Don't tell her that," Remus joked lightly. "James'll be her next victim."

"Guys, this is serious," James said shaking his head. "How in the world am I going to make this travesty of a date up to her?"

"You think she'd let you have a do over?" Peter mumbled as he touched his eye. He cringed.

"Probably not," James said shaking his head again. "It took me six and a half years to get this one date from her, and I had to risk turning myself into a werewolf."

"Yeah," Sirius said. "You really screwed this one up."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Ah, thank you for your reviews. I agree with most of you, James really made a mess of his first date with Lily. He over thought the beginning and didn't think enough in the end. Sorry this is taking so long, I've been doing some stuff on the side (and then I totally blew my Thursday block time by reading). I promise, I'll do better. Just reread it, and it was already done! Oops. Oh well, I guess it doesn't help… you all knowing that you could have read this two days ago. Sorry.

**Disc.:** In my time here, I've created much, I just can't claim these characters.

**Chapter Nineteen**

"What were you thinking, you fool!" Alice hissed at James as she took a seat across from him in the common room. James looked up from his game of wizarding chess; Remus was winning.

"What do you want, Alice?" James asked as he looked at her. He had a tired look on his face, like he hadn't slept in days, which he hadn't. He hadn't slept in the week following the date, the error of his ways haunting him when his eyes were closed.

"You knew her parents were murdered and then you pulled that stunt," Alice said angrily. She shook her head at him. "She really thought something bad had happened to you, and it made her sick."

"She thought that James was dead for only like a second or two," Sirius defended his best friend. "It was a joke, a prank, and he apologized to your girl. What else would you have him do?"

"I don't know. Make it right with her, James," Alice demanded.

"I tried to," James said angrily. "She won't talk to me. She just sits there, listening, and just then goes about her business. She's being completely unreasonable. I didn't think. I get it. I'm an idiot, ok. I don't know what else to do."

"She is my best friend, and when you hurt her, you hurt me," Alice snapped at him as she stood from her chair. "I won't stand by and let you hurt me because you're too stupid to have any tact."

"Hey, you're not perfect," Sirius snapped.

"Shut it, Black," Alice said as she turned to look at Sirius. "Don't get me started on your lack of tact. Just make it right, James."

James looked away, not watching Alice walk away from him. He turned back to the game, commanding his pieces. He was distracted even more and Remus made short work of the game, winning it with ease. James crossed his arms, not really pouting but not feeling too good about it either. Remus always beat him, just usually not this bad.

"Well, I hate to make things worse, but we have a prefects meeting in like ten minutes, and I really doubt that us being late will get you back in Lily's good graces," Remus said as he looked at James. James nodded, standing. The two of them headed out of the common room. They headed down the corridor toward the prefects' meeting room.

The prefects' meeting room was still fairly empty when they arrived. There was a roaring fire, warming the medium sized room. James glanced over at the table the snacks and drinks were placed on to nourish and satiate the prefects. James' eyes fell on Lily, who was sitting near the fire. The light of the fire made her hair glow ethereally, like the flames had jumped from the hearth and surrounded her. James' eyes narrowed as he saw Severus talking to her, their bodies close. James' stomach clenched painfully as Severus playfully squeezed Lily's knee.

She laughed slightly but pulled away. James felt a pure hatred for Severus boiling up inside him to the point that he felt as if he could run across the meeting room and kill Severus with his bare hands. Remus rested his hand on James' arm, warning him not to do anything stupid. James took a deep breath and casually fully entered the meeting room. Lily glanced up at them.

"Just take a seat," Lily said as she stood and put some distance between herself and Severus. James sat in a seat, Remus taking the seat next to him. James watched as she headed to the desk that she had placed in the room. She took a seat on the edge of it, reaching down to adjust her white knee high socks. Her hair fell in her face, shielding it from James' intense gaze.

One by one, the other prefects came in the room and took their seats. Lily waited until the last prefect was sitting, snack and drink in hand, before she stood and began handing out packets to each of them. When she had finally handed the last one out, she took her seat near the fire. She looked up at them expectantly.

"The professors have verbalized some concern about the number of students needing or wanting tutoring. There will be a sign up sheet for volunteers to tutor different subjects. Unfortunately, this is limited to seventh year tutors without direct approval of the professors," Lily said. She glanced at a red haired, freckled boy whispering to another third year prefect. "Bill Weasley, please be quiet."

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Anyways," Lily continued. "I do hope that those of you who may be particularly talented in a subject will consider the positive impact you will have on your fellow students. While one on one tutoring is ideal, there really is a need for more tutors."

"Where will the signup sheets be?" James asked as he raised his hand. "I mean for the students should they do desire a tutor?"

"The academic hall," Lily said stiffly. She turned back to her paper, her voice returning to its warmness. "Second on the docket, I know many of us have gotten into a rather regular routine of patrolling. I know many of us are quite comfortable, but Professor Dumbledore has some concern about the viability of our younger prefects. Without going into detail, there was an incident over the Christmas Holiday that involved…"

"Just say it, me," Bill Weasley grinned.

"Yes, Bill, thank you," Lily said pensively. "Perhaps you'd like to tell the other prefects exactly what you did?"

"Gladly," Bill said jumping up in his chair. "I had the house elves and the suits of armor reenact the Wizard-Elf War of 610! It was awesome!"

"Not so much, Bill," Lily said gently as she shook her head suppressing the smile that had bloomed across her face when she had come across the scene during the holiday. "It was at eleven at night, after curfew, and you had the castle up in arms including those of us who were held up sick with Dragon Pox."

"Someone should have been watching me," Bill laughed.

"You are a prefect and should have been respectful enough to know better. That is the reason that after this year, prefects for houses will not be chosen until fifth year," Lily said as she checked off another bullet point on her sheet.

"What about fourth years?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, about that," Bill laughed as he glanced at a Wren, a fourth year.

"Wren was on patrol with Bill that night," Lily said quickly. "It was a ruling passed down from the disciplinary panel. Thank goodness there weren't any fifth year students involved… or that they found out about."

"Yeah," said a few fifth years said. Lily glared at two fifth year Ravenclaws that were averting their eyes.

"So, for the remainder of the year, third and fourth years must patrol with a fifth year or higher," Lily said. "Tonight I'll do patrol alone. Tomorrow the new rotation will be up, so please check it. I will take into account Quidditch practices, games, and other stuff. If anything comes up, just send me a quick memo or whatever and I'll make the changes. So, I think that is about it. Anyone have anything they need to add?"

"I'd like to remind everyone that during the week of Easter holiday, we need a head count of those who will be remaining here and those who will be taking the week elsewhere," Severus said. Lily nodded. "We want to make sure that there are enough people for rotation."

"Thank you Severus," Lily said. "I will want to know as soon as possible. Alright, well, I've said everything I need to say. Bill, please sit down until I release you. I pity your mother."

"I pity her too," Bill laughed. "I've got four younger brothers, Charlie and Percy, and the twin babies, Freddie and Georgie."

"Yeah," Lily said nodding. "I've talked with your mother plenty about you when she's had to come up here to straighten you out. Well anyway, I am done. If no one else has anything further to discuss with the rest of the prefects, you are free to eat, drink, and mingle. I know many of you have things you need to be doing."

Several of the third, fourth, and fifth years got up, taking a few snacks as they headed out the door. Lily stood, taking her paperwork to the desk and filing it in the desk drawer. Severus hung back, as did James and Remus. She took her time dealing with cleaning up the snack table and snuffing out the fire. She looked at the three boys expectantly.

"Is there anything further that you need to discuss?" Lily asked. The three shook their heads, not wanting to be the first to be dismissed by Lily. She smiled and headed out of the meeting room. Severus turned and grinned at James menacingly.

"I heard about your lovely date with Lily," Severus taunted. "I made 5 sickles on it, thanks. I should have bet more, really, but to profit any more would have made me feel a bit guiltier. I have to give it up to you. Remind her dramatically of her parents murder, fantastic really, in case she wasn't hurting enough."

James gaped at Severus as he whisked himself out of the room like an overgrown bat. James turned to Remus, who shrugged. James frowned, knowing that as much as he hated it Severus had a point. James had really torn open a wound with Lily. He should have thought about how she'd feel about his little prank. He understood.

James entered the common room, not expecting to see Lily lounging in one of the chairs by the fire with a thick book. She was completely engrossed in the book and didn't even take notice when James sat down next to her. He waited, patiently, knowing he'd wait until the end of time if it meant that she'd eventually pay him some attention. He felt his eyes grow heavy, the warmth of the room increasing as he loosened his tie. He breathed in deeply, her sweet scent invading his nose.

"That's rather rude," Lily murmured as she turned the page.

"What?" James said, startled that she was talking to him.

"You smelling me, it's rude," Lily murmured as she continued to focus on the page she was reading.

"Sorry," James said. He waited a second, taking a deep breath. He took the book from Lily, placing it down on the table as he scooted closer to Lily. He took both of her hands in his, looking at her intently. "Look, Lily, I am so sorry that I was heartless and stupid. I should have thought that through before I pulled that joke on you. I wasn't sensitive to your needs, nor to what you have been through. We really care for each other, and I shouldn't have taken advantage of that."

"I care for you?" Lily asked as she looked at his genuinely apologetic expression. James nodded.

"It's the reason you were so upset," James said. "I understand it now, and I shouldn't have joked so carelessly about the care you have for me. I really like you, Lily, and I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Ok," Lily said.

"Ok?" James asked frowning as he continued to hold her hands in his.

"Yeah, ok," Lily said. She let a smile cross her face. "Apology accepted. You really get it, and it's over with."

"Can we try again?" James asked hesitantly.

"You mean a date? Yeah, I think it is only fair," Lily said. She grinned at him. "Let's keep it between us, ok? This whole thing with people betting for or against us doesn't make for a fun dating experience."

"Alright, I can handle secrecy," James said.

"And I think I'll plan this date," Lily said. "If you don't mind."

"I don't," James said. Lily nodded and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his slightly. She pulled back, blushing.

"Sorry," Lily apologized. James grinned.

"Don't be," James said. "You can cross the friend line anytime you want to. Erase it, stomp on it, whatever." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Do you want to patrol with me tonight?" Lily asked.

"This isn't going to be our date, is it?" James asked. Lily shook her head.

"Oh, no. I've got something special in mind for us," Lily said smirking. She picked up her book and opened it back to the page she left off on.

"Ok, then," James said grinning as he stood. "Thanks for giving me a second chance, Lily."

"Everyone does stupid stuff, James, from time to time. Everyone deserves a second chance," Lily told him. James nodded and headed off to find Remus and Sirius to tell them the good news. Sirius and Remus listened.

"I hope she's not planning anything, you know, bad," Sirius said. He looked at Remus, who shrugged. "Girls can be sneaky and vindictive. I should know; I date a lot of them."

"Not Lily," James said. "She'd never pull anything on me."

"What about the green goo?" Remus reminded him.

"Oh, well," James said slowly. "She was just returning the goo from earlier in the year."

"You are deluded," Sirius said under his breath just loud enough for Remus to hear. Remus grinned and shrugged. James had heard him, but he ignored Sirius. Right then, no one could tell him anything different than his perfect Lily. All of the evidence in the world could be lay down before him to the contrary but to James Potter, Lily Evans was the most perfect girl in the world.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Holy crap, this is a really long chapter. Sorry, but there really isn't any way to make this shorter. Well, no, I take that back. I made it as short as I possibly could, and it is still long. Anyways, thanks for reading and don't forget to review, will you?! Oh, thanks to the person that mentioned that James is really a Chaser and not a Seeker (in real life). For this, I needed him to be a seeker… you will see why.

**Disc.:** Didn't make the world, just using it for my own devices.

**Chapter Twenty**

Like any news that was supposed to be a secret, the news of Lily and James' second attempt at a date spread like wildfire among the students of Gryffindor, then the entire school. It made James worried that she would blame him for the information getting out, but she made no mention of it. He figured she thought it had to do with them doing night patrol together. While completely uneventful, it hadn't gone unnoticed.

"So, James," a sixth year Gryffindor said as he took a seat next to James and his friends. "What kind of prank can we expect on this date? Where are you taking her?"

"Sod off," James said as he pushed the boy's hand off his shoulder. James rolled his eyes as the boy glared at James and walked away.

"I still can't believe she gave you a second chance," Remus said.

"I still can't believe you trust her to plan the whole thing," Sirius said raising an eyebrow. "She didn't give you a single hint?"

"Nope," James said shrugging.

"Aren't you worried?" Sirius asked. James laughed.

"Why should I be? It's Lily," James said. Sirius shook his head.

"You're nutters to think she wouldn't try and pull something," Sirius warned shaking his head again. "Those goody-goody types are like ticking time bombs."

"Stop it," Remus said to Sirius. "You're going to scare poor James off."

"No he's not," James insisted. "I'm not scared of Lily."

"You should be," Sirius said lowering his voice as the aforementioned girl walked in the common room. She slowly looked over at them, a smile crossed her face, and she continued toward her dormitory. "See, she's pure evil."

"Shouldn't you be out teasing some fifth year girls?" James asked. Sirius grinned; a slight blush crept up his cheek.

"Ah, well, I've pretty much drained the dating pool dry, and I refuse to go younger than a fifth year," Sirius said shrugging. "And the two Slytherins I tried out nearly bit my, well, they nearly bit me."

"Only you," laughed James. Sirius shrugged.

"Fancy a ride before dinner?" Sirius asked. Remus and James laughed.

"You had better mean on a broom, Sirius," Remus said as James stood. Sirius grinned and shrugged.

"Ok, sure," Sirius said. He glanced over at the still silent Peter who now had his mouth hanging open in shock. "Sod off, Peter. It's a joke. I love James, I just don't want to give him loving."

"You're wicked, you know," James teased as the three older, cooler boys left Peter sitting on the chair. The poor boy had never been one who got jokes quickly, and it took him a moment to recover before he jumped off the chair to follow them out of the common room.

The four boys found their beds warm and welcoming when they finally turned in that night. James was already dozing off when he heard the insistent taping on the lead pane window. Sighing, knowing no one else intended to answer the window, James climbed out of bed wearing just his golden snitch boxer short and walked across the cold floor. He threw the window open allowing a large barn owl to swoop in and perch at the end of his bed.

"Okay," James said in a low voice as he walked back to his bed. Tied with a little piece of leather rope was a small piece of parchment. James went to untie the parchment, the owl biting his knuckle hard. James jerked his hand back, placing his injured knuckle in his mouth for soothing purposes. "Stupid owl…"

"Don't insult that one," mumbled Sirius sleepily. "He bites."

"Thanks," James said shaking his head. He attempted futilely twice more before he was able to remove the parchment. The owl hooted indignantly at James' rough handling and soared out the window. James rushed to the window, slamming it closed before the blasted bird decided to come back.

James headed over to his bed with the parchment, lit his wand, and unrolled it from its' tightly scrolled shape. He read it carefully, recognizing the elegant and graceful handwriting of Lily Evans. For a minute, while the meaning of the message settled in his brain he focused on the delicate curls of her lettering, so different from the heavy handed way that he stabbed at the parchment when he wrote. He reread her message to him.

"Sirius," James whispered.

"Hmm?" Sirius replied.

"My date with Lily is tomorrow," James said as quietly as he could. He could barely contain his excitement.

"That's nice," Sirius mumbled. It was silent in the room before Sirius bolted upright in his bed. "Wait, what? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah," James said laughing. "She owled me a note."

"Really?" Sirius said as he threw a shoe at Remus to wake him up. Remus jerked up, looking around angrily for the culprit. "James' date is tomorrow."

"What? Really? Does she say what she has planned?" Remus asked forgetting that he had been pelted in the head with a shoe. James looked down at the letter.

"No," James said. "It just says to dress comfortably."

"I wonder what she has planned," Sirius said suspiciously. Remus laughed.

"Why do you always assume that people are up to no good? Just because you almost always are doesn't mean that they are too," Remus said. He thought a minute. "I wonder when she had time to plan anything? She's been so busy with rotation schedules, tutoring schedules, class work, and a long list of other duties."

"I don't know," James said shrugging. Sirius was pouting.

"I don't care," Sirius said. James laughed and threw his arm around Sirius.

"Don't worry, Sirius," James said. "You can be our gardener when Lily and I get married."

"Pshft, like I care," Sirius said sniffing. He broke into a grin despite himself. "Remember, it's just one date not a wedding proposal."

"I know, I know," James said as they all retreated back to their prospective beds. James looked up at the canopy of his bed for a long time wondering what in the world she had planned for them. Knowing her, it would be very detail specific and he wondered where she found the time to do any of the things she did.

James sprung from bed like a tightly wound spring. He had managed to nod off only a few hours before day break, and it was insanely early for James to up on a Saturday when there was no Quidditch. Sirius barely opened his eyes as James headed straight into the shower. He was whistling merrily and even Remus made a face. James was usually not a morning person, so the chipperness that he emitted was slightly annoying. Still they couldn't blame James. He was going on a date with Lily that she had arranged, so they knew it would be perfect.

It seemed to James that two thirty would never come. He felt like a bundle of energy and nerves, and his good mood was rubbing off on everyone. Even Peter seemed perkier than usual, and he had been a little annoying up until recently. James couldn't believe how much of a girl he was becoming. He had changed his shirt and sweater at least a dozen times before settling on a simple button down shirt, sleeves rolled, and a sweater vest. He'd just have to remember his jacket. He had tried on three pair of corduroy pants, two trousers, and a few jeans before settling for his favorite pair of jeans. He wanted to do as she said and dress comfortably, but he wanted to look good too.

He looked at Lily as she sat in the common room, reading her book while Alice merrily chit chatted about some random thing. She seemed nonplussed about the whole thing, as if it was an everyday thing: her going on a second date with James Potter. She looked normal enough, jeans and a sweater. Her hair was down, and she was nodding at Alice in the appropriate spots to make Alice believe she really was listening. James frowned. Knowing Lily, she probably really was listening and reading her book.

"Ok," Lily said finally in her sweet but I-have-heard-enough tone. She handed her book to Alice and stood. "Are you ready?"

James nodded, swallowing nervously. He couldn't say anything, just stand and depart from Sirius who was whispering for him to run like hell and Remus who was cheering him all the way. James waved good bye to them, rushing back to grab his jacket off the chair he had just vacated. Lily didn't say much of anything. She waited patiently as she pulled her own jacket on and zipped it closed.

"Sorry," James said grinning. "Guess I'm a bit nervous."

"Really," Lily said raising an eyebrow. "I would've never guessed."

James laughed and followed her as she walked out the front door of the castle. There was new snow on the ground and the sound of it crunching below his feet filled the silence that spanned between them. Lily and James walked side by side, not doing much of any talking. Once outside of the walls of Hogwarts, Lily stopped abruptly causing James to nearly knock her to the ground. He caught her arm in his hand and kept her from falling.

"Ok," Lily said as she brushed her hair out of her face. "So, have you ever done a side-along before?"

"What?" James asked as he processed what she had said. He nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"Because you're going to side-along apparate with me, James," Lily told him as she offered his arm. He hesitated, having second thoughts.

"Isn't it against school rules to apparate away from the school?" James asked. Lily smiled.

"Never took you as one who let rules define you," Lily said. She nodded. "It is, but I've already cleared all of these activities with Professor Dumbledore. You're perfectly safe."

"Why do I have to do a side-along? I am of age, too, you know," James said almost proudly. "I will be eighteen in March."

"Well, I'll be eighteen in January and you don't know where we are going. Just shut up and let me be in control, will you?" Lily said as she took his arm. He thought about pouting but she did have a point. There was no use in him trying to apparate when he didn't know where they were going. He thought he could always ask her, but by then he was already feeling that strange sensation behind his navel.

It was dark when James' feet touched the ground. He continued to hold on to Lily's arm though it was obvious that he could let go. She let him remained gripped to her arm and said nothing, waiting for him to speak first. She knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

"Where are we?" James asked quietly. "And why is it so dark?"

"Afraid I might have killed you?" Lily teased. She didn't wait for his reply. "It is so dark because it is only six thirty in the morning here, and where we are is Peru."

"Why are we in Peru?" James wondered aloud. Lily laughed as she lit her wand. They were standing outside of a large building.

"We are in Peru so that you can spend the entire day playing Quidditch with the Peruvian Fight Fish," Lily said as the door opened. A man in green and gold Quidditch robes opened the door, grinning.

"Welcome," he said with a thick American accent. "I'm…"

"David Kelley, the best damn seeker there ever was!" James exclaimed as he vigorously shook the hand of his hero. The seeker smiled and nodded at James.

"I like to think so, though Lily tells me that you're on fair seeker yourself," Kelley said as he scratched his arm.

"You… you talked about me?" James asked turning to Lilly. "How do you even know…?"

"I interned here in my fifth summer, instead of going home for the summer holiday," Lily told James as the two of them followed the professional Quidditch player. "I earned a little money and I learned so much about business management."

"This is Quidditch!" James said shaking his head.

"It's also a business," Lily said. He didn't hear her. They had just walked into the morning meeting of the Peruvian Fighting Fish. Fourteen professional Quidditch players, the team manager, various other support staff, and the mascot, a Peruvian Fighting Fish in a glass bowl were sitting around casually. They all greeted James warmly, as if he had been a part of the Peruvian Fighting Fish.

"This is so awesome, Lily," James hissed at her as they were both given honorary uniforms: James' number was his favorite number, 11, and Lily's number was 7. She smiled, glad he was having a great time. The two of them headed to the change room. James glanced over as Lily pulled off her sweater, it clinging to her shirt. He grinned. Not only was he going to spend the day with his all time favorite team, he had also inadvertently saw a good bit of Lily's bare back.

"I hope you have fun," Lily said as she pulled her own uniform on, not looking at him. She began strapping the shin guards, as well as the wrist guards. "You'll be playing with the main team. I'll be playing against you with the reservists."

"I didn't know you can fly," James dumbly as he pulled his shirt and sweater off. Lily blushed at his unabashed exposure of a Quidditch defined chest.

"Of course I can fly," Lily said scowling. "I can also play Quidditch quite well for someone who wasn't born on a broom stick."

"I didn't know that," James said.

"What you don't know about me, James Potter, could fill the super dome," Lily said. James frowned.

"The what?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Hurry up," Lily called as she left him alone in the change room. He pulled his uniform on and headed out, fastening his own guards. He was greeted by David Kelley.

"So, you're going to replace me against the reservists today," Kelley said as he handed James a broom.

"Is this…?"

"My personal broom, yeah," Kelley said laughing. James looked like he was in heaven. "Be careful with it, though. She's a fast one."

"I think I can handle it," James said as he fingers caressed the hand carved handle.

"You're a bit on the lighter side of me, so you'll be fine," Kelley said as he patted James' shoulder. James joined the team on the pitch. He felt like he was going to explode from excitement when the whistle was blown and the fourteen players hit the sky.

"Make me proud, Potter!" Kelley cheered from the ground. James could hardly stand it. He was playing on a professional Quidditch team with professional Quidditch players, and his hero was cheering for him. He looked around, trying to glimpse the bit of gold of the Snitch. He could see Lily playing chaser and he cringed as a bludger was hit from one of his team mates right at her. It made contact with her thigh, but she pressed on and scored another point. James turned from watching her and looked for the snitch.

Across the field, a whole two and a half seconds before the reserve seeker saw it, James saw the glint of the snitch. Without a second thought, James shot through the air like a bullet shot from a gun. The reservist never had a chance, but still he had to give it his all. James' hand closed on the snitch and the game had been won. They all returned to the ground. David Kelley came up to James cheering.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down," Kelley said congratulating him. James couldn't even pretend that approval from his hero didn't put him on cloud nine. "You are a fantastic Seeker. Have you thought about going pro someday?"

"Only like every time I close my eyes!" James said excitedly.

"With the right manager and the right trainer, you'd give me a run for my money," Kelley said laughing as the two of them started talking techniques. James still had the snitch clutched in his hand tightly. Lily stood back, watching the excited little boy twinkle in James' eyes as he spoke candidly with his all-time favorite player.

After a quick lunch with the team, where James practically hung on every single word that David Kelley said, the team was back out for practice and drills. James and David Kelley practiced Kelley's signature move where he'd go into a sharp roll and do this kind of tumble while catching the snitch or avoiding a bludger. James was having the best time of his life.

Then he began to feel guilty. Lily had obviously put a lot of thought and effort in planning this date. She had known a lot about his likes, and she had used her connections to bring him together with his hero. He sat on his broom for a moment, watching her as she narrowly avoided one bludger just to fly into another. She shook it off, listening as the chaser, Blanche Velasquez, explained something about maneuvering. Lily seemed to be having a great time as well, but James couldn't help but feel bad about it.

"Cheer up," David Kelley said grinning. "She really likes you."

"What?" James asked.

"Oh, she plays like she doesn't but that's just the game that strong women play," Kelley said laughing. "I married a strong witch myself. She can kick my butt twelve ways to Graceland and back, and still I know she loves me like no other."

"This is our second date," James said making a face. "She was in charge of this date. I really blew out first date."

"Ah, well," Kelley said. "I've never been good at those things. My wife, superb, but me? Social retard, you know?"

"Yeah, me too," James said as he watched Lily successfully avoid the two bludgers. He cheered for her loudly, whistling. She beamed.

Dressed back in their regular clothes, they left the Peruvian Fighting Fish with promises that they would be back to visit them soon. James held David Kelley's bag, a signed gift from the hero himself, with their uniforms folded safely inside. The golden snitch was tucked safely in his pocket, his memento of playing pro, even just for the afternoon. Lily grabbed his arm and apparated away from where they were, stopping in a quiet villa. It was dark now, close to midnight their time.

"Where are we?" James asked. Lily stepped close to James.

"We are in the Villa Nuevo, New Village," Lily said quietly. Her breath tickled his ear. "It is located in the southern part of Spain."

"Why are we here?" James asked. Lily grinned.

"Dinner," Lily said as she nodded toward a little café that was still open. She smiled at him, taking his hand, and leading him inside. They were seated quickly, and hot steaming authentic Spanish dishes were brought to their table. James spent a good bit of time talking, but he didn't dominate the conversation that he was aware of.

"What do you think that you will do one you leave Hogwarts?" James asked as he took a sip of water.

"I've been accepted at several top Auror schools," Lily said as she looked at him. "What about you? What do you think you'd like to do?"

"Honestly? Play Quidditch," James said. Lily laughed.

"Well, you'd be well suited to," Lily said. "You seemed to have really impressed David Kelley, and I know he doesn't impress easily."

"Really?" James asked.

"Yeah, really silly," Lily said playfully. She made a face. "Naturally, I impressed him as well, but not for my Quidditch skills."

It had begun to rain, and despite the warmness of the coastal air, Lily and James found themselves shivering as they ran from the restaurant to the nearest inn. Lily shook her head, disappointed that the rain had spoiled her otherwise perfectly plan. While there was no risk apparating into a rain-drenched area, there was risk trying to apparate out.

"This sucks," Lily said shaking her head as she walked to the little man behind the counter.

"Hola," said the little man.

"Un noche, por favor," Lily said. He nodded and handed her a key. Lily took James by the hand and lead him up the stairs.

"I didn't know you spoke Spanish," James said. Lily laughed.

"I don't. I know like five phrases," Lily said quietly. "One just happens to be '_One night, please'_."

"My, my Lily," James laughed.

"Sod off, James. I plan to use it to back pack through Europe after this year is done while I am on Summer Holiday," Lily said. She laughed and pulled her soaking wet jacket off and hung it over the chair. She repeated with her sweater, leaving her tee shirt clinging rather well to her form. James swallowed nervously. "Don't tell me that this makes you nervous. I'm not catching my death because you are body shy. I don't think you should catch your death either. Surely you've seen worse."

"Ok, but what are you going to change into?" James asked as he slowly pulled off his sweater. Lily reached into her little purse, something James hadn't noticed until that moment. She pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.

"I always carry a spare," she said as she pulled her shirt off, her back turned to him. He about fainted from the sight of her. She peered at him over her shoulder. "You really do need to grow up. It's just my back, and hell… I am even wearing a bra you fool. Surely you've seen the flesh of a woman before?"

"Not you," James said. Lily laughed as she pulled her dry shirt into place.

"No, I imagine you haven't," she said as she pulled her jeans off quickly and pulled the shorts on.

"Won't we get into trouble for not returning to Hogwarts?" James asked as Lily pulled some clothes for James to wear. "Oh, I can't wear that. It's pink."

"No, I sent word to Professor Dumbledore, and it's the only thing I have in here that is big enough to fit you," Lily said. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her wand, waving it over the shirt. It promptly turned blue. "Better?"

"Yeah," James said as he stripped his clothes off. He laughed. "You fancy a look?"

"Uh, no, thanks. I saw enough in the changing room, thank you very much," Lily said. "It's really late, and I think we should just go to sleep."

"Ok," James said as they both pulled the covers back on the bed. "Now, Lily. Just because we are both consenting adults means you have the right to do anything you want with me. We're just friends on a date, you hear? You keep to your side of the bed and no trying to feel me up."

"As if I would!" Lily said shaking her head as she climbed into bed. She laughed.

"Good night, Lily," James said.

"Good night, James," Lily laughed as she rolled to her back and fell asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** This one is not nearly as exciting towards the end as it is in the beginning, but you know that has to happen sometimes.

**Disc.:** Blah. Blah. Blah.

**Chapter Twenty-One**

James walked into the common room slowly, as if trying to sneak in. He knew that no one was going to believe he had been there all night, as his dorm mates had probably waited up to see what kind of date Lily Evans had cooked up for James. James grinned to himself. He couldn't have imagined a better date. If ever he needed confirmation, he had it. Lily was the most perfect woman.

"James," Lily breathed in his ear as she followed him quietly into the common room. He turned quickly, standing face to face with her. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. He felt their softness against his and for a moment he wondered if his would feel dry against hers, since he never used lip balm even when he needed it. He hesitated, not wanting to rush things. She buried her hands in his messy hair, deepening the kiss. Her tongue touching and caressing his own, James' heart rate increased and his found his hands on her face, holding her to him. He leaned into her, eagerly kissing her back. She stepped away.

"Easy there, Potter," Lily said softly as she struggled to catch her breath. She smiled at him. "You… you're a very good kisser."

"I've had a lot of practice," James said quickly without thinking. Lily rolled her eyes.

"That's not exactly something a girl wants to hear, especially after just kissing her," Lily said as James hit himself in the middle of the forehead. She smiled. "I am going to try and catch a few hours of sleep. It will difficult, though."

"Why?" James asked. Lily smirked.

"Oh, I don't know," Lily said as she kissed his cheek. She walked away, heading up the stairs to the girls dormitory. James watched her disappear before he headed up the stairs to his own dormitory. He quietly opened the door, pushing it open as quietly as he could. The room was bathed in darkness. It was nearing seven, and he was thankful that the thick drapes were pulled closed across the windows tightly. James placed his bag on the floor and climbed into bed, removing everything but his boxer shorts.

He was tired, having not been able to sleep at the inn. Lily had slept, he was aware of that, her eyes closed against the night. He had spent the hours memorizing her face, every detail. Her mouth perfectly shaped. She had sighed in sighed in her sleep, rolled towards him. Her arm crossed his body, and there was no way that James was going to be able to get wink of sleep. James tucked an arm behind his head, looking up at the canopy of his bed.

"James?" a voice whispered in the darkness. James tried to ignore it until a huge, shaggy black dog bound on his bed. James groaned as the dog lapped at his face, and James tried to push him away to have Sirius appear on top of him.

"Why must you lick me?" James asked as he wiped his face. Sirius laughed.

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius laughed. "You know you like it."

"Whatever," James laughed.

"Oh, Merlin," Sirius said as James pushed him off. "You reek of her!"

"What?" James said frowning as he lifted his arm and smelled it. Remus climbed in bed with James and Sirius.

"It's not a bad thing," Remus told James. "It's just our super sniffers. You smell strongly of her. It's a beautiful smell, no doubt, but it is the strongest we've smell ever aside from her actual being the source. Kind of curious, how close you two were. You smell like you were rolling around together all night, James. What were you two up to?"

"Better off, where have you been?" Sirius asked. "We stayed up until McGonagall threatened us with detention for the rest of the year."

"I was on my date," James said evasively as he picked lint off his blanket. Sirius pushed him down against the bed and threatened to lick his face again.

"You'd better start talking," Sirius threatened as he stuck his tongue out. "I'll start licking and I won't even change over to do it."

"Fine, fine," laughed James as he struggled to sit again. "Ok."

"Good," Sirius said as he let James up. "Oh, and put some pants on will you? I don't want to catch a sneak peak of Little James." James pulled on his sweatpants that Remus had retrieved from the floor and climbed back under his blanket between Sirius and Remus.

"She took me to Peru and I met…" James started. He went through every little detail of the day before, recanting his time with Lily. Sirius and Remus listened candidly. James was excited as he talked about the day. He showed the other the snitch, the uniform, and the other things from the night. When he was done talking, he sat back.

"Wow," Sirius said.

"I told you she wouldn't do anything evil," Remus said crossing his arms against his tee-shirted chest.

"Like hell she didn't," Sirius said. Remus and James looked at him in confusion.

"What are you getting on about?" James asked.

"Well, think about it," Sirius said. "You give it your all, and you fall painfully short. She seemingly does nothing and she is victorious. You look like a jerk now. She gave you the date of a life time and you gave her the worst date of her life."

"Shit," James said. "You're right."

"Don't listen to him," Remus said quietly. "He's just jealous that he didn't get to meet the Peruvian Fighting Fish."

"Hell, I'll admit it whole heartedly, I'm jealous," Sirius said. "She's perfect. I'd love to date her. But it doesn't change the fact that you gave her the date from hell and she gave you the most perfect day imaginable."

"I hate to say it, but Sirius has a point," Remus said quietly. James rolled his eyes.

"Wow, you changed sides quick there, man. I'll make it up to her, some way," James promised. The three sat in silence.

"You have to admit though, she's pretty cool to think of the thing you'd love most of all," Sirius said grinning. "Man, why can't I find a girl like that?"

"She's definitely one of a kind," James said. Remus nodded.

"Man, I'm starving," Sirius said suddenly breaking another silence that had stretched between them. "Let's go grab some grub."

Dressed, the three left their dormitory, not even bothering to wake Peter who was drooling copiously on his pillow. They strutted into the great hall, their gaze fixed on the Gryffindor table. Early morning light poured in the window, bathing Lily in a glow. She was reading a book. Sirius grinned at James, raising his eyebrows.

"So, Lily," Sirius said as he took one of the seats across from her. She didn't look up, just continued to read and eat. "We heard about the wonderful date that you and James had."

"Mmhm," Lily murmured as she turned the page.

"So, we were wondering when you were planning to introduce us to the Peruvian Fighting Fish," Sirius asked as he glanced at Remus and James. Lily sighed and turned the page, not responding.

"I know we just had our second date," James said as he began to load eggs up on his plate. "I was wondering when you thought you'd be willing to let me have another crack at a date with you. You know, with me planning and it? I think I could do better."

"When?" Lily asked looking up at him. James swallowed nervously.

"What?" James asked.

"When would you want to go on the next date?" Lily asked. She glanced down at her watch. "Look, just think about it and let me know. I've got a meeting with the tutors in ten minutes."

Lily stood. She finished her drink and scooped up her backpack. She waved at them as she headed out of the great hall. James looked at Remus and Sirius, shrugging and started working on his breakfast.

Lily stood in the prefects meeting room, looking at the tutors that had agreed to meet. Severus Snape sat in the chair closest to her, listening as Lily went over the different aspects of the tutoring that they should be doing. She excused the other tutors and told them she would post their lists by the next Tuesday. Lily remained in the meeting room, going over her own methods for tutor.

"Hey, Lily," Severus said as he came and sat down on the edge of her desk. Lily looked up at him frowning.

"Yes?" Lily said.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked. She nodded.

"Only if you get off my desk like that," Lily said as she pointed to a chair. Severus reluctantly pulled himself off the edge of the desk and took one of the seats near the fire. Lily joined him, sitting a few chairs from him.

"I was wondering, Lily, if you'd like to go on a date with me?" Severus said. Lily shook her head.

"I don't think so, Severus," Lily said. "I'm dating James right now.'

"That pompous, arrogant prick," Severus growled.

"Be that as it may, he can be very sweet," Lily said. "I really like him a lot."

"More than you like me?" Severus asked as he moved closer to her, his hand resting on her hand. Lily hesitated.

"I like him differently. You're a good friend to me, Severus, but I'm not attracted to you," Lily said carefully as she moved away from him. She stood and crossed the room.

"And Potter?" Severus asked. "Are you attracted to Potter?"

"I…" Lily said as she hesitated. "I really like him a lot. I can see myself being with him."

"That's not fair, Lily," Severus said as his temper rose. "I would have given you the world."

"I know that, Severus," Lily said as she felt him move closer. She cringed as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you Lily," Severus whispered. His mouth was close to her ear.

"I don't love you," Lily said as she pulled away. "I don't think that you and I should be alone together anymore, Severus. I'm sorry. You've made it impossible for us to just be friends, and it is kinder this way."

Severus' dark eyes flashed with fury but he nodded stiffly and left the meeting room. Lily shivered at the cool air that seemed to have taken over the room. She extinguished the fire and left the room, closing the door behind her.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **Ooh, such fun. Such excitement! Thank you so much for all the reviews… you know I love them! Some of you will love this, some not so much… R/R!

**Disc.:** If I created the world of magic, I would be all powerful! Since I can't even fly, we have to assume I didn't create the world of magic. I did, however, create these scenes with bad spelling/grammar and all.

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Lily was sitting casually at a table in the library. James, Sirius, and Remus had just walked into the library to start working on planning James' second attempt at a date. They figured that between the three of them, they should be able to figure up something perfect for her. Sirius put his arm out to stop the other two for going any further. Remus and James looked to where Sirius had nodded. They watched as she wrote something on a piece of parchment carefully.

"Do you think she is penning another letter to her boyfriend?" Sirius teased in a whispered voice.

"She still hasn't given me the last one," James said shaking his head.

"Have you asked her to be your girlfriend?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow suspiciously at James. James grinned and shook his head again. He went to open his mouth and say something when Lily's giggling shattered the silence. They looked over at her, reading what she had just written looking mighty satisfied. She was holding the parchment in her right hand, a quill in her left hand.

"Hey, she has my quill," Sirius said as he pushed through and marched over to the table where she was sitting. He threw himself into a chair beside her. "Lily Evans, that's my quill."

"Yeah, it is," Lily said grinning as she held on to it.

"Well, can I have it back?" Sirius asked. Lily twirled it in her hands as she watched James and Remus coming to sit down at the table with her.

"Where's Alice?" Remus asked. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Off with Frank," Lily said. "Doing whatever the two of them do in your room when they are alone."

"My quill," Sirius reminded her.

"Alright, alright," Lily said as she held it out to him. "I was just having a good time with it."

"When did Lily take your quill?" James asked Sirius. Lily grinned.

"Like the first week of school," Lily said. "He was tapping it here in the library irritating everyone." Understanding lit the boys' eyes.

"This is my favorite quill," Sirius said as he held the quill in his hand. Lily smirked.

"As if," Lily laughed. Sirius pulled the parchment toward him.

"What in the world is this," Sirius asked as he begun to glance at the parchment.

"It was supposed to be my paper for Transfiguration," Lily said grinning. Sirius shook his head, and begun to write on the parchment. He burst out laughing.

"What in the world happened to my quill," Sirius asked as he pushed the quill and parchment towards James. He looked down at what should have been a serious paper written about the theory of human transfiguration. Instead, the paper was full of smart-mouth comments, insults, and obscenities. James laughed.

"Well, I don't think you ought to turn this in to McGonagall for your paper," James said. Lily shook her head.

"I wasn't going to. I actually pulled out my own quill and wrote it already. I had a great time with it though," Lily said. Sirius nodded.

"A little creation of Marauders Incorporated," joked James. Lily grinned.

"So, what brings you three to the library?" Lily asked as she crossed her arms.

"We were coming down here to plan our next date," James said. "I screwed it up so much last time, that I thought that I'd get some help. Granted that I don't think I could do as great of a job as you, but still, I have to try."

"It's not a competition, James," Lily said shaking her head. James nodded.

"I know," James said. "I just want it to be perfect."

Lily didn't say anything further, just retrieved another quill from her bag. She began writing on the parchment, disappointed that what she wrote remained as she wrote it. She sighed, and took the smarty quill from Sirius with an apologetic smile.

"I'll buy you a new quill," Lily said as Sirius tried to take it back from her.

"Give me my quill," Sirius laughed as he tried to wrestle it away from her. Without warning, she bolted out of the library with the quill in her hand, laughter trailing behind her. James sighed and shook his head.

"I'll go get it," James said. "You start working on some ideas for my date with Lily."

James ran out of the library, calling after her. He was met with laughter as she continued to run from him. She ducked down the hallway near the room of requirement, and James picked up his speed. If she disappeared into the room of requirement, he might not be able to follow her. She slipped through a door and James slipped in just before the doorway disappeared.

"Lily?" James asked as he stood in the middle of what looked like any ordinary room. "Lily, give me the quill."

"Come and get it from me," she laughed as she stood beside the fireplace. The room was stifling warm, causing a sweat to bead up on James' brow. He wiped his forehead quickly with the back of his hand. James laughed and ran to where she was standing, just for her to slip away from him just in time.

"What's your fascination with Sirius' quill," James asked suggestively. "You've seen one quill, you've seen them all."

"Are we talking quills or are we talking _quills_?" Lily smirked. James ran at her again, catching her off guard. His hands encircled her wrist and he pulled her against him.

"I caught you," James laughed. Lily grinned.

"You certainly did," Lily said as she bit her bottom lip slightly as she looked up into his warm, hazel eyes. "I guess you deserve a prize."

"Good," James said as bent down and pressed his lips to her. He released her wrist and pulled away.

"You are always trying to push things with me," Lily laughed. She handed him the quill and crossed her arms. "I guess that I'll catch you later."

"Your birthday," James blurted out. Lily turned around with a dumbstruck look.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Your birthday," James said. "I want to do something special for your birthday."

"No," Lily said shaking her head. "I'm not a fan of birthdays."

James watched her leave. He headed straight back to the library. He had heard her, but still it seemed perfect. He would throw her the best birthday party ever possible. He had to move quickly since her birthday was just a week away. James went over his idea with Sirius and Remus, omitting the part where she said she wasn't a fan of birthdays. He knew most girls dreaded getting older, especially publicly.

"You know, that is a really great idea," Sirius said as he nodded. "I don't think she's ever had a birthday here before. I mean we all have these big parties, but I don't think she's ever had one."

"Are you sure she'd be ok with this?" Remus asked cautiously.

"She's not a fan of birthdays," James said honestly. "But she's never had a birthday party thrown by the Marauders."

"We should limit to seventh years, and invite the other houses," Sirius said. "It might be fun."

"That means Slytherin," Remus said. Sirius and James cringed, but they knew it was true.

"Don't tell Alice," Sirius said. "She'll leak it to Lily."

"Where?" James wondered aloud to no one in particular. A smile crossed his face. "I know the perfect place. The room of requirement, that way we won't have Slytherins all up in our common room. We'll get Frank to bring Alice, and then have Peter bring Lily."

"Perfect," Sirius said.

_Her birthday. It was a day to celebrate the end of a rather long and painful labor that ended in the birth of a tiny, sickly baby with tiny fists, followed by the birth of another. Born six weeks early, the Evans twins weren't expected to make it. With muggle medicine so inferior to magical medicine in that day and age, it wasn't surprising that the boy died within the first hours of his life. It was Lily's birthday, but it also marked the day of death for her older brother, Liam._

_Lily's parents tried to make it a day of happiness for Lily, but she had always felt as if a part of her was missing, so on her tenth birthday her parents finally told her of the passing of her brother. They had reveled in one while mourning for the other. From that day on, Lily swore to never have a birthday again. It was, in her heart, disrespectful for Liam. _

Lily pulled out the pictures her parents had given her. The pictures were old and contained two tiny, nearly identical babies. Both had the same color hair and eyes. For someone who would die within hours of taking the picture, in Lily's opinion her brother looked perfect. They were on the small side, yes, but the infants clung to each other, hand in hand. She didn't know if it was true or not, but Lily liked to believe she was holding her big brother's hand when he died.

"Lily?"

Lily looked up to see Peter standing there nervously. Lily realized she was still in the common room, having not quite headed to bed yet. She had been planning to go to bed early, to sleep the rest of the day away if she could. It was nearly six, almost dinner time. She wasn't planning on even going down to dinner.

"Yes, Peter?" Lily asked wiping her cheek with her hand as he remained standing.

"I hate to bother you, because I know you're not on duty tonight, but I can't manage to find a single prefect," Peter said. Lily stored the pictures between the pages of the book she was reading.

"It's ok," Lily said as she stood. "What's up, Peter?"

"It's just that I saw something suspicious," Peter said dramatically. "Some students looked like they were up to no good."

"Ok, where?" Lily said as she tucked the book up under her arm. Peter led Lily out of the common room.

"There were a few very shady looking characters entering this door up here," Peter whispered as he pointed toward the door. Lily handed him the book and pulled out her wand.

"Hang on to this for me, please," Lily breathed as she pressed her finger to her mouth. She crept close to the door. She pushed the door open, wand drawn. She peered into the unnaturally dark room. "Hello? Who's in here?"

"Surprise!" the room shouted as the lights came on, flooding the room with light. Lily shielded her eyes with her arm as Peter stepped up behind her.

"What?" Lily said stupidly.

"Happy Birthday!" They cheered. Lily blinked her eyes, glancing around at all of the seventh year students holding drinks up in celebration to Lily. She looked stupefied.

"I… I don't understand," Lily said as Alice embraced her.

"Everyone has come together to celebrate your birthday," Alice whispered to Lily. "I didn't know, otherwise I would have warned you. That is probably why I didn't know. They didn't know about your issue with your birthday."

"I'll be ok," Lily promised as she pulled away.

"No hogging the birthday girl," Sirius said as he pulled Lily into a giant hug. "Ah, you're all mine for ten seconds!"

"Easy there, Sirius," Remus warned as Sirius wiggled his eye brows at her.

"I can control myself," Sirius said indignantly as he kissed her cheek. He passed her to James.

"Hey there," He said as he kissed her cheek. "I invited the Slytherins but they didn't seem interested in coming, aside from Severus."

"What, Potter? No Snape?" Severus sneered as he hugged Lily next. He kissed her cheek. "I actually have patrol and can't stay, but since I've never been to your birthday before, I wanted to at least wish you a happy birthday."

"T-thanks," Lily stammered. She watched him leave. "Wow, James."

"Do you like it? Were you surprised?" James asked hopefully. "I mean I know this isn't a proper date or anything, and I will plan one of those, but I wanted to do something special for you."

"I… I was very surprised," Lily said nodding. "Thank you."

"I know you said you're not a fan," James said quickly as he put his arm around her waist. "I just thought that if I gave you the greatest birthday party ever, you would change your mind about birthdays."

"A party, however wonderful it is, won't change my mind," Lily said simply as she stepped away from him. James looked crestfallen, but his manly pride told him to suck it up, and enjoy the party. He laughed along with students from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and his own Gryffindor. He glanced at Lily from time to time; she looked like she was really forcing herself to have a good time.

"She doesn't look really happy to be here," James told Sirius as Alice and Frank joined them at the food table. Peter glanced over at Lily.

"She looks happy to me. She's smiling," Peter said.

"She's forcing it," James said slightly disappointed.

"James," Alice said shaking her head. "Lily hates her birthday. This party is beautiful, but it doesn't change the fact that Lily's birthday reminds her of her brother's death."

"Her brother?" James asked as he looked over at Lily. A Ravenclaw boy was talking to Lily, his mouth near her ear. "I knew she had a sister. I didn't know she had a brother."

"Her twin," Alice said quietly. "They were born too early and he died. She lived and he died, on their birthday."

"Oh," James said shaking his head. "Damn, I've screwed it up again!"

"No, you haven't," Alice said as she pushed him toward Lily. "Go save her from Jimmy Peterson and take her for a quiet walk just the two of you."

James strolled over to Lily with two drinks in his hand. The Ravenclaw boy exited with just a single silent look from James. He handed Lily the drink and the two stood in silence. Lily shifted slightly, her arm brushing against James' arm. His mind whirled with scenarios of what he should do.

"Hey, I know this is your party, but do you want to go for a walk, just the two of us?" James asked quietly. "I don't think anyone would mind."

"That'd be great," Lily said as she sipped her drink. James took her hand and led her out of the room of requirement. Once in the hallway, he didn't drop her hand. Instead, he led her through the corridors to the astronomy tower. Together, they sat on the platform used by the astronomy student, Lily tucked under his arm.

"I just want to say that I'm sorry, Lily," James said quietly. "I didn't know about your brother."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Lily said shaking her head.

"I don't understand how I can be so cool and suave around everyone else, but around you I commit every social blunder possible," James said. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You can't blame me for your social retardation," Lily said lightly. He chuckled.

"I really like you," James breathed in her ear, his forehead rest against the side of her head.

"I like you too, James," Lily said. She felt his lips caress the side of her neck, making her shiver. She turned her face to look at him, allowing his mouth to travel along her neck and jaw line to her mouth. The kiss, while simple, was charged with the tension of all of the years that James and Lily had played cat and mouse.

"Lily, maybe we should go back," James breathed as they found themselves falling backwards toward the ground. His hands cradled her head, her fingers on the nape of his neck.

"Soon," Lily breathed as they continued to kiss. James looked down at her, the nearly full moon spilling its milky glow on two. He felt as if his stomach was on fire, a fire that burned from behind his belly button all the way south. He could tell from the look in her eyes that Lily felt the same burning desire.

"It's snowing," James breathed in between kisses, the fluffy snowflakes melting on contact as they rested on the bare skin of his back. He hadn't even been aware of removing his shirt, his arms were now bare. He could feel himself pressing against her, desiring her like had never desired anyone before.

"It's only snow," Lily had replied as she pulled him closer. For a moment, he could picture them together, making love out in the open with snow falling all around. They were already breathing fairly hard, and tiny whimpering sounds were escaping from both of them when they least expected it. James could picture Lily giving herself to him completely, and she would have. He knew it without a doubt; she would give herself to him.

"We have to stop, Lily," James groaned painfully as he rolled away from her. His bare back burned with the icy coldness of the snow.

"You don't want to?" Lily asked as she struggled to regain control over her body. She pushed herself up on one arm, looking at the definition of his chest chiseled from the endless hours of training.

"Psht! You know I want to," James laughed. "As it is, I need a cold shower and a little alone time with _Little James_. I just remember you want to wait until we are married, and I intend to tempt you like hell from now until then."

"We're not getting married," Lily said shaking her head and laughing.

"Not yet, but one day," James said as he stood. He offered her his hand, helping Lily to her feet. She handed him his shirt.

"You sure are mighty confident of yourself, James," Lily said as she watched him pull the shirt back on his body.

"I figure," James said as he took Lily's hand. "I still haven't even asked you to be my girlfriend. What kind of girl would it make you?"

"Easy," Lily agreed.

"Yup," James said. He grinned at her. "So, do you?"

"Do I what, James?" Lily asked.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, Lily," James asked. "Exclusively?"

"I have been waiting for you to ask me since you came back to Hogwarts," Lily said nodding. "Yeah, I want to be your girlfriend."

"Fantastic," James said. "Why don't we head back to the room of requirement for cake? By now, all that should be left is our fellow Gryffindor friends. Then Sirius and Remus can joke about smelling the heat of you on me."

"Gross," Lily laughed as the two of them headed down the stairs from the Astronomy tower. They had been so caught up in their selves that they hadn't noticed a dark figure standing in the shadows the entire time that they were together. The figure remained hidden until the footsteps died down and only the snowy silence consumed the Astronomy tower.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**: So, anyways… anyway. Thanks for pointing out the whole gender mistake wording thing. I guess I should be paying more attention. Oh, there are plenty of errors in this one… and some crude humor, but that's boys for you. Sorry it's taking so long to update (longer than usual). I'm working on two stories at the same time, so it seems that one always suffers in the updates.

**Disc.:** This, I am borrowing for my own entertainment (the characters). _ALL ERRORS_ are mine. Oops.

**Chapter Twenty Three**

The seventh year students had decided the best way to keep the younger kids in line was for the seventh year Gryffindor students to take up permanent residence in the common room, their books spread over the prime tables and the best chairs taken. They had midterms coming up and the noise of the littler kids was getting annoying even in small doses. Alice and Frank were hunched over one book, trying to figure out a transfiguration theory. James and Sirius, while supposed to be studying switching potions, they were playing tic-tac-toe.

"Lily, I am so sorry," Remus was saying as he followed the girl into the common room. James looked up to see them walking towards them. Lily was holding ice to her forehead.

"What happened?" James asked curiously.

"Stupid Peeves threw a piece of armor at Lily," Remus said as he moved the ice to look at Lily's forehead. A knot was forming above her eye.

"Then why are you sorry?" James asked as he took a look at it. Lily laughed.

"Tell him, Remus," Lily pressed. Remus blushed.

"I screamed… like a girl," Remus said.

"And…?" Lily encouraged.

"And ran the other way," Remus said scowling. "That stupid poltergeist scares me." James and Sirius laughed.

"What I wouldn't have given to see that," Sirius laughed as he clutched his sides. Lily shook her head.

"It was weird, though, because usually Peeves is proud of his attacks on students, and normally he avoids attacking prefects," Lily said as took a seat. Lily yawned.

"Yeah, I thought so too," Remus said. "It wasn't Peeve's normal MO but what else could it have been?"

"I doubt that the suits of armor would throw themselves at me," Lily said. James grinned.

"I would if I was a suit of armor," James said. Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"You're so corny," Lily said. She stretched. "Well, I'm heading up to bed."

"You can't," Alice said quickly as she looked up from her book. Lily frowned. "You can't go to sleep. What if you have a concussion or something?"

"Alice has a point," Remus said. Lily scrunched her nose.

"But I'm tired," Lily whined. Sirius laughed.

"Too bad, so sad," Sirius said. Lily crossed her arms and sat back against the chair, pouting. "You'd better put the ice back on your head, Lils. You'd hate to get all bruised up and ugly."

"James would still want her," Remus reminded as Lily rolled her eyes again and placed the bag against her forehead. She was grumbling under her breath.

"Do you want to study with us for mid terms?" James asked. Lily shook her head.

"I said that I was tired," Lily grumbled. James shook his head.

"You really must have a concussion, if you don't want to study," James said. Lily made a face at him and stuck out her tongue as Professor McGonagall came in the common room.

"So I see the complaints are true," Professor McGonagall said shaking her head. "With the Heads involved too… for shame."

"What'd we do now?" James asked as he glared at the little group of first years that were standing near Professor McGonagall.

"You're taking up prime studying real-estate when you know the first years are not allowed out of the common room earlier than you," Professor McGonagall said. The boys looked at one another, shrugging.

"She means we need to find another place to study," yawned Lily as she stood. James caught her by the hand as she tried to head off to the girls dormitory.

"Not so fast," James said shaking his head. "We're moving his little studying party to the seventh year boys' dormitory."

"Man," Lily grumbled as she watched the others scoop their books and papers under Professor McGonagall's watchful eye, occasionally tossing a scathing glare at the little first years that were still cowering near the ankles of the formidable woman.

The boys' dormitory was clean, for a change, and the boys conjured up oversized poufs for everyone to sit on while they studied. James was sitting in the pouf closest to his bed, his back leaning against the frame. Lily walked to the window, looking out as the others went back and forth with techniques and theories. James looked over at Lily, who was sitting by the window.

"Hey, whatcha looking at?" James asked as he came up next her. Lily sighed.

"Nothing," Lily said as she stood. She looked at James, her arms behind her back as she struggled with her bra. "This damn thing is so uncomfortable sometimes, you know."

"No, I don't know," James smirked as Lily pulled a lacy white bra from her now disheveled button up dress. She laughed and folded it up, placing it next to her.

"Well, trust me, they are," Lily said yawning. "Alice, when do you think I can just go to bed or something? When do you think that I am no longer at risk for a concussion?"

"A few more hours," Alice said distractedly as she checked a theory against what she had written.

"Don't you need to study?" Peter asked quietly as he frantically flipped through his Magical Maladies and Potions book.

"It's Lily Evans," Sirius laughed. "What do you think? She's memorized every book in the magical world."

"No, I haven't," Lily said shaking her head as she headed away from James. "What do you need help with Peter?"

"Everything, as usual," Peter sighed dejectedly. Lily sat down on the floor next to him and pulled the book from Peter's lap.

"Ok, let's start from the beginning," Lily said. She quietly went over the different theories and methodologies. Peter listened carefully, trying to keep his eyes off any part of Lily except her face. James shot him a look, the fat little boy's face turning pink. Peter shifted another one of his books over his lap, completely unnoticed by Lily.

Lily stood finally, stretching. She mentioned something about snacks, much to Sirius' appreciation. Sirius jumped up and offered to join Lily on the trip down to the kitchens. Lily nodded glad that she wouldn't have to carry back all that the others were asking for on her own. She glanced at James, who seemed to be watching her carefully.

"Would you rather come or go?" Lily asked. James shook his head.

"No, just…" James said as his cheeks went pink.

"It's the bra thing, isn't it?" Lily asked. James shook his head again. "Look, I have a tee shirt on under this dress shirt, and it's not like I'm going around shaking them in anyone's face."

"I wouldn't mind," Sirius teased. James rolled his eyes.

"Should you be wandering around with a concussion?" James asked. Lily laughed.

"I don't have a concussion," Lily said. "I'm tired, cranky, and such, but I don't have concussion. Why don't you just go, ok?"

"No, it's ok," James said. "I was being silly."

"Fine, well," Lily said. "I'll go get the snacks with Sirius and then I am going to go take a long, hot shower."

"Wouldn't a cold one be better?" Sirius teased as the two headed out of the dormitory.

"Not everyone walks around with a massive hard-on in their pants," Lily smirked as she closed the door.

"You noticed, did you?" Sirius laughed loudly.

James looked over at Remus, who shrugged. Frowning, James looked back at his books, scribbling notes and wondering what was taking them so much time. James figured it was ten minutes down to the kitchens, five minutes to get through the house elves, and then ten minutes back to the dormitory. So, when thirty minutes passed, James began to get worried. Forty minutes passed, James began pacing the room and straining to hear the sounds of footsteps on the stairs.

"Where have you…" James started as the door opened and the two of them entered the dormitory room. Sirius was struggling under a heavy tray of food, glaring at Lily who was covered from head to toe in some creamy color substance.

"You could have charmed this lighter for me," Sirius said as he practically dropped it on the small table Remus had conjured.

"You could have refrained from coating me in pudding," Lily said shaking her head.

"For the last time, I told you that I didn't do it," Sirius said. Lily looked at him skeptically. She shook her head, her face red with anger and embarrassment.

"You and I were the only ones in that hallway outside of the kitchen," Lily said pulling out her wand. "I'm heading to the shower."

With that, Lily was gone with a trail of pudding following her out the door. James looked at Sirius who was now readying to eat some thick piece of chocolate cake, Sirius conjuring a fork and a plate to eat them. Sirius looked at James, his mouth full of cake.

"I swear, I don't know how she got covered with pudding," Sirius said as little crumbs sprayed. Peter screwed his face up, disgusted. "She was walking behind me."

"Peeves?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "I didn't hear or see him."

"I'll talk to the Bloody Baron tomorrow about him," James said as he helped himself to some lemon bar thing. "Too bad Lily left. I was looking forward to eating desert off of her."

"With, you mean?" Peter said. James grinned and shook his head.

"Nope, I meant off," James said. The others laughed as Peter just looked painfully confused.

They all looked up, glad to see that Lily had returned. She was still damp and warm from her shower, shivering slightly in her shorts and tank top as she walked into the room. She stood at the tray, frowning then looked over at Sirius.

"You ate my cake," Lily said.

"No, I'm eating your cake," Sirius said. Lily frowned again.

"Boy, you'd better give me my cake or I'll turn you into a Slytherin jock strap," Lily threatened. Sirius stopped mid bite and put the fork down. Lily stalked over to Sirius and took the plate from him. He pouted and Lily shook her head, climbing into James' bed.

"Don't get crumbs in the bed," James mumbled as he flipped the page. Lily didn't answer him as she pulled out her wand and conjured a thick book, it landing softly on the bed next to her. Occasionally, she would answer questions that her friends had about theories but mostly she read alone in James' bed.

Some point after midnight, the seventh years called it quits and decided to head off to bed. One by one, they packed up their books and stood, stretching. Alice glanced over at Lily, laughing. Lily had fallen asleep, the book still open. James walked over to his bed, closed the book, and shook her shoulder.

"Hmm-mn," Lily mumbled as she rolled over away from the edge, clutching James' pillow. "Go away."

"Lily, you have to wake up and go to bed," James said.

"I'm in bed," Lily groaned as she snuggled deeper in the covers.

"You're in my bed," James said. "You need to go to your bed."

"I hate you," Lily mumbled as she made a rude gesture over her shoulder. She didn't even roll over.

"You love me," James whispered in her ear. "Now, you do need to go to your own bed because I've been sitting here for hours undressing you with my eyes for hours. If I have to share a bed with you I would be tempted."

"So?" Lily breathed with a shiver.

"So," James said as his hand touched her shoulder. He kissed her neck.

"Fine," Lily sighed as she rolled over to look at him. "I'd not say no, though." James made a pained face.

"I know," James said reluctantly. "Come on, girly girl. Outa my bed, ok?"

"One of these days James," Lily said as she stretched; now standing in front of him. "I'm not going to offer. I am going to take."

"Not until our wedding night," James said as though he was losing his reserve. Lily smiled and kissed his mouth, her body pressed against his.

"So you say now," Lily taunted. "I bet if you found me splayed upon your bed in my birthday suit, you'd not say no."

"I'd not say no either!" Sirius cheered. Lily laughed.

"Good night boys," Lily said waving as she joined Alice.

"Fucking tease!" Sirius called as the door closed behind them. Sirius looked at James who was in the process of stripping his shirt off. Sirius tossed James a tube of Master Alaster's Knobbing Lube.

"What's this for?" James asked as he held up the half-used tube.

"Your hand," Sirius smirked. "Don't forget a silencing charm."

James rolled his eyes and threw the tube back to Sirius before climbing into bed. James was tempted, certainly, but any _knobbing _he'd do, he'd do it alone when no one else would know about it. He tended to get… _ahem_… loud, even when alone. James clicked the light out by his bed and gazed at the ceiling for a while before he realized that he was way too worked up to sleep.

"Where are you going?" Sirius mumbled as James pulled on his tee shirt.

"For a walk," James whispered in the darkness.

"Do you want company?" Sirius asked. He snickered. "I can lend you a _hand_."

"Better watch out," James taunted. "I might take you up on that one of these days."

"Why don't you and Lily just do it?" Sirius asked as he propped himself up on his arm. James pulled out his wand and the Marauder's map.

"She told me a while back she wanted to wait until she got married," James said as he sat on the edge of Sirius' bed. "I'm just trying to respect that, even though she keeps acting like she wants it now."

"Awe, to be so desired," Sirius laughed. "Have a nice walk and here you go, lover boy. Love yourself, you smell like you're in heat."

"Hey," James squealed as Sirius slipped the tube in his pocket. "You could have just handed it to me."

"You know me," Sirius chuckled. "Always pushing boundaries."

James headed out of the dormitory and through the common room. Activating the map, James took a peek around the castle. Every little dot and label was in their dormitory rooms where they belonged. James was about to put the map away when he saw too dots far from where they ought to be at this early morning hour. Pulling on his cloak of invisibility, James took off toward the Divination Room. He slowed his pace and regained control over his breathing. He crept along as he heard voices up ahead.

"That's not exactly what I meant," a voice whispered in a barely audible voice. James recognized the voice immediately as Severus Snape's voice.

"I wasn't exactly aiming straight, you know. There were other people always there to contend with," the other person said. James frowned. Narcissa Black and Severus Snape, while both Slytherin, James didn't picture them as the type to meet in a secluded staircase in the middle of the night.

"That's alright, Cissy," Severus said. James couldn't see them, so he had to imagine what was going on.

"What's that?" Narcissa breathed excitedly.

"That is phase two," Severus told her. "Fool proof."

"Is it what I think it is?" Narcissa asked. Severus must have nodded, James decided, because Narcissa continued to talk. "But how did you get it? Isn't it rare?"

"Rare only because it is illegal in this strength," Severus said. Narcissa laughter echoed quietly in the barren stairwell. "This is pure, undiluted and very, very potent."

"So how do you plan on… you know?" Narcissa asked.

"Don't you worry about it," Severus said. "It's already in the process of being distributed."

"Is there any danger of it coming back to you?" Narcissa asked. James could hear them coming closer, and he panicked as he backed down the stairs.

"No," Severus said as James, hidden under his cloak, pressed against the wall to keep from being detected. "No one will ever know it was me that is except for you. You need to be careful though because there is no antidote."

"Is it really that dangerous?" Narcissa asked.

"No unless you mind a filthy Gryffindor squirming between your legs, Cissy," Severus Snape said as the two of them disappeared around the corner. James was tempted to follow them but Mrs. Norris had appeared, her piercing yellow eyes trained on James. James wasn't slated for patrol, and would be hard pressed to explain being out of bed at this hour to Filch if he was found.

Running for his life, James ran back to the Gryffindor common room and headed up to his dormitory, flicking on the lights. Sirius groaned loudly as James threw himself into the bed, panting hard.

"Jeeze, Prongs," Sirius said pushing him away. "You're all hot and sweaty, and panting like crazy. You couldn't finish up before climbing into my bed?"

"No," James panted, gasping for breath.

"You want me to finish you off?" Sirius asked frowning. James shook his head hard.

"No, Snape," James gasped, a stitch in his side.

"You want Snape to finish you off? Kinky," Sirius said. "He wouldn't need lube, just rub his hair with his hand."

"No, he's up to no good," James said breathlessly as he finally caught his breath.

"When is he not?" Sirius said. James quickly retold the whole story. Sirius frowned, listening as Remus listened silently from his own bed. Even Frank was listening. The only other sound in the dorm was the rhythmic snores of Peter.

"So, we need to be worried, don't we?" Frank asked. James shrugged.

"I just don't know," James said. "I didn't see what Snape had. I just heard them talking."

"You don't think it has to do with his sick obsession with Lily, do you?" Remus asked quietly. James frowned.

"He's obsessed with Lily?" James asked.

"Didn't you know?" Remus asked. "They've known each other since they were eight."

"No," James said frowning. "She's never mentioned much about anything like that."

"They had a falling out a few months ago, and Lily re-confirmed her lack of desire for him to be more than friends not too long ago," Remus said shaking his head. "How can you not know this about your girlfriend?"

"I don't know," James said. He shook his head. "You don't think he'd hurt her do you?"

"I don't know," Remus said shrugging. "I've never seen him inclined to violence, you know."

"Well, I'm worried," Sirius said shaking his head. "Who knows what that sadistic bastard is up to? I mean we can be mean, but it's in good fun."

"Should we worn Lily and Alice?" Frank asked. The other boys shrugged.

"I'd hate to worry them if there is nothing to worry about," James said. "Maybe for now, we should just keep an eye on Snape, and your cousin, Sirius."

"Sounds like a plan," the others said. James stretched as he pulled himself off Sirius' bed.

"Well, if you don't mind," James said as he held up the tube Sirius had given him. "I have some things to _hand_le before I head to bed."

"That's my boy!" Sirius laughed. "Always willing to take matters into your own _hands_."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** _Like I told many of you. Once James and Lily start dating, everything skips ahead in my notebook to the summer (which will be FUN), so… I have to 'make this up as I go' to fill in between the creation of their relationship and the summer events. You'll have to forgive the errors and the inconsistencies. Thank you all for your reviews. I am glad many of you found last chapter to be funny. What is life without a little bit of humor? Boring, of course!_

**Disc.:** I am good, not that good though.

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Lily was sitting down on the largest sofa of the common room. It was still rather early and most people slept in on Saturday mornings, and today was the day of love: Valentine's Day. Despite the chill of the castle, Lily felt like she was hot. Her face was flushed, and her heart was pounding slightly. She was relaxed in the way she was leaning back against the arm rest, her skirt and shirt in perfect form. She had a book open, her eyes devouring the page.

"Oh, my," Lily whispered as she squirmed a little in her seat, pressing her knees together. She began to fan herself without even realizing that she was doing it. She leaned forward a little, closer to the ancient book she clutched in her hand. Her eyes danced along the page. "Oh."

The sounds of people slowing waking around her didn't pull her out of her trance. She bit her bottom lip, her eyes trained on the yellowing pages of the picture-less book. She was good in studies, no doubt, and she liked to read but this book was the first ever to erase the sounds of everyone else around her. Alice must have called her name at least a half dozen times since coming down the stairs to the common area.

"Lily!" Alice finally shouted in the auburn haired girl's ear. Lily reluctantly looked up, her skin flushed and glowing.

"Alice?" Lily asked carefully. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Lily, it's like nine thirty in the morning. You left the dormitory over three hours ago," Alice said concerned. Lily glanced at her watch.

"Huh," Lily said shaking her head. "I guess I got caught up in this book a bit."

"I'd say more than a bit," Alice said as she sat down next to Lily. Alice took the book and read the summary on the back. "Doesn't look like anything special to me."

"I don't know," Lily said glancing around a sinfully wicked smile on her face. Lily opened the book to a page she had already read. She pointed at a passage, holding the book while Alice read. The temperamental brown hair girl read the passage slowly, carefully, allowing each word to settle into her brain and take up permanent residence.

"Oh, my," Alice said as color rose in her cheeks. She, too, squirmed slightly and began to breathe a little more heavily.

"Yeah, I know," Lily said snapping the book shut with a loud pop. It seemed to break the trance that had caused Alice's obviously pleasing discomfort.

"I… I've never read it quite that way before," Alice said as she took one of the Apparation and You pamphlets off the table and began to fan herself.

"Have you ever?" Lily asked curiously. Alice bit her lip.

"Once, but it wasn't with Frank," Alice whispered quickly as she looked up to see the seventh year boys bounding down the stairs. "Don't tell."

"I won't, trust me," Lily said blushing. "Could you imagine _me _discussing_ that_ with Frank?"

"What are you ladies up to this fine morning?" James asked making the girls jump slightly from being startled from their current train of thought. Sirius and Remus both looked at them with slightly confused looks. Lily remembered that their uncanny ability to smell things more strongly would betray her and Alice's obvious condition.

"Alice and I were just leaving," Lily said quickly as she snatched the book up in her left and Alice's hand in her right.

"We were? Right, we were," Alice said quickly as Lily caught Alice's eye. "Bye!"

"I wonder what's up with the girls," Frank said aloud. Peter grunted something that was neither interesting nor intelligible.

"Shall we dine?" Sirius said as he continued to look where the girls had disappeared from. He was still frowning as the boys continued out of the common room in the same direction that Alice and Lily had practically sprinted.

Entering the great hall, the boys cringed. Nearly naked house elves were running around looking as if they had been unwilling forced into tiny cherub uniforms, complete with wings, a quiver, and a bow. The boys did their customary walk past the other tables, ignoring the loud, obnoxious behavior of the Slytherin table. James took his seat beside Lily, not surprised to see the witch buried in the latest copy of The Daily Profit.

"What's that?" James asked as he noticed a medium sized red box with a bow on it. The top was haphazardly shoved back on, as if done so in a hurry.

"Don't look," warned Alice. James looked at her surprised to find the once flushed witch was now tinged a bit green.

"What is it?" James asked. Lily neatly folded the paper and looked at him.

"You don't know?" Lily asked. James shook his head. She pushed it towards him. James opened the box and peered inside. He frowned and reached his hand in; pulling out what looked like a still beating cow's heart.

"What the hell is this?" James asked as he sat there, holding this bloody, beating heart.

"There was a card," Alice said as she gagged slightly.

"It said; '_My heart only beats for you, Love James'_," Lily said dryly as she nudged the blood card open. It looked just like James' handwriting. James shook his head.

"I didn't do this," James said thrusting the bloody heart towards Lily, spraying her with a squirt of blood. Alice covered her mouth and ran like mad from the Great Hall.

"I didn't say you did, James," Lily said as she looked down at her shirt disapprovingly. She pulled out her wand and vanished the blood from her shirt.

"I remember what you said about asinine holidays such as today," James said in an almost panicked voice. Sirius smirked.

"Asinine. You Ass or Mine?" Sirius laughed.

"Which ass? Eight? No Ass Nine," Remus roared. Much to James' confusion, Lily laughed.

"Very good boys," Lily said as she took the beating heart in her hand. She dumped it unceremoniously back into the red box from which it came. "I am so glad that the word is funny."

"You know what other word is funny?" Sirius laughed. Lily raised an eyebrow at him while she wiped her hands clean of the blood. "Asphalt."

"Asphalt?" Remus said screwing his face up. Comprehension flashed in his eyes. "Who's fault?"

"Ass fault," Sirius replied. The two boys were nearly in hysterics at the word play. Sirius knocked his juice over, the thin orange colored liquid spreading across the table carefree. Peter was giggling madly.

"I've got one," Peter giggled. He took a few deep breaths, steadying himself. "Michelangelo."

"Michelangelo?" The others replied in unison. Peter giggled madly, nodding his head.

"Yeah. Who's ho? Michael Angel's Ho," Peter roared with laughter. Lily frowned and shook her head.

"Not funny, Peter," Lily said bored.

"Don't you get it?" Peter asked as his laughter quickly died.

"Yeah, but it doesn't make it funny," Sirius said. Peter pouted.

"I hate you guys," Peter grumbled as he angrily speared his food.

"So, who do you think sent me this lovely heart?" Lily said sarcastically as she prodded the box with her wand to make the heart stop beating. The box had already over flowed with blood and started seeping out from under the lid.

"Snape," James said quickly. Lily laughed.

"Severus? I highly doubt he'd send me a beating heart," Lily laughed as she glanced over at Severus sitting darkly alone in his favorite corner of the Slytherin table. He took that moment to glance up at her. She forced a smile and turned back to James.

"We've heard… rumors," James said carefully. Lily made a face.

"Rumors are just spread by people who have nothing better to do than to talk about other people," Lily chastised. James sighed and nodded.

"Lily," Severus Snape's voice interrupted the happy little Gryffindor group. Lily glanced up to see him standing above James', his eyes trained on Lily as if he didn't see the others sitting there.

"Hello, Severus," Lily said. Severus hesitated before thrusting a small box at Lily.

"I, uh, got this for you," Severus said. Lily opened the box to see the delicate chocolate cauldrons that everyone so eagerly indulged.

"Oh, uh… Severus, thanks, really," Lily said awkwardly. She went to say more, but he had already turned and begun walking away.

"I guess he didn't know how asinine you think this holiday is," Sirius commented.

"You can't eat those," James said quickly as he pulled the box from her hands and tossed them up on the table.

"Damn straight," Remus said.

"I know," Lily sighed as she picked the box up and put it in James's bag that he left on the table.

"You'd be… huh?" James stuttered.

"Lily's allergic to chocolate," Remus said. James made a face.

"Why didn't I know that?" James asked. Lily shrugged as she speared some of her breakfast like Peter had done shortly. She tossed her fork down angrily, it clanging loudly on the plate.

"Do you know what pisses me off? Severus and I have been friends for over ten years, which included countless trips to the hospital for allergic reactions to things like chocolate," Lily said angrily. "You would think he'd know by now."

Lily got up in a huff, not waiting for the answer, and headed out of the great hall. James glanced at the other boys at his table who just shrugged. They continued to eat their breakfast in silence, Remus taking over the duty of reading The Daily Profit.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** _Ok, so this is a little uncomfortable to say. Anyone under the age… 14… 16… should just skip this chapter. It will not really add anything to the plot in the grand scheme of things. The next chapter will be along shortly. Ok, that's the Mommy in me talking. Should you read it anyways, please don't be horribly scarred for life. _

**Disc.:** _Created the plot, not the characters. I own nothing outside of the errors._

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"Please tell me that you're not reading that book again," Alice begged as she threw herself across Lily's bed. Lily looked up with a stupid, pathetic grin.

"But Alice, it's just so…"

"Addicting? Hot? Entrancing? Thrilling?" Alice offered as she propped her head up on one of her arms to look at Lily. Lily nodded.

"Yes, all of the above," Lily said. "Is it so awful?"

"Why read about_ it_, Lily? Why not do _it_?" Alice asked shaking her head. "No one waits anymore. Would you buy a broom without giving it a ride around the block?"

"This isn't about broom, Alice," Lily said exasperatedly. "I want to, I do, but James has it in his head that I want to wait until marriage."

"Where would he get an idea like that?" Alice asked as she raised an eyebrow at her best friend. Lily blushed.

"I kind of told him a while back as a deterrent. I just never thought that I would want to," Lily said. She blushed again. "Then again, I never thought I'd be dating him either."

"Ooh, whatcha reading?" Libby asked as she entered the room, joining Alice on Lily's bed. Lily held up the book so Libby could read the title. "I've never heard of that before."

"How could you have never heard of _Forster Garbus_?" Alice asked shaking her head. Lily smirked.

"Alice's never heard of it either," Lily insisted.

"What's it about?" Libby asked as Jackie and Bridget, the other two girls who shared the room, entered.

"Better than just telling everyone," Alice said cheerfully as she patted the bed next to her so the other girls would join them. "Lily, you ought to read a passage from it."

"Yeah, do it!" Libby cheered clapping her hands.

"I can't," Lily said biting her lip.

"Come on," Bridget and Jackie encouraged.

"You have a great reciting voice," Alice coaxed. "Like a floo sex operator."

"Guys," Lily protested. "You don't understand. If I read this, you could…"

"What? Die?" The girls laughed.

"No, worse," Lily said blushing. She lowered her voice. "The book has a spell on it. If it is read aloud, anyone who hears the words will…"

"Will…" The girls encouraged.

"Will have…" Lily stumbled. Her face was the color of a crimson sunset.

"Spit it out girl," Alice laughed.

"An orgasm," Lily practically whispered. The other girls laughed rowdily.

"Perfect! I haven't had one of those since my days with Sirius Black," Jackie cheered. "Read on, Lily Evans. Make me writhe and moan."

"I can't! This is mortifying!" Lily cried as she covered her face.

"Ah, come on," Alice coaxed. "If you read then I will think of a way that you and James can finally play a game of hide and go seek."

"Hide and go seek?" Bridget said confused. "Why in the world would she want to play such a childish game?"

"She means sex," Jackie explained.

"Ooh, sex!" Bridget cheered clapping her hands excitedly. "Sex with James Potter!"

"Could you stop saying that?" Lily moaned.

"I bet he's hung like a horse!" Jackie chuckled. Alice laughed hysterically, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face.

"I… bet... he's… hung," Alice said in gasping breaths. "Like… a… stag…"

"Alice!" Lily squeaked loudly. Alice laughed again, snorting as she inhaled which sent the girls into a tizzy.

"Maybe you'll be lucky and Sirius will have taught him that thing his does with his tongue," Jackie blurted out. It was too much for Alice who was shaking so hard as she laughed, her arms wrapped around her sides to keep her body from shaking apart.

"What does he do?" Bridget asked innocently.

"This lapping thing, like a dog," Jackie said chuckling. Alice practically screamed from laughter and fell backwards off the bed. Lily laughed as Alice continued her laughing and snorting from the floor. Gasping for breath, the girls righted themselves.

"So, that'd be a no for reading?" Jackie said as she calmed down a bit.

"That'd be a no," Lily said. She checked her watch. "Plus we have like ten minutes until potions and Professor Slughorn is teaching us the theory of counteractive principles."

"You say that like you are familiar," Jackie said. Alice chuckled as the girls climbed free of the bed.

"Lily's an old pro at anything in a book," Alice said as she watched Lily slip the book in her bag. "That's why I know she'll be hooking up with James any day now."

"I already told you," Lily said as the five girls headed out of the dormitory. "He said _'no'_."

"Do you think he is gay?" Bridget wondered aloud. "I mean because you are hot, you know."

"Gee, thanks Bridget," Lily said blushing slightly. "I don't think he is though, the way he goes about the castle cat-calling the girls and what not."

"It could be an act, but you're probably right," Bridget said as they passed through the portrait hole and headed toward the dungeon.

True to his word, Professor Slughorn spent the better part of class going over the theory of counteractive principles. Having already learned more than she'd ever need to know about it, Lily pulled out her book from her bag and placed it over her potions book to read it undetected. It was, as she had said before, a rather entrapping book. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, her arm bumping Remus' arm. She glanced up at him for a second before returning to reading.

"You may want to stop reading that in class," Remus warned her, his mouth near her ear so that Professor Slughorn wouldn't hear him. The slight tickle of his breath mingled with the warmth of his words and the spell of the book nearly had her cry out. She nodded quickly, her hand gripping the table as a last ditch effort to calm down and hang on to her silence.

"Miss Evans," Professor Slughorn said stopping Lily from closing the book. Apparently Remus' action hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Yes, Professor," Lily said in an almost breathless way. She felt a strong pulling sensation in her stomach and bit her lip to stay in control, her teeth piercing the flesh slightly.

"I'm surprised at you, doing other things in my class rather than pay attention. While I know that you have already mastered this theory, perhaps others haven't," Professor Slughorn said as his hand remained on the book, not allowing Lily to close it.

"I'm sorry, professor," Lily barely managed. "May I go to the lavatory?"

"No," Professor Slughorn said shaking his head. "I'm sorry but I think you need to read aloud to the class from the book that you think is more important than counteractive principles."

"Oh, God, please no," Lily moaned slightly.

"It's either that or detention, Miss Evans," Professor Slughorn said rather crankily. "I know you'd hate to give up your perfect record of behavior."

"It's not a good idea, me reading," Lily practically cried out.

"You have a lovely reading voice," Professor Slughorn said as he pulled a stool to the front where everyone in class would have a great view of her reading. Lily reluctantly, painfully, stood and walked to the front of the class. Sitting on the stool, she looked out among her seventh year peers which included most of seventh year Gryffindor and most of Slytherin, since for some ungodly reason they shared many classes together.

"Please, professor," Lily begged quietly. He crossed his arms over his potbelly and looked indifferent.

"You obviously thought it was important enough to read in my class," replied Professor Slughorn as he took a seat at his desk. "So it must be something the rest of the class needs to know more than the counteractive principles theory."

"Oh, God," Lily groaned. She took a deep, calming breath. She couldn't look up at her roommates who were snickering. She shot Alice a dirty look which did nothing to silence the girl.

"_It's_ _not so much that they were together, because they had always been together_," Lily started as she tapped her foot nervously on the stone floor of the dungeon classroom. "_It was something in the awakening that drove a stake through their morals. They had, after all, been raised by the same parents in the wilderness, their own parents killed in battle. No, they weren't siblings, but Rowan and Zoe had been raised as brother and sister. When their surrogate parents perished, they spent the first of many nights alone in each other's arms. They could never seem to get close enough to get warm or to starve off the loneliness they felt. An embrace lead to so much more…_"

Lily looked to Professor Slughorn, pleading with her eyes. He shook his head and gestured for her to continue. To Lily, the room seemed to become unbearably stifling and she loosened her tie a bit, the nervous tapping of her foot increasing in tempo.

"_It wasn't clear who started what first, as the two were never apart_," Lily said trying to keep her breathing easy and not skip ahead to more tantalizing text. "_Zoe had been the first to the watering hole that day, stripping down to nothing before plunging into the water joined shortly by Rowan. Shivering, Zoe swam into his arms, pressing her body against his for warmth. It was in that moment their lips met, as they had before, but deeper. They were of one breath, one mind, and one body. They felt a stirring deep within them… a stirring that lead to Rowan's lips leaving Zoe's lips, traveling the length of her body until they came to rest on a different set of… lips._"

Lily looked up pleadingly, hoping anyone would protest to the reading but each student was attentively listening, leaning forward on their arms and sitting on the edge of their seats. Lily squirmed a little, feeling very much uncomfortable at the state of obvious arousal of several of the male students closest to her, including her own dear friend Remus.

"_It became obvious to the two while they had seen each other's bodies plenty of times before, they had never really taken the time to learn of each other's innermost workings,"_ Lily continued as she shifted slightly leaning forward slightly, her knees clamped together properly. _"What started as a kiss, lead to great discovery as Zoe watched how her nimble fingers stroked the flesh of Rowan's chest, trailed down his stomach, and encircled his… his… penis. With a fist full of him, their kisses deepened as the touched each other, eager to generate the warm, twisty feeling that started behind the navel and slid south between the two teens' legs…"_

"I…" Professor Slughorn breathed in a labored sort of way. "I think that is enough reading for today." He shifted forward in his desk in an almost jerky motion. Lily slammed the book with a loud pop, her face pink with embarrassment. She wanted to die. It was the most embarrassing, horrific thing she had been through.

"Thank God," Lily whispered in a shaky voice as she practically ran to her seat, threw herself down in the chair between Alice and Remus, and buried her head in her arms.

"I am so in the mood," Alice whispered loudly in Lily's ear.

"Me too," Lily muttered back, not lifting her head from where she buried it. "Thank God I didn't have to finish. Could you imagine? One more paragraph and we'd be using Scourgify to clean up the mess."

"Really?" Alice said. Lily popped her head up long enough to give Alice a dirty look.

"Think about it," Lily said. Alice grinned, her cheeks turning pink.

"I was pretty close," Alice nodded thankfully keeping her voice low.

"So was everyone else," Lily moaned burying her head. "It's part of the charm of the book. Simultaneous eruption."

"So, um, Lily," James said from behind her as he leaned forward across his desk and tapping her in the center of her back with the business end of his wand gently. "Do you think you could finish reading that bit to us in the room of requirement?"

"Yes, Lily, please," Sirius practically begged. "It's been months, and one hand hockey isn't much fun."

"Oh, God," Lily groaned as she buried her face deeper in her arms. "I want the floor just to open up and swallow me whole."

"So, is that a yes?" James asked as he continued to prod her with his wand.

"Could you please stop poking me?" Lily asked. Alice snickered from her seat as Professor Slughorn was finally in a state that he could get up unhindered by his condition.

"You know, it's not healthy to leave a boy so unfulfilled," Sirius said as he rapidly shook his leg, nearly threatening to bounce the table into the ceiling with his knee. "It's quite dangerous. We could explode."

"No, you can't," Lily said as the bell tolled, signaling the end of class. She jumped up, shoving the offending book in her bag, and ran like a mad woman to the nearest wash room to splash icy cold water on her face in poor attempts to ease the burning in her cheeks.

"Fancy meeting you in here," James taunted as he slid up next to her, leaning against the sink. Lily opened her mouth to say something before realizing she had just barged in on a lavatory full of boys. Her face went from red to fire, her cheeks burned, and she silently prayed the floor would really open up and swallow her whole.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** _After reading a lot of comments on both sites regarding the last chapter, I have some bad news for you. You will __**NOT **__like this chapter (heck, I don't like it much myself… but it is written, none the less). The book scene with Lily, I've actually been that girl who has to read aloud from something I was caught doing (which was mortifying, to say the least!). Just thought that I'd share that with you. I've also been that girl who accidentally went into the boys' bathroom (played that off nicely though). To my minor readers, thanks for listening and there is just a lot of language here and a little crude humor. It's fairly safe to read, but not totally. So, back to the story. You will hate me for doing this to our lovely couple. I am sorry._

**Disc.: **_The plot is mine, the errors, yes, but not the characters._

**Chapter Twenty Six**

James had gotten his hands on that book two day before and he hadn't come out of his room since. He hadn't been able to talk Lily into reading it to him, who turned beat read anytime anyone mentioned it, but she had thrust in into his hands in hopes of sending him on his way. It had worked. James hadn't left his room in two days, thankful it was a weekend and the boy wouldn't be punished. Despite reading through the night, he was only two thirds of the way done on the second afternoon. He was starved, certainly, and Remus had cut him off from Sirius smuggling food in to the room.

"You have to put the book down some day, James," Remus said. "Just put it down and go eat."

"No," James called from under his covers. "The minute I put it down, you're going to snatch it up. I only got it from Lily because she had finally had enough of me. As it is, the minute I am done with it I have to give it back so she can finish it."

"I won't take the book," Remus lied. He knew he would, the minute James put the book down, because he desperately wanted to read it. Everyone wanted to read the book. As it was Sirius was pawing at the covers trying to get underneath to read as well.

"I don't believe you," James said as he tried to push Sirius away from him. Sirius managed to climb under the blanket with James and snuggled up against his best friend.

"Ooh, feeling a bit randy aren't we, James," Sirius chuckled as he moved away from the boy.

"This is not a group activity," James said as he glared at Sirius.

"Not the way you're going, brother," Sirius laughed. "Remember, the clean up spell is scrubify or something like that."

"Scourgify," Remus said grinning. "Anyways, you'd better give your body a break. It's not good to be that worked up for so long without a break here and there."

"Oh, I've braked, thanks," James said grinning. Remus glanced at the tee shirt laying haphazardly on the bed next to James and gagged.

"Please wash that before you wear it," Remus said. James laughed.

"I'm not going to wear it," James said. "It's your shirt."

"What?" Remus said with his mouth hanging open. "You used _my _shirt? You owe me a new shirt, dude. I don't want that one back,_ ever_."

Remus and Sirius left James alone in the dorm room with the book. James continued to read, but was distracted by the rumbling in his stomach. He couldn't remember the last thing he ate. Sighing, he climbed out of bed and rummaged around in his trunk, hoping to find something to eat. While there was something that perhaps once had been edible in there, James didn't think he was quite hungry enough to eat something furrier than Remus on a full moon and he vowed to clean his school trunk out properly.

"Once I am done with this book," James said aloud as he pulled open his back pack. At the bottom he found the box of chocolates that Severus had stupidly given Lily. "I'd hate to see these go to waste, and Severus would _never _poison _his_ dear Lily. Pathetic." James laughed as he opened the box and took one of the chocolates.

It tasted as good as chocolate cauldrons ever tasted. He waited, to see if perhaps he would be poisoned, but James felt fine. One by one, James ate the chocolates while he read. He reached to grab another one to find the box was empty. James tore his gaze away from the book to the box to find it was, indeed completely empty. He hadn't realized he had eaten every last one.

"What is that?" James wondered as he saw some small, tight handwriting in the corner of the box. He brought the box close to his face trying to make out the chicken scratch scrawled in the box. "I wonder what _Lustierus Totalius Slytherin_ means."

"Hey, James," Sirius said coming in the room holding a plate under his shirt. "Don't tell Remus but I managed to sneak you something."

"Hey, have you ever heard of _Lustierus Totalius Slytherin_?" James asked. Sirius frowned as he placed the plate down on the bed.

"What?" Sirius asked. James handed the box to Sirius to read. Sirius read it silently twice before reading it aloud, "_Lustierus_ _Totalius Slytherin_."

Right there, at Sirius' speech, James went completely rigid and fell off the bed. Sirius stared at him for a good second in shock. Jumping up, Sirius left the bed and went to James' side where the poor boy was breathing hard, as if trying to catch his breath. Sirius patted his cheek a few times, trying to get James to snap out of it.

"James?" Sirius asked with a bit of fear in his voice. James' eyes shot open wide and the boy jumped up as if the ground was on fire. "Are you ok?"

"Ok? I feel GREAT!" James said loudly. Sirius looked at him, concerned. James' eyes looked a little vacant despite the ridiculously large grin on his face.

"Do you think you might want to take a break from reading and go down to the great hall for lunch?" Sirius asked slowly.

"That sounds FANTASTIC!" James said loudly. He snatched up the book. "I have to give this to what's her name, anyways."

"Lily," Sirius said slowly.

"That's the chick, yup," James said. He practically skipped from the room, whistling, while Sirius chased after him.

"Are you ok? You seem a little weird. When have you not known your girlfriend's name?" Sirius asked.

"Who?" James asked as he started humming.

"Lily, your girlfriend," Sirius said. "You've been chasing her for _years_."

"Oh, _Miss Goody-two-shoes_, right," James said as he hummed louder. "I am _SO_ over her. Dating her just won't do."

"Wait_… What?!"_ Sirius exclaimed as they entered the great hall. James was practically singing now, the loud sound of the doors drawing the attention of many of the students. "Think about what you're saying, James."

"Oh, I have," James said as he approached Lily. She looked up at him in surprise, sitting between Remus and Alice.

"James you've immerge from your hibernation. Finished already?" Lily teased. James smirked.

"Nope," James said. "I don't need this anymore. I plan on getting the real thing."

"Really?" Lily said slightly surprised. James threw the book on the table, knocking a few cups over.

"Yup," James said laughing. He turned his back to Lily. "Hey! Hey! Narcissa! Fancy a little one on one Quidditch practice in the broom closet? You can so ride my broom and hell, I'll let you touch the golden snitches a bit."

"What?!" Lily said jumping up in outrage. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Oh, right," James said. "The girlfriend thing."

"Damn straight," Lily said crossing her arms.

"Babe, I don't know how to say this to you," James started. "So I am just going to say it: I think you are a controlling, uptight, frigid bitch. So is Narcissa, but she's going to let me fuck her, so I think I've got to follow my… uh… heart."

"What?!" Lily asked as her face went from embarrassed to completely murderous in a matter of a few gulping breaths.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart," James laughed. "I don't like you. We are through."

Lily stood there, her fists clenched angrily at her sides as James walked over to the Slytherin table and without a further word, took Narcissa by the hand and practically dragged her from the great hall. Lily looked at Sirius then at the book.

"I…" Sirius started. Lily sat down quickly, taking deep gasping breaths. Alice patted Lily's shoulder.

"Shh, it's going to be ok," Alice said. She shot Sirius a look.

"Lily," Sirius said as he sat down in front of her. "I don't know what happened. One minute he was fine and then the next he was like this. Could it be an effect of the book?"

"I've read it three times straight through," Lily said as she continued to take deep, gasping breaths. She was about to hyperventilate. "I've never acted that way!"

"Shh, Lily," Alice said as Remus took up rubbing her arm. "Do you want to maybe go for a walk?"

"No," Lily said. "I think… I think I'm going to go throw up."

Lily jumped up and bolted out of the great hall and into the first girls' lavatory. She barely made it into the first stall; her arms encircling the porcelain throne before she heaved all of the food she had eaten that day right back out. She coughed and gagged, tears streaming down her face. With great force, Lily heaved until she saw sparkling white flashes of light.

"Honey, are you ok?" Alice asked as she leaned over and touched Lily's shoulder.

"No," Lily said angrily as she pulled a piece of toilet paper off the roll and wiped her face. "I knew I should have never trusted him. I knew he'd break my heart."

"That wasn't James, Lily," Sirius said as Lily pulled herself off the floor and headed over to the sinks to wash her now sweaty face and rinse the vomit from her mouth. "James loves you."

"Funny way of showing it," Lily said bitterly as her hands shook under the water.

"I don't know what came over him," Sirius said. He looked at Remus for support.

"Lily, James loves you," Remus said. "I don't know what is up with him right now, but we will get to the bottom of it, ok?"

"He's out there," Lily said pointing to the door. "He's there with her, that Slytherin bitch."

"Slytherin," Sirius said. "Of course."

"Of course what?" Remus asked.

"He ate the chocolates Severus gave Lily," Sirius said. "He ate every one of them and then there was something written at the bottom of the box."

"What?" Remus pressed. Sirius shook his head.

"I'm not repeating it, in case it was an incantation," Sirius said. "I don't want to say it and then have you lot out screwing Slytherins left and right."

"I'd appreciate it," Alice said quickly.

The group stood with the box in the middle of the seventh year boys' dormitory. Lily had confirmed that it was, indeed, Severus' handwriting. She shook with anger and hurt, Remus holding her up from collapsing to the floor.

"Severus must have known you wouldn't eat the chocolates," Remus said gently. "After all, ten years being your friend would have known that you'd not eat them. You and I haven't been friends as long as you and he were friends, and I know better."

"I'm going to kill him," Lily cried angrily.

"Who, James?" Sirius asked. Lily shook her head, tears streaming down her face again.

"Severus," Lily said as she pushed Remus away. She ran out of the boys' dormitory, through the common room, and out of the portrait hole. She knew Severus would be where he always was, the Slytherin common room. She ran to their doorway and used her head-girl password to enter.

Several people looked up in shock to see the Gryffindor standing there, wand out, and tears streaming down her face. Severus looked up at her, unconcerned. He smiled his trade mark smile and stood, casually closing the book he was reading.

"Shall we talk in my chambers?" Severus said in his smooth voice. Lily crossed her arms and jerked her head. She followed him to the boys' dormitory, slightly surprised that they had their own little rooms instead of the communal rooms like Gryffindor.

"What did you do to him?" Lily demanded as the door shut.

"To who?" Severus asked as he casually leaned against his bed post.

"You damn well know who, Severus," Lily said angrily. "What did you do to James?"

"I didn't do anything," Severus smirked. Lily narrowed her eyes at him, her wand pointing at him.

"You'd better tell me or I swear I'll have you believing you are a kitten for the rest of my life," Lily threatened. "Drinking milk, eating mice, the whole works."

"I'm telling you the truth, Lily. _ I_ didn't do _anything_ to James," Severus said casually. He smirked at her. "You did."

"What are you talking about?" Lily demanded as she stepped closer, the tip of her wand poking Severus in the shoulder.

"_You_ gave him the chocolates," Severus smirked as he brushed her wand away from his shoulder. "You did, not me."

"Me?" Lily said shaking her head. "You knew I wouldn't eat them! You knew I would pass them along to him."

"I planned on him sharing them with the other seventh year Gryffindor boys, but it seems like he must have gotten a little greedy," Severus laughed. Lily's hands shook with fury.

"What was in the chocolate, Severus, and you'd better tell me the truth," Lily threatened as she stepped even closer. Severus placed his hand on her shoulder to keep her from coming any closer.

"You sure like to invade personal space, not that I mind," Severus laughed. "Imagine what people would think if they saw how close you are to me right now."

"I wouldn't be with you if you were the last man on the earth! I hate you!" Lily yelled at him.

"Maybe I won't tell you what I know then," Severus said slightly affronted.

"You'd better," Lily threatened. She grabbed his arm and jerked up his sleeve. "Unless you want me to announce to everyone about this. I'm sure your fellow Slytherins wouldn't mind much, but imagine the rest of the school. _And your Dark Lord_. What would _he_ say to your unhealthy obsession with a _Mudblood_?"

"Ooh, you've got a nasty side, don't you?" Severus said no longer smiling as he pushed his sleeve down over his forearm.

"Try me, Severus," Lily threatened. "What was in the chocolate?"

"A lust potion," Severus said quickly. He looked quite annoyed. "But not any lust potion, the most potent lust potion in the wizarding world. One drop and he's a goner."

"How much?" Lily growled at him. "How much did you use?"

"About five hundred times that, double concentrated, double boiled," Severus said looking away.

"Two thousand times the normal dose," Lily said as she figured up the math.

"Per chocolate," Severus said meekly.

"What! What in the hell did you think would come of that?" Lily yelled as she lost control of her temper.

"I thought you'd have no one to turn to but me," Severus said. Hot tears were streaming down Lily's face and she had begun pacing angrily.

"I hate you," Lily swore at him angrily every few minutes.

"I meant well," Severus promised.

"You're a sick fuck," Lily swore at him. "I'd kill you if you were even worth going to Azkaban for."

"Thank god I'm not," Severus said under his breath.

"I hate you," Lily said pacing some more. She turned to look at him. "Is there an antidote?"

"No, because of the incantation," Severus said. "It activates the potion."

"Did you send me the bloody heart?" Lily asked suddenly. Severus looked at her, confused.

"No, why would I?" Severus asked.

"Why would you poison my boyfriend? Because you're sick and twisted, Severus," Lily snapped. She started to walk out of his room, turning to look at him. "I hate you, but you_ will_ make this up to me, do you hear?!"

"I hear you, woman," Severus growled back at her. Lily slammed the door to Severus' chambers and headed through the Slytherin common room, only pausing momentarily to see James fawning over Narcissa Black right there in the open. Lily felt a wave of fresh anger and nausea over take her, sending the girl to the nearest girls' lavatory to throw up again.

"Don't worry. No one ever comes in here," a voice whispered. Lily looked over to see Moaning Myrtle sitting on the paper dispenser. "Vomit away."

_End note: Ok, I haven't put one of these as of lately, but I did want to say this. Stick with the story, even if it goes from bad to worse, ok? Trust me, and my notes, that everything works out in the end. Should you want to send me hate email, my email address is Now, for me… I am off to change my name and move to Mexico before some of you show up on my door. I will now be known as Senora Kai. Not really._


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** _Oh, I am SO happy you guys didn't come after me with torches and pitch forks… woo hoo… Thank you all who have been reviewing. You make it so much more desirable to write these chapters. Your review is my payment. I thought that I might just torture you all and not release this quite yet, but then I realized that I am not that mean. So, here you all go. This is an all read… I don't think there is any swearing in it, either… Oh wait. There is ONE swear word, no sex, yes nudity, yes suggestive behavior/talk… Read and Review._

**Disc.:** I own nothing (aside from the plot and errors).

**Chapter 27**

A month had passed without change. Yes, it had been a month since James had eaten those blasted chocolates and still, Lily hadn't been able to find a single thing that could help her with it. Lily practically lived in the library when she wasn't in class or doing patrol. She wasn't even taking meals in the great hall anymore, Remus or Sirius sneaking food in to her under Madame Pince's nose. She was looking tired, sleeping in the library when the old bat wouldn't kick her out.

The hardest thing for Lily was seeing James with those girls. He was really making his rounds. First with the Slytherins, then the Ravenclaws, and then the Hufflepuffs, James was getting to know a lot about the female anatomy. James wouldn't attempt anything with the Gryffindors, not because he had morals but because everyone in Gryffindor respected Lily Evans. Well, maybe not respected but they liked her well enough not to want to get cursed by the increasingly moody Head Girl.

She was constantly reminding herself that James was not himself. He wouldn't do some of the things he was doing now. He had gone from a respectable guy to fulfilling many of the girls' dreams. Lily turned her head anytime she came across James, as he was always literally attached to someone at the mouth or hip. It ate her up inside. Remus and Sirius were a source of comfort to her during this trying time.

"Hey," Lily said sleepily as Remus sat down next to her in the library. He glanced over his shoulder before pulling a sandwich out of his pocket.

"Any luck?" Remus asked hopefully. Lily shook her head as she unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. It was a little smashed but it tasted fine.

"I only wish I knew where to look," Lily sighed as she gestured at the large collection of books from the restricted section.

"Snape couldn't point you in the right direction?" Remus asked as Lily rubbed her shoulder. She was uncomfortable. Though she was used to the hard wooden chairs of the library and classroom, she had been practically living in them during all of her free time. It was rough on her muscles.

"No," Lily said shaking her head.

"Let me," Remus offered as he put his hands on her shoulders.

"It's not like James isn't out there doing worse," Lily said as she closed her eyes.

"Damn you're tense," Remus said.

"Hey, that's my line," Sirius joked as he joined the two. Remus hesitated.

"Uh, don't stop," Lily groaned. Sirius laughed though his laughter wasn't nearly as jovial as it had been in the past. This thing with James was wearing poorly on all of them.

"Yeah, that's your line. Followed up with- _it feels so good_," Sirius joked half-heartedly.

"Well, it does," Lily commented as her cheeks turned a little pink.

"You take over, I've got a cramp," Remus said pulling away and rubbing his hand.

"Yeah, I'm getting tag-teamed by my boyfriend's best mates," Lily said as Sirius began to massage her shoulders. "Oh, my God Sirius. Not so rough, okay?"

"Sorry," Sirius said sheepishly as he eased up. "Um, you smell nice."

"I haven't showered in like two days," Lily groaned. "I'm disgusting."

"We could always take this little back rub on the road to the prefect's bathroom," Sirius offered. "I could help you reach that spot in the middle of your back you always struggle with."

"Gee, Black," Lily said. "Tempting offer, really."

"Really?" Sirius asked almost hopefully.

"No," Lily said. She brushed his hands off her and stood. "Can you do me a favor and just sit here, reading so that I don't lose my place while I go fetch up a shower?"

"Sure," Remus said. Sirius sighed and took over Lily's seat.

"Now, Sirius," Lily started as she pressed into his shoulders. "Don't just sit there and keep my chair warm. Try to do some reading. We all want James back the way he used to be."

"Got it," Sirius said as he pulled a huge book towards him. "Just hurry back, will you?"

"Take your time," Remus countered as he made a face at Sirius. Lily nodded and headed out of the library. She walked slowly to the prefects' bathroom, thankful it was empty as she entered. Closing the door behind her, she stripped off her clothes and filled the giant tub with the hottest water she could physically stand. She eased in, the hot soapy water rushing over her body. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the edge of the tub. She fell asleep.

"Hey, Lily?"

Lily could feel someone's hand on her shoulder and she indistinctively told them to leave her alone.

"You're going to drown in the tub if you fall back to sleep," Remus said as he shook her shoulder again. Lily looked at him in confusion before remembering she was in the tub. Instinctively, she covered herself with her hands.

"What are you doing in here?" Lily demanded as she looked to see that most of the bubbles were still there, so she hadn't been gone very long.

"We got kicked out of the library by Madame Pince," Remus said apologetically. He shot a look at Sirius who was standing as far away as possible from Lily in the tub.

"Yeah, sorry about that Lily," Sirius said sheepishly. "Remus and I got to talking about things with James and it got out of hand."

"What things?" Lily asked as she scooped more bubbles her way to maintain adequate coverage.

"Can we not really talk about it with you naked in the tub?" Sirius begged. Lily shot him a nasty look.

"I was here first," Lily said. Sighing she nodded. She moved to get out, but stopped. "You're going to have to turn around, you know."

"Gotcha," Remus said quickly as he scrambled back toward Sirius. They waited as Lily quickly jumped from the tub and towel dried, jerking her clothes on over her head in record time.

"So, what's up?" Lily asked as she sat down on the bench to put her shoes back on her feet.

"What are you going to do if James never goes back to the way he used to be?" Sirius asked carefully.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Will you eventually move on?" Sirius asked. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"Tell her," Remus said. Sirius looked at her helplessly.

"Tell me what?" Lily demanded. Sirius hesitated.

"Earlier this month, during the full moon, James did his whole switch-a-roo," Sirius said. "When he's not human, he is James."

"What?" Lily asked confused.

"He's not affected by the potion and incantation when he is a stag," Remus explained.

"What!" Lily exclaimed.

"He's really sorry he's hurting you," Sirius said quickly. "But he said that if you can't find the cure by the next full moon, he wants you to move on."

"WHAT!" Lily yelled.

"Moving on is going to be hard, but he doesn't want to you to constantly hurt," Remus said quietly.

"No, wait, let me see if I've got this right," Lily said touching her forehead slightly. "He is normal again when he is an animal?"

"Yeah," the boys said.

"And you are just NOW telling me?" Lily asked shaking her head.

"It doesn't change anything," Remus said. She shook her head.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Lily asked. "I've only two more weeks until the full moon!"

"You were already working yourself to death," Sirius said shaking his head. "Imagine how much more you would have tried to do knowing your time was limited. We don't like it anymore than you do, but it is what it is."

"Wait," Lily said as the three of them headed out of the bathroom. "How did this get you kicked out of the library?"

"We got into an… _argument_," Remus said hesitantly.

"An argument? About what? Telling me?" Lily asked as they headed toward the portrait of the fat lady.

"Not exactly," Sirius said sheepishly. She looked at him curiously. He looked genuinely embarrassed.

"Then about what?" Lily asked as she grabbed both boys' arms to stop them from walking.

"You," Remus said.

"Me?"

"Yeah," Sirius said nodding. "Neither of us wants to see you with another guy, in case the potion does manage to wear off. We were arguing as to who was going to be the one to step up and take James' place until he comes to his senses in his human form."

"A placeholder?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," Remus said. Lily frowned.

"Am I that undesirable that you two would have to fight over who would have to be with me?" Lily asked. The boys turned crimson from embarrassment.

"Quite the opposite," Sirius said. Lily felt heat rising to her own cheeks.

"Really?" Lily asked as failed to suppress a grin. She burst into tears and wrapped her arms around both boys' necks at the same time. "Oh my god, you two are so sweet!"

"My, my…" Severus drawled as he glided past the hugging threesome. "I guess Potter isn't the only one having threesomes."

"Snape!" The three growled. None moved to grab their wands as Severus' wand was already drawn.

"Imagine the_ shock _on Potter's face when he sees his girl with his best friends," Severus smirked. "The scandal of it all…"

Lily opened her mouth to swear at him but Professor McGonagall came by and shooed the seventh year trio back to the common room. Lily bade them good night, hugging them once more for being so damn sweet, before she headed up to her own dormitory.

Lily stared at the darkness of her room for a long time. Thoughts swirled in her mind, haunting her with sleeplessness. She had two weeks to fix James or she would have to do as he wished and move on. She sighed and rolled to her side, jerking off her pants and shirt that were getting twisted in her covers.

In that brief moment between being awake and being asleep, Severus' face slid into her thoughts. She had been thinking about what Remus and Sirius had been saying about needing to move on though moving on would hurt. She had been contemplating which of the two she would allow be a placeholder for James and for how long. It was then Severus' slipped into her conscious thought. _What had he said to her? Potter would be shocked to see her with his best friends. With, as in together. Wait. That couldn't be right. James had seen the three of them together quite often, more so of as of lately and nothing had changed between James and his condition._

"Oh my GOD!" Lily squealed into the darkness. Alice moaned indistinguishably and rolled to her side.

Could it be so simple? Lily jumped out of bed and pulled her robe on. She had to go see Severus immediately and force him to tell her. She pulled her tank top down, thinking she really needed to put shorts on before she went and saw him, at least. She grabbed a pair of Libby's shorts, much shorter than Lily would normally wear. Slipping them on, Lily headed out of the Gryffindor common area. She ran barefoot along the corridors, her feet thankful for the cool stone silence beneath her feet.

"_Austree Completie,"_ Lily murmured as she crossed into the Slytherin doorway. She took the stairs to the boys' dormitories quickly, entering Severus' chambers soundlessly. She hesitated.

Severus was laying on his back, his eyes closed. The curtains that normally would have been closed against the night were open, the half moon light shining through across Severus' bare chest. She frowned, having never seen him quite so… _vulnerable_… before. He had a scar across his chest, one that Lily was certain that she had never seen before. She stepped closer to take a better look. Her wand brushed his arm as she leaned forward.

In one swift moment, Severus seized her wrists and flung her onto his bed, his hands crushing her wrist. He was straddling her, holding her arms above her head. Severus looked down at her darkly, his breath coming in frightened gasps.

"Severus! It's me!" Lily cried out. Severus frowned as he realized who was underneath him.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" Severus asked. "Don't you know it's not polite to sneak up on a person while he's sleeping?"

"Can you get off of me?" Lily asked. Severus looked down as if realizing for the first time that he had her pinned to his bed.

"I kinda like this," Severus said smirking.

"Get off me," Lily demanded. Reluctantly, Severus released Lily's wrists but didn't move to get off her quite yet.

"Why are you here?"

"Get off me the rest of the way, Severus," Lily said as she struggled to get out from under him. He pulled himself off her, but remained at her side as she sat up.

"Why are you here, Lily?" Severus asked again.

"I need to know. Is there a way to shock James back to his senses?" Lily demanded.

"Why should I tell you?" Severus asked. Lily glanced at her wand briefly. "Don't think you can threaten me, Lils. I know you too well."

"Please, tell me," Lily said. Severus curled his lip in a smile.

"What will you give me to tell you, Lily?" Severus said as his fingers briefly untied her robe. She slapped his hand away.

"What do you think you are doing?" Lily demanded again. "I don't owe you anything. In fact, you owe me."

"Fine," Severus said pouting. "I don't know why you like him. He's such an arrogant jerk."

"Like you aren't? You've been walking around all year like I should bow down to your feet and hope you look my way," Lily retorted. She grabbed his arm and pointed at his forearm. "This doesn't impress me. This disgusts me, and once it disgusted you too."

"Just shut up, okay?" Severus snapped at her. Lily bit her lip, her eyes narrowed with hurt and anger. "Yes, there is a way, but you're not going to like it."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** After reading your reviews, I have to say that you all (well most of you) are either smart little cookies, or I have gotten WAY TOO PREDICTIBLE. I have finished through chapter 30, and OMG! Maybe I will still catch a few of you off guard. Still review, though. Read on!

**Disc.:** I claim plot (though you guys are right there with me) and errors. Nothing more.

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

Lily probably could have killed Severus with her bare hands. As it was her hand was still smarting from where she slapped him in the face. Irrational fear bubbled up in her stomach as she walked from the Slytherin House to Gryffindor, her feet dragging like lead. She didn't know how she was going to tell them. Her face felt all hot, and she was fairly certain she was going to pass out or throw up. She took a few deep breaths to stop the shaking.

Only Severus would be that sick, could be that sick. Lily paced back and forth outside of the portrait of the fat lady, wringing her hands. She was still shaking, and she knew that the longer she waited, the harder that it would be to tell them. Lily crossed her body with her arm as she tried to hold herself together. She frowned and sat down against the wall, her head tilted back and resting against the wall for a few minutes to pull herself together. She stood and let herself in to the Gryffindor common room.

"Maybe it can wait until the morning," Lily muttered to herself. She looked up as James came bounding down the stairs with a giggling Ravenclaw. Lily felt her jaw clench angrily as he barely noticed her when they passed. Lily growled audibly and headed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. Lily crept through the room silently. She stood between Sirius and Remus' beds, not certain who to wake first.

"Remus, Remus," Lily said quietly as she shook his shoulder. "Wake up, Remus."

"Lily?" Remus yawned as he stretched. "What are you doing here?"

"I talked to Severus," Lily said as she took a seat on the bed next to him. "Something he said earlier triggered a thought, and I went to talk to him."

"When?" Remus asked as he checked the time on his watch. "It's like three in the morning. You should be in bed, asleep."

"So should James, but I just saw him heading out with another girl," Lily said coldly as she crossed her arms. Remus wrapped his own arms around her, trying to comfort her.

"You'll get through this," Remus said. "We all will."

"Uh-huh," Lily said as she shifted closer to him.

"So, what did Snape tell you," Remus asked.

"Do you know your heart is racing a mile a minute?" Lily murmured. Remus chuckled slightly.

"Thanks for the medical checkup," Remus said. "Snape?"

"Mhmn, yeah," Lily said. "He confirmed that what I thought, there is a way to counteract what Severus has done to him."

"Did he tell you what it is?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," Lily breathed as heat rose to her cheeks. Remus couldn't see it in the darkness of the room or the position of their bodies, but he could feel the heat against his tee shirt.

"And what has to be done?" Remus asked.

"I… I have to have a relationship that is so outrageous that the senses are shocked back into him," Lily said hesitantly. "So, it's just a matter of who?"

"Who?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yeah," Lily said trying to breathe evenly. "Who would be seen as so outrageous and shocking that James couldn't fight it?"

"So, Sirius or me?" Remus said quietly, understanding.

"Yeah," Lily said frowning. She could feel the heat of the tears running down her face and dampening his shirt.

"There's always Peter," Remus said lightly. Lily sobbed.

"I hate him so much!" Lily cried.

"Awe, Peter's not that bad," Remus teased lightly. Lily sobbed louder.

"It's not him… It's _HIM_… Severus," cried Lily. "He's ruined everything! I had James and James wanted only me!"

"Hon, it's not going to be like this forever," Remus promised her as he patted her back gently. "I'm willing to help out in any way possible, and once we wake Sirius up and tell him, I'm sure he'll say the same thing too."

"How come you are so nice, Remus?" Lily asked.

"Because a guy like me can't afford not to be nice to people will to take the risk and be your friend," Remus said quietly. "Plus, I owe you. I almost turned you into my kind."

"Should we wake him?" Lily said after a minute as she realized she had been snuggled up in Remus' arms far longer than probably appropriate.

"Yeah, probably," Remus said as he released her. "I'll tell him."

Sirius was very quiet while Remus explained everything to him. He glanced at Lily a few times while Remus was talking, but he didn't interrupt and he didn't make a comment. Sirius crossed his arms, not saying much of anything. He leaned back and took it all in; not saying anything after Remus stopped talking.

"So," Sirius said. "How do we know Snape's just not screwing around?"

"He wanted me to turn to him to do it," Lily said. "He offered, saying that you two valued your friendship over it. I just CAN'T have a relationship with Severus. The thought makes me physically ill."

"He's definitely mental," Sirius said quietly.

"So, will you help Lily get James back to normal?" Remus asked his friend.

"Hell, I want him to be back normal," Sirius said quietly. "I miss my best friend, but I don't think this is going to work." Sirius looked at Remus apologetically.

"Ok, well I guess that means it's you and me," Remus said looking at Lily. Lily nodded once, her arms crossed against the loneliness. "Can you at least help us?"

"Yeah," Sirius said quietly. "I can help. I think it'd be best, for all, if you keep why you two are goofing around with each other under wraps. That way no one tips off James, you know?"

It started off simple enough. Lily came out of her dorm room the next morning, dressed in her favorite jeans and a tee shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a pony tail and she had her sneakers tied perfectly. Remus brushed past James and walked up to Lily. He took her by the hand and guided her out through the portrait hole.

"I don't think the two of you holding hands is going to be enough," Sirius told them as he joined them at the breakfast table. Lily glanced over at Remus helplessly. "You two holding hands isn't exactly a shocking development, you know. It's almost expected now that James is out of the equation."

"Ok," Remus said dropping her hand.

"Wait, what?" Lily asked as she looked at Sirius. She glanced to her right where Remus was sitting, his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Well, everyone knows that you two have chemistry, you know?" Sirius said as he poured himself some juice.

"No, I don't know," Lily said. She looked to Remus. "We have chemistry?"

"You'd be blind not to see it, Lils," Sirius said. He took a sip. "It's not at all shocking that you two would hook up slowly, which you are. The natural progression would be hold hands for a few months, maybe a chaste kiss here or there at a year… but only when no one is looking, of course. A little public display of affection at a year or two, then maybe sex at the ten year mark, but only after a couple of years of marriage."

"You've gone mental," Lily said shaking her head. "_IF_, and that is a big _IF_, Remus and I were to hook up for real things wouldn't move _that_ slowly."

"Sure," Sirius said shaking his head. He focused back on his plate. Lily fumed for a few minutes, occasionally glaring at Sirius who was reading the back of a cereal box and was completely oblivious to Lily's glare.

"You're wrong," Lily said after a few minutes.

"That's nice," Sirius said distractedly as he started digging around in the box, looking for the prize. Lily thought more about what Sirius said, thinking he might be a little right, though she'd never admit it to him. Remus was the next obvious choice for her. Hell, it had taken James forever to actually pin her down for a date. She threw her fork down on the table, took a sip of water, and turned to Remus.

"Hey, Remus," Lily said a little louder than a normal speaking voice, causing him to jump slightly.

"Yeah?" Remus said as he turned to her. She grabbed his face and pulled him to her, giving him what she hoped was a very convincing passionate kiss. The noise in the great hall dropped dramatically, but Lily refused to open her eyes and look. Her face was hot, like it was on fire.

Remus didn't kiss her back… at first. Caught completely off guard, his eyes shot open wide and he nearly panicked. He was good looking enough, but girls normally didn't kiss him in the middle of breakfast in the great hall. Actually, he couldn't remember the last person he had kissed. Then he remembered! He was supposed to be kissing her back. Granted it was only seconds that he ran through that whole thought process but he felt like it had been longer.

"Great going there Evans! Lupin!" James cheered as he walked by with a different girl trailing after him. Lily broke the kiss, much to Remus' not-so secret disappointment.

"Well," Sirius said looking at the two of them. "That was just the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my life. Where in the world did you two learn to kiss? For a second there, Remus, I could have sworn you had a stroke or something."

"I, uh…" Remus mumbled as the red crept up his neck and over his face. "I was just a little startled."

"Still," Sirius said shaking his head.

"You think you could do better?" Lily asked crossing her arms crossly. Sirius glanced back up at her smirking.

"I'm Sirius Black," Sirius said cockily. "I invented kissing."

"God, you're as arrogant as James sometimes," Remus growled as he went back to eating his breakfast. Lily could hear the whispering around them. She took a deep breath, calming the anger she felt inside, before she opened the paper and began to read. Without thinking, she passed the pages to Remus as she finished.

"You two are as exciting as an old married couple," Sirius said laughing. Lily and Remus both glared at him but didn't say anything. He looked at his watch. "I'm going to be late for Quidditch, coming Romeo?"

"I hate you sometimes," Remus muttered under his breath. Lily laughed, having heard him and nodded in agreement.

"I heard that," Sirius said. "I have super hearing."

"See you at the game?" Remus asked. Lily nodded.

"I'll be cheering for you," she said. He grinned and joined Sirius, who was leaving the great hall. Lily turned back to the paper, hoping to block out anyone who would bother her. Paper didn't make a good fortress of solitude, though, because Alice, Libby, and Jackie came and sat with her at the table, scooting down from where they had sat previous.

"What in the world are you doing with Remus Lupin?" Alice squealed. "I mean I know poor James has seemed to have lost his mind, but aren't you moving on a bit quickly?"

"Why should I wait around?" Lily asked.

"But Remus?" Alice asked shaking her head.

"Hey, I like Remus," Lily said honestly. She did, really, just not romantically.

"I like him too," Libby offered.

"Remus is great, really," Alice said looking at her friend. "But he's so… _good_."

"So?" Lily said. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm _good _too, and why does everyone act like being good is such a bad thing?"

"Hon, it's not, but you went from James who is a naughty little bugger to Remus, which is the Ying to his Yang," Libby said.

"Speaking of Ying and Yang, you think Remus' compares?" Jackie asked as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"How would I know?" Lily asked with a scandalized look on her face.

"You've been spending a lot of time with the Marauders," Jackie said smirking.

"I haven't been looking at their _goods and services_, so have you know!" Lily said as she stood up. She looked back at her friends. "I just don't know what to say to you three anymore!"

"Just tell us who's hung better," Libby suggested lightly as she waved good-bye to Lily.

Lily headed to the Quidditch pitch with the rest of the Gryffindor house. She watched, secretly hoping Gryffindor would send a bludger in the stands and beam Severus in the head. She was going to do some serious harm to him once she got James back to normal. She was going hurt him bad. She got to wonder thinking instead of paying attention to the Quidditch match. What if she couldn't get James back to normal? Could she really put him behind her and move on?

"Games over," Professor McGonagall told Lily, pulling her out of her deep thoughts.

"Oh, who won?" Lily asked.

"Hufflepuff," Professor McGonagall said darkly as she shook her head. "Mr. Potter was flirting with their keeper and well, the rest is just history."

"Man," Lily groaned shaking her head.

"Mr. Potter's been acting mighty odd," Professor McGonagall said as she and Lily walked back to the castle together. "We can't afford to lose another game."

"I know," Lily said.

"Is there anything the matter? You seem out of sorts yourself, dear," Professor McGonagall mentioned. Lily thought about confessing the whole thing to the stern woman but she kept her mouth shut.

"I'm just a bit tired," Lily said. "The stress of exams coming up at the end of the year, they are really getting to me."

"Perhaps a pick me up from Madame Pomfrey would do you wonders," Professor McGonagall said as they reached the staircase. "There's nothing that woman can't cure, even if just with a little patience and pumpkin juice."

"I'll keep that in mind," Lily said half heartedly.

"Off to the library, I suppose?" Professor McGonagall asked smiling. Lily nodded.

"Always," Lily said.

"It's a nice day," Professor McGonagall said. "You'd be amazed what a walk in the fresh air does for one's mind."

Lily sat in the library waiting on Sirius and Remus. They had agreed to meet there after Quidditch, and naturally the boys were running late. Lily didn't mind though. She placed her head on the table and closed her eyes. She didn't sleep, instead she was day dreaming about a time that she would be with James.

"Sorry we're late," Remus said as he kissed the top of Lily's head.

"I was just resting my eyes," Lily said quietly.

"Anything you want to share?" Sirius asked as he took the chair and turned it around before taking a seat in the backwards chair.

"Just thinking about James," Lily said simply.

"About the time Hufflepuff was handing us our asses on the pitch, I started to realize I want James to come back and be himself again," Sirius said crossing his arms over the top of the chair. "I want him back now."

"Glad that you are on the same page with us," Lily said. She looked at him. "What do you have in mind?"

"You need to advance your relationship," Sirius said. Remus looked at Lily.

"Do you agree?" Lily asked Remus. He nodded.

"I know you don't want to. I know you love James," Remus said in the quiet way he spoke. "But, I know you'd do anything to get him better. So would I."

"So, Sirius," Lily said turning back to him. "What do you have in mind?"

"You're not going to like it," Sirius said. Lily looked at him and blinked.

"No, you're probably right," Lily said making a face. "I'm probably_ not_ going to like it."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** _Ok, so as of the time I wrote this chapter, I haven't even released chapter twenty eight. Oh well, I can only assume that you guys are paying homage to all of my hard work and reviewing. If you don't review, how will I know that you like it… after all? Ah! I got you there._

_I did contemplate waiting until later today to release this chapter, but since it is my youngest son's birthday (he is five!) I will be busy all day (but I will be back on tonight to check on your reactions to this and previous chapters). I will assume that if enough people don't review, you guys really don't care what happens in chapter 30 and I won't post it (why bore you, you know?). So, without further torture… here is chapter twenty nine._

**Disc.:** _I claim plot and errors, the characters belong to someone else._

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

"Do you think this will work?" Lily asked Remus as she sat against the edge of the table in the library.

"It's a little late now to second guess Sirius' plan," Remus said standing in front of her. "Sirius is on his way with James now."

"This is mortifying, so you know," Lily said as Remus stepped closer.

"Gee, thanks Lily," Remus said looking kind of hurt.

"No, I didn't mean because it's you, Remus," Lily said as she put her hands on either side of his face. "If it weren't for James…"

"I know," Remus said. He pulled her close, his mouth meeting hers rather heatedly. Whereas their first deep kiss had been awkward and forced, it seemed to flow this time. Lily secretly enjoyed the kiss a little, even if it wasn't James' lips on hers. After all, she had continued to read that book she had gotten in trouble with and she was still feeling fairly worked up.

"What in the world is going on here?" Sirius asked with mock surprise. Lily slowly pulled away from Remus, untangling her arms from his neck.

"We were just…" Remus said as he trailed off a bit.  
"Yeah, we were…" Lily said adding nothing to the conversation.

"Hold up, wait a minute," James said sternly. Lily glanced over at Sirius hopefully. James strolled to where Lily was on her back on the library table.

"Problem?" Remus asked hopefully as he subconsciously squeezed Lily's knee as it rested against his hip.

"Yeah, there's a problem," James said. He jerked Remus' cloak off the chair and balled it up. Without warning, he practically forced it under Lily's head. "There, all better. Don't forget to clean up when you're done. No one likes a sticky library table."

James walked away. Lily looked at Sirius disappointed. Remus reached out, offering Lily his hand to get back up off the table. He threw his arms around her carelessly. The both were very disappointed.

"So, now what?" Lily asked.

"I don't know," Sirius said scratching his head. "I'm all out of ideas."

"Some help you turned out to be," Remus said as he finally pulled away from Lily. Lily looked at Remus and grinned.

"We were more believable though, weren't we?" Lily asked.

"Ah, well…" Sirius said shaking his head. "You two are too polite."

"Too polite?" Remus asked.

"We were plenty rude," Lily insisted.

"No," Sirius said shaking his head with a grin. "You practically asked her to touch her knee and you, missy, only reluctantly agreed. You had no heat, no passion, no love… and I don't me sweet love. I mean dirty, rough love."

"I'm not going to just start groping her," Remus said. "I have respect for Lily."

"And I appreciate it," Lily said nodding. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You two are pathetic," Sirius said. He walked up to Lily and looked her. "Look at what you're wearing. You don't look sexy, sorry Lily, but you don't. You have to show more breasts, more leg, hell… get naked."

"Huh?" Lily asked said. "What? Naked?"

"Yeah," Sirius said.

"Naked," Remus grinned. Lily shook her head.

"Get that thought out of your mind, boy," Lily said grinning.

"No, that's perfect," Sirius said. "Get it in your mind. It'll make you act a little more rashly and push boundaries. You have to push your boundaries. Watch me."

"Wait, what?" Remus and Lily both said as Sirius stepped forward. Sirius looked down at her, grinning.

"Just trust me," Sirius said. He put his hand on the lowest part of the small of Lily's back, pulling her hard against him. Sirius lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her. Sirius wasn't hesitant in the manner in which he kissed Lily, he was quite aggressive. He pinned her against the table, his hand sliding from the small of her back to her rear end.

Lily felt this intense pull, not nearly as strong as when she was with James, but pretty damn close to that night in the tower. James hadn't gotten as far as Sirius was pushing the boundaries, for sure, otherwise she was certain that she would have given up her virginity to him (James, not Sirius, naturally. She loved James.). It her like a wave. She jerked away, practically jumping up on top of the table.

"See," Sirius said panting slightly with a stupid grin on his face. "Good, wasn't it?"

"I know what has to be done!" Lily said eagerly. Sirius frowned for a second, not expecting that outburst after what he had done. She looked down at her tee shirt and pulled it back over her bra. "Damn, Sirius. Couldn't keep your hands off the merchandise?"

"Hey, I only did it to prove a point," Sirius said laughing. He looked at Remus.

"Point taken," Remus said. "I need a shower."

"Oh, gross," Lily gagged shaking her head.

"I look forward to it," Remus said.

"Remus!" Lily exclaimed with her face heated.

"Well, hell, he does," Sirius said. "He can't help it, and he ought not to be ashamed of the fact that Remus is hot for you."

"Ought not?" Lily teased.

"I am not hot and randy," Remus countered a little more forcibly than he needed.

"Big Remus says no, but little Remus says yes," Sirius said grinning as he gestured to Remus' pants. Lily glanced reflexively and laughed as she covered her eyes. "Told you that he was hot for you, Lils. If we can't get James back, Remus is next in line to be the _one_."

"Agh! That reminds me!" Lily said as she threw her arms around Sirius and Remus, kissing them both on the cheeks. She started to leave and then turned back. "I'll catch you later. I have to go confront Severus about something."

"Damn, girl. If you're that hard up for some action and Remus is too chicken, you know I'd gladly sacrifice my body to you, for the cause of course," Sirius offered. "You don't need to lay down with the bat."

"Ugh," Lily made a face. "It's not even that, I swear! I'd burn my flesh off before I gave him my body."

"Good to know," Sirius said. "The offer still stands."

"Awe, c'mon Sirius," Remus groaned.

"Hey, I'll share," Sirius promised grinning. "We can take turns."

"You're too much," Lily said shaking her head. She ran out of the library, running down the corridors until she came to the dungeons. She ran into the Slytherin common room. Severus was sitting with his housemates, reading and talking. Lily glared at Narcissa who looked just as surprised to see Lily standing there in her muggle clothes.

"Lily," Severus said unable to hide her surprise.

"YOU. Your room. NOW!" Lily demanded. Narcissa smirked as Severus stood. He led the way to his dormitory room, Lily right on his heels. She knew how it looked, but she didn't care. She wanted James back, she had an idea about what needed to be done, and she wanted to be sure.

"Lily," Severus said as she slammed the door. She turned to look at him, her wand out.

"I am going to use Occlumency on you, and you will not block me, do you hear?" Lily said as she stepped closer to him.

"No, I won't let you," Severus said shaking his head.

"I have one week until the full moon," Lily said quickly. "At that point, if he's not all better, I have to move on and live my life. I will take it from you, if need be Severus."

"I won't let you," Severus said. Lily took a deep breath and started crying, hard. She covered her eyes with her hands, crying hard. Severus' resolve faltered.

"I thought you loved me," Lily cried as she stepped closer to him, pointing at him. "You told me you loved me and that you would never hurt me."

"I don't want to," Severus said as he allowed her to get closer.

"You don't really love me," Lily wept, her hands still over her face.

"No, please stop crying Lily," Severus begged. "I do love you. I always have, I always will."

"Then tell me what I need to know, Severus," Lily begged. "Please."

"Ok, but I'm just going to give you the memories. Nothing else in here needs to be seen," Severus said finally as he handed her a handkerchief. Lily dabbed at her eyes, smiling on the inside. Whoever said she couldn't be manipulative sometimes was wrong. Severus brought his wand to his temple, pulling out a thin silvery string. Lily quickly conjured a phial and handed it to Severus. He put the memory into the phial and handed it to her. She corked it quickly.

"Thank you, Severus," Lily said as she glanced around for Severus' pensieve. "You did the right thing."

"I shouldn't have agreed," Severus said shaking his head.

"No, you did the right thing," Lily assured him.

"No, I don't mean giving you the memories. That is the only right thing I've done in weeks. Just do it, you'll see," Severus said turning away. Lily took the pensieve off the table and poured the memory into it. She walked over to Severus and grabbed him by the arm, her nails biting into the mark hidden beneath his long sleeves.

"You're coming with me," Lily said. Severus shook his head. "No, you did this. You're coming with me to explain if I have any questions."

The two of them dipped into the memory, falling until their feet hit the floor. Lily glanced around, still holding tight to Severus' arm. They were standing in his dormitory, and for a moment Lily worried that they hadn't actually entered the memory. Lily spotted Severus gazing in a sickly loving manner at a picture of Lily. It was obviously a muggle picture as Lily wasn't moving in the picture. A knock came to the door as Narcissa entered the room.

_"Narcissa," Memory Severus said. "What can I do for you?"_

_"I want James," Narcissa said. "You want Lily."_

_"This is old news, Narcissa," Memory Severus said in a rather bored tone._

_"If you can get James to turn from her, she'd turn to you," Narcissa taunted as her fingers caressed the frame lovingly. She picked it up. "There has to be something."_

_"He loves her," Memory Severus said. "He'll never turn from her."_

"So, it was her idea?" Lily asked the real Severus. He nodded but did not speak.

The memory seemed to flash forward to some other time. Severus and Narcissa were in the library studying. Several students who were studying with them left one by one until they were the only two sitting at the table.

_"I think I know what to do," Memory Severus whispered to Narcissa. "There is a very potent lust potion that is untraceable. It will cause him to be unfilled in his current relationship."_

_"That sounds perfect," Narcissa whispered. "How do you get some?"_

_"It's going to be difficult, and it's very expensive, rare upon rare," Memory Severus warned. "It's also dangerous. It will bind to the person who consumes it."_

_"We can worry about it later," Narcissa said. "Get it. I'll give you the money for it."_

"That was the potion, the lust potion you were talking about?" Lily asked Severus.

"Yes," Severus said quietly as the scene changed.

_"Chocolate," Narcissa said excitedly as she rushed into Severus' room. She held the box of chocolates in her hands. "I know we said that we'd wait, but this is fool proof. I've already arranged for phase one, so you can't back out now."_

_"What is phase one?" Memory Severus asked._

_"A real heart, bloody and beating," Narcissa said excitedly. "It'll make her lose her appetite and she won't eat them. You could get the potion and put them in the chocolates. James'll eat them. If Lily eats them, she'll run to you either way. Plus I am stirring up the tension between Lily and her friends."_

_"That's not how it works," Memory Severus said. "I can't even be sure that I can get it."_

_"You have until February 14," Narcissa said suddenly angry. "We had a deal, now stick with it."_

Lily and Severus stood in a deserted corridor, late at night by the silence of the castle and the darkness of the sky. She hated how jerky his memories were, jumping from one though to another without smooth transitions. They were making her head spin a little.

_"I've been trying to up the tension between them," Narcissa said proudly._

_"That's not exactly what I meant," Memory Severus said slightly annoyed._

_"I wasn't exactly aiming straight, you know. There were other people always there to contend with," Narcissa snapped._

_"That's alright, Cissy," Severus said taking a breath_

_"What's that?" Narcissa breathed excitedly._

_"That is phase two," Severus told her. "Fool proof."_

_"Is it what I think it is?" Narcissa asked. Memory Severus nodded. "But how did you get it? Isn't it rare? I thought that it was going to be harder to get."_

_"Rare only because it is illegal in this strength," Severus said. Narcissa laughter echoed quietly in the barren stairwell. "This is pure, undiluted and very, very potent."_

_"So how do you plan on… you know?" Narcissa asked._

_"Don't you worry about it," Severus said. "It's already in the process of being distributed."_

_"Is there any danger of it coming back to you?" Narcissa asked. _

_"No," Memory Severus said. "No one will ever know it was me that is except for you. You need to be careful though because there is no antidote."_

_"Is it really that dangerous?" Narcissa asked._

_"No unless you mind a filthy Gryffindor squirming between your legs, Cissy," Memory Severus said as the two of them disappeared around the corner._

"This is the final aspect of the memory," Severus said to Lily. She continued her death grip on his arm as the scene faded back to Severus' room. Narcissa was crying slightly as she sat on the bed, Memory Severus was standing by the window.

_"I want it to be done, Severus," Narcissa cried. "He's useless to anyone like this."_

_"What do you mean?" Memory Severus asked._

_"__**IT **__doesn't work," Narcissa said. "It just goes off and then he falls asleep."_

_"No! Really?" Memory Severus laughed. Narcissa glared at him through teary eyes._

_"Did you know this would happen?" Narcissa demanded._

_"No," Memory Severus said._

_"Make it better, Severus, please," Narcissa begged. "Whatever it will take, make it happen."_

_"I can't," Memory Severus said. "Lily has to."_

_"What?" Narcissa said._

_"Lily, his one true love, is the only one who can do it. She has to do something so outrageous that he can't help but face it in reality. One action, and the spell is broken," Memory Severus said crossing his arms. "And it has to be witness to it first person."_

Lily found herself standing again in Severus' room, her hand still clutched to Severus' arm. She dropped her hand from him and let the information absorb. She had confirmation for what she feared. Severus had known that her virginity was something she treasured. She had wanted to wait until marriage, though she had wanted to hand it over to James more recently. Severus had wanted Lily to turn to him to be the one who was her partner. Realization swept over her.

"It is the only way then? I have to have sex, and James has to watch," Lily confirmed. Severus nodded slowly. "That's what you meant first person."

"I don't know what I thought would happen," Severus said.

"You couldn't have actually thought I would turn to you," Lily said angrily. She felt the anger boiling up in her, which felt a lot like vomit. "How could you do this to me? You knew I wanted to wait."

"I hoped," Severus said quietly. Lily couldn't stop herself. She cocked her fist back and punched Severus in the face, knocking the boy out cold.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** This is the IT chapter, but… there's not any warning. Just read. Awe, I know a lot of you are struggling but this chapter, I swear, will make it up to you. Read and Review. (Oh, and I can't wait to release it, so I'm to just release it, even if it cuts down on how many people read/review the previous chapter).

**Disc.:** I created the plot, the twists, the anger, and the angst. I am also responcible to for the errors, omissions, and stupidity. Everything else belongs to someone else.

**Chapter Thirty**

Lily had explained to them what she saw in painful detail. Some of it, they already knew. Apparently James had overheard most of the second to the last memory. He had opted not to tell Lily, which was his downfall. Had she known even that much, she wouldn't have let Severus rest until he told her what he had done. Finally, she came to the point. Sitting on Remus' bed, she went through each detail of what needed to be done.

"It has to be Sirius," Lily said quickly. The boys both looked at her in disbelief.

"Why me?" Sirius asked.

"Why him?" Remus demanded. She had expected this.

"Sirius will make it more believable," Lily said.

"How will it be more believable? You're going to actually having sex with him," Remus said. His tone was biting.

"Obviously Remus wants to," Sirius said helplessly.

"Remus, you have a better ability to focus. I need you to be our memory recorder," Lily said quietly. "If we leave this up to Sirius, we run the risk of him spacing out half way through and all of our sacrifice is lost. Plus, there's no need for both of us to surrender our virginity."

"I don't mind," Remus said a little too quickly. He's cheeks turned pink.

"She has a point," Sirius said hesitantly. "The idea is to only have to do it once and for it to be perfect and un-awkward. Two rookies together mean a lot of bumbling and such."

"Plus," Lily said quietly. "Sirius had a point when he said that you and I were the natural next couple. It was probably more expected for you and me than for Sirius and I."

"Couldn't you just lose it to James?" Remus asked.

"No," Lily said darkly. "That was Severus' doing. He made it so that James had to be in a position of watching, not participating. He hoped I'd turn to him to get James back to normal. He banked on the fact that I really love James and would do anything to help him."

"So, when?" Remus asked after a while. Lily looked at her watch.

"Why wait?" Lily asked. "Tonight?"

"The full moon is in four days," Sirius said nodding grimly. "We should get this done and over with quickly."

"Are you on board, Remus? We need you," Lily added as she glanced over at him. Reluctantly, he nodded.

"Just promise me that we can curse Severus to high hell," Remus begged.

"Yeah, about that," Lily said blushing. "I lost my temper and kind of knocked him out. With my fist."

"Ooh, violence!" Sirius laughed. The three laughed a minute and then an awkward silence fell over the three.

"Wouldn't it better to have James watch live?" A voice piped up from the corner. The three looked over at Peter standing there.

"I thought about that," Lily said shaking her head. "I think it'll make it less tense him not being there. Watching it from Remus' memory would be better, plus I don't like the idea of my boyfriend watching me give it up to his best friend."

"Just wondering," Peter said as he slunk back into the darkness.

"I just want to go on record and say that I really don't want to do this," Sirius said. He hesitated. "That being said, I guess I will see you at eight in the room of requirement."

"Ok, eight it is," Lily said.

"Oh, and don't worry," Sirius said as Lily headed out the door. "I'll shower."

Lily was more nervous that she could have ever imagined. This would be the night, the night she was no longer an innocent, starry eyed teenage girl. She would lose her innocents, shed the skin of girl hood, and walk among those who walked before her as women. She knew it had to be done. She would do anything to get James back to the way he was. James would do the same for her. She walked into the room of requirement. Neither Remus nor Sirius looked too happy.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sirius asked.

"James once risked being a werewolf to prove his love for me," Lily said quietly. "I owe it to him to sacrifice a bit of me for him. I'm sure."

"I would again like to go on record and say I still really don't want to do this," Sirius said.

"No one really wants to be here, Sirius," Remus practically growled.

"Let's just get this taken care of, ok? We can plot Severus' assassination later," Lily snapped. The three stood there awkwardly.

"Ok, so we need a bed," Sirius said. Suddenly a mattress appeared on the floor.

"You've lost your mind!" Lily said as she pointed at it. She pulled out her wand but Remus had beaten her to it. The old looking mattress turned into a decent bed with pillows.

"Ok, so," Sirius said as he walked up to her. "I'm clean, I imagine you're clean. So how do you want to do this?"

"I don't know," Lily said shaking her head. "The regular way?"

"So predictable," Sirius smirked. Lily looked at Remus.

"Are you ready?" Lily asked him. He nodded. "I promise once Sirius and I are done, I'll take the memories from both of you. You'll know that we were together, but the details will be gone. It will feel like a distant memory."

"Ok," Remus said nodding as he took a chair.

"I know this goes without saying," Lily said as she stepped up to Sirius. "But, please… be gentle."

It was midnight when Lily entered her room. She had the phials of Remus and Sirius' memories in them, the silvery substance swirling in them. She placed them safely in her drawer, wrapped in her socks, and grabbed a change of clothes. She reeked of sweat, saliva, and Sirius' own special fluids. She gagged. It had been indeed awkward. She planned to give herself a grand scrubbing, to wash away the sins of the flesh.

Lily stood in the bathroom naked and standing in front of the mirror for a long time, her body now scrubbed pink. She refused to let her eyes go lower on her body than her own face. Heat rushed to her face as realization flooded over her in so many ways. It was at that moment, that very moment that she realized every truth about the world… or at least about the events that had transpired since Narcissa went to Severus in hopes of getting James Potter.

Lily pulled her clothes on, towel drying her hair. There were still several hours before morning, and today was a special day indeed. It was James' birthday, his eighteenth birthday, and Lily had to get working on his very special birthday present. Lily headed back to her dorm room, Alice sitting wide awake. The girl looked a little flushed, but none the worse for the wear.

"Hey, Lily," Alice said quietly. "Are you ok?"

"Alice, have I mentioned that you are, indeed my best friend?" Lily asked as she wrapped her arms around the girl.

"About a million times since nine," Alice murmured. She forced two phials in Lily's hands. "Now, take these off my hands, will you? They're disturbing, even if _he_ had a right randy time."

"Thank you," Lily said as she took them. "I can never repay you."

"What are friends for?" Alice yawned as she climbed into bed. She looked back at Lily. "What? I'll shower in the morning, ok?"

"Ok," Lily said as she took the two phials and slipped them in her dresser drawer. She wouldn't need these two, either. She pulled out her wand and summoned a pensieve, reaching in her pocket for a small, ornately crystal phial. She put her wand to her head and extracted the memory. She poured it in the pensieve. "I'll be along to bed soon, Alice. Good night."

Lily was slightly tired the next morning as everyone rose with the sun. She was sore, more sore than she ever remembered being in the past. Then again, last night was the first time ever. She had never spent so long bent over a pensieve, poking and prodding, separating and conjoining. She had watched the memory about a dozen times. It was perfectly disturbing.

Lily pulled her jeans on, yawning as Alice headed off to catch a shower before all of the hot water was used up. Shoes on her feet, Lily chose to wear a light green gingham print shirt with little stingy ties on the shoulder. She swept her hair back, suddenly concerned about how James would see her after awaking from such a nasty spell. He would see the memory, and then he would see her.

At nine, Lily headed down to the great hall, ready to face the day with gusto. Her nerves wouldn't let her eat much more than a couple bites of toast and a few sips of juice. They had agreed to meet at ten, well before the Slytherin-Hufflepuff game, in the room of requirement. Lily was to bring the memory; Sirius and Remus were to bring James. As an added back up, Alice and Frank were to come for emotional support.

Alice, Frank, and Lily headed to the room of requirement on time, Sirius, Remus, and James running a bit late. James fought them tooth and nail, not wanting to part from some fifth year girl he was flirting with. Reluctantly he came, being promised so much more if he'd follow.

"I don't want her," James said pointing at Lily. Lily pretended it didn't hurt.

"I got you a gift for your birthday," Lily said calmly. She held out the crystal phial.

"Potion?" He asked. She shook her head and a pensieve appeared. She poured the potion in the pensieve and nodded toward it.

"Have a dip," Lily said. James, Remus, and Sirius looked at her.

"Aren't you coming?" Remus asked. Lily shook her head.

"I've experienced it quite enough," Lily said wearily. She glanced at Alice. "Right?"

"I'd say," Alice said. Frank nodded.

"See you in twenty," Frank said proudly. James, Sirius, and Remus disappeared into the memory.

"Do you think this will work?" Alice asked Lily as they waited patiently.

"God, I hope so," Lily said nervously as she conjured a sofa for the three to sit on while they waited.

"Do you think Remus and Sirius will notice the changes that you made?" Frank asked. Lily grinned.

"If they don't, they're idiots," Lily said as she checked her watch. "They should be entering_ that _part of the memory now."

"I hope they've the sense to keep their mouth shuts," Alice said. Frank nodded.

"They will," Frank promised. "They want him back normal as bad as any of us, if not more."

"Who wants to bet Sirius comes out of the memory confused? Say two sickles?" Alice said grinning. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"You guys were wonderful," Lily said. "Who knew polyjuice potion would be so useful?"

"And you, my dear, have maintained your purity for James," Frank said as he wrapped an arm around her playfully.

The three looked up towards the end of the memory. James, Sirius, and Remus were standing there looking at each other. Lily looked at James hopefully, that vacant look gone from his eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but James moved first, his fist colliding with Sirius's jaw.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HER!" James screamed as he punched and hit Sirius. The boys were rolling around on the floor, kicking, biting, and punching. Lily and Alice looked at them in shock.

"Mate, I didn't! I don't know what that was!" Sirius said as he hit James back.

"We should do something," Alice said looking at Lily.

"Leave them be," Frank warned. "Never get into the middle of a fight."

"What in the world was that?" Remus asked Lily quietly as she siphoned the memory back into the phial.

"That was Sirius and Lily having sex," Lily said as she corked the phial.

"But you didn't have sex with Sirius last night," Remus said. "He got to the finish line too soon."

"Yes, I know," Lily said darkly. "I had to sit in that for four hours last night while I recreated the scene."

"Wait, what?" James said looking up at her, as if seeing Lily for the first time. His arm was still locked around Sirius' head.

"James, I didn't have sex," Lily said.

"But I saw…"

"You saw what you needed to see," Lily said.

"That wasn't a created memory, though," Remus said shaking his head. "It wasn't created."

"Polyjuice potion and two consenting adults," Lily said glancing at Alice and Frank.

"We've already had sex before," Alice said simply. "It was actually kind of exciting sleeping with Sirius, and Lily you have a hot body."

"Thanks," Lily said blushing.

"Wait, you turned Frank into me?" Sirius said frowning. "Why?"

"I got to thinking," Lily said. "About the time you peaked on me, thanks by the way… I'm traumatized. Anyways, Narcissa had said that James wasn't functioning properly… going off before he'd get started and what not… he never completed. So, technically he hasn't done anything more than I had at that point. When Sirius failed to perform, '_getting to the finish line'_ before the race even started …"

"Hey, it's been like eight months!" Sirius defended. "I got a little excited, that's all. It could have happened to anyone."

"Gotcha," Lily said nodding. "It was gross by the way, thanks for the gift of your loving, Sirius."

"No problem," Sirius said from the choke-hold James still had him in, his face red.

"Anyways, I decided that maybe it didn't really have to be me," Lily said. "James just had to think it was me. I talked to Alice and Frank."

"Doesn't it take like a month to brew polyjuice potion?" James asked.

"Yeah, which I had started over a month ago at Professor Slughorn's request. Something about letting us experience it in April to see what it is like to walk in each other's bodies or something. So, I, uh, _borrowed_ some," Lily said.

"So, you didn't sleep with Sirius, for real?" James asked as he loosened his hold on Sirius's head.

"Nope," Lily said. "I didn't go that far with him. I did kiss him and stuff, Remus too, but no, I did not sleep with him."

"Oh, thank god," James said in relief while releasing Sirius. The two boys climbed up off the floor.

"So, you're back to your old self, right?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Yes," James said. "And it is a relief. Do you know how many girls I kissed?"

"Not exactly something I want to think about, really," Lily said cringing. "It's ok. I got around a bit, too."

"Remus and Sirius," James said shaking his head. "How could you?"

"I wanted you back," Lily said simply.

"No, I mean physically? Their disgusting," James teased.

"What you ought to be asking was how far did I push the envelope, mate," Sirius teased ducking before James could deliver another well placed blow.

"Let's get you two checked out by Madame Pomfrey," Lily suggested as she slipping under James' arm. "You look like you were out for blood."

The two boys sat in the hospital wing on opposite beds. The witch shook her head, clucking her tongue disapprovingly as she checked them out. She had asked what had happened and before anyone could make up a believable story, Lily blurted out the truth.

"You should have come straight to me," Madame Pomfrey said shaking her head. "Every couple of years this rumored potion without an antidote strikes at Hogwarts, leaving its victim randy as fat kid in a candy shop and as useful as blind man's reading glasses. I keep the antidote on stock."

"An antidote? There's an antidote?" Remus asked as he brought his hand to his head, as if plagued with a horrible headache.

"I'm going to kill Severus Snape," James growled.

"Not if I get to him first," Lily said angrily. "I can't believe I went through all of that when there really WAS something less drastic to be done."

"You know what this means, right?" Sirius said as he leaned back to look at James who was creeping closer to Lily.

"What?" James asked as he encircled Lily with his arms and kissed the side of her neck.

"This means that you and Lily are both still quite pure, though," Sirius said smirking. Lily looked at him, confused as she pulled away from James a bit.

"You're still a… _virgin_?" Lily asked in disbelief. James shrugged and blushed.

"I was saving it for you."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Ok, so I know it has been a bit since I last posted a chapter. It wasn't because I was slacking, I promise. Well that's not true. I was slacking, working on other projects. Sorry! I doubt this chapter will make it up, though. Sorry again! I know this is freakishly short. Again, sorry. Wow… I feel like I am apologizing a lot.

**Disc.:** I claim plot, spelling and grammatical errors, and a poor sense of direction. The rest, no.

**Chapter 31**

Lily was sitting alone in the room of requirement, her wand balanced precariously on her index finger. She had her legs crossed, one of her shoes loosely dangling on her toes. She had her book cracked open and she was reading. Lily shifted slightly, turning the page.

"Please tell me you aren't back to reading that book!" Alice cried as she and Frank entered the room of requirement. Lily looked up at her best friend, grinning.

"No, I learned my lesson with that book. It's tucked away safe in my trunk. This is a little advanced charms work, here," Lily said laughing. She waved her wand and conjured two squashy chairs for them.

"Good to know," Alice said as she took the chair.

"Well, we should begin operation kill Severus," Lily said as she waved her wand and a blackboard appeared.

"Shouldn't we wait for the boys?" Alice asked. Lily shook her head.

"They're going to be late, probably," Lily said. "They never show up on time for anything."

"You must be talking about us," Sirius said as the Marauders entered the room of requirement. He laughed and took a seat in one of the chairs that seemed to have sprouted up in the room.

"Lily," Remus said nodding as he took one of the seats. James hesitated before planting a kiss on her lips and taking a seat next to her.

"Well, we all know why we are here," Lily said as she glanced up at Peter as he walked in late.

"The revenge isn't working," Sirius piped up. "Snape is disarming the traps, blocking the spells, and heading us off at every turn."

"I'd like to go on record and say '_I told you so'_, again," Lily said. Sirius made a face.

"No one liked your idea. It was so lame," Sirius said shaking his head. Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

"I am telling you it will be undetectable, he'd never suspect, therefore he'd not be on guard about it, and it would thoroughly destroy him," Lily said.

"It's lame," Remus agreed. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Lily said crossing her arms. "It just that you guys have been working on it for over a month and we are no closer to you guys inflicting revenge on him."

"Well, if he'd quit defending himself," James said pouting. Lily shook her head at him.

"You didn't actually think he'd not be on his guard since you returned to normal. He's expecting retaliation from you guys," Lily said. "That's why my plan is better."

"Your plan is lame," Sirius whined again.

"It's not lame," Lily defended.

"It is too," James said reluctantly. Lily crossed her arms.

"Fine," Lily said. She stood up. "Do it yourself."

"Awe, c'mon Lily," James said standing. He shot Sirius a look before chasing after her. Lily was walking a breakneck speed down the corridor trying to leave James behind. The Quidditch player had a hard time catching up with her, but he managed to despite Lily's desire.

"James, I just wish that you'd back me up," Lily snapped at him as the two of them stood in the corridor. Her hands were on her hip, disappointment etched onto her face.

"I back you up, but I just don't believe that your plan is going to work," James said helplessly. Lily gave him a look.

"I bet it will destroy him," Lily said crossing her arms. James shook his head, wrapping his arms around her.

"Lily, you're too sweet to destroy anyone," James said as his mouth caressed hers. She jerked back, angry.

"I can be a ruthless bitch," Lily snapped.

"You, Lily, can be a lot of things," James said pulling her close and kissing her neck lightly. "But ruthless bitch is not one of them." James felt Lily tense up a bit and he backed away, releasing her. She looked greatly annoyed. Her arms were still crossed.

"Fine, just don't expect any help with the revenge," Lily said coolly. She kissed his lips quickly and stalked off back down the corridor. Lily hated that he still thought that she was unable to be cruel and vindictive, which right now she was feeling quite hostile. She was so deep in thought that she brushed past Severus and Narcissa without even realizing it.

"Mudblood Bitch," Narcissa breathed as Lily passed. Lily spun around.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," Narcissa smirked. Lily glared at her.

"You called me a bitch," Lily reminded her hotly. She was still pissed off.

"No," Narcissa said shaking her head. "I called you a Mudblood bitch… and I'll add that you're in heat, ready and waiting to spread your legs for any of the Marauders."

"If you hadn't been such a pathetic excuse for a pure blood, maybe you wouldn't have to poison other pure bloods to be with you," Lily taunted. She pulled out a piece of parchment from her pocket. "Wouldn't Lucius Malfoy be interested to know what his betrothed was doing back at school while he's off being the best little death eater possible."

"You cunt," Narcissa snarled as she stepped forward.

"Ladies, please," Severus said grinning as Lily stepped forward.

"Shut it," Lily and Narcissa both snapped at him angrily. Severus' face deflated as the smile left his lips and he stepped back.

"You think you know everything," Narcissa accused coldly. "James told me all about how easy you really were, how easily you spread your legs. Isn't that right, James?" The Marauders, Alice, and Frank were standing at the opposite end of the hallway. Lily glanced at them, her face red with embarrassment.

"Lily," Severus warned as Lily clenched her wand in her hand.

"You shut the hell up!" Lily screamed at him, throwing her wand to the side. "We're going to handle this without magic."

"What?" Narcissa asked as Lily made some sort of animalistic noise and lunged at Narcissa, knocking the blond girl's wand aside. The witnesses in the hallway froze.

"Should we do something?" Remus murmured as the girls clawed, scratched, and wrestled around on the floor. They were swearing a lot, though nothing seemed to make any sense. Everyone quickly shook their heads.

"Oh, wow," James said quietly. "Watching two girls fighting is actually rather hot."

"I have to agree," Sirius murmured nodding. "Even if one is my vile cousin."

"What on Earth is going on here?" Professor McGonagall shrill voice cut through the chaos of the events transpiring in the hallway. She separated the girls with precise wand motions. The girls were glaring at each other, daggers of hate and rage shooting at each other. "Well?"

"Nothing Professor," Lily said through gritted teeth as she dared Narcissa to contradict her.

"Nothing? I dare say this looks a might more than nothing!" Professor McGonagall said as she looked at Narcissa. Narcissa wiped the blood from her lip.

"It was nothing," Narcissa said coolly. "We're just trying to get the boys randy for a little play time."

"Naturally," Professor McGonagall said. "Wait, what?"

"It's part of the whole work up," Lily lied. "Narcissa and I thought it'd be fun, then I would run off to James and Narcissa would head off with Severus."

"I do not condone unmarried relations," Professor McGonagall said. "Fifty points from Gryffindor and Slytherin for fighting, and each of you will have detention."

"No!" the two girls protested.

"I don't care about your perfect records," Professor McGonagall said. She pointed down the hall. "Now, all of you off to bed before I give more detentions."

"Yes, ma'am," they all grumbled as they walked away.

"My word, and prefects and heads involved," the woman clucked to herself.

"This isn't over, Evans," Narcissa sneered menacingly.

"No, Black, it isn't," Lily growled back and the two groups parted on the stairs, Slytherins to the dungeon and Gryffindors to the tower.


	32. Chapter 32 EDIT

**A/N:** EDIT Author's note deleted.

_**Side note, this chapter is the 'revenge' chapter, and is longer. Also there is sex (though tastefully written, in my opinion). Read at your own risk.**_

**Disc.:** I own just the sorry direction this story has turned. The rest belongs to the creator.

**Chapter 32**

Lily walked slowly towards Professor Slughorn's classroom, each step as if she was carrying a vast weight upon her leg. Tonight would be her first detention, then she had patrol to attend to, and still she had several feet of parchment to write for classes. Of all the times to get detention, this was just not a really good time. Not at all.

"Ok," Professor Slughorn said as he gestured to a large table of items. "I am going to need for you to de-seed these Granates and then crush the oil from the seeds. It should take you the better of four hours."

Lily groaned, unhappy at the prospects of spending the next four hours with that foul mouth blond from Slytherin. Both girls glared at each other as Lily took her place at the opposite end of the table. Lily rolled her sleeves up and began working, ignoring Professor Slughorn's snores as they rattled the window panes made the pile of Granates shiver.

"Why did you do it?" Lily asked finally, unable to take the silent glares from the other girl. Narcissa placed her knife down on the table.

"Why? You couldn't begin to understand," Narcissa said coolly.

"Because I'm not a pure blood?" Lily retorted. Narcissa nodded. Lily shook her head and continued to work at the task at hand.

"You don't know how hard we pure bloods have it," Narcissa said insistently. "We're expected to marry other pure bloods or we are considered blood traitors."

"That doesn't explain a damn thing," Lily said losing her temper.

"Pure blooded witches and wizard have to marry each other, to make our blood lines strong," Narcissa explained as she picked up her own knife and went back to work. "I don't want to marry Lucius Malfoy."

"Then don't," Lily said bored at Narcissa's whining.

"I have to marry a pure blood, and if I can't find another one to be my husband, my father is going to make me marry him the minute school is out," Narcissa whined. "After my sister Bella decided that her loyalties laid _elsewhere _and my blood traitor sister Andromeda married a muggle, my father wanted to make sure that at least one of his daughters married properly."

"This is really entertaining," fibbed Lily as she continued to work on the task. She continued to crush the seeds she had retrieved and placed the oil in the small phials.

"I wanted James to get me pregnant," Narcissa said quietly, almost as if under her breath. "That way he'd be forced to marry me."

Lily squeezed the dagger so hard that the blade pierced the flesh of her palm. She looked up at Narcissa with such hate and loathing. Narcissa slowly looked up at Lily, and for the first time Lily was certain she saw sadness and fear in the blond girl's blue eyes. Narcissa's eyes grew wide as her hand fell on the dagger in Lily's hand, blood thick as it squeezed between her fingers. Lily's mind finally registered the burn of the blade in her palm and she jerked her hand open, the dagger falling with a clang to the stone floor.

"You are vile," Lily breathed as she pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and wrapped it around her hand. "You are pathetic."

"I know," Narcissa said.

"You would have ruined more than just his life if you had been successful," Lily growled as she picked up her dagger and cleared the blade before finishing up her task.

"I know," Narcissa said softly.

"You disgust me," Lily said. She turned to the girl, her dagger pointed at Narcissa menacingly. "This is what you meant by saying that James was no good to you that way. He couldn't have sex with you and therefore wasn't going to be able to get you pregnant. You are a coward! To trick James into getting you pregnant so that you wouldn't have to marry Malfoy, it's disgusting."

"You wouldn't understand! I have to marry a pure blood!" Narcissa said. "Malfoy is just so cruel, calculating. He doesn't love anyone! How can I possible willingly marry a man who could never love me, and then have children with him?"

"Do you really honestly believe James could love you?" Lily challenged. "The man who has been trying to get ME to go out with him since first year, do you really think he'd love you?"

"He could learn," Narcissa said hopefully. "He's a man of integrity and honor."

"And he is a pure blood," Lily reminded her loathingly. "Couldn't it be said that Malfoy could learn to love you?"

"Malfoy only loves one person, himself," Narcissa said as a tear involuntarily slipped down her face. She wiped it away quickly.

"I refuse to pity you," Lily said coldly. "You nearly ruined James' life."

"Would it have?" Narcissa said doubtfully. "There are worst things than two pure bloods marrying each other because of a baby."

"You mean like poisoning one against his true love?" Lily snapped. She crushed the last of the seeds, corked the phials, and walked to Professor Slughorn's desk.

"Done already, good," the man said sleepily as he yawned. Narcissa handed him her own phials and the two girls silently collected their stuff. "I hope that this teaches you two girls that no man is worth fighting over."

"Quite the opposite," Lily murmured. "This man is worth killing for."

Narcissa looked up at her in surprise as Lily started out of the classroom. Lily checked her watch. She was late for patrol, which meant for the first time ever, she was going to have to thank whoever had covered for her. She had been patrolling since third year, and never had she been late, but now she was not only getting detention, she was being tardy for patrol.

"Hey, you made it," James said as he stood crossing his arms outside of the sixth floor girls' lavatory.

"I told you I'd be here," Lily said as she allowed herself to be kissed.

"Wow, detention makes you one cranky girl," James teased.

"What are you doing hanging out up here? Where's Remus?" Lily asked. James shrugged grinning. Lily looked at him suspiciously and pushed the door open to the girls' lavatory.

"Audience," Moan Myrtle said positively beaming. Lily raised an eyebrow and looked over at one of the larger stalls, the door missing. Sirius and Remus were holding a third person upside down by their ankles, the person's head deep in the toilet.

"A swirly?" Lily asked shaking her head as Remus and Sirius pulled Severus Snape up for a breath. "That's your big revenge? And I am the lame one."

"Hey, we had to get someone to cover for you," James laughed as Remus and Sirius lowered Severus into the girls' loo and began flushing again. The water was flowing over the bowl, soaking their shoes, but neither boy cared.

"You three are so lame," Lily yawned as she flicked her wand at them with a bored expression on her face. Severus sprung free of Remus and Sirius, sputtering and spitting. He coughed, toilet water dribbling from his mouth down the front of his robes.

"I don't need your help, you Mudblood," Severus spat angrily at Lily. "Did you ever think the reason they pick on me so much is because of you?"

"Fine," Lily snapped. "Flush away boys. Rid this bathroom of that filth."

Lily turned and left the bathroom, not carrying what James, Sirius, and Remus did to Severus Snape anymore. She grinned as she thought of her own dastardly plan, knowing it would be a million times worse than actually physically tormenting Severus. She headed straight back to her dorm room and began looking around for what she had been collecting since she found out about Severus' plot against James. The boys may not want her help, but they needed it.

Lily finished up her patrol through the school, not running into another student during her walk. She headed down to the bowels of the school, where the house elves did all of their work. As expected, the house elves were hard at work and barely noticed her. One house elf sauntered up to her, handing her a package. Lily smiled and nodded, taking it without a single word exchanged. She glanced at the wall of shelving, each one foot by one foot cube assigned to a specific student, broken up by houses, grade levels, and then by name.

Lily walked to one of the cubbies and pulled out the parcel that was waiting in it, replacing it with the parcel in her hand. She smiled, and left the laundry facility, heading back up to her dorm room. She tossed the parcel on her bed, sighing, and kicked off her shoes. She pulled off her clothes and pulled on her favorite pajamas before grabbing her book bag and heading back down to the empty common room to work on her essays. She spread out over the cocktail table and the two sofas closest to the ideal fireplace.

Sometime after midnight, James, Sirius, and Remus re-entered the common room laughing and goofing off. Lily looked up at them wearily, shaking her head. They looked like they were three very naughty boys caught doing things that they shouldn't have been doing. Lily was almost inclined to tell them off, but she remembered that they were all well above legal age now. The boys didn't need her mothering them to death. Lily turned back to her essay.

"What are you working on?" James asked as he broke the silence. Lily looked up.

"Essays for Defense and Transfiguration," Lily said tensely. Sirius and Remus continued up the stairs, leaving Lily and James alone in the common room.

"Do you want to take a few minute break? You look tense and tired," James offered. Lily nodded.

"I am tense and tired," Lily said. James walked over and glanced at Lily's tiny handwriting, so neat and perfect.

"You know you'd be done already if you didn't write so small," James offered. Lily laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I just want to get good marks," Lily said. James wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't think you could ever get a bad mark," James whispered as he kissed her neck. Lily giggled despite herself. "Perhaps a walk to the astronomy tower?"

Lily couldn't believe she was skipping out on her essays to spend some late-night, after hour time with James in the astronomy tower. Lily wasn't stupid, though. She knew what would happen in the astronomy tower, for sure. Lily found James more than eager to kiss her quite possessively, much to her delight. She nearly didn't even think about all the girls he had been kissing over the past weeks.

"I love you," James breathed as he moved his mouth from her mouth, his lips brushing her neck.

"I love you too, James," Lily said simply as James' fingers nimbly unbuttoned her shirt. She breathed in sharply as his hand slid between the crisp fabric of the shirt and the lacy bra underneath. She wasn't shy or hesitant as she kissed him, their clothing being snatched off here and there until they were laying quite close, nothing but air between their sandwiched bodies.

"Are you sure?" James asked her as she allowed herself lay back against the cool stone of the floor.

"Yes," Lily said. James shook his head.

"Not here," James said. He pulled out his wand and summoned his broom.

"But under the stars!" Lily protested.

"Trust me," James said shoving her clothes back in her hands. Lily pulled on what she could find, the rest oddly missing from the pile. James climbed onto his broom, wearing only his trousers, Lily joined him. The two of them headed deep into the forbidden forest before landing in a mossy clearing by a stream.

"Is this where I think it is?" Lily asked.

"Where Remus attacked, yes," James said. Lily shot him a look.

"Why here?" Lily asked.

"This is where I was when I realized how much I really love you and that I would do anything to be with you forever," James said quietly as he conjured a soft blanket. He lowered himself to the blanket and helped her down to the spot next to him. He kissed her softly, tenderly as he again unbuttoned her shirt.

"Oh," Lily murmured as James reached pulled her shirt free from her body, placing affectionate little kisses on her shoulders, trailing down between her breasts.

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known," James murmured as he caressed one of her breasts while sampling the other. "You are so smart, funny, and I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."

"Um," Lily moaned as she felt his mouth leave her skin. She watched him in the nearly full moon… had it already been a month again? James finished undressing her slowly, as if prolonging his pleasure just to torture himself.

"I promise, I will make you very happy, Lily," James promised as he freed her from the last of her clothes. She nodded, unable to speak. She watched as he undressed, standing before her as bare as the day he was born.

"I love you James," Lily whispered as James joined her on the blanket.

"I love you, Lily," James replied as he lowered his mouth to hers. He went slow, not certain if he was doing it right. It was the most indescribably intense action he had experienced. He continued to kiss her as he paused, waiting for her to get used to the sensation herself.

"I'm ok," Lily promised.

"Ok," James said as he struggled a moment. His body wanted to go fast but his mind warned him to go slow. Though he normally would listen to his body, his mind was right and he complied with what his mind insisted. He didn't want to hurt her.

"I… think I'm," James moaned slightly. Lily nodded; her mouth met his in one of their more passionate kisses. James flinched slightly, unaware that a release with a girl would be so much more intense than when he released on his own. James rested his head against her chest, waiting until the last possible moment before pulling free of her.

He rolled off of her, pulling her against him. He felt the strongest pull to sleep, but he knew from listening to Sirius that girls liked to cuddle afterwards and got cranky if the boy fell asleep directly after. Still, James had a hard time staying awake. He focused on the stars up in the heaven, watching them twinkle, millions of light years away. He looked down to see Lily was fast asleep, her face on his chest and her body pressed against his.

The next morning, Lily was terribly mad that not only had he let her sleep, that she was still naked out in the middle of the forbidden forest. She pulled her clothes on quickly, ignoring James as he watched her so amazed at her body. She looked at him and slapped his shoulder.

"Get dressed otherwise we are both going to be late for class," Lily growled. James snapped into action, pulling on his clothes. They headed straight to class, hoping to slid into their seats right before the bell.

"You're nearly late," Alice whispered, leaning across the aisle to talk to Lily. "And you look like hell."

"Thanks, Alice," Lily replied.

"Your stuff was all over the common room this morning," Remus said simply as he handed her the book bag. She threw her arms around Remus.

"Thanks!" Lily said.

"Sirius finished your essay for you," Remus warned. Lily's mouth dropped and she jerked it free from her bag, flipping to the end. He had matched her handwriting perfectly and he had finished it perfectly. She glanced behind her to where Sirius was sitting next to James.

"Thanks," Lily mouthed at Sirius. He shrugged and smiled.

"You have grass in your hair," James murmured as he reached forward and pulled a few blades free. Professor McGonagall summoned all of the essays to the front just as Severus and Narcissa entered the classroom late. Narcissa had been using hers to cover her obviously too small uniform (but only in the waist) and Severus' burst out of the bottom of his back pack. The class stared at the two of them as multicolored bras and panties exploded out of Severus' back pack… a particularly bright colored bra clung to his scroll.

"Oh my GOD!" Libby cried out as she recognized the bra. "That's where my bra went!"

"T-those aren't m-mine," Severus stuttered as Libby snatched her bra off Severus' scroll, the little metal hook ripping the parchment.

Ripple of laughter from the boys was barely audible over the outrage of the girls as they recognized missing unmentionables. Horror crossed Severus' face, his face flushed. Professor McGonagall looked neither shocked nor amused as Severus started scooping up the panties and bras, insisting that they weren't his and that he didn't know how they could have gotten into his back pack.

"That's just disgusting, you pervert," Alice sneered as she plucked a pair that had her name written on them. Severus shook his head.

"I didn't- I wouldn't," Severus stumbled through as he looked helplessly at Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Snape, I don't know where you got your collection of Hogwarts' girls unmentionables, but I recommend that you give them back this instant," Professor McGonagall said sternly. One by one, the girls milled forward, leering at Severus as if he were some sexual predator, to claim their unmentionables. Most girls set them on fire the minute they claimed them, not wanting to put on the underwear that was pilfered by him.

Lily stepped forward last, the last pair of panties clutched in Severus' hand tightly. She frowned, not remembering putting a pair of her own in the bag. She slowly took them, recognizing them from last night. Realization that he possibly could have been in the astronomy tower last night, that he could have seen her with James… no worse, he probably saw her naked. She felt nauseated.

"I hope you had a good time with my panties," Lily said coldly as she waved her wand over them, the flame intense and only increasing the heat in the room.

"I swear, I don't know where they came from," Severus said though this time, when directed only at Lily, she didn't believe him.

"You are one dirty man," Lily said shaking her head, a smirk on her face to mask the disgust. She returned to her desk.

"I swear, I don't know how they could have gotten in there," Severus protested as he took his seat.

"That's enough," Professor McGonagall said as she directed her attention to Narcissa. "Dear, maybe you should go back to your dorm and change into another school uniform."

"They all fit this way," Narcissa said helplessly.

"Perhaps you should get an anti-bloat potion from Madame Pomfrey," Professor McGonagall suggested gently.

"I did," Narcissa said on the brink of tears. "It's the only reason I was able to button it as much as I can."

"Ok, well… until you can order larger uniforms, just have a seat then," Professor McGonagall said as she glanced over the class, daring them to laugh at the seemingly too chunky for her uniform Narcissa Black.

"I need a shower," James grunted as he sniffed himself. Sirius looked at him helplessly and nodded.

"You smell like sex," Remus offered. James rolled his eyes.

"Well, we can't all run right after class to wash away the sins of mere mortal flesh," James said poetically as Lily took the seat next to him. He kissed her and she pushed him away lightly.

"You reek," Lily said as she made a face. "You smell like us."

"Your smell isn't so bad," Remus offered Lily causing heat to rise in her cheeks. "It's James."

"Gross," Alice said as she joined them. "That you can smell things like that."

"Well, with James, I don't imagine you'd have to have that sensitive of a sniffer," Sirius said casually. "His virility is something of Gods."

"I get it, I get it," James surrendered as he stood. "I'm off to the showers, and then we're going to have a little chat about what really happened today in Transfiguration."

"I don't know what you mean, James," Lily said sweetly before giving him a devilish smile.

"Lily Evans, I swear you've got a devil in you yet," James laughed.

"Well, she did last night for sure," Sirius joked.

"Shut it, Sirius," Lily squealed throwing a couch pillow at him, hitting square in the face.

"Hurry back," Sirius warned James as he retrieved a pillow. "Otherwise you're going to come back to a murdered girlfriend."

"What?" Lily said as she ran away from him. "You are going to suave me to death?"

"Nice one," Remus laughed as James exited and headed to the showers.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** _In celebration of six hours of exams that I will have on Wednesday February 13, I have decided to complete the term and the revenge. In a fate that seems to be working well for my readers, the internet is down so I am focused on writing you this entire little chapter. It is short, but concise._

**Disc.:**_ I own the plot, the grammatical errors, and such. The rest belongs to someone else entirely._

**Chapter Thirty Three  
**

The great hall was devoid of the long spanning tables that used to occupy the space. As head girl and boy, Lily and James oversaw the changes taking place for the preparation of their exams. James watched as Lily paced back and forth, directing the placement of each testing station. He laughed at the seriousness of the girl.

"Stop laughing James," Lily murmured absentmindedly as she adjusted one of the stations. "The tests are in a just a little while and it has to be perfect."

"You never did tell me," James said as he watched her continue to walk up and down the aisle. "Did you have anything to do what happened to Snape in Transfiguration?"

"Please, James," Lily said amused as she looked up from where she was standing. "I am head girl."

"That doesn't answer my question," James said. Lily smirked.

"It's all the answer that you are going to get from me," Lily said laughing. She glanced at her watch. "It's time for everyone to arrive. Nervous?"

"About my N.E.W.T.'s? No," James said shaking his head. "You shouldn't be either. You're the smartest person in our class."

"Such a flatterer, James," Lily said as the teachers entered the room. Lily was handed the box of quills and she began setting them down, two to each desk. She glanced at James before she continued.

Within thirty minutes, the entire seventh year class filed in and took their seats, arranged by rank. Severus Snape sat directly behind Lily Evans. As each girl walked in, they glared at Severus in disgusted. Since the incident with the underwear three weeks prior, Severus was being treated like a deviant. It was quite interesting that how many people turned and ran from Severus, even from his own house. Slytherin didn't even want to be associated with the man. He didn't have a friend in the world.

Lily glanced back at Severus and smiled, much to his surprise, before she turned around and faced forward. The professors stood at the front of the great hall, the exams in their hands. Professor Dumbledore stood and waved his hands, the door sealing them in.

"The doors will not open until the last exam is turned in, and any answers charms have been checked against the quills," Professor Dumbledore said cheerily. "Be certain of your answers for once you answer is written, the question and answer will fade from your exam."

One by one the exams were placed in front of each student. Lily glanced over at James, Sirius, Remus, and Alice sitting in a row three from Lily. She grinned at them, winked, and gave them the thumbs up.

Lily was the first done, quite satisfied with her answers. She sat back in her chair as she heard the faint pop of scrolls being vanished around her. She heard Severus sigh at the vanishing scroll and she grinned really big. It was perfect. The revenge was complete.

When Peter finally finished his exams, the last person of all the seventh year students, they were finally released. Lily jumped up, swiping Severus' quill off his desk undetected and wrapping her arms around James. He pressed his mouth against Lily's.

"I take it you did well," James said. Lily grinned.

"Why, yes I did," Lily said. She glanced at the others. "How do you think you all did?"

"Eh," Sirius said shrugging. "I think I did ok."

"I did fine," Remus said.

"We did wonderfully," Alice said laughing as Frank whispered in her ear. Alice blushed and grinned. "We'll see you all in a few minutes."

"This is yours," Lily said to Sirius, thrusting the ordinary looking quill in his hand as they headed toward the common room. Alice and Frank disappeared somewhere between the great hall and the portrait hall, presumably to physically celebrate the ending of the exams.

"What's this?" Sirius asked. Lily grinned slightly.

"You're smart ass quill," Lily said.

"The one you took from me at the beginning of the year?" Sirius asked. Lily nodded as James pulled her down into a chair with him.

"The one in the same," Lily murmured giggling as James nuzzled her neck. "Severus used it to take his exams."

"Wait, what?" James asked pulling away.

"Instead of using a regular quill, Severus wrote answers with the smart ass quill and those were the answers recorded," Lily said. "His smart ass responses will get him failed in his N.E.W.T.s. He's going to be forced to take a mandatory six week crash course in N.E.W.T. subjects and retest."

"That's harsh," Sirius said laughing. "Mr. Perfect score is going to blow his lid when he gets those over the summer."

"What do I care?" Lily asked shrugging. "He should have thought twice before he screwed with me and my emotions."

"How could you be certain that it would only hurt him?" Remus asked. Lily grinned.

"I charmed it so that only the smart answers could be written by him," Lily said. "I couldn't let him hurt anyone else again."

"Brilliant," Sirius whispered elbowing Remus.

"I just never knew you had this cruelty to you," James said grinning. "It's really exciting."

"Who's lame now?" Lily taunted laughing.

"Not you, certainly," James said kissing her neck.

"Well, since Severus is going to be tied up for the summer, now it seems like Alice and I will need a chaperone on our backpacking tour across the world for the summer," Lily said tauntingly. She feigned sadness. "I just don't know who I am going to share my bedroll with."

"Uh, me," James said slightly forcibly.

"You're not going without me," Sirius said shaking his head.

"Me neither," Remus said. He thought a moment. "Though I'm not sure what we are going to do on the full moon."

"Well, damn," Lily said thoughtfully. "I guess that I need to work on more rooms in the tent."

"Nah, James, Remus, and I can bunk up," Sirius said. Lily shot him a look.

"I'm not about to give up a summer waking up in James' arms," Lily said possessively as she wrapped his arms around James' neck. James grinned hard.

"Ok, ok," James laughed. "There's enough of me to go around."

"Such a cocky bastard," Sirius teased. "So, we can come?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Lily murmured. She summoned a piece of paper and handed it to James. "We are meeting on July 1st in Washington D.C., America. We will be there for their American Independency Day. Don't lose it, you only get one copy and we wait for no one."

"Wait, where will you be until then?" James asked as he stuffed the paper in his pocket. She grinned.

"I'll be right here with you, then Alice's wedding, a few days after school," Lily said running over her itinerary in her mind. "Then I will be heading to visit my sister until I catch a plane and fly to our meeting point."

"Fly on a plane?" James said with his face screwed up in distasteful way.

"Didn't I mention?" Lily asked. "Except in very rare places, our magic will cease to work. It is part of the charm of the muggle excursion."

"No, I don't think you did," Sirius said.

"Still want to come?" Lily asked.

"Hell yeah," James said. "But right now, I want you to come celebrate with me up in my dorm room."

"Always giving me an offer that I cannot refuse," Lily said as she let James lead her up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

"I have another offer for you, but I want to wait until this summer to give it to you," James teased as he shut the dormitory door. Sirius glanced up at the door to see James open it slightly and hang his tie on the knob.

"So, Remus," Sirius said. "We're the last two single boys among us, aside from Peter, and that's kind of expected. It's pathetic. We've got to get a girlfriend or two between us."

"Well, until then," Remus suggest. "Perhaps some Wizarding Chess?"

**A/N:** _So that is it for second term of their seventh year. The exams are taken, and summer will be starting soon. Sounds like Lily's got an interesting summer planned… the only thing missing? Well, can you guess what will be missing?_

_The thing I ask you readers… you choose by popular vote: __**A)**__ Continue this story here or __**B)**__ Start a new Story elsewhere?_

_You decide!_


	34. C34: A Ring

**A/N:** _Ok, so by popular vote we will continue right here, right where we left off (well, not really). Some time has passed between the partings of the lovers. Alice and Frank have already married and currently they are off doing what married people do giggles. James, Sirius, and Remus are together. Lily's visiting her sister. These chapters will include titles (whether they are relevant has yet to be seen) and the scenes that didn't quite make it into the story are going to grow ever longer, I fear. Also, Lily has a diary now (to keep up with her since not everything is really relevant or fits nicely in the story). There are hints towards what is going to happen, teasers, and such. You needn't read it or follow it, but I have to say that it is a great accompaniment to this part of the story and on:_ **Lily's Diary**. (Fanfiction readers will have to head to the biopage to use the link there, portkey readers can just click on the hyperlink) _Read and review._

**Disclaimer:** _I own my mind, the rest the bank owns, and what they don't own belongs to others…_

**C34: ****A Ring**

Sirius was snuggled deep in his thick blankets, thankful for at least a little bit of sleep before James burst into his room well before dawn. He had been doing that for a week, usually in a hysterical panic. Had they packed enough clothes? Where was the itinerary? Would she still like him after the time apart? Sirius laughed a James a lot over the past month. They had attended Alice's wedding, beautiful if he did say so. Almost made him want to start to think about settling down, almost, but he was still embracing his summer filled with temptation and no strings attached.

"Sirius…" James started as he climbed into bed with Sirius. Sirius buried deeper in his blanket with a quiet growl. James prodded Sirius with his wand. "Sirius… what if she says no to me?"

"Grr…" Sirius growled a little louder. James poked him harder. "That better be your wand."

"No, I'm just happy to see you," James said laughing and throwing his arm across Sirius. "Cuddle with me."

"Oh, God," Remus murmured as he entered the room. "Should I come back?"

"No, join," Sirius yawned. "Just don't invite Peter. I think he thought we were serious last time and went for a feelsie."

"Who was joking last time?" James taunted with an evil grin.

"You're going to give your mom a stroke," warned Remus as he jumped on the end of the bed.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked.

"Nearly six in the morning," Remus yawned.

"Sheesh, James, couldn't you at least wait until closer to the time the stores open?" Sirius groaned loudly.

"No," James said shaking his head. "I want to be first in line at Gringott's. Mum said that I could have Great Granny Sophie's ring."

"Then you're serious, then?" Sirius yawned again brushing his hair out of his face. James nodded eagerly.

"I know it seems so sudden," James started.

"No, not really," Remus interjected.

"I just love her to bits," James said.

"And her _bits_ are nice, too," Sirius laughed. James rolled his eyes.

"You've been watching the pensieve again, haven't you?" James asked glancing around the still dark room.

"I haven't had any action in like almost a year," Sirius defended. "At least polyjuice me is getting some action."

"God, have you been molesting yourself to it?" Remus asked distastefully.

"Well, you wouldn't lend me a hand," Sirius taunted the other boy.

"I don't know if I like the idea of you watching yourself have sex with my girlfriend," James said a little darkly.

"Even if it is a polyjuiced Alice as Lily, and a polyjuiced Frank as Sirius?" Remus asked. Sirius grabbed his head.

"You're making my head spin, stop," Sirius begged. "My jaw still smarts were you punched me."

"Baby, that was nearly three months ago!" James said.

"Look, mate, I know you're excited," Sirius yawned as he pulled the cover back over his head. "But I'd like to catch a few more hours of sleep."

"Not going to happen," James said. "We've got a lot to do before we catch our flight to the United States."

"Why'd she pick there as our first stop?" Sirius grumbled. "Customs is always trying to probe me."

"Don't play like you don't like it," Remus laughed. Sirius shot him a look.

"Not cool, Remus," Sirius said pouncing on him. "I'm going to give you fleas."

"I know you can't," Remus laughed and rolled away from Sirius. "Mrs. Potter gave you a flea dip the minute you came home."

"Bugger," Sirius said pouting.

"Anyways, Lily chose it for their Independence Day celebrations," Remus said.

"Washington, here we come," James said. He looked at his watch. "Ok, maybe a few more hours of sleep."

"That's my Marauder," Sirius yawned climbing back under his covers.

"You two are so going to turn me gay," Remus sighed displeased as James patted the bed next to him. "We would we be if we don't create the next generation of Marauders."

"Irritating the Auror-in-training instructors at ATA," James yawned.

"Go over the flight plan again?" Sirius yawned again.

"We catch the flight from London to the United States. I wanted the changeover to happen in New York, but Dad said that we'd enjoy some southern hospitality so we're changing planes in Atlanta," James said sleepily. "Some long ass named airport… Hartsfield-Jackson-Smith-and-Wesson-International-Airport-of-the-South-will-rise-again-General-Lee-Harvey-Oswald."

"Really? That long?" Sirius asked pushing himself up off the bed. James and Remus laughed, shaking their heads.

"No, but it is practically that long," James said.

"Couldn't they just have said Atlanta Airport?" Sirius asked.

"I donno," James said shrugging. "Anyways, we'll hop a flight from Atlanta to Washington."

"Ok," Sirius said. "Sounds like it's going to go off without a hitch."

"No! I can't believe you said that," Remus groaned as he shook his head. "That's a jinx, it is! This trip is DOOMED! Doomed I tell you!"

"You sound like a raving lunatic," Sirius warned.

"You never say crap like that. It's like telling an actor or actress 'Good luck' before his or her performance," Remus practically wept.

"Ok, sorry," Sirius grumbled. "I take it back."

"You can't take back words that you have already said," Remus cried.

"Oh, shut it you two ninnies," James yawned. "It'll be alright. I thought that we were going back to sleep."

"Yeah, sorry," Sirius said. He and Remus quieted down for a second. Without warning, a foul stench permeated through the air.

"Oh, come on!" James coughed and gagged.

"Sorry," a little voice came from the other bed.

"Peter! That's just foul," Sirius retched as he began to fan the air and cover his mouth.

"I told you not to eat the chili," Remus groaned as he held his stomach.

"But it was so good," Peter whined from the other bed. "And anyways, I did not go for a feelsie."

"Did so," Sirius challenged.

"Crack the damn window," the mirror begged. Peter jumped up and threw the windows open wide, the other three boys stood at the window gulping the fresh air.

"Ok, so I'm more than wide awake now," James said leaning weakly against the window frame. "Nothing like Peter to completely wake a person up."

"You'd better not try something like that with Alice and Lily about," Sirius warned as he shook his head. "They'll kick you out quicker than you can say 'Your momma is a Quidditch Whore'."

"Right, got it," Peter said nodding. Remus wiped the tears from his eyes, still gagging a bit.

"Thank god I don't have to share a room with him," James muttered as he and Remus left Sirius' room to get ready for the day.

At seven that morning, promptly, the four boys headed into Gringott's to the Potter family vault. The goblin that attended with them eyed the boys suspiciously but made no remark as they headed to the large vault deep within the hidden bowels of the wizarding bank. James gasped at the sight of the money and treasures piled up in the Potter vault.

"Look… wee James' baby shoes, cast in Gold," Sirius taunted. James laughed.

"My son's shoes will join mine one day," James said proudly as he and the others headed into the large vault.

"Already of thinking about starting a family then?" Remus asked curiously. "Isn't that a bit premature?"

"Shouldn't you at least ask Lily if she'll marry you first? I mean I doubt she'll want to have a child out of wedlock with you," Sirius said. James shrugged.

"I think she'll say yes," James said.

"And a son? Maybe you'll have one of those girl kinds first," Sirius said.

"A daughter?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, one of the girly girls with lace and bows," Sirius said as he did a little twirl, as if her were a ballerina. "She'd want to do your hair and play dolls."

"Harry will be a boy," James said simply as he dug through a bunch of velvet lined boxes. Opening and closing them, discarding each one quickly to the side.

"Whoa, unborn, un-conceived baby Potter has a name?" Sirius taunted.

"Yeah, well," James blushed as he scratched the back of his head. "I thought we'd name him after Lily's dad. I mean unless she wants not to, you know?"

"You're worse than a girl," Sirius teased as he smiled. James knew he was getting a head of himself. He needed to find this ring, first, to get the ball rolling. He opened a box.

"A-hah!" James cheered holding the box in his hand. Inside was a Goblin made ring with a large stone in the center of smaller stones.

"Wow, that is some spectacular ring," Remus and Sirius both admitted.

"My Great Granny Sophie told me that it belonged to Annabelle Gryffindor herself, the engagement ring Godric Gryffindor gave her," James said as he snapped the box close. "At least, that's the story."

"Wow," Peter said in quiet awe. "It must be worth a fortune."

"Probably," James said shrugging. A stupid grin was smeared across his face. "Lily's worth it, though. I love her."

"That's terribly sweet," Sirius said grinning at James.

"Shouldn't you have written her at some point over the last month?" Peter asked casually as he picked up a thick red garnet set in a gaudy yellow gold setting.

"She knows how I feel about her," James said as he made a face, frowning. "You really think I should have owled her a few times since we've been apart?"

"What does Peter know?" Sirius said shooting a look at Peter and getting rude hand gesture in return. "You haven't even kissed a girl before aside from your mother, and I wouldn't even kiss her."

"That'd be a first," Peter said smartly as he crossed his arms. "From what I understand, you've kissed more than just girls in our sixth year."

"What are you implying?" Sirius asked crossly.

"I'm just saying you should be careful who you walk under the mistletoe," Peter said backing down. He turned and walked away from them.

"No, you were implying something," Sirius said threateningly, acting as if he was going to follow Peter out of the Potter's vault.

"Easy, Sirius," Remus said. "This is Peter, after all. You know how he runs his mouth off like that. There's nothing to what he said."

"I thought that no one saw that," hissed James angrily.

"Wait, what? There's truth to it?" Remus said as his hands dropped from where he was restraining Sirius. James and Sirius both looked away, ashamed.

"If you have collected what you have come for, it is time to leave," the Goblin said with a look of cruel malice on his face.

James and Sirius sulked out of the vault, followed by a very curious and disgusted looking Remus. They all climbed silently into the coal cart and were whisked away to the surface and released from the uncomfortably rollercoaster ride. Shaky legged; they headed out of Gringott's and through Diagon Alley.

"Let's grab a pint," Remus suggested softly as Sirius and James couldn't quite meet each other's eyes, or his.

"Look, it was one kiss," James blurted out. "It was Christmas, sixth year. You were holed up in Hospital with the Werewolfian Flu. It was an accident."

"Yeah," Sirius said quickly.

"It wasn't like we enjoyed it, that much," James laughed. Sirius made a face.

"It was a quick peck on the lips, and anyways, it was that damn tricky mistletoe. Someone pervert cast a sticking charm on it," Sirius said. Peter snickered. "It was you, you vile little rodent!"

"Sirius, don't kill him," James yelled chasing after Sirius and Peter, only after forcing the box into Remus' hand for safe keeping. "I want to get a bit out of him too."

"Guys! Don't kill him!" Remus shouted half heartedly. "Not in public."

"I'll smite you!" Sirius shouted throwing hexes at Peter. The rodent-like boy was swift and nimble, swerving back and forth, missing the jelly-legs curse.

"Smite? Smite? You couldn't smite me if I were already smitten," Peter called back laughing. Sirius growled and finally hit Peter with a curse, sending the boy face first into the asphalt.

"I swear to God I'm going to cure you of what ails you," Sirius yelled as he rolled the boy over to his back and punched him a few time in the stomach. Satisfied, he stood. "Anything you want to add?"

"Nope," James said shaking his head. Remus counter cursed Peter and the little boy stood up sniffling. Blood poured from his nose and his lip, both injured during his kiss with the cobble stone ground.

"I…I'm sorry," Peter sniffed. Remus handed him a handkerchief to start mopping up the blood off his face. "I thought it would be funny."

"Do you know how painfully embarrassing it was to kiss James? He's like my hot younger brother," Sirius said. He laughed at James' expression, which was a mix of twisted amusement and horror. "Only trying to lightening things up a bit."

"I'll never betray you again," Peter said. "I promise. On my honor."


	35. C35: Washington vs Washington

**A/N:** Ok, so I am on a roll… Why is it easier to write when you need to be doing something else? I know the diary link(s) aren't working right now. Something is wrong on the website's end. I tested them and they work fine when I first created it (rather annoying that isn't not working now). So, read and review so I know if you are liking it (I might just stop if you aren't enjoying it any more).

**Disc.:** I own a sock monkey, this laptop, and I am making payments on the car. The rest I own naught.

**C35: ****Washington vs. Washington**

Lily had checked into the modest little hotel just outside of the Nation's capital. She had rented a car, and luckily she had better luck driving Alice and Frank versus this time last year. She didn't mention this as she drove and parked the car back at the hotel. She had already broken her own rule and magically altered the size of their hotel room so that it would comfortable accommodate the three of them and the four Marauders. She just couldn't see being crammed in the tiny hotel room together and not argue.

"Sustenance! Feed me!" Alice called eagerly as Lily dumped an arm load of the snacks on to one of the beds. Lily laughed and climbed into the unoccupied bed. She watched as Alice picked through the snacks, glancing at her watch.

"Anything good for me to eat, Alice?" Frank asked suggestively as he came out of the bathroom. Lily glanced up and laughed, covering her eyes.

"Oh, sorry Lily," Frank said covering his body. "I didn't realize that you were back."

"Um, it's ok," Lily said with her cheek aflame and her hand still over her eyes. Alice laughed.

"Like you've not see this before," Alice teased.

"It was Sirius' and still, it is different," Lily said shaking her head hard.

"I'm decent," Frank promised. Lily glanced up to see a fairly decently dressed in sweats and a tee shirt. Lily grinned.

"I think you've just got to add Remus and Peter to your voyeurism and then you've seen all the Gryffindor boys in our year," Alice said.

"No, actually just Peter, but I'd rather not," Lily said making her face.

"You saw Remus?" Alice asked as she pushed Frank away.

"Accidentally walked in on him," Lily said grinning. She glanced at her watch, again.

"Are you expecting someone?" Frank asked raising an eyebrow.

"It's July first," Lily said absent mindedly. "James should be here today."

"He'll be here," Alice promised. Alice gave Lily a look and nodded toward the door suggestively, though slightly. "So, you said that you were going for a walk around the capital for a bit."

"I get it, I get it," Lily said climbing up off the bed. "I'll go for a walk, newlyweds."

"You'll be here with us soon enough yet," Alice taunted as Lily shut the door behind. Lily shook her head and drove the rental car to the tourist part of town. Lily found herself walking around the various monuments, taking pictures.

"God, this is boring alone," a man murmured as Lily stood taking a picture of the Washington Monument. Lily glanced over at him and smiled.

"You're alone?" Lily asked quietly.

"Ah, a foreigner?" He asked. He outstretched his hand, his blue eyes bright and his thick waves of brown hair glinting with flecks of golden strands. "I'm Gable Aubrey, from West Virginia. Where are you from?"

"I'm Lily," she said as she shook his hand. "I'm Surrey, England."

"Welcome to America," he said grinning as he spread his arms to gesture the world. "So you're here all alone?"

"Oh, no," Lily laughed. "There are seven of us."

"Couldn't talk them into walking blisters in your feet?" Gable asked. Lily shook her head.

"Two of them are newlyweds, so they are preoccupied," Lily said chuckling slightly. The man laughed, nodding. "And the other four are supposed to meet us today. I kind of wished they'd hurry up because I don't want to look at the Lincoln memorial alone or visit Arlington National Cemetery alone. James knows I hate to look alone."

"A boyfriend?" Gable asked. Lily nodded.

"Yeah, my boyfriend James is supposed to be in that group," Lily said. "He's supposed to meet me here in Washington. Flying into Atlanta."

"Why Atlanta? Why not New York?" Gable asked. Lily shrugged.

"I never understood that. Alice, Frank, and I flew in to New York," Lily said shrugging. "He and his friends always have to be different."

"While you wait, do you want to grab some lunch?" Gabe asked suddenly. Lily looked at him, surprised.

"No, I don't think so, thanks for the offer though," Lily said shaking her head. "It's more like dinner for me and anyways, I am sure that Alice and Frank would worry for me"

"Should you change your mind," Gable said writing a number on a slip of paper. "I'm staying at this number."

Lily put it in her pocket without even looking at it. She waved good-bye to the stranger and headed back to her car. She glanced at her watch and headed back to the rental car. She wondered if James and the others had made it to the hotel room yet. She had been missing him terribly, and while not getting a single note from him had bothered her, she refused to dwell on it. Lily got into the driver's seat, starting to drive back toward the hotel. Suddenly, she felt ill and pulled off of the road just in time. Lily threw open the door enough to stick her head out and vomit all over the asphalt.

James held the itinerary in one hand and a map in another. This was his third attempt to get directions. The Marauders had flown into Atlanta without a problem, caught their connecting flight to Washington, and successfully rented a car that Remus was currently piloting. They were having a hard time understanding the locals at the petrol stations, though, and had been driving around for hours.

"Son, this_ is_ Washington… this whole place," the clerk behind the counter said waving his hand in front of him. James glanced around. It didn't look like Washington at all; it looked like a petrol station.

"We're looking for the monument," James said. The guy raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at the mountain in the distance.

"That's the most famous place here in Washington," the clerk said. "It hasn't erupted in over a hundred years, though, so if you're coming hoping that it will you're in for a sad trip for nothing. It probably won't ever erupt again."

"Um, ok," James said slightly confused. "How do you get there?"

"I wouldn't, but only because I have no desire to go there, but you? To get there, you're going to take a left out of here and head up to the state road five. The visitor center is right there, you can't miss it," the clerk said. James looked at where the guy was pointing at on the map.

"These cars take gallons of gas," Remus murmured as he came in. "I wonder how gallons relate to liters."

"About four to one, give or take," the clerk said as he rang up Remus' gas purchase. "That'll be six dollars and thirty two cents."

"Hm," Remus said as he looked at the money that they had converted to pounds in London then into dollars when they had reached the States. He handed the clerk seven dollars and received his change.

"So what are you boys doing so far from home?" The clerk ask curiously.

"My girl friend planned this tour thing for us," James said. He leaned toward the clerk. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"I could think of better places than the mountain," the clerk muttered as they left.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stood at the base of the inactive volcano, rather bored. The glanced at each other skeptically. Remus routed around in his bag and pulled out the site-seeing book Lily had given him. He flipped to the picture of the monument she had really wanted to see.

"It looks different," Sirius murmured.

"It is different," Remus said frowning as he glanced at the picture of the tall, pointing monument. He stopped a man who was standing around with his family. "Excuse me sir, where would this be? Is it behind the mountain, on the other side?"

"Golly son! You're on the wrong end o'der world! Shelia! Shelia! These boys are lost!" the man called to a woman who was trying to wrangle three boys back into their overalls.

"G'damn, Jefferson," Shelia hollered. "Whatchin' you want me to der about it?"

"Boys, you're on the wrong coast. How'n the hell did you four manage a'get all the way out 'ere?" Jefferson asked.

"We flew into Atlanta," James said.

"Alanner? Been der once, right next to our good ol' home state of Allerbamer," Jefferson said. "Come cop a squat with us for vittles an' we'll point you to the innerstate."

"I don't think we should," Remus said shaking his head. James looked at Sirius befuddled and shrugged, not certain the man was even speaking English. "We've got to get an idea of where we're really supposed to be."

"Come on," Sirius begged. "Free food."

So the four joined the others for a meal made right there in their RV, so lovingly called Betsy. The kids were silent, watching the four foreign boys eat and talk, fascinated with their accents and such. James stepped out to use the payphone, ducking under its modest covering from rain that had decided to start up, dialing with much difficulty the hotel's telephone number. A man answered the phone.

"Holiday Inn," he said in a too chipper to be real voice.

"Um, yes," James said. "I'm calling about the party in room 308. I was wondering if I could ring the room please."

"Just one second, please remain on the line," the chipper clerk said. The phone was silent a moment before the man came back. "I'm sorry sir. It seems that they aren't answering. Would you like to leave a message?"

"Yes, please let them know that the Marauders, that's spelled M-A-R-A-U-D-E-R-S, the Marauders ended up getting lost and we will be there soon," James said. The man read the message back to James.

"Any return number?" The clerk asked.

"No, we're just trying to get oriented with where we are," James said.

"Ok, well I'll leave the message for them," the clerk said.

"Please make sure that they get it," James pleaded. He heard the sound of a piece of paper rip.

"I am putting it in their box right now," the clerk said as a new guest walked up, his hand still placing the message in the slot. "If there is nothing more?"

"No, thank you sir," James said.

"Thank you for calling Holiday Inn," the clerk said and hung up the phone.

"James, we've got a problem," Remus said as he pulled out the itinerary and the book, trying in vain to protect it from the rain. "Jefferson in there says we're really off from where we want to be."

"Is that so?" James asked crossly. "You can understand him?"

"Son, this is a monument in Washington, as in Washington State. You want to be at the Washington Monument in Washington D.C.," Jefferson said scratching his head slightly. He pulled his fingers free of his balding scalp, glancing at them before flicking the little white flakes that clung under his dirty nails. "Damn scalp condition."

It was all it took for Remus and James to continue looking at the man. Inside they were disgusted, and James lost his appetite. James told Remus that he left a message for the girls and Frank. Within thirty minutes, the four were heading away from the stupid mountain that was obviously not where they were supposed to be. They stopped at the same petrol station from before, this time Remus and James went in with the sightseeing book and Lily's perfectly scrolled itinerary.

"Back so soon? Did she say no?" The clerk asked.

"We think we are in the wrong place," James said quickly as Remus spread the book out on the counter and placed the itinerary next to it.

"Where is this?" Remus asked quickly. The clerk looked at them and then the book.

"It is on the other side of the country, son," the clerk said. "That is our nation's capital."

"She should have said something to that effect," James grumbled. The clerk pointed at Lily's neat itinerary.

"See those two letters right there, the D and the C? Those differentiate from Washington the state and Washington the Capital," the clerk said. "It stands for… actually, I don't know what it stands for but it stands for something."

"How do we get there?" James asked. "And how long does it take?"

"To drive?" The clerk asked shaking his head. "It's a little over twenty three hundred miles."

"Doesn't sound too bad," James thought aloud, his face hopeful. Remus shook his head.

"James, that's over thirty seven kilometers," Remus said. James' face fell. "And we have to do it the muggle way."

"The what way?" The clerk asked curiously.

"Oh, the American way," Remus said quickly.

"We could fly," James suggested.

"Good luck getting tickets," the clerk said. "This time of year, everyone wants to get in on that action."

"How long would it take to drive then?" Remus asked. The clerk shrugged.

"I'd say if you drive straight through, forty two hours, give or take," the clerk said. He pulled out a map of the United States of America and a scrap of paper. He carefully traced the path on the map, and wrote verbal directions.

"How much for the map?" Remus asked. The clerk shook his head.

"Boys, it's on the house," the clerk said. "I hope you get to where you're going."

"We have until the Forth, and then Lily's gone," James said. Remus nodded as he took the map and book.

"Thanks, sir," Remus said and the two joined Sirius and Peter in the car.

"So, where is the monument thing?" Sirius asked. James sat in the passenger seat.

"On the other side of the country," Remus said as he started the car. "Seems like we are going to have ourselves a little road trip."

"I knew we should have let Lily arrange our tickets for us," Peter grumbled from the back seat. "Can't we just apparate there?"

"No," James said. He shook his wand. A few pathetic sparks dribbled from its tip. "Damn thing doesn't work right."

"Let's just get started, ok? Where are we aiming for James?" Remus asked as he pulled out into traffic.

"Um, looks like Interstate 90 for like nine hundred miles," James said as he stored his wand in his pocket, completely ignoring the fact that the itinerary was gone.

Lily walked into the lobby of the hotel, not feeling really well. She walked up to the front desk where a pretty girl was standing. Lily waited patiently as the woman checked the box for room 803, Lily, Alice, and Frank's room.

"No, ma'am," the clerk said in a bubbly voice. "No messages for room Eight-oh-Three."

"Thank you," Lily said as she headed upstairs. She completely ignored Alice and Frank sleeping in each other's arms. Lily climbed into the other bed, closed her eyes, and dozed off until Alice woke her.

"We're going to go get dinner," Alice said as she looked at her friend.

"I don't feel great," Lily said quietly. "You go."

"Is it because James isn't here?" Alice asked. Lily shook her head.

"I knew he'd never make it on time," Lily said. "I must have just eaten something that didn't agree with me."

"Do you want me to just send Frank out to get something?" Alice asked concerned. Lily shook her head.

"Nah, I'll just eat your left over food when you get back," Lily said waving them off. Lily waited until they were safely clear of the room before she climbed out of bed and ran straight into the bathroom. She vomited until she felt void of food she'd had yet to even eat.

"What is wrong with me?" Lily asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes and rinsed her mouth of the acidic and foul bile from her mouth. She closed her eyes, counting in her head… "Twenty three would have two weeks ago… so… thirty seven… I am on day thirty seven of my cycle."

Realization hit her like an icy wave. She was nine days late.


	36. C36: The 'P' Word

**A/N:** Thanks to LittleDufffan for the names (and for the ideas… you'll see that one we discussed). Told you I would think about getting them in the story. The link is up and working for the diary, and the diary has been updated. It is up to July 3, 1978, and gives more details about Lily's visit to the doctor (mainly stuff that wouldn't fit here). This chapter is mighty long, so please forgive.

**Disc.:** I own less and less every day.

**C36: The 'P' Word**

"I have to get out of this car," Sirius called from the back seat. "Peter's driving is making me ill."

"I drive just fine," Peter countered as he drove.

"You're swerving all over the road," Remus mumbled from the passenger seat. James continued to snore.

"I'm just tired," Peter complained. "We've been driving for twenty five or so hours now. Don't you think we could take a break?"

"What is out gas gage on?" Remus asked.

"Half," Peter said.

"No, then. Not until we need gas," Remus mumbled as he turned back against the window. "You've personally only been driving two hours."

"Fine," Peter said as he cranked the radio up and continued down the highway. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to be in control."

"Stop muttering," Sirius yawned as he too curled up to catch a few hours of sleep. "It's interrupting my much needed beauty sleep."

"Some trip this turned out to be," Peter breathed under his breath.

Lily spent the better part of the day throwing up rather violently. So much so, Frank abandoned the girls in the hotel and went exploring on his own. Alice sat in the bathroom, a cool cloth on hand for Lily. Lily rested her head against the wall closest to the toilet. She looked miserable.

"So, you're late," Alice murmured as she handed Lily the cloth.

"Yeah," Lily breathed as she sipped some water. She patted her face with the cloth.

"So, um, do you think you're pregnant?" Alice asked hesitantly. Lily looked positively green at the 'P' word.

"God, I hope not," Lily said.

"James would marry you," Alice said. Lily made a face.

"I don't want to be the reason that James marries me," Lily groaned.

"Come on you know that wouldn't be the only reason," Alice said as Lily gagged and threw up again. "Surely by now you should be empty."

"You're telling me," Lily moaned as she flushed the toilet.

"You know what would be funny?" Alice asked. "If you were having twins, and they were girls. That would be funny. Imagine, James being a father to two little girls? You could call them Hannah Marie and Cristina Anne. I love those names."

"Imagine James being a father at all," Lily moaned.

"Maybe that is why you are so sick," Alice said thoughtfully.

"James being a father?" Lily asked.

"No, maybe because it is twins," Alice said. "I remember reading in Witches Healthy that pregnancy symptoms increase with each baby."

"Oh…" Lily moaned again. "I feel terrible."

"Awe, honey, it's not that bad," Alice said. Lily shot her a look. "Ok, so maybe it is. Do you want to just go home?"

"Home?" Lily murmured. "I am unmarried and probably knocked up with an evil little witch or wizard, the way I am ill. I am sure that my sister will welcome me into her home with open arms."

"Right," Alice said. "Sarcasm: the sign that you've met the end of your rope."

"I want to complete this trip," Lily said shaking her head. "I don't want James to know, if he ever shows up. I don't know what I am going to do about this problem."

"You wouldn't get rid of it, would you?" Alice asked horrified. Lily hesitated.

"I don't know if I am even pregnant," Lily said. Lily thought about it for a moment. "I want to say no that I wouldn't, but to be honest thinking about raising a child scares me half to death."

"Didn't you use protection?" Alice asked. Lily nodded.

"I've been on the pill for some time now," Lily said. Alice looked at with her head cocked to the side.

"The… pill? I've never heard of that charm," Alice said.

"Charm? It's not a charm. It's muggle birth control. It comes in pill form," Lily said as she dabbed at her face with the wash cloth.

"Honey, you're not a muggle, you're a witch," Alice said. "I doubt that muggle birth control is going to have been much use to you, since you were having relations with a wizard."

"Super," Lily groaned. "I've been preaching safe sex and the whole time I've been contradicting myself."

"It's a bit late, but I can give you my book on contraceptive charms when at the end of this trip," Alice said quietly. She thought a moment. "You know, if you want, you and I can ditch the boys for a few days and head down to the beach to just relax."

"There will be plenty of time for the beach when we get to Sydney." Lily asked quietly after a moment of thought, "Do you think that they'll ever come?"

"I'm sure that they will, but it's probably going to be harder for them. James and Sirius, especially, since they are pure bloods and they're lost without their wands," Alice said. "How did you manage to deactivate the wands?"

"Just a simple date charm," Lily murmured. "It rendered the wands of all who agreed to come on the trip useless from June 30 until August 25. I mean, there are exceptions, such as danger to one of us, and then all of our wands will work." Alice shook her wand, pathetic sparks falling from the end of it.

"Well, it seems like everyone is quite safe wherever they are," Alice said. Lily laughed and struggled to her feet.

"I think I will go get a check up," Lily said. Alice joined her.

"You know where their medical facility is?" Alice asked. Lily shook her head.

"No, I'm just going to get checked out by one of their muggle doctors," Lily said. "To get it confirmed or denied officially."

"Can I come?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"Yes, but I don't want Frank to know what we're going to go do," Lily warned. "Just until I figure these things out, ok?"

"Ok," Alice promised.

James was sitting at the counter of some dive, pushing his food around his plate. For the moment, he was by himself. He was really annoyed, though he knew Peter hadn't meant to do it. Still, he couldn't imagine how the boy had driven for eight hours in the wrong direction. In addition, James was angry at himself and the others for not realizing it sooner.

"Eight effing hours," Sirius said joining him, sitting down at the counter with him. James pushed his plate towards the other boy.

"She's never going to forgive me," James said. "I promised her that I would be there for the Fourth of July celebration. It was so important for her."

"She'll understand," Sirius promised. "She kind of expects you to have screwed up, so it's not unexpected."

"Great way to make me feel better," James grumbled. "My girlfriend expects me to screw up."

"I'm supposed to be making you feel better?" Sirius joked. James shot him a look. "Alright, James. Why don't you tell big brother what's really bothering you, and don't tell me it's the whole _'I screwed up again'_ thing, because I know that's a load of unicorn dung."

"What if… what if she says no to me when I ask her?" James asked as he looked at Sirius helplessly.

"Well take her out back and beat her until she says yes," Sirius said solemnly. James made a face.

"You're not being serious," James said. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"If she says no, then you will back away, lick your wounds, and just try to be patient," Sirius said. He pushed James' nearly empty plate back at him. "But I don't think you have anything to worry about. You haven't been dating her very long, but she's totally in love with you. Oh, and she looked a little chunky at Alice's wedding, but you know five or ten pounds won't make you love her any less."

"She was not chunky," James defended. Sirius nodded.

"It wasn't that noticeable, certainly, but it was there," Sirius said shrugging. "It suited her. She's too thin."

"She's not too thin," James said. "First you say she is chunky, than she is too thin. You are so overly critical, and wrong! She's perfect."

"Oklahoma! We're in freaking Oklahoma," Remus said as he walked in the door. Remus walked up to them and took the seat to the right of James. He pulled James' plate in front of him. "How in the world did he manage to get us in the north eastern part of Oklahoma without us even noticing?"

"Where is that rat now?" Sirius growled.

"Crying in the bath room like a girl," Remus said in disgust.

"It was an honest mistake," James said quietly as he shook his head. "It could have happened to any of us. We don't always pay attention."

"We should be in Illinois by now," Sirius said as he looked at the map. He glanced out the window. "We shouldn't stay here much longer."

"Welcome to Denny's, boys. What can I get you," the waitress said in a sweet voice.

"Or, we could wait a few minutes," Sirius said grinning as he sat back down. Sirius started to chat up the woman. James had already ordered from her, so he chose to ignore the wizard chatting to the waitress.

"When do you think we should try to pull our little group together and go?" Remus asked. James glanced over to where Sirius had been sitting to find the boy gone.

"Give Sirius about ten minutes or so," James said smirking. "He's had himself a bit of a dry spell, but it looks like the days of celibate Sirius is over."

"James?" Peter said timidly as he sat down quietly next to James. "I am SO sorry that I made a mistake. I know how important it is to get to Lily."

"It's ok," James said. Peter forced a teary smile and reached for a napkin from the dispenser to wipe his eyes and blow his nose, knocking James' cola over the map and the itinerary.

"I am SO sorry!" Peter cried out as the three of them jumped away from the spreading caramel colored drink. James watched in horror as the ink ran heavily on the itinerary.

"NO!" James shouted loudly. He turned and looked at Peter. "I can't BELIEVE you did this!"

"It was an accident!" Peter squeaked. People throughout the restaurant were staring.

"If we don't make it to Washington D.C. in time, we have to move on to the next place! Without the itinerary, we're lost! Now we don't know where Lily will be!"

"Calm down, James," Remus coaxed as the boy gripped his wand, Remus' hand on James' shoulder. James looked at his friend and nodded.

"I'm going to be in the car, waiting," James said stiffly. "I am leaving in ten minutes, whether everyone is in the car or not."

Lily sat with Alice in the tiny exam room of a nearby doctor that the hotel had helped Lily find. They had even gone out of their way to help Lily procure an appointment. Alice looked around nervously, not accustom to muggle medical practices. Peeing in a cup made no sense to Alice, nor did Lily sitting around in a paper gown the size of a napkin. Lily was trembling, but thankfully had stopped throwing up.

"This doesn't even cover me," Lily groaned.

"Um, don't take this the wrong way, but have you gained some weight? The only reason I ask is that you're all marked up from your pants," Alice added quickly.

"I noticed that they were a bit snug," Lily said shrugging. "I thought that it was all the fattening things Petunia makes for Vernon. I haven't exactly been eating Hogwarts' Healthy, you know?"

"I bet it's the baby," Alice cooed as she reached to pat Lily's midsection. Lily slapped her hand.

"Hands off," Lily said. "If I'm not, then you're going to feel mighty perverted for touching me."

"Alright," Alice said as she withdrew her hand as the nurse walked it.

"Hello ladies," the nurse said. "Dr. Wells has asked me to take some blood from you, Ms. Evans and then he'll be in for your examination."

Alice looked green at the sight of the blood-drawing process and quickly took a seat before she could pass out. She watched as the nurse left and the physician came in to do his exam. Alice looked horrified by the processes that muggle doctors used to examine a patient, all of the poking and prodding seemed downright indecent! Lily glanced at Alice, their faces flushed slightly.

"This is normal for an exam of this type," Lily assured Alice. "I had one done when I was getting my birth control pills."

"Well, Ms. Evans," the doctor said as he let Lily sit up on the table. "I am quite certain, but I'd like to do an ultrasound of your belly. It won't hurt, and we'll get to sneak a peek inside. If you don't mind waiting a bit, we can do it today."

"Sure doctor," Lily said nodding. Dr. Wells left and Lily turned to Alice.

"I am never going to see a muggle doctor," Alice told her. "I don't think Frank has even manhandled me as much as that doctor."

"I'd imagine not," Lily said smirking. "It's how they do things. They don't have magic wand they can use, just their knowledge and their hands."

"Still," Alice said. "You'd think they'd use a less cute doctor to manhandle your goodies."

James' jaw was clenched nearly as tight as his hands, the steering wheel gripped in his hand as he drove. Well, he wasn't driving actually at the moment. He was sitting on the side of the road, the engine off, while the Missouri State Trooper wrote him a ticket for excessive speeding. Not just speeding, because that would have been quite enough, but excessive speeding. James couldn't even look at Peter, for certain that if he did Peter would burst into flames from the angry lasers that James would probably shoot out of his eyes.

"Son, now I want you boys to take it slower out there," the trooper said. "With tomorrow being the Fourth and all, I'd hate to see a group of you youngster spread all over the asphalt like shit on a field. Do you hear me, boy?"

"Yes, sir," James managed as he took the ticket in his hand. He was ready to murder Peter, if only he had his wand. As it was, he didn't know if he'd make it in time to meet up with Lily, Alice, and Frank. If they weren't there by the fourth, they'd have to continue on to the next location. Granted Peter ruined their itinerary, so he wasn't exactly sure where the next location was, but he couldn't focus on that. He needed to focus on the road.

"James, really, I am so sorry," Peter said from the back seat.

"Keep talking Pettigrew, and I'll stick you in the trunk," James growled as he headed down the interstate. The map, while completely soaked, was still quite useful to them and James decided to take as straight of a shot as possible. He'd drive through Missouri, into Kentucky; nip the bottom half of West Virginia, and through the upper half of Virginia. Maybe, if luck was on his side, he'd make it there by early evening on the Fourth. Maybe Lily wouldn't have left.

"Do you want me to drive?" Sirius asked as he watched his best friend with great concerned. James looked exhausted, having driven for six hours. James shook his head slightly. He was focused on the road, ignoring everything else but the road.

"SHIT!" James shouted as the car's tire exploded from under the car. James fought to control the two ton chunk of metal and glass as it headed straight for the ditch. James tried to jerk the wheel to keep the car from colliding with the ditch, but the only thing that stopped them was the hard packed earth of the Kentucky soil. The airbags failed to go off.

It seemed like James was waking from the worst headache ever, as he pulled himself back from the steering wheel. Sirius was just as groggy feeling, not certain how long they had been there, resting against the dashboard. James slowly glanced back at Remus and Peter, thankful they were fairly unharmed.

"Shit, I don't think we're going to get our deposit back on the car," Sirius joked as they piled out of the car slowly. The tire was torn to shreds, the rim bent. James sunk to the ground, head in his hands.

"I've failed her," James murmured into his hands. "I am a big failure! Why should she marry someone like me? I can't even tell the difference between Washington and Washington D.C. nor could I keep one simple promise to her."

"Cheer up, buddy," Sirius said as he slung his arm over James' shoulders. "There is always light at the end of the tunnel, you know?"

"Really, because I'm not seeing it, Sirius," James said with annoyance dripping from his words. "With my luck, the light at the end of the tunnel is just a train, coming full speed down the tracks that I am standing on."

"You boys need 'elp?" A man called from the passenger window of his tow truck. Sirius slapped James hard on the shoulder.

"We sure do, sir," Sirius said cheerfully. "We managed to get our car stuck in the ditch."

"Well, I can see that," The man said laughing as he opened the door. He whistled long and low. "You've got a blown out tire too. Are you boys ok?"

"Just a bit knocked around," James admitted slowly.

"Where you boys headed?" He asked as he signaled for his driver to pull the tow truck around.

"Washington D.C. for the Fourth of July," Remus offered.

"You aren't from around 'ere, I'd reckon," the man said. He spat on the ground a bit of the chewing tobacco he had wadded in his mouth. "Not with those fancy accents."

"No sir," they all replied in unison, well all except for Peter who seemed to be timidly hiding on the other side of the car. The man pointed at Peter.

"Is 'e stupid or something?" The man asked. James nodded.

"He sure is," James said. "He's the one who got us lost."

"Well, you're not lost, son," The man said as he began to hook the chains to the back of the car. "You're in the eastern most part of Kentucky. Lucky you didn't have this problem ten miles down the way. You'd be in Virginia and they'd 'ave left you here to rot."

The car made a squishy squelching noise at it was plucked from the ditch. Apparently it wasn't hard packed soil but thick, sticky Kentucky mud the boys parked their car into accidentally. Twenty minutes and a spare tire later, the boys were back on the road and on their way. Sirius was at the wheel, James passed out in the passenger seat after making sure that Sirius was, indeed heading in the right direction. Sirius drove straight into Washington D.C. just after dawn. Yawning, he stretched and gently touched James' shoulder.

"We're here," Sirius said. "And it's still the Fourth."

"Stop screwing with me," James grumbled as he jerked away, still asleep. Sirius jostled James a bit harder.

"I'm serious, and we made great time," Sirius said. "You can still spend the entire day with her."

"Really?" James yawned despite himself. He stretched and looked around. Sure enough, they were in Washington D.C. and no longer on their way there. His hopes soared. He might still save himself.

"In one of those rooms up there is your Lily, waiting," Sirius taunted as he pointed at the hotel that stood before them. "Let's sneak in and surprise them."

"That won't work," Remus reminded. "We need a key."

"Right," Sirius said frowning, realizing that Remus was right. The four went up to the check in desk where a man was standing there. He smiled in a falsely large way and welcomed them.

"We're here for room 308," James said tiredly.

"Three oh eight, you say?" The clerk asks as he begins typing fiercely on the computer, making frowning faces. "The guest in 308 have already checked out and left."

"Where did they go?" James demanded. The clerk made a face.

"It is not our policy to inquire where our guests go after they leave here," The clerk said. He was no longer cheerful or bright.

"I thought we'd have more time before they moved on," James said as he forced his hand through his hair.

"Can we buy a room for the night?" Remus asked quickly as he pulled out the cash.

"It just so happens that we have just one room available. The reservations were cancelled on it just twenty minutes ago," The clerk said.

"We'll take it," Remus said as Sirius led James away from desk. The clerk handed him the key and the four boys carried their luggage to the elevator. Peter hesitantly pushed the button, the door sliding open. Climbing aboard the elevator, Remus pressed the button for the floor.

"Here we are," Remus said loudly as he found the hotel room door. He slid his key in the lock and swung the door open wide, it bouncing loudly against the wall. "Room eight oh four. We'll catch a few hours of sleep then we'll go look for them at the monuments."


	37. C37: Noisy Neighbors

**A/N:** So this is actually my second version of this chapter (writing it in the car all in a couple of hours). The original or first version will be included at the end in the 'blooper' chapter. It was good enough, yes, but I just thought that everything progressed too quickly right there at the end, and I needed to add a little more humor to this chapter. Ah, well, I failed at adding humor, but oh well… if nothing else, it certainly is much more suspenseful. _**Read and Review!**_

**Disc.:** I humbly own nothing, aside from the plot and a slight annoyance at my kids (who are sitting in the back seat of my car, kicking my seat and making me want to threaten to turn this car around RIGHT NOW, despite not being the driver).

**C37: Noisy Neighbors**

Lily yawned, her eyes opening slightly to the light that crept between the curtains in a small but powerful beam, crossing her face. She had been dreaming, though she couldn't recall what the dream had been about. She struggled to remember what had wakened her. She had heard a voice, and for a moment she could have sworn that she had heard James' voice clear as a bell. She strained to listen but all she could hear was the noise and rowdy behaviors of the neighbors in room eight oh four. Sighing, she rolled over to her left, certain that it would be better, since the book said that the left side fed the uterus with a better blood flow which was better for her babies.

She rested there, thinking about the babies. She had only just found out that she was carrying James' twins, but she was in love with them. She couldn't imagine life as a mom, but she knew that she would give up her own life to save them. They were that important to her. She loved them. She didn't know if they were boys or girls, or both, but now that she knew they were growing inside her, she couldn't imagine them not being there.

"Are you awake?" Alice asked as the mirror over the dresser rattle, the inhabitants in eight-oh-four obviously mistakenly thinking that they could walk through the wall.

"How can I not be?" Lily retorted quietly. A few more loud thumps and some loud laughter echoed through the wall.

"Annoying buggers," Frank grumbled as he reached down from the bed to the floor, picking up one of his shoes and throwing it hard at the wall, missing the mirror by inches. It thudded loudly, shaking the mirror and for a second, the noise on the other side of the wall stopped. The three breathed a sigh of relief before someone began pounding their fists on the wall. Frank groaned. "It figures."

Lily stood up, searching around on the floor for her jeans. She slid them on over her panties, trying to fastening them. She tried to squeeze them closed, but she needed like another two inches of pants, and these were her 'fat pants' and had always been way too big, even when everything else was even a slightly bit snug. Sighing, she yanked them off and dug around in her duffle bag, pulling out her favorite little sundress. Tee shirt forgotten on the bed, she pulled the dress on to find it, too was growing a bit too snug around the midsection. It would have to do for the moment.

"I need to get some clothes," Lily murmured.

"Are we packing up and heading to the airport for Australia?" Frank asked as he pushed himself up on one arm, his arm draped across Alice.

"I want to give the boys some more time," Lily said shaking her head. "I was thinking… I'll stay here a few more days, and you two can continue on to the hotel in Sydney."

"Would you want us to stay with you? I don't really want to leave you by yourself," Alice said quietly while glaring at the wall between their room and the loud room next door.

"I'm fine by myself," Lily said. She grinned at them. "Plus, wouldn't you two like a few days by yourselves?"

"It would be nice," Alice did say, smiling. She snuggled deeper under Frank's arm.

"I'm going to go shopping," Lily said as she sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on her shoes. "This dress barely fits me, and I don't think I'm going to get any smaller."

"No, probably not," Frank murmured. Lily looked at Alice.

"You told him?" Lily asked. Alice shrugged.

"He's my husband," Alice countered. "I couldn't help but tell him. I'm sorry, Lily."

"Don't worry," Frank said. "I am not about to be the one who tells James that you're knocked up. I don't fancy getting hit."

"Do you think he is really going to take it that badly?" Lily asked nervously. Alice slapped him lightly on the arm.

"Don't scare her," Alice said shaking her head.

"He'll be fine about it," Frank said quickly. Lily looked at him skeptically.

"For nine weeks along with twins, I feel like I am already as big as a house. You can tell, can't you?" Lily said as she grabbed her purse.

"Yeah, you can tell, but it suits you," Frank said. "You look incredibly beautiful."

"Awe, isn't he so sweet?" Alice cooed as she kissed her husband. Lily giggled.

"I'll see you two in Sydney by Thursday. Fly safe and please call me when you get in," Lily said brightly.

"I hope the boys don't disappoint you," Alice said. Lily shrugged and picked up her wand, making a motion with it. The sparks fizzled and dribbled from her wand.

"Where ever they are, at least they are safe," Lily murmured. The thumping and banging continued next door. Lily pounded on the wall.

"Shut up over there!" She hollered.

"You shut up," a muffled voice shouted back as they pounded back.

"Pregnant woman trying to sleep!" Lily shouted as she kicked the wall.

"Trying keeping your legs shut," the person shouted back. Lily looked out raged and marched over to the phone on the side table. She pressed the zero for the operator. The clerked picked up the phone.

"Yes, this is room eight oh three, there seems to be some strange things going on in eight oh four next door," Lily said. "They are being incredibly loud and destructive."

"Well send someone up," the clerk promised.

"Thanks," Lily said quietly as she hung up the phone. She picked up her purse and keys. "If for some reason the boys show up in Australia, just call me please."

"Of course we will," Frank promised.

"Fly safely," Lily said. Alice waved her off as she rolled into Frank's arms for a little married coupling.

Lily stood at the elevator, waiting for the lift. She glanced at the two doors, wondering which one would open first. The one to the left opened and Lily stepped on the elevator, pressing the ground floor. The doors slid closed on the left one as the door slid open on the right one. James stepped off of the elevator, a bag of food in his hand. The two missed each other by seconds.

James opened the door to his hotel room to see Sirius wailing into Peter again with a pillow. Occasionally, Peter would break free and run straight into the wall. James laughed as he pulled some food from the bag, sitting on the edge of the bed Remus was still sleeping in. James grabbed Remus' ankle and jiggled the other boy awake.

"Remus, wake up," James said. "I brought food."

"Between Sirius fighting with Peter and our noisy neighbors next door, I've barely gotten any sleep," Remus said.

"I should be the one who's most tired," Sirius said pouncing on the bed next to Remus. He pulled out one of the wrapped breakfast sandwiches, eating it in three bites. "I feel energized."

"Good," James said. "We have to hit all of the monuments to see if we can find the others. I can't believe that they left us."

"It makes perfect sense," Remus said as he pulled himself up out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He left the door open, a typical move of boys, and continued to talk. "To be honest, we don't exact instill confidences in the others. We're never on time for anything. So, it makes sense that Lily would insist that we arrive on time, give us three days of a grace period, and then leave us behind."

"So, where to next?" James asked as he pulled out his wand and the ruined itinerary. He touched the itinerary with his wand, sparks barely emitting from the end, dribbling down the sheet, and fading out in the air.

"I thought about that," Remus said as he flushed and washed his hands. He poked his head out the bathroom door. "The book Lily gave me has places marked and noted in it. I think the next place they are going is Sydney, Australia. Actually, I'm certain of it. So, if we don't find them now, we will drive up to New York and catch a flight."

"You figured that all out on your own?" Peter asked as he cowered in the corner, worried that Sirius would resume beating him with a pillow.

"Not everyone is simple minded like you," Sirius said as he threw the pillow at Peter, missing and knocking a lamp into the wall. The people on the other side pounded back. "They have been pounding on that wall all morning."

"Could it be a result of you two playing around?" James asked smirking. Sirius grinned and shrugged.

"Who'd come to a hotel to sleep anyway?" Sirius asked shaking his head.

A knock came to the door, causing the four to turn and look at the door. James stood and headed to the door, not knowing who was going to be at the door. He glanced back at the others, Sirius jumping up and righting the lamp. James unlocked the door, the chain dangling, and opened the door.

"Management might not tell you but you really must shut the hell…" Alice started angry as could be. She stared at James standing there, fully dressed, while the others stood around behind him in various states of undress.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" James asked slowly. Alice screamed loudly, causing James to jump, and she threw her arms around James tightly. Her scream brought Frank running, dressed in only his boxers and holding an umbrella in his hand, as well as a few other people who were still in their rooms on the eighth floor.

"Where have you been?" Alice asked as she finally released him. She pushed into the room, with Frank directly behind her.

"Oh, my god," James said shaking his head. "We ended up in Washington State. Did you know that there's a place called Washington State?"

"No, really? How weird!" Alice said as she sat down on the bed, retrieving one of the breakfast sandwiches.

"I know!" James said.

"Then Peter drove eight hours south instead of eight hours east," Sirius offered. Peter glowered at him.

"Then James got a speeding ticket!" Peter tattled.

"And got a flat that ditched the car," Remus said.

"I can't believe that all of happened," Alice said.

"Why would we lie?" Peter asked. Alice shook her head.

"That's not what she meant, Peter," Frank said quickly. "She meant it as a shock that you all went through so much and still managed to make it here by the Fourth of July. Alice and I were just about to head to New York to catch a flight to Australia."

"I told you Australia," Remus cheered.

"Lily was going to stay behind a few days in hope of you guys showing up," Alice said. She looked at them. "Why didn't you just call and tell us you were over wherever you were?"

"We did," James said. "I've been leaving messages for room 308 for days."

"Where in the world did you get that number? We've always been in room 803," Alice said. James shook his head.

"I could have sworn Lily had told me that it was 308," James said. He laughed.

"That was all you, I fear," Frank laughed. "Lily wouldn't have made a mistake like that."

"So, where is the future Mrs. Potter?" Sirius joked. Alice looked at James in surprise.

"You're going to ask her to marry you, aren't you?" Alice asked. James just grinned, not confirming or denying.

"So where is Lily," James asked as he changed the subject. Alice glanced at Frank for a moment before focusing on James.

"Oh, er, she went shopping," Alice said quickly. "She didn't say when she'd be back because she assumed that we would be gone before she returned."

"So, we'll just hang out in the room and wait for her to return then," James said simply. "I have missed her so much. I can't wait to see her."

"Me either," Sirius said laughing. "Even if to prove to you that Lily's chunking up."

"She is NOT!" Alice and James both said loudly. Frank shot Alice a look, but said nothing, and it went unnoticed by anyone else but Alice.

"Seriously, Sirius," Frank said shaking his head. "You'd want to watch yourself around that one. She's got a mean streak in her."

"Two… mean streaks," Alice said quickly without thinking. She laughed a nervous uneven laughter. James looked at her oddly, but said nothing.

---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0---

Lily stood in the maternity department of some store in the mall, looking at the ugly tents that pregnant women were forced to wear. She shunned things that were not flattering and she practically ran to the women's department, selecting dresses and clothes that were just a size or two bigger than she wore currently. By the time she picked her clothes, she headed through the mall until she came out of a sickly wonderful store full of baby things.

She wondered what would be the best way to tell James. It wasn't every day that you tell a man that not only are you having his baby, but you are having a pair of his babies. She wanted it to be as perfect as possible, since one day she'd have to tell her children the story, and she wanted to know she had done her very best to make it memorable. She looked at the cute bibs and clothes, not really wanting to get ahead of herself. Then she saw it, a pair of matching jumpers in yellow and green. She bought them at once, and found a pair of bibs that said _'No, we are not looking in the mirror'_ on one and _'Yes, We ARE Twins!'_.

"They're perfect," Lily murmured as she paid for them. She tugged at the dress, fighting the snugness. She headed to the tiny boutique nearby, seeing maternity clothes that she could really live with. They looked like normal muggle clothes, except that they had room in them for the growing belly. Lily immediately snatched up a few in different patterns and bought them. She headed straight to the nearest restroom and stripped off her ill fitting clothes. A breath of relieve rushed over her as she put on her new maternity dress. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Even at nine weeks, I can't hide this," Lily said as she looked herself. The doctor had told her, with her already being on the small side and carrying twins, she'd look bigger faster. Whereas other women who were only nine weeks along really wouldn't have much more than a slight pooch, with twins in her belly, she was already looking a little closer to eighteen weeks.

"Even this, James' going to notice," Lily said shrugging. "I guess he can take it or leave it. I just never knew how big I got, and hell if this dress doesn't accentuate my babies."

Lily headed over to the food court, suddenly craving soft pretzels and pineapple smoothie. She knew the pineapple smoothie was full of sugar and the pretzels were covered with salt, but she didn't care. She was eating for three now, and if she wanted it she was going to eat it. She looked at her watch, thinking maybe she should head back to the hotel for a quick nap before she headed out to the greens to watch the fireworks. Alice and Frank were probably already in the cab on the way to New York.

Lily found her rental car easily and climbed into the driver seat, placing her bag on the seat. She set her purse down, and put her keys in the ignition. A tap on the window drew her attention. She glanced over to see a man standing there, his eyes glowing almost scarlet and a cruel smile curled on his face. He had a wand pointing right at her.

"Can I help you?" Lily asked through the window as her hand reached slowly for her wand. If ever she was in danger, this was probably it. She knew who he was, even if she had never met him before, his face plastered all over the front of the Daily Profit. She knew if she could get to her wand, if she could point it at him quick enough, the spell would work.

"Stupefy!" he said in a remarkably high voice. Lily felt the blast erupt from the end of his wand, the force of the spell throwing her to the side, and everything went dark. She had been stunned by Lord Voldemort himself.


	38. C38: Lily's Purgatory

**A/N:** Some of you wondered how the Daily Profit had Lord Voldemort's picture; Lily just made a quick assumption that she had seen him on there. There wasn't much time to think properly between Lily getting stunned and seeing him. She just KNEW it was him. As far as we know, they didn't know what he looked like (perhaps Lily and Dumbledore discussed it way back in the beginning of the story… since we never really got to hear a whole conversation between them). This chapter is a bit on the long side, but you all said that you didn't mind, so no complaining. Also, I am wondering how many people are still really reading this story. If you're tired of it, I can wrap it up really quickly (3 chapters quick) and we can be done with it (I hope not, but I'll do what needs to be done). Oh, and there is some disturbing stuff in this chapter. Be forewarned. _**Read and review.**_

**Disc.:** I own nothing, not even the rainstorm, but I do own the plot… none of the characters, and all of the dialogue (except the parts that suck… I won't take credit for that).

**C38: Lily's Purgatory **

Lily felt sore and groggy as she slowly pulled her eyes open and into focus. Immediately the sickly sweet smell of rancid meat filled her nostrils and she retched then vomited on the stone floor she had been laying on. She didn't know where she was, and at the moment, she couldn't focus on caring about that. Her palms and knees were tender from the way the stone bit into them roughly as she heaved so hard, she was certain to lose some of her internal organs. She could see sparkling stars before her eyes and she wondered if she was really alive, or if this was a part of death.

"What happened?" She wondered aloud as she spat the horrible taste from her mouth, onto the floor, and wiped her mouth with her hand. She climbed to her feet in the nearly dark room and carefully shuffled over to the small sink she could make out. She quietly turned the faucet, the complaint of rusty metal on metal echoing in the stone room. She hesitated before she rinsed her hands, ignoring the scrapes and scuttles of small rodents on the ground.

Using her hands along the wall, she slowly and carefully explored the room she was in, guestimating that it was some sort of cell possibly underground from the dankness in the air with a rough, wooden door. The only light came filtering through the bars of the door and illuminated the small sink. Lily tried a few quiet non-verbal spell, trying to summon her wand. She was met with silence and no wand. Either she was much too far from her wand or she was just unable to perform magic without it. She shook her head. She knew that wasn't it. Wands were tools of magic, not the magic itself.

"Hello?! Hello?! Is anybody out there?" Lily yelled through the door. She was met with silence. She started pounding on the wooden door until her hands were sore. "Hello?! Hello?! Somebody… anybody?!"

"Shut up down there will you?!" a voice yelled down the stairs. Lily could see the dumpy outline of a witch at the top of the stairs.

"Bring her to me Bella," a cold, high voice echoed through the stone walls causing Lily to shiver with the chill that shot down her spine. The dumpy witch walked down the stairs, her heavy footsteps pounding the stone stairs. Lily backed away from the door as Bella's face came into view.

"Bella Black, how nice to see you," Lily said coldly as she heard the sound of metal on metal. The door swung open, the metal creaking open.

"It's Bella LeStrange now. I married Rudolphus right after school," Bella said as she stepped forward and grabbed Lily's arm in her hand. "Seems like you're the only one of us who hasn't gotten married, though I see you have done quite a bit to make sure that any wizard you married would have to do so with shame."

"What do you want with me?" Lily asked as she tried to twist and turn out of the heavier set witch's tight grip.

"I don't, personally, but the Dark Lord does, and I do what he says," Bella said cruelly to Lily as she half-dragged Lily up the stairs. Lily didn't struggle on the stairs, fearful that she would fall and injure the babies. Lily allowed herself to be led, certain that if she was intended to die that she would be dead already. She knew the Lord Voldemort killed many more for much less.

"Well, at least you are an obedient minion," Lily said without thinking. Bella slapped her in the face.

"It is an honor to serve the Dark Lord," Bella challenged as she glared at Lily. Lily could taste the blood, but said nothing. She would have to learn to hold her tongue.

Lily could feel Bella digging her finger nails into Lily's arm, the dirty nails piercing the flesh slightly. Lily swore, no matter what, she would not cry or show weakness. Lily was brought into an overly warm chamber. The leather of the chair was nearly scalding as Bella shoved Lily into one near the fire.

"Sorry for the warmth," Lord Voldemort said though he didn't seem too apologetic at all. He nodded to Lily's feet. "Nagini is a cold blooded creature and she prefers the warmth of the fire." Lily glanced down at the large snake that was slithering by and shivered. She was not a fan of snakes.

"Should I stay, master?" Bella asked as she bowed to Lord Voldemort.

"No, but do send Severus in," Lord Voldemort. He waited until Bella left before he turned to the muggle born witch who sat before him. "Stand up and let me take a look at you, see what all the fuss is about."

Slowly, Lily stood up and felt at unease as Lord Voldemort studied her a moment. He let his gaze sweep her, focusing on her different features. He didn't say anything as she stood there a minute. Lord Voldemort let one of his rare smiles betray his face, and it nearly frightened Lily to death. It looked alien on his face, one that should never have anything remotely kind cross it.

"I can see what gets him all in an uproar," Lord Voldemort said as Severus entered with a quiet knock. Lily glanced over at Severus, a frown on her face. Severus glanced at Lily, but didn't say anything.

"You requested me, my Lord," Severus said quietly as he stood there wearing his black robes that he had favored even in school. Lord Voldemort looked at him and nodded.

"This is the girl, isn't it? The one you were telling me of?" Lord Voldemort asked. Severus nodded once.

"Yes, my Lord," Severus said. Lord Voldemort stood and began pacing the room.

"So, Ms. Evans, I have heard so much about you. It is quite interesting to see how talented you are despite your upbringing," Lord Voldemort said quietly.

"My being muggle born doesn't mean that I'm an inferior witch," Lily defended. She didn't back down, but she knew she was treading on thin ice. Still, she had to assume she still had a purpose if she was still alive and standing.

"Well, I don't know I'd go as far as all that, Ms. Evans," Lord Voldemort said casually. He watched her for a second. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Honestly, no," Lily said quickly.

"Severus tells me that despite his adoration of you, you are quite emotionally involved with James Potter. Is that true?" Lord Voldemort asked.

"Yes," Lily said.

"Did they teach you any respect at Hogwarts?" Lord Voldemort asked coolly.

"Yes, they did, and I have respect for those I find respectable, like Professor Dumbledore. Everyone else must earn my respect," Lily said boldly. Lord Voldemort laughed cruelly.

"To respect that old coot," Lord Voldemort said shaking his head. "You are here because I was promised allegiance from Mrs. Black. She promised me the use of her two sons, Sirius and Regulus, for my cause. Regulus cleaved to me early on, much like Severus, willing to sacrifice what needed to be sacrificed, but the other son, the older one, Sirius, has fought me tooth and nail."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Lily asked.

"If I find you, I'll soon find James, and if I find James, I'll sooner find Sirius," Lord Voldemort said. "Where are they?'

"I don't know," Lily said. "And if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"Even to save your life?" Lord Voldemort asked as he pressed his wand to her throat. Lily swallowed, thinking about the twins. She knew that as their mother, she should do whatever it took to protect them no matter what, but this was bigger than her and her children. This was about the entire wizarding world.

"Not even to save my life," Lily said certainly. Lord Voldemort pulled his wand away, a light illuminating Lily momentarily as she slumped forward slightly into Lord Voldemort's arms. Lord Voldemort caught her easily and looked at Severus.

"I think that perhaps some inquisition in my private chambers," Lord Voldemort said as he pulled her close to him. He slid his hand, cupping one of her breasts. "Normally, I don't require the comforts of a woman, but I think I might actually enjoy this."

"My lord, she's a Mudblood," Snape said shaking his head. Lord Voldemort held her tightly, his hand remaining on her body. Lily was still, silently cursed out cold for the moment

"She was good enough for you," LV retorted with his eyebrow lifted.

"I am not as pure as you," Snape said as he lowered his head.

"I remonstrate, Snape. We are equal in lineage," Lord Voldemort said. He pushed the girl into Severus Snape's arms. "Prepare her in my chambers… maybe there is information yet to be retrieved."

"Vertiserum?" Severus question quite suggestively, hoping that it would be a better choice that Lord Voldemort would choose and not what Severus feared.

"No, I shall be a little more primitive in my extraction," Lord Voldemort said with a coldly cruel laugh as he slips his wand in his pocket. "Perhaps physicality enough will encourage her."

"But to taint your flesh with her unworthiness, sir," Snape insisted.

"What is that silencing charm?" Lord Voldemort said distractedly, not hearing Snape. He petted the snake, Nagini, deep in thought.

"Muffilato, sir," Snape said defeated.

"Good, I shall cast it then to keep the secrets from getting out. You really are my most loyal and trusted servant," Lord Voldemort said. Severus nodded, taking that as his dismissal, and carried Lily from the study to the Dark Lord's private chambers.

Severus looked at Lily, her auburn hair in waves around her face. She was still out cold and would remain so until she was revived. He waved his wand, conjuring the table of torture that archaic persons used to interrogate and extract detailed information from reluctant muggles. He walked over to the side of the bed, his heart breaking in two. He felt torn between the love of his Dark Lord and the love of Lily Evans. He brushed her hair out of Lily's face.

"I am so sorry, Lily," Severus whispered in her ear. He cupped her face and placed a kiss on her mouth. "I never wanted anything bad to happen to you."

"Don't worry, Severus," Lord Voldemort said as he came up behind the young man standing beside the bed. "If she tells me quickly, it will end quickly for her, and if she doesn't, then, well… when I am done with her you may have her."

"T-thank you, my Lord," Severus said as he stumbled away. He stopped and fell to his knees at Lord Voldemort's feet, Severus' hands gripping the bottoms of the Dark Lord's robes, tears streaming from his dark eyes. He begged, "S-sir, please reconsider. I really love her. Be merciful, please."

"I… I shall be merciful," Lord Voldemort said after a moment of looking down at Severus. "I will not kill her, if that is your fear."

"Thank you, sir. You are a most merciful Dark Lord," Severus breathed. Lord Voldemort's face twisted in a cruel smile.

"Yes, but don't let that get out," Lord Voldemort said. He glanced at Lily. "Now, leave us be. I think she'll fold quickly once she gets a little of the three Unforgivable Curses."

"Two," Severus reminded gently.

"Right, just the two. A simple slip of the tongue," Lord Voldemort said laughing slightly and nodding as Severus walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

Alice glanced at her watch, certain that whether Lily was expecting them to be there or gone, Lily should have returned to the hotel room. It was nearly ten, well past all of the fireworks and celebrations of the Fourth of July, and Lily should have returned. Alice glanced over to where the boys were playing an Atari that they picked up.

"Are you worried?" Frank asked as he looked at his wife.

"Yeah," Alice admitted. She picked up her wand and pointed it at Peter. "Stupefy!" Peter flew back and hit the wall. Alice's mouth dropped open, looking at Peter horrified.

"This is not good," Frank said as Remus jumped up and helped Peter from the floor.

"The wands shouldn't work unless one of us is in danger," Alice cried out as she jumped up and grabbed her purse. "We are all together and not in any obvious danger, so it has to be Lily."

"Lily's in danger?" James said jumping up. "We need to go find her, right now. Where would she have gone?"

"She said she was going shopping to get clothes," Alice said. "She'd probably go to the mall. It has the most diversified choices of clothing."

"What was she wearing when she left here?" Remus asked as they got ready to apparate to the mall.

"Her yellow sundress," Alice said. The group apparated to the parking lot of the mall not at all surprised to find it relatively empty for the hour.

"There is the rental car," Frank said pointing at the small car across the parking lot. The group ran to the car, surprised to find it unlocked and the keys still in the ignition. Alice jerked the car door open and looked around the driver's seat. Lily's purse was still on the front seat. James routed around in on the floor of the passenger seat, producing Lily's wand.

"Her wand," James said. He looked really worried. "She'd never go anywhere without her wand."

"No, she wouldn't," Remus agreed. Sirius pulled her shopping bag from the seat and pulled the yellow sundress from the bag.

"Isn't this the dress you said she was wearing when you last saw her?" Sirius asked. Alice nodded. James' eyes darkened with fear.

"I doubt she is running around naked," Frank said quickly. "I'm sure that she just changed her clothes."

"So, now, she's missing and we have no idea what she's wearing, where she is, or why she'd go without her wand," James said as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "We just know she's in danger, wherever she is."

"You don't think she's… dead… do you?" Alice cried. Sirius shook his head.

"It's Lily," Sirius said. "If she were dead, we'd have known."

"But we don't know where she is," Alice practically wept. "She could be dying as we speak."

"She'll be ok," James said insistently. "I just know she'll be ok."

"Who would have taken her?" Remus wondered aloud as Sirius began unpacking the shopping bag there on the trunk of the car. He hesitated as he looked in the bag, not really understanding what he was seeing. He glanced at Alice and Frank, uncertain, before he pulled out the bibs and jumpers.

"Congratulations?" Sirius said slowly to Alice. Alice looked at him, confused, as he held out the bibs and jumpers. Frank snatched them from Sirius.

"Thanks, Sirius," Frank said quickly. "We're keeping it quiet for now."

"Yeah," Alice replied quickly. She gave the others a look that let them know that the discussion was over with about the baby clothes for now.

"Severus," Peter said quietly.

"What?" The others said loudly.

"Severus is the only one who would get that close to her to take her but not kill her," Peter said raising his voice some. He looked at them. "He has a vendetta against her for screwing with his NEWTs."

"Do you know where he is?" James asked Alice.

"Why would I know?" Alice replied.

"Did Lily ever mention where he went when school was not in? They were close friends," James said quickly.

"Once upon a time ago," Alice countered. "They haven't been close for some time. This trip was supposed to rebuild their friendship."

"So, Severus would have known where Lily would be?" Remus asked. Alice nodded. She started crying in her hands.

"Shh," Frank coaxed to her, taking Alice in his arms. James patted her back.

"Alice, Lily's a big girl and she can handle herself," James assured her. "She'd hate that you were getting all upset, and in your condition. This kind of stress couldn't be good for you or the littlest future Longbottom." Alice burst into tears harder.

"Alice'll be fine once we find Lily," Frank promised.

"Could we just think of Lily and apparate to her?" Peter asked. James shook his head.

"We'd need to know where she was exactly… what was it that guy said? Destination, Determination, Deliberation?"

"Wasn't there four 'D's'?" Sirius asked. The other boy shrugged.

"Back to Lily," Alice begged. "Come on, boys, let's focus."

"Could she have reactivated the wands and headed to Sydney, thinking that we'd all show up there?" Sirius asked.

"No," Alice said shaking her head. "I don't think so. Certainly she wouldn't have left behind her wand or luggage if she was going to, anyways."

"I… I think we should return back to the hotel and think this through," James said slowly. "No need to rush off to Sydney quite yet."

Lily awoke with a start, her revival having gone quite well. She tried to wipe her hair out of her face but found that she was being restrained by invisible restraints. Lord Voldemort stood above her, his eyes flashing with something animalistic as he stood there, his wand fixated on her. He looked serious, like he meant business.

"Ah, well it is good to see that my reviving skills haven't gone belly up without regular use," Lord Voldemort said with a cold, cruel laugh. The sound of it sent a shiver down Lily's spine.

"What do you want?" Lily asked as she struggled against the magical restraints.

"I want to know where Sirius Black is," Lord Voldemort said.

"I can't help you with that," Lily said.

"Can't or won't?" Lord Voldemort asked as he stepped closer to her. Lily turned her head from him, refusing to look at him. "You know I could just break into your mind and take the information from you."

"Something tells me that wouldn't be nearly as much fun for you," Lily said smartly, still not looking at him. She felt her body clench with fear as his hand cupped her face.

"Too right," Lord Voldemort said. He stepped back and pointed his wand at Lily. "Crucio."

Lily cried out, despite herself, the pain unimaginable as it ripped through her body. Lord Voldemort watched, almost bored, as her body twisted and bent in unimaginable ways. Lily was unable to breathe with the intensity of the pain, tears streaming down her face. She lay panting on the floor of his bed chamber, her back to him. Her palms were on the floor, under her forehead, as she tried to catch her breath.

"I… I'm not going to tell you anything," Lily said painting softly as she struggled to her feet slowly.

"Stupid girl," Lord Voldemort said. "Tell me where he is and you can walk out of here free."

"As if," Lily said as she stood there, barely able to stand on her own feet.

"Crucio!" Lord Voldemort said angrily. Lily felt as if she was being torn apart, limb from limb, though no actual harm was coming to her. Her screams, soul piercing and unbearable, echoed in the bed chambers. Lord Voldemort's laughter was barely audible over the shrill screams and shrieks of pain. He let her fall hard to the floor, her shallow breaths barely audible.

"I… will… never… tell… you…" Lily breathed as she struggled to her knees. Lord Voldemort paced a few minutes.

"Perhaps I am going about this the wrong way," he said after a moment. He smiled cruelly at her. "Imperio."

Lily felt detached from her body, as if she was herself standing just outside of her body. As herself, she couldn't understand what was being said. He must have known she'd be so detached from herself and not be able to answer any questions. She could feel herself reaching for the buttons of her dress, much to her horror. She struggled against his control, but Lord Voldemort was very powerful.

"No!" Lily silently screamed in her head as she stood before him wearing nothing but her undergarments. She struggled and succeeded at breaking the spell. "Stop!"

"Will you tell me what I need to know?" Lord Voldemort asked as he stepped forward with a look of business in his scarlet glowing eyes. He let his hand cup her face.

"No! Never!" Lily screamed at him, spitting in his face. Reactively he slapped her hard in the face, the sting of flesh from his back hand. As when Bella hit her, the sting had included the hue of blood in taste mingling with the saliva in her mouth.

"You do realize that if you do not tell me what I want to know, I will take you," Lord Voldemort said suggestively. Lily felt a lump forming in her throat but she fought back her tears.

"I will never betray my friends just to save myself," Lily said with conviction. "I'd rather die than betray them."

"There are things worse than death," Lord Voldemort promised as his hand slipped from her face. He loosened the belt on his robe, quite certain that she could see that he wore nothing below. Lily felt the sickly sour taste of bile creeping up her throat.

"I will never betray them," Lily said.

"Imperio," Lord Voldemort said. Lily was thankful for the next half hour being quite detached from her body.

Long after the curse was relinquished, Lily remained laying on the floor of Lord Voldemort's bed chamber. She was curled in a fetal position, shivering cold but unwilling to move. Long gone was that distant, detached feeling of the Imperio curse. Instead she could feel the sting and burn of the places the Dark Lord had once been. Lord Voldemort removed the silencing charm off the room, and summoned Severus Snape.

The young man stood at the door, uncertain, as his Dark Lord pulled himself up out of the bed. Without shame or modesty, he pulled his robe back on and covered himself. Lord Voldemort glanced at Lily, lying there on his floor before looking at Severus. Severus' eyes were trained on Lily. It took everything in Severus to pull his gaze from her and to look at Lord Voldemort.

"I think it is time for Vertiserum," Lord Voldemort said with slight defeat. "Apparently she is stronger than I thought."

"Yes, my lord," Severus said nodding once and leaving the room. Lord Voldemort swooped down and lifted Lily up as if she was weightless from the floor.

"You've been a good adversary, despite my intense techniques to extract information," Lord Voldemort said as he put her on the bed. He looked at her intently. "I bet Severus doesn't know about these."

Lily slowly glanced down to where Lord Voldemort placed his hand on her lower stomach. Lily shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. In a whispered voice she replied, "No."

"Do you think anyone will want you now?" Lord Voldemort asked her coldly as he forced her clothes in her hand.

"I don't care," Lily said quietly.

"Get dressed," Lord Voldemort said forcibly. "Maybe if you hide it long enough, Severus might save you from the shame of it."

When Severus returned with the Vertiserum, Lily was sitting numbly on the bed, fully dressed. She looked up at Severus with a vacant expression on her face and tears in her eyes. He was alone with her at the moment in the room; her hands grabbed the front of his robes.

"If you ever loved me," Lily whispered. "You'd kill me now."

"Lily, please," Severus begged as he rested his forehead against hers. He held up the bottle. "I have to do this."

"Please, Severus," Lily cried. He turned away, not wanting to see her cry. He glanced back, forcing her mouth open though she really didn't struggle against him, and administering a few drops of the Vertiserum. It wouldn't take long to go into effect and he'd summon Lord Voldemort. He waited and then decided to test it out.

"Lily, why don't you love me like you love James?" Severus asked. Lily sighed.

"I used to," Lily said. "But you chose the dark arts over me, and I could never be a part of this."

"Do you think you could ever leave James for me?" Severus asked.

"No," Lily said shaking her head. "I love him too completely, and I am pregnant with his babies."

"Babies?" Severus asked as his eyes fell on her rounding stomach, as if realizing the implication of the difference he noticed in her appearance.

"Twins, actually," Lily said simply. "Nine weeks."

"Oh, good," Lord Voldemort said as he looked at Lily. "It's working and has kicked in, though it's curious that you've not summoned me."

"I just wanted to check and make sure that it has kicked in properly," Severus said dropping her hand as he stood.

"Fantastic," Lord Voldemort said as he stooped to her level. "So, Lily, where is Sirius Black?"

"I don't know," Lily said quietly. "He and the others never showed up in Washington D.C. like they were supposed to."

"Where would they have gone if not to D.C. where you were?" Lord Voldemort asked. Lily shook her head.

"Sydney, Australia, the Embassy Hotel room 298. It was our next stop on the itinerary, but Severus would have already known that, being that he was originally going to go with me," Lily said quietly. "That is if they were even coming. I don't think they ever intended on coming with us, though they never said one way or another."

"Would you consider joining me if I promised your safety with an unbreakable vow?" Lord Voldemort asked. Lily shook her head.

"I'd rather die," Lily said. Lord Voldemort laughed cruelly.

"That can be arranged," he said. He signaled to Severus. "Take her back to the dungeon until I decide if there is anything more that I can do to, I mean with, her."

"Yes, my lord," Severus said as he took Lily by the arm. She looked at him, certain that she'd have killed him if she had her wand.

"I never wanted this for you, Lily," Severus said.

"Aren't I the lucky girl?" Lily said dully as she was placed behind the locked door. The Vertiserum was already beginning to wear off. With a loud metal clank, the door was locked and Lily watched as Severus put the key on a hook at the base of the wood steps. He glanced back at her as he started up the stairs to join the other Death Eaters. Finally alone, she vomited from the remembrance of his flesh touching hers.


	39. C39: Will You?

**A/N:** Ok, so everyone assumed that LV raped Lily, right? That's what the angry emails I am getting (_starting to think maybe I should remove my email address_) indicate. Ok, so if clears it up: she was not raped. She was tortured, though… and yes, sexually abused, but no, he did not rape her… he's still too good for a Mudblood. Perhaps he planned to and had second thoughts, but we don't really know why he had second thoughts… _I doubt it was because he cared or anything_… who knows why he does anything?! So no, he did not rape her. Just to clear that up. I know a bunch of people were upset about this story, and what not, and I get it. But, in my defense… I did warn you.

**Warning:** This chapter includes magic, co-habitation without marriage, bad manners, flash backs, tears, nightmares, some language, and taking the lord's name in vain _(seriously, though, I'll add more detailed warnings from now on, ok?)._

**Disc.:** I wrote the plot. The characters are just being borrowed for my own devices.

**C 39: Will You?**

Lily barely glanced up as the cell door opened again. Severus walked in, carrying another tray of food in for Lily. He tripped over several other trays that were on the floor, still full of food, nearly falling on his face. Severus was only able to just keep himself on his feet. He glanced down at the offending trays, righting himself fully. He set the metal tray down, looking at Lily laying there on the little cot.

"Lily, you have to eat," Severus said quietly. Lily continued to lay there. "Listen, Lily. You've been here two weeks; you've got to eat something."

"I'm not hungry," Lily said.

"You have to think of your babies, Lily," Severus said.

"Right," Lily said as she sat up on the cot. "You don't actually think that I want them to be born here, in a dungeon."

"Give the Dark Lord Sirius Black, and he'll let you go," Severus insisted as he sat down on the cot next to her. He summoned the tray, catching it deftly in his hand. He offered it to her, but she refused.

"I'm not going to give him up," Lily said. Severus shook his head.

"Sirius is an asshole," Severus said.

"Yeah, he might be, but he's my friend," Lily said. Severus nodded once and pressed the tray into Lily's hands. She glanced up at the open door and then down at the tray. She looked at Severus.

"A kiss before you go?" Severus whispered. Lily nodded, leaning forward, her mouth meet his slightly. He parted his lips slightly, deepening the kiss. He pulled back slightly. "Make it look good."

"Thank you," Lily said as she swung the tray up hard, knocking Severus clear across the head with the tray. The sound of metal on bone reverberated through the small cell. Lily checked to make sure that Severus was still alive, that he hadn't been killed, before she ran out the door to the cell. She swung the door shut, and tiptoed up the stairs. She had no idea where she was but she knew she needed to get out of the house, wherever she was, and get far, far away.

Luck was on her side. The full moon had passed the week before, the weather was clear, and she could make out the gate not too far off from the window she had climbed out of in a hurry. She was thankful she still could run, hiding behind bushes and trees, despite her rounding stomach. She got winded easily, looking close to five months along despite being just eleven weeks. She slid under the gate, struggling a bit as her dress snagged a bit on the edge of the fence.

Lily ran as fast as her legs would take her through the woods and away from the house of hell she had escaped from. She still had no idea where she was going. She kept looking up at the sky, checking the scars, and thanking God she paid attention to Astronomy class. She knew she was heading north, though she wasn't sure if north was a good direction, but she knew she was not running around in circles.

She closed her eyes, thinking about the hotel she had been with Alice and Frank. She knew it was unlikely that she would be able to apparate, but she had to try. She turned on the spot, thinking about the hotel. She felt a familiar tug of apparation and she stumbled in the parking deck of the hotel, pitching forward and fell on her face, her palms and knees scraping on the rough asphalt. Lily jumped up, looking around. She was terrified and excited that she had performed un-wanded magic, and accurately enough to apparate to the hotel parking deck, just a little off from where she was aiming.

Lily glanced at her reflection in a car as she walked by it. She looked a lot a bit like hell, she thought, her hair unwashed and her clothes dirt covered. She wasn't sure how she was going to get into her room, she was just thankful she had put the room on a credit card to keep it until she checked out. Several people looked at her oddly as she walked in the front door of the hotel barefoot and disheveled, and straight over to the elevator. She pressed the up button, stepping onto the elevator, and pressed the eighth floor button. The door was locked to her room, as expected. She paused at the door, her hand resting against the lock. She closed her eyes, focusing all of her magic through her hand.

"Alohamora," Lily whispered. The door unlocked and Lily walked into her room. She rested against the door, ignoring the pain she had in her feet from the thorns and things she had stepped on in her escaped. She walked straight into the bathroom and flipped on the hot water. She looked at herself in the mirror. She felt the tears run down her face, hot and unimpeded, as she stood looking at the unfamiliar person staring back at her. Lily tore off her clothes, never wanting to see them again. She stood their naked, seeing for the first time in weeks how she had changed.

She was rounder now, though she had only been gone for two weeks. She tentatively stepped into the shower, under the hot water, and felt a sigh of relief escape her. She was safe, and the knowledge that she truly was safe flooded over her and mingled with the torrents of tears that streamed down her face. She was sobbing now, scouring her flesh with soap to remove the weeks of abuse she had suffered at the hands of Death Eaters. Even the hot water and soap could wash away the bruises and cuts. She knew she needed to see a doctor, but she knew any doctor would have questions and Lily just didn't want to talk about it, any of it.

When her skin was as pink as it could manage to be, Lily stepped out from under the shower and turned the water off. The silence was deafening. Lily wrapped a towel around herself and headed to the phone. Later, she would call Frank and Alice to assure them that she was ok. For now, she was starving and she ordered up quite a bit of room service. Secretly, she had been nibbling on the food back in captivity, but not enough to be noticed. She had been afraid that it might be poisoned or tainted. She silently hoped that Severus was alright.

Room service arrived on a cart with wheels, and Lily could practically taste the food as she opened up each tray. With the attendant gone, Lily made short work of the food, sampling and eating until she was so full and drowsy that she could hardly keep her eyes closed. She pulled on some clothes, thankful she hadn't sent the bulk of them ahead, searching around until she found a giant tee shirt. She didn't care to notice at the moment the extra luggage in the room; instead she climbed into one of the beds, pulled the covers up to her chin and fell fast asleep.

For two weeks they looked tirelessly for Lily. They contacted the muggle law enforcement, as well as the magical law enforcement. The searched high and low and everything seemed to point back to another missing and presumed dead person at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Two weeks was the breaking point for James, who knew if they hadn't found her alive by then, they would be forced to believe the worst.

Alice cried a lot those two weeks, full of worry for her best friend. Frank and Alice had debated whether or not to tell James about the babies. On one hand, they knew he had a right to know, but on the other hand, he was suffering so much. In the end, they kept it quiet and didn't say much of anything. It was the same. The six of them would go out early in the morning, spend all day searching for her high and low, and then return late at night to start again the next day. It was their routine.

James had taken to carrying around Lily's wand with him everywhere he went, her wand next to his. He wouldn't give up, not at all. He knew, deep within him, that she was alive and he would find her. It was his duty as her boyfriend to never give up hope even when the magical law enforcement told him it had been too long and it was time to let her go. James wasn't ready to just throw in the towel.

He was the first back to the hotel, having decided to look alone for a little while. In actuality, he had wandered around crying for a bit of the day, and he had needed that. He wasn't big into praying, but he found himself begging the powers that be to give him a chance, to allow Lily and him to have some happiness in their lives. James stopped at the desk.

"Any messages for room eight-oh-three?" James asked the clerk. The clerk glanced at the box and shook his head.

"No, sir," the clerk said shaking his head.

"Thanks," James said as he began to walk away.

"Did you enjoy the food?" the clerk asked him. James turned back to look at the clerk, a confused look on his face.

"Food?" James asked.

"Yeah," the clerk said. "It was ordered a little while ago."

"It was?" James asked. The clerk nodded with a confused look on his own face. James nodded quickly. "It was, wasn't it? It was fine."

James headed to the elevator, aggressively pressing the button until the doors slid open and he climbed on board. He pressed the key for the eighth floor and restlessly tapped his foot while the elevator seemed to take an insanely long amount of time heading up to the eighth floor. Finally, when James was certain that he could take no more of the vertical travel, the doors slid open and James climbed out. He headed straight to the door and tapped it once with his wand.

The room was pitch dark and still as James entered, his wand at the ready should he need it for anything. James held his breath as he crept closer and closer to the lumpy mass on one of the beds. He could see it moving and he was ready to pounce on it, should it make a move to attack. He reached down for the edge of the covers, gripping it in his non-wand hand. He jerked back the covers, a scream piercing the silence of the night.

The others had seen James ahead of them on the elevator, so they assumed that he had already checked for messages. They had waited silently for the elevator, not saying much of anything. They were drained, only wanting to crawl into bed and sleep. They were walking toward the room when they heard the scream from their room and the five of them took off down the hall towards the room.

Alice screamed something, though the words were lost on the boys as she pushed past them and flung her arms around Lily. The two girls were crying and hugging, their word undistinguishable through the sobs and hiccups of the girls. The boys just looked on, uncertain about the correct way to handle girls crying that way. The two girls were crying and talking, but nothing could be translated into words.

"Where have you been?" James asked quietly. Lily looked up and as if seeing him for the first time pushes Alice aside and wraps her arms around him.

"L-Lord V-Voldemort," Lily sobbed. She tucked her face into his neck and cried.

"Did he hurt you?" James asked angrily. Lily continued to cry, nodding. "What did he do to you? Why you?"

"He was naked," Lily cried. "He was going to… going to…"

"To what?" James asked quietly. Lily cried harder, shaking her head.

"He didn't. He said the thought of me surrounding him disgusted him," Lily wailed. James patted her back.

"We should go," Sirius said quietly pushing Peter toward the door.

"No," Lily said loudly. She looked up at him from James' strong shoulder. "He's looking for you. He won't give up until he gets you. Your mom promised him your service, and he wants you to serve him. He's going to look for you until he finds you."

"He hurt you because of me?" Sirius asked disturbed. Lily nodded.

"Yeah," Lily said nodding again. "I refused to tell him. Granted I didn't know where you were, therefore I couldn't have told him had I wanted to, but still… I didn't tell him."  
"Jesus, Lily," Sirius said shaking his head. "You should have told him."

"I don't betray my friends!" Lily said as she bit back another sob. "Even if I had known, I wouldn't have given you up. You're my friend."

"But he hurt you!" Sirius exclaimed.

"He would have hurt me anyways," Lily countered. Sirius hesitated then nodded, knowing she was right. Lord Voldemort hurt others just to hurt them. Lily give him up wouldn't have stopped Lord Voldemort from torturing and hurting Lily. He walked over to her and hugged her while she was still standing there in James' arms. The three of them stood there. He pulled away after a minute and looked down at the baggy tee shirt, but didn't say anything.

"Ok, I know this is an emotionally charged time right now, but I'm starved. Can we cry and hug over a bowl of soup or steak?" Sirius asked. Lily laughed and buried her faced deeper into James. She felt truly safe for the first time in weeks.

After room service was delivered, the seven sat around talking and eating. Lily remained snuggled against James in the bed, having crawled into it moments before the food arrived. Sirius again looked like he was going to say something, but the food's arrival distracted him. Lily yawned and rested her head against the pillow, listening drowsily while they talked.

"So, in the morning we will go ahead and head home," Alice said quietly. Lily bolted upright, nearly tipping the plate James was balancing on her.

"No!" Lily cried out. "I'm not letting that monster take the rest of my summer away from me!"

"Are you sure?" Alice asked giving her a look.

"I'm fine, really. Shaken, yes, but fit as a fiddle," Lily promised nodding emphatically. "I'll go to the doctor to get checked out, even, to prove everything is fine."

"Are you sure, because you've been through a lot and I am worried about you," Alice said. Lily shot her another look.

"I'll survive," Lily said. The two girls seemed to continue the conversation silently between the two of them with looks before Alice nodded.

"Then tomorrow we'll go see Dr. Wells," Alice said simply. That was the end of the conversation between them. Alice started to get ready for bed. She glanced back at Lily, who was already fast asleep.

"What is up with you?" Remus whispered to Alice as he nodded towards Lily. Sirius had stopped untying his shoe to listen.

"Nothing," Alice lied. "I'm just glad to have Lily back and safe, that's all."

"Remind me to give her back her wand in the morning, will you?" James asked Sirius as the boy slid into the bed next to James, who was between Lily and Sirius.

"Will do, brother," Sirius said as he slid under the covers. Lily snuggled into James, sighing.

"I'm glad we have her back, too," James murmured as he kissed her forehead slightly before he put his head down next to hers on the pillow. "I'm going to get that son of a bitch back for hurting her."

Lily was asleep, dreaming. It was the first of many nightmares that she would be plagued with for some time. In her dream, she was struggling against Lord Voldemort. He was holding her down, hard, threatening to cut the babies from her stomach. Lily began fighting him, jerking and thrashing to free herself from Lord Voldemort's grasp.

"Lily, wake up, wake up," James said shaking her shoulders lightly. "Shh, wake up."

"James?" Lily asked a little disoriented.

"Hey, honey, wake up, it's ok," James said quietly. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe now, with me, and I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you."

"Thank god," Lily breathed as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"I, uh, have to use the facilities," Lily said quietly as she walked over to the bathroom. James had wakened Sirius when he had rescued Lily from her nightmare.

"Hey, where's Lily?" Sirius asked quietly as he pushed himself up on his arm.

"Bathroom," James said. The door opened and the two boys looked up to see Lily silhouetted in the light of the bathroom. James saw Lily for the first time, really saw her. "Hey, Sirius there's something to what you said about Lily."

"Which was?" Sirius asked as they watched her was her hands in the sink.

"She HAS gotten a little chunky," James said quietly.

"No, I don't think that is chunkiness," Sirius whispered shaking his head. "I think… and I could be wrong, but I don't think so… I think Lily might be pregnant."

"Pregnant?!" James yelled, causing everyone to wake and to jump up. Lily looked over at James, her mouth open.

"Shh, it's not that big of a deal," Alice said sleepily.

"You knew?" James asked.

"I've seen them," Alice yawned waving them off and rolling back into Frank.

"Them?" James asked quietly. Lily walked over to James and climbed back into bed. She turned the light on and looked at him.

"I found out when I got here," Lily said quietly. "I was going to tell you the minute when you and I got back together. I'm pregnant with twins."

"Who's the father?" James asked stupidly. Lily looked angry.

"You are, you idiot," Lily snapped.

"Didn't use protection?" James asked.

"Obviously not," Lily said as she turned away from him. She bit back a sob that threatened to erupt from her. She reached up and turned off the light, her back remaining positioned toward him.

"Lily," James said quietly in her ear. "It's just a shock, you know?"

"I know," Lily replied. She didn't turn toward him, just willed sleep.

"I'm happy, I am," James promised. "And we can get married straight away."

"I don't want to get married," Lily said quickly. "Not because we're going to be parents."

The room was silent for a few minutes. Lily felt herself tense and unable to relax. She had known that he wouldn't have been thrilled about these turn of events. After all, they were only eighteen, and not married. What would his mother and father think about the way these things? Surely they'd not like a set of illegitimate grandchildren.

"I'm going to be a DAD!" James shouted excitedly as he jumped up on the bed. He began jumping from his bed to Alice and Frank's bed. "I'm going to be a DAD!"

"Yeah, you are," Alice and Frank laughed sleepily. James threw his arms around Lily.

"I love you SO MUCH!" James said as he kissed Lily on her mouth. "I really do. You and I are going to make great parents. I can't wait to meet our children. How far along are you… we?"

"Almost twelve weeks, James," Lily said quietly as she pulled away from him. "You can come with me to the appointment tomorrow."

"Don't be mad with me Lils," James begged. "There have just been so many emotions today."

"I know," Lily said yawning. "I'm tired."

"Right, of course," James said climbing in to the bed between Lily and Sirius. He cuddled against Lily. "You're sleeping for three."

"Be sure to remember that," Lily laughed sleepily. James hesitantly rested his hand on her stomach, uncertain if it was appropriate. Lily must have been okay with it because she scooted closer to James.

"Hey, Lily?" James whispered in her ear.

"Hmm?" Lily murmured sleepily.

"Will you marry me?" James asked.

"Someday," Lily murmured as she drifted off to sleep.


	40. C40: Safari

**A/N:** I hope the last little chapter didn't throw anyone off. I just find it amazing that so many people can believe that murder can happen, but that sexual stuff doesn't. Ah well… some people live in the real world and some do not.

**Warning:** Themes include premarital coupling, hand holding, and death. People with weak stomachs and pacemakers shouldn't 'ride this ride'. Management assumes no responsibility for cry babies. (Told you that I was serious. I would include more detailed warnings).

**Disc.:** I own little to nothing.

**C40: Safari **

James was sitting against one of the few trees in the African savannah. They were stopped for a moment, bird watching, and James has wandered off to gaze at his babies. Granted, all he had was the ultrasound taken just before they headed to Africa. The twins, girls, were now twenty weeks along. He was thrilled that he was getting two little daughters, and could even forgive Lily for dragging them out into the grasslands of the Serengeti in the middle of September.

They had extended their world exploration trip by two weeks, and while the nights were cold and the days were hot, James was really having a great time. He spent his nights with his hand on Lily's stomach, feeling the stir of life beneath her belly button. He was amazed the way that the girls wiggled and squirmed under his hand. He loved the girls, his women.

"Come on James!" Lily shouted from the jeep, waving him over. "We're going to look at rhinos and elephants!"

"Hooray!" James cheered as he stored the little black and white pictures of his daughters in his wallet before joining the others in the jeeps with their guides.

He couldn't believe how excited she was, and how beautiful. She seemed to glow with an internal glow; excitement remained plastered on her face. She spent most of this safari poking James and pointing out subtle things he really would have missed had she not pointed it out for her. He hadn't asked her to marry him again, not yet. He didn't have second thoughts about marrying her, though he regretted just asking her in bed after finding out that she was having his babies.

He could see his fault there. She was a proud woman, insistent that she not think that James only wanted to marry her because she was pregnant. He knew it wasn't the only reason, or any reason. He had planned on marrying her before he found out that she was pregnant. Granted from her side, she couldn't have known that, but he did and he planned on asking her again as soon as the time was right. He kissed her, lovingly touching her stomach. He laughed, his daughter kicking his hand away.

That night, like every night, they sat around the fire, eating and drinking. The guides told stories of poachers and of trials on the Serengeti. James grinned and coaxed Lily to follow him into their tent. Sirius laughed as Lily eagerly followed him. They certainly rocked the tent that night.

"I was thinking," James said quietly as he stroked the soft skin of his beloved Lily while they cuddled together in their tent.

"Mhmm?" Lily murmured as she nuzzled against James' chest, running her finger along his skin in a tantalizing way.

"My grandparents left me a house in Godric Hollow and when we get home, there is a perfect room next to the main suite that we could turn into a nursery," James said carefully.

"Nursery?" Lily inquired.

"Yeah, for our daughters," James said. He paused. "I want you to move in with me when we get back to England. I want us to live together and raise the girls together."

"Live together unmarried?" Lily asked. James grinned.

"I'd rather us get married, but I refuse to rush you," James said. "I was thinking we could talk marriage after the girls are born."

"I love you," Lily said kissing him.

"I love you, too," James said grinning. "So, pink and white bedding is girly, right… with lace?"

"Yeah," Lily said. "You're too cute, thinking about this."

"I've been thinking a lot about us," James admitted.

"I like that," Lily said. "It makes me feel like you're actually growing up." James shrugged.

"It was bound to happen eventually," James said. "You and our girls are worth growing up for."

In the morning, the group climbed into the jeeps and headed off to see a lazy pride of lions sleeping among the golden grasses. It was exciting for them, to be so close to the big cats and to taste the heat of them in the air. The lionesses were tearing apart the flesh of a gazelle, much to the delight of the boys. Alice and Lily made faces at each other, rolling their eyes. It would figure that the boys would be that excited about something so gruesome. Down by the watering hole, they saw smelly wildebeest and hippopotamuses. It was an amazing feat, for sure.

Heading to base camp nearing sunset, Lily and Alice stood and watched as long legged birds took off to the sky. They were standing, holding the roll bars of the jeeps and laughing. The two of them were the source of much amusement for the boys. James went to say something to Lily, something witty and bright, when the jeep hit a deep hole and lurched, sending Lily and Alice tumbling back. The two nearly fell from the jeep. Alice and Lily looked a little startled and shaken up, knowing that even a fall at 35 miles an hour would be quite dangerous. The two girls went to sit down when the jeeps slammed to a sudden stop, sending the two girls into the front seat, Alice on top of Lily and Lily on top of the gear shift. A bull elephant was staring them down, ready to charge.

"Don't move or we're all dead," the guide whispered. Alice froze as she went to climb off of Lily. The elephant moved on and the guide gave them the all clear to move. Alice scrambled off of Lily quickly and offered her hand to Lily. Lily pulled herself back to the back seat.

"Are you ok?" Alice asked. Lily's face was sheet white.

"Hmm." Lily said quietly as she placed her hand on her stomach. It was tight, like normal, but the girls didn't seem to be moving very much.

"Lily," James asked worried.

"I'm sure it's fine. I just don't think the girls like that trip into the front seat," Lily said forcing a smile.

"Well, when we get back to base camp I want you to lay down for a little while, ok?" James said as he looked at her concerned. Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"Yes, Daddy," Lily said. James grinned at her, liking the way that sounded coming off her lips.

Lily was bored in bed, staring at the ceiling of the tent. She could see the flashing of the fire on the roof of the tent. She was feeling a bit sore from her flying dive into the front seat of the jeep. She stood and suddenly felt dampness on her skirt. Her first fear was that she had lost control of her bladder, something that had been threatening since the girls got big enough to tap dance on her bladder. Lily reached below her stomach and glanced at her hand in shock.

Blood dripped from between her fingers. In the firelight, the blood looked redder and quite ominous. She felt pain rip across her abdomen, and she doubled over. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to see James looking quite horrified. She assumed that she must have called him, but she didn't recall doing so.

"I'm going to take her to St. Mungo's," James told the others, struggling to get Lily to her feet. "You come when you're done dealing with the guides."

James apparated with Lily, and before he knew what was happening, she was whisked away from him and he was forced into sterile garbs. He was terrified, not certain what was happening. Healers were rushing around, bumping into James as they rushed past him. The head healer pulled him off to the side.

"Son, things aren't looking good for any of them. She said that she fell against the gear shift of a jeep," the healer said.

"We were on Safari," James said frightened. "What's going to happen to Lily and the girls?"

"We have to take the girls now, to save Lily," the Healer said.

"Ok," James said.

"The thing is the girls will not survive. They are too little," the Healer said shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"So… they are going die?" James asked hesitantly.

"Yes," the Healer said. "But we might be able to save Lily if we start labor now and take them."

"What does Lily say?" James asked.

"We have her out of it, to ease the pain of it all," the Healer said. "She's not very coherent right now. You have to decide. If we don't treat her, the babies will die and she will die too. If we start treating her, the babies will still die but we might be able to save her."

"Save her," James said quietly.

"Would you like to be there when they are born?" The Healer asked. James nodded.

"They are our daughters," James said nodding solemnly.

"Ok," the Healer said.

James was there, sitting next to Lily. She really was out of it, not even awake really. The room was quiet as each baby was delivered. Each tiny girl was perfect, a perfect blend of their mother and father, with tiny little fingers and tiny toes. James was handed each of the girls, still warm and sticky with blood. Their first and last minute of life spent in their father's protective arms. Neither girl took their first breaths, nor cried their first cries. It took only a minute for them to succumb to such an early birth, protected from the world, and for the moment they lived in their Daddy's arms.

James held each of them in his arms, their tiny bodies wrapped safe and secure in a blanket. James knew that the healers wouldn't have even attempt to save them, being born at twenty weeks were twenty weeks too soon. Once their hearts had stopped, the healers took the twins, cleaned them up, and offered to return them to James' arms. He shook his head and opted to look at them lying on the warming bed, the light now off. There was no purpose to keep them warm. They had died before they had even had a chance to live.

He felt hot tears spill down his cheeks and his chest felt tight, like he couldn't breathe. James touched the children's fingers and hands, his finger caressed their tiny cheeks and traced their angelic little mouths. Realization sunk in. He became a father and it was taken away, all in a breath or lack thereof. He stayed next to the girls for a while, glancing over his shoulder to check on Lily.

"How is she?" James asked as the healer sent Lily on to recovery. The healer came over to James and patted him on the shoulder.

"She's going to be alright," the healer said.

"What happened?" James asked.

"We think that the fall caused a tear in the placenta," the healer said.

"The placenta?" James asked.

"The protective sac around the babies," the healer explained. "It tore and she bled out enough in her uterus, spreading the tear until her water broke completely and you brought her here. Had you waited even half an hour longer she would have died."

"If we had brought her in sooner, could we have saved the babies?" James asked. The healer looked at him, sympathetically.

"Son, I have to be honest with you, I don't know," the healer said. "I would have to say though, it is highly unlikely. Sometimes, it is not meant to be, and while it doesn't make your loss any less, we were able to preserve her fertility. The next few weeks will be the hardest for her."

"Thank you," James said.

"She should have an opportunity to hold the babies," the healer said. "We find the mothers who lose babies cope better having had the opportunity to spend some time with them."

"May I bring my friends back to see the babies?" James said. "They're practically our family."

"Sure," the healer said nodding.

James headed down the hall, still covered in blood from the birth. He headed to the waiting room, surprised to see more than the Marauders, Alice, and Frank. His parents were there, several of the professors from school, and others were standing and sitting around. They all looked up in shock, and James glanced down at the clothes, seeing that he probably should have cleaned up before getting them.

"James?" Alice asked quietly. James walked straight into Sirius' arms, crying without shame.

"The babies didn't make it," James cried. Sirius held him tight, being the strength James needed right there.

Sometime later, James headed in to see Lily. She was fully awake now, holding the babies alone in her room. She was peering into their little faces, tears slipping down her face. James had changed, not wanting her to see him covered in her blood. He sat down in the small chair next to her bed. She looked up at him.

"I'm sorry," Lily said wiping her eyes.

"It's not your fault," James said. Lily shook her head.

"I pushed for us to extend our vacation. I pushed for us to go to Africa," she said. James shook his head.

"That doesn't make it your fault," James said. "Look, I hope you don't mind, but my parents want to have the babies buried in the Potter family plot."

"I don't mind," Lily said as she begun to cry, her tears rushing down her cheeks and splashing onto the tiny babies. "They are, after all, Potters."

"Thank you, Lily," James said as he wiped away his own tears.

"They're so tiny," Lily said. James nodded.

"Hannah Marie was the biggest," James said. "She was almost twenty-seven centimeters tall and a little heavier than a soda can. Cristina Anne was the smallest. She's only twenty-five and a half centimeters tall, and lighter than a soda can."

"You named them?" Lily asked sniffling. James nodded.

"Alice told me that she had told you those names, and they seemed perfect," James said. Lily nodded.

"I love those names," Lily said.

The two parents sat alone for a few hours with their babies before handing them over to the healers. Lily turned her head, crying into James' arms, as the healers took the babies away for preparation. The next time Lily saw her babies was on the day they were buried.

"Thank you, James, for putting them together," Lily said as she stood weakly next to him to say good-bye to that chapter of their lives. She planted a kiss on each girls' head and closed the casket.

"I just thought that our daughters shouldn't have to be alone," James said quietly. "So I opted to have them placed together in the same casket. The thought of them being separated broke my heart."

"Thank you," Lily said. She wrapped her arms around James, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I don't know what I would have done if I had to do this alone."

"I love you," James whispered. "No matter what, I will always love you. I would never make you do this alone. You are still the mother of my children."

"And you are still the father," Lily sniffed as she wiped her eyes with her hands.


	41. C41: Guilty Of

**A/N:** I wanted to say that I woke up the other day ready to walk away from this story. It wasn't anything anyone said (everyone has been so nice) but after the loss of the twins, I guess I felt really awful. I can't really explain it. I don't know what is wrong with me. I was reading through all of the reviews from the last chapter, the quiet in the air, and I really was literally crying when I read the reviews. I love you all so much, the reviews are wonderful. I woke up this morning thinking I'd just stop writing this chapter (maybe it is the weather that is depressing). I have actually scrapped most of my first attempt at this chapter, as well as my second attempt (this is the third attempt, and the one I am sticking with). I needed to give the characters time to heal a bit from their ordeal. So, there is a huge gap of time that has passed. Oh, and the chapter is the longest one I have ever written. Sorry!

**Warning:** Sadness, co-bed sharing.

**Disc.:** I own what I created, and the rest is just lovingly borrowed.

**C41: Guilty Of**

The rain was as steady as ever as it hit the window, the sound the only sound that resonated through the tiny flat near King's Crossing. It was late, maybe eleven or twelve at night, the air cold and warning of winter, yet for the inhabitants of the area, winter refused to come. Instead it rain steadily, drenching everything in a cold, damp rain that pierced the skin and froze the bones.

Lily huddled under her umbrella, her frame hidden beneath a large cloak. She walked in short, brisk steps as she avoided the large puddles and maneuvered the streets of London. She had been living here, in the flat, for nearly three months. It had been a choice she had made on the fly, and every day she walked into the door and was met with silence, she felt the pieces of her broken heart crumble a little more.

She held tight to the paper bag she carried with her. It was a gift of sorts from one of her co-workers at the restaurant she was working at during the evenings and night. She always headed there after her day job at the book store. It wasn't that she liked working two jobs, but it kept her busy and paid the bills. It also made her dead tired, too tired to think about things, things like the twins… and like James.

James, he had been so great after the twins' death. He took care of everything, made it so that Lily wouldn't have to worry about anything. He wanted her to just relax and heal. All noble things, the pressures he removed from Lily's shoulders, but she found healing in a house he had intended to make their home worse than everything else combined. To see his sad face when he thought she wasn't looking, than for him to plaster a look of normalcy when he looked at her, she knew she couldn't torture him any longer.

It was the hardest thing Lily had ever done, far harder than letting the twins go, letting go of what that monster did to her when she was captured. She turned to James after just a month of living in Godric's Hollow and told him that she was moving out. He had looked at her as if she had just stabbed him in the heart, and maybe she had. She didn't try to make him understand, she just gathered her things and moved into a flat in London.

She had chosen the flat that looked over King's Crossing because for her, it symbolized a place of change. The people were never the same as they came and went. She had first walked into that station and onto that platform each year a little less innocent than the year before. For her, King's Crossing represented change internally as well as externally.

The first days had been the roughest for Lily. She had second thoughts about her decision. Alice and Frank had tried to talk her out of it, tried to get Lily to see reason. Lily shook them off and showed them the door. She needed this, a time to heal alone. She had lost two very important people to her, and while on the outside she looked fine and physically she had healed, inside, Lily was shattered and broken.

A few times, Lily had wanted to go rushing right back into James' arms and beg for forgiveness. She blamed herself for the twins' death. If she hadn't insisted on the damn trip to Africa, if she hadn't insisted on a roughing-it safari in the Serengeti, maybe she'd be about thirty-three weeks along, nearly full term for a twin pregnancy. She couldn't believe so much time had already passed.

Lily climbed the steps of the building, stopping suddenly and looking over her shoulder. She was certain she felt eyes on her, and she looked but saw nothing on the street behind her. Shaking her head, she fished the keys from her purse and fitted the key into the lock. She opened the door and stepped in, stopping only long enough to close her umbrella and shake off the few rogue rain drops that seemed to have found their way to her.

Lily glanced back out the door before heading up to her apartment, entering with a swift tap of her wand to the lock. She had a key, for when the muggles were about, but this late at night she didn't bother with it. Most of the people in her building were old and didn't bother with checking to see what time she came in. Mainly they left her alone, and she naturally didn't bother them. She stood alone in her tiny living room, her eyes avoiding the picture on the mantle. Ever since Lily had moved out, the picture that once held her, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Alice, and Frank had changed. Picture Lily was always off to the side alone.

It wasn't that she wanted to be alone, quite the contrary, she just couldn't help but think she needed to be alone. She didn't want people walking around, feeling sorry for her. She could do that well enough on her own, and did. She couldn't make people stop, so she just pulled away from them.

Lily pulled her jacket off, hanging it on the coat tree by the door and removed her simple black shoes. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, thinking she looked a little tired despite the attempt to cover up the dark circles under her eyes. She was sad, and she was numb. Slowly as she walked through her small flat, she unbuttoned her shirt and left her simple black skirt in a heap in the hall. The old Lily would have worried about wrinkles, but she didn't know the old Lily anymore.

Lily glanced at her reflection in the mirror over her dresser, purposefully not looking at her stomach, a remaindered more painful than the ultrasound pictures and mementoes she had locked away in a shoe box in the back of her closet. She didn't need her body reminding her yet again that she had failed. She was ambivalent about every decision she had made since she had found out she was pregnant.

On one hand, she had been spared the humility of having children out of wedlock. The children were technically never declared alive having never taken their first breath, therefore she was secretly thankful. It was that relief and thankfulness, that crept into her mind when she least expected it, that caught her off guard and filled her with guilt. She'd have no shame, having still born infants buried away from the sight of others. It was enough to kill her.

On the other, it was that guilt that stung her when she wasn't careful to keep herself guarded. She felt guilty for finding a positive in the loss of her babies. She secretly admitted, but only to herself, that the idea of being a mother terrified her. While she did not doubt James' ability to father the babies, she had great doubt in herself. It was enough to drive a person mad.

Lily pulled her nightgown on and slipped her slippers on her feet, carrying the paper bag across the small place, storing it in her refrigerator. As had all the other meals her coworker sent her along with, Lily would not eat but just a few bites. She lost her appetite when she lost the twins and needed little to satiate her on, just a few bites here or there and strong, black coffee with lots of sugar.

As she lay upon her bed, tucked under the covers, she looked at the window streaking with December rain, wondering secretly what James was doing right then. Had he taken her advice and started seeing anyone new. She closed her eyes for a second and brought him back into focus from that day in the grave yard. They had crossed paths, a few weeks after she had left. It had been awkward, and they found that they didn't have much to say to each other. She had kissed his cheek and told him that she was seeing someone new. It had been a lie, but she needed to know that she hadn't killed the old James Potter.

His happiness was worth the further destruction of her heart.

The rain danced on the rubbish bin outside of his window, and for a moment James thought about getting up and moving the blasted things. To do so, though, would mean he let go of the vision he was holding fast to in his mind. It was always the same lovely girl, Lily, her hair aflame in the setting sun. In his mind, James always had his arms around her tight, never wanting to let go. His tears had stopped for her that day in the graveyard. She had frozen his heart with her talk of someone new. He couldn't believe she could so casually tell him that she had moved on, there just feet from their daughters' grave. He shook his head and rolled to his side.

"Damn her," James growled into the silence that was the house at Godric's Hollow. "Damn every ounce of her being."

"Are you damning any 'her' in particular, or the whole female race?" Sirius asked as he paused at James' open door. James as a young man had always slept with his door closed, but after Lily left, he always left it open should she wish to return to him. She may have moved on, but he couldn't. He had spent too many years trying to make her see that he loved her.

"Just her," James said as he rolled onto his back. Sirius stepped into the room, holding two drinks and two sandwiches. He joined James in bed, offering his best friend the other sandwich and drink, as if he knew.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius asked. James took a bite of the sandwich and shook his head.

"Nothing new to say," James said with a full mouth. "Same heartache, different day."  
"Why don't you go talk to her?" Sirius asked. James swallowed and took a sip of the drink. He pondered that a bit. He hadn't seen Lily since that day in the grave yard, and she had been radiant and beautiful. If some other guy made her feel that way, who was he to take away her happiness by reappearing in her life.

"She's happier without me in her life," James said. Sirius shook his head.

"I doubt that," Sirius said.

"No, she is," James said.

"Again, I doubt that," Sirius said.

"She's seeing someone," James said emphatically.

"Says her," Sirius said. James rolled his eyes.

"She's over me," James said.

"You're pathetic," Sirius said.

"Hey," James countered.

"Well, I figure if you're having a pity party, then I'd jump on the train," Sirius said. He took an inhumanly large bite of his sandwich. "As it is, I doubt she's seeing anyone. She can't possibly have the time."

"Please tell me you haven't been following her again," James begged. Sirius shrugged.

"I won't tell you then," Sirius said. James sighed, knowing that he was a glutton for punishment.

"Tell me," James said.

"Nope, you said you didn't want to know if I ever did again," Sirius said.

"Come on, Sirius," James moaned. "Can't you see that I am miserable? Just put me out of my misery and let me die."

"I can see just fine that you are miserable, just like I know she is too," Sirius said. "She may not admit it, but losing you was probably the worst thing to ever happen to her."

"If that was true, why wouldn't she just come home?" James begged.

"I donno," Sirius said. "Maybe you should go ask her."

"She doesn't want to see me," James said. He pointed a finger at a large stack of letters. "The stupid owls keep coming back with those stupid letters."

"Make her talk to you," Sirius said. "Go down to her apartment and make her listen to reason."

"She's an adult," James countered. "If she wanted to see me, she'd just come see me."

"Lily can be pigheaded sometimes, even Alice says so," Sirius said. He paused a moment, uncertain if the sandwich was coming back up or a really large burp. Burping, he sighed. "Look, you're my best friend and a damn sight better of a brother than that other guy…"

"You mean your actual brother, Regulus?" James teased. Sirius shuddered.

"Yeah, that prick," Sirius said. He recollected his thoughts. "I just want you to be happy, and I know that's not going to happen until you and Lily get back together. I say march your skinny arse down to her flat, ring up her apartment, and get your girl back. She and you belong together."

"It's not that easy," James said.

"Yes it is," Sirius insisted. James shook his head.

"No, it's not," James insisted.

"What is the worst that could happen?" Sirius asked. James thought a moment.

"I could find her in bed with another man," James said. Sirius waited. "She could be in bed with Severus Snape, naked and tangled together, screaming in ecstasy, pregnant with his baby."

"Now that you've turned me off of any sex for a while, how likely is that?" Sirius asked. "Lily really wants to get married before she thinks about motherhood. The fact that it didn't work that way with you two is a hiccup of circumstance. As for Lily and Snape, not bloody likely! From what I hear, she hit him in the head with a tray to escape and since he's a Death Eater and she a muggle born, I really can't imagine hearing wedding bells with that one."

"The things you overhear as a dog," James laughed as he shook his head.

"Hey, there's that laugh I haven't heard in a while," Sirius said throwing an arm around James' shoulders. "I say go out there, try to get the girl, and be happy."

"And should she reject me?" James asked. Sirius shook his head.

"It's like when you were worried about asking her to marry you," Sirius said. "If she says no, you back away, lick your wounds, and try again another day."

"What is up with you licking wounds, anyways?" James queried. Sirius shrugged.

"It must be a dog thing," Sirius said. An evil smile crossed his face. "You should see what else I can lick as a dog."

"Ugh! No, thanks," James said shaking his head as he laughed.

It took James several days and a lot of coaching from his friends for him to stand outside her building. He felt a surge of panic, wondering what he was going to encounter in her place. He had never actually been to it, uncertain that he wanted to know what the inside looked like for fear it would haunt him like she did. He took a deep breath and mashed the button to her apartment.

"Come up," Lily called merrily. James heard the door buzz and he jerked it open. It had been part of the plan. Alice and Lily were going to go out for the day, or at least that was what Lily thought when she agreed.

James climbed two stairs at a time, and knocked on the door. Lily called from somewhere back in the back of the apartment. James remained silent as he opened the door and pushed his way in. He looked around her apartment his heart constricting as he saw how she had made this place her home so quickly. The house at Godric's Hollow still looked abandoned, despite living in the house longer than she had been in the apartment.

"Alice, can you come and look at this, please," Lily called. James followed the sound of her voice and stepped behind her in the bedroom. Lily was dressed in panties and a bra, peering under her bed. "I think there is a giant spider under the bed. Do you think it is poisonous?"

"Uh," James said unable to think clearly. Lily glanced over her shoulder, unable to hide her surprise that he was standing there. She straightened up and summoned her robe, tying it around her waist.

"James, I wasn't expecting you," she said quickly.

"I, uh," James stumbled and failed to find the words he was looking for. Lily couldn't help but smile.

"Always one with the pretty words," Lily teased gently. "I'd guess that Alice had a hand in this."

"Yeah, she was one of many," James said. Lily shook her head.

"Always meddling," Lily said. She looked at him. "So I guess that you and I are spending the day together then."

"Yeah," James said. Lily looked at him expectantly.

"Um, unless you want me running around in my robe, I need to get dressed," Lily said. James hesitated and nodded.

"Right," James said. He gestured toward the living room. "I'll just go wait in the living room."

"Help yourself to anything in the refrigerator," Lily said as she closed the door over.

"Is the boyfriend going to be mad that you're going out with me today?" James asked. He cringed, waiting for the answer.

"Nope," Lily said lightly as she dressed. She stepped out of the bedroom, her hair up and her sweater tight around her. "Hey, is it still raining?"

"Yeah," James said. "Cold, wet rain."

"Figures," Lily said. "I was kind of hoping for a snowy Christmas."

"What are you doing for Christmas?" James asked. Lily looked up from where she was tying her shoes.

"I've not decided yet," Lily said. She stood and began pulling on her coat.

"Are you worried about my planning our date?" James asked. Lily laughed lightly.

"You don't exactly have the greatest track record," Lily said. James raised an eye brow at her and smiled slightly.

"Hey, everyone makes a mistake now and again," James said. "And everyone should get a second chance."

"Perhaps," Lily said as she pulled her coat on. "Lead on Mr. Potter."

"Anything you say, Mrs. Potter… er, I mean Ms. Evans," James said blushing. "Sorry, slip of the tongue."

"Hmm," Lily said grinning. "Maybe later."

While they could not erase the history together, they were able to sit and talk as friends. James realized how much he really missed Lily and though she never said it, he had a feeling that she missed him too. They sat, drinking coffee, talking when a guy walked up and was greeted enthusiastically by Lily. The two hugged, chatting with each other. Remembering James was there Lily turned and introduced the two men.

"James, this is David Gray, we lived near each other in the old neighborhood," Lily said. "David, this is James Potter, my… uh… friend."

"Hey, great to meet you," David said cheerfully as he shook the other man's hand. James couldn't help but feel put off by the way that Lily had categorized him. He wasn't just a friend.

"You, too," James forced.

"So, Lily. Did you and Severus tie the knot?" David asked. Lily shook her head.

"No, actually he and I kind of just grew apart," Lily said.

"Really, huh. I wouldn't have every guessed from the way you two went about the summers together," David said. "So then, I guess no children then?"

"Uh, no," Lily said forcing a smile. "You?"

"Yeah, one, a boy named David, naturally," David said. He checked his watch and held up the bag he was holding. "Actually, I should be getting this to him. It was great to see you again! We should get together and catch up properly. You have my number?"

"No," Lily said. David scribbled his number on the napkin and handed it to Lily.

"Melanie is going to be so excited to hear I ran into you," David said laughing. "We all always used to joke that Sev and her were spies of sorts, the way you two were so elusive to your posh boarding school. We always knew it had to be elite if Petunia couldn't get in."

"Yeah, well," Lily said shrugging. David waved and left.

"So, I'm just a friend now?" James asked quietly. Lily looked at him, uncertain.

"I… I don't know what you are to me anymore," Lily said biting her lip a second before she took a sip of her coffee. "I just didn't want to get into details about this, us."

"Ah," James said as if he understood exactly what she was talking about, which he didn't. It didn't seem complicated. They were in love, they had children, and the children hadn't lived. It seemed fairly simple. Still, James kept quiet.

"Um, so… I've had a great night," Lily said as she stood. "But it's getting late, and I don't want to stay out too late."

"Uh, ok," James said as he rose. Lily went to put some money on the table and he shook his head, beating her to it. Lily paused before nodding and putting the money away. She started to walk away but stopped.

"Aren't you going to walk me home?" Lily asked as she looked back at him. James nodded and ran to join her.

The two of them headed out of the coffee shop, not saying much as they walked along the streets. Lily casually glanced in the windows of the shops between the coffee house and her building, the twinkling lights of Christmas all around them. Lily had her arms around her body, trying to starve off the cold that seemed to be stretching between her and James.

"James," Lily started. She stopped, a few blocks from her apartment. She turned to look at him, the two of them standing under a light post waiting for the signal to walk.

"Yeah," James said quietly.

"I don't know why things are so weird between us," Lily said quietly. She looked at him like she wanted to say more, but she remained quiet.

"Me neither," James admitted. He glanced up. "Hey, it's snowing."

"Really?" Lily asked looking up. The rain had stopped and it had begun to snow, huge fat snowflakes. Lily let a smile cross her face as the enormous snowflakes came down in chunks. James laughed at the snow clung to everything, eager to stick. It was coming down in huge chunks of snow, almost as if God was throwing snowballs at them.

"We should make a run for it," James said taking her hand. He took off down the street, holding tight to Lily's hand. She kept up, shaking the snow out of her face. The two carefully ran up the stairs to Lily's flat and were properly coated with snow by the time Lily pulled out her key.

"Snow's a good look for you," Lily said as she reached over and rustled James' hair free of the snow. He loved the way her hand felt in his hair and he was disappointed when she pulled away. He nodded and the two took the stairs to her apartment. Once inside, they removed their coats, and shoes, the soaking wet garments dripping from the quickly melting snow. Lily's apartment was welcoming and warm, and James felt a stab of sadness.

"Ah, well, I probably should go," James said suddenly. Lily looked at him, and for a moment he swore he saw disappointment.

"You don't want to warm up a bit?" Lily asked, offering short of begging. James wanted to stay, he did. He missed her so much, and every moment he could get with her was like a gift. He needed to be with her. She was the breath in his lungs and the beat of his heart.

"Maybe just for a minute," James countered. Lily nodded, thankful.

She excused herself for a moment to change into dry clothes. He paced her living room, looking at the pictures she had up. One picture they had taken together at Hogwarts stood out. It was them near the wishing fountain. They had been in each other's arms, greatly in love. Now they just sat alone on the edge of the fountain, looking quite miserable. It was then he realized it. She was as miserable without him, just as he was without her.

"Hey, I thought you'd like some dry clothes to wear," Lily said reemerging from her room carrying a stack of clothes. He looked over at her, standing there with her hair now down. The waves of her still damp hair seemed to beg him to touch them, her shirt hugged her waist, and her sweat pants tempted him to explore.

"Thanks," James said as he slowly walked over to her. His eyes met hers, and he smiled taking the clothes.

"I can't very well have you catching a cold. No one would ever let me live it down," Lily said quietly, and for a second James thought he heard guilt in her voice.

"I'm a big boy," James teased as headed toward the bathroom.

"Go ahead and change in my room. The bathroom is rather small," Lily said. James headed straight back into her room, closing the door over slightly.

"Where did you find clothes that fit me?" James asked, not certain he wanted to hear that they belonged to her boyfriend. He felt his stomach clench painfully. She was dating, as he should be. What would the new boyfriend think to James wearing his clothes?

"They're yours," Lily said, settling the concept in James' mind. "They ended up in my stuff and I've been meaning to get them back to you. I just guess I couldn't bring myself to."

"Why not?" James asked as he slid the wet clothes off. It felt odd standing there in a room that he knew Lily would stand naked in every night, and not be allowed to share that vision of her.

"I don't know," Lily called as she moved away from the door. He heard her messing around with something somewhere deep within the apartment. The clothes fit as well as ever. James stepped out of her bedroom, his clothes balled up in his arms. She was squatting in front of the small fireplace, poking it with a poker.

"You know," James said as she glanced over at him. "I could do that, if you want."

"Ok," Lily said as she stood and stepped over to him. She held out her arms for his wet clothes and simultaneously traded the wet clothes for the fire poker. She carried them to the washing machine, dropping them in before she measured out the detergent and set the machine to wash.

She sat down on the couch, watching as James poked and prodded the fire until it was roaring and warm. She smiled at him and he hesitated before joining her on the couch. For a few minutes, they sat there silently shoulder to shoulder while they sat there. James didn't think; he just put his arm around Lily. They didn't talk, just remained there, James' arm around Lily and Lily tucked against James.

"I miss you," James said quietly.

"I miss you too," Lily confessed. James tilted her face back a little, looking at her in the eyes.

"I'm not seeing anyone, and not because I can't, but because I don't want to," James confessed. He saw the way she seemed to struggle internally. "I love you Lily, and I intend to get you back. If that means I have to fight off your boyfriend, I'll do it."

"You don't," Lily said almost breathlessly. "I lied to you. I just didn't want you to hurt because of me."

"Because of you?" James asked.

"If I hadn't insisted on going to Africa, things would have been different," Lily said quietly. James felt as if he had been hit by a ton of brick, realization flooding over him.

"You blame yourself for the girls, don't you?" James asked. Lily nodded. He shook his head. "Lily, it was an accident. There was nothing to keep it from happening. They just weren't meant to be. You didn't do this, so you can't blame yourself. Shit just happens."

"James, you don't understand," Lily struggled. She moved to distance herself and James. He held her back, refusing to let her get further than an arm's length from him.

"Explain it to me," James begged.

"I can't," Lily said. He kissed her, despite her tears. He held her face in his hands, his mouth pressed against her mouth. She hesitated a moment before she kissed him back.

"I love you," James told her as he pulled away for a moment. "I will never leave you, and I won't sit back and let you blame yourself for something that was out of our hands."

"So, where do we go from here?" Lily asked.

"I say the bedroom," James said grinning. Lily rolled her eyes. "Hey, I meant to sleep. Why must you always take these things to a dirty place in your mind?"

"I do not," Lily said lightly slapping his shoulder as she climbed up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"Um, to the bedroom," Lily said pointing at the bedroom. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," James said rising and following her. "Look, Lily, I know that things aren't going to be perfect between us, but I am willing to work on it if you are."

"I am," Lily said as she pulled the covers back. The two of them climbed into bed, intending just to sleep next to each other. They were silent, each on their own side. Suddenly James hugged Lily tightly, making her laugh.

"I've just really missed you," James said.

"I've missed you too," Lily laughed as she remained in his arms.

"So, I guess you get to tell your friend from the coffee shop that I am more than just your friend, James Potter," James said. Lily murmured and nodded.

"Yup," Lily sighed. "You're arms feel so safe."

"Lily, I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you," James promised quietly in the dark. "You're my life."


	42. C42: Taming Tom's Hair Tonic

**A/N:** I know it has been FOREVER since I posted. I do apologize. So much has been going on. I moved to a new house in a brand new city last week, so that has been keeping me quite busy. I am glad that so many of you understood letting James and Lily grieve privately for the loss of their daughters. The loss of a child at any age is one that unless you have personally been through it cannot be explained. This is actually a third attempt at this chapter: Anyways… read and review…

**Warning:** No warning for this chapter, whether it needed it or not. Read at your own risk. 

**Disc.:** I created the plot. The characters are just borrowed.

**C42: Taming Tom's Hair Tonic**

Lily heard the snow pelting the windows, waking her. She rolled over to look at the window for a moment before she looked at James who was sleeping next to her. He was asleep, as should she be. She knew she would have to wake up a few hours from then to sneak out of the house at Godric's Hollow before Sirius, Remus, or Peter woke. It seemed foolish, but James and Lily hadn't admitted to any of their friends that they were seeing each other again. It was a secret that no one shared but them.

Lily grinned at James, watching him sleep. He was shirtless, his hair a mess on his head, more so than usual. James' mouth was slightly open, drool seeping out the corner of his mouth. Lily grinned and wiped his mouth with her fingers gently. He mumbled something in his sleep and threw his arm over Lily, pulling her closer. She could feel his breath on her skin and she grinned. She had missed him.

"Mmph," James mumbled softly into her neck. He kissed her sleepily, but didn't wake. Lily felt his hand cross her body and he snuggled against her. Lily could feel her heart swelling with love. She had missed him so long, and she didn't really understand why she had waited long to come back to him or for him to encourage her to come back. She loved him. She had thought that being alone while they mourned was for the best, for both of them, but really they needed each other.

"James," Lily whispered. James mumbled and snuggled closer to her. "James, wake up."

"No, sleep now…" James yawned.

"I love you," Lily said. "I don't want to be apart from you."

"Hmmphs," James said.

"What does that even mean?" Lily asked. James opened one eye and looked at her sleepily.

"I love you too, and I don't want you to ever be apart from me either," James said. Lily raised an eyebrow and laughed quietly.

"All that from that one sound?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," James said sleepily. Lily snuggled closer to him and drifted back to sleep for a few hours. She woke up just before dawn and started to get dress. She looked at him, and she knew she wanted to go back to the mornings that she could wake up there in James' arms. She headed down the stairs, careful to mind the trick step that James' grandfather had installed shortly after installing the same type at Hogwarts. Lily grinned and crept through the door. She stopped to glance at the pile of dishes in the sink, shaking her head. The boys were unable to do dishes, apparently. Every time she went to their house, they had a pile of dishes in the sink.

"So, you're the little elf that's been sneaking in here to do the dishes," Sirius whispered behind her. Lily turned around, her face frozen in surprise.

"W-what are you doing up?" Lily stammered as she placed the last clean dish in the cupboard.

"Just curious to find out why you're sneaking around," Sirius said smirking.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily lied. Sirius raised an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," mimicked Sirius. Lily gave him a dirty look. "I don't know why you insist on lying to me. You're not very good at it and frankly, I have to say I don't understand what the big deal is. You and James love each other, and you two belong together."

"We're just taking things slow," Lily admitted slowly.

"Hm," Sirius said grinning.

"What?" Lily asked.

"You're coming for Christmas dinner at the Potters, aren't you?" Sirius asked. Lily shrugged as she closed the cabinet.

"I was invited," Lily said. She glanced at him. "I hadn't decided yet."

"It would make James very happy," Sirius said. Lily nodded.

"I want to make him very happy, but I don't want anything bad to happen again," Lily said quietly as she sat down at the table. Sirius conjured a plate of peanut butter and walnut cookies and two glasses and sat down across from her. "It seems like anytime I get close to someone, bad things happen to them."

"Like?" Sirius asked.

"Um, Severus and I were really good friends, but the closer we got, the more the Dark Lord seemed to want him," Lily said quietly. She focused on the cookie she was breaking into pieces. "Severus surrendered his freedom to protect me."

"It was his choice," Sirius said quietly in response. Lily glanced up at him.

"I couldn't expect you to understand," Lily said as she looked away. "It's like that same thing with James. James was fine until I started dating him. Then he was poisoned by Severus and Narcissa, sought after, getting with every girl possible, and then the whole thing with the babies."

Lily's voice cracked on the word 'babies' and Sirius continued to watch her carefully. She took a shaky breath before she started eating the cookie, broken piece by broken piece. Deliberately, she chewed the cookie and picked the walnuts out of the remaining cookies, eating them one by one. It wasn't exactly a healthy breakfast, but as the sun started to rise on the horizon, it was welcomed. Sirius watched her for a minute.

"The greatest thing you have ever done for James was give him a chance," Sirius said quietly. He smiled, not one of his trade mark smirks that he tossed carelessly to everyone but one of his genuine smiles that he rarely shared. "Everything bad that happened wasn't because you were with any one, him or anyone else. The bad stuff just happened. Some of it was Lord Voldemort's fault, but some of it was just the way it is. Your daughters' deaths were just an accident, a sick twist of fate. You have to stop blaming yourself."

"If I hadn't insisted!" Lily protested.

"Everything happens for a reason, Lils, and it's not always up to us to understand," Sirius said patting her hand. "I've seen how miserable you've been since they died, and also how happy you've been since you and James came back together. Don't let fear of what could happen keep you from really living. Everything that you are is because of your experiences, and some of them have been pretty shitty, but you can't let a few really bad days ruin what you could have with James."

"Damn," Lily said quietly as she looked at him. "When did you get so philosophical?"

"I read Madame Karma's Way of Life," Sirius said pointing at a thick book buried under a stack of papers on the table.

"You read?" Lily teased incredulously. Sirius laughed and made a rude gesture to her.

"Of course I read," Sirius said. "I had to do something while I was waiting around for stuff to happen."

"Why were you following me?" Lily asked.

"James was really worried about you, but not enough to hunt you down and drag you back," Sirius said. He hesitated and shook his head. "No, actually he did worry about you that much, but still he wanted to give you the space you wanted. James is my best friend, and I will do anything for him. He wasn't sleeping well, so I started to follow you and assure him that you were alright."

"I felt like someone was watching me," Lily admitted.

"Yeah, I tried not to be obtrusive, but you know subtly is not my forte," Sirius said grinning. Lily nodded and glanced down at the cookies.

"I ate most of them," Lily confessed. Sirius looked down at them.

"Don't worry about that," Sirius said. "I would have eaten them if you hadn't. You saved me all of those empty calories, Lily."

"Like I needed them," Lily said as she stood. She pushed the untouched glass of milk towards Sirius. "I'm lactose intolerant."

"Life sucks for you," Sirius said. "Allergic to chocolate and milk tearing your stomach up."

"I drink soy milk," Lily said shrugging. She smiled and gathered her purse and jacket. She took her keys. She looked at him. "I'll think about coming to Christmas at the Potters."

"You'd better be there, Lils, or I'll show up on your doorstep and shed all over your flat," Sirius threatened good naturedly.

"Good to know," Lily laughed as she headed out the door.

"Don't worry," Sirius called. "I won't tell anyone about this."

"You letting me eat half a dozen cookies?" Lily asked. Sirius laughed and nodded. Lily closed the door behind her as she left. Apparation made her travels home quick and she headed to her flat, checking her messages as she headed to the showers. She went back and forth several times during the morning, trying to decide whether or not she would attend James' parents' big Christmas party. On one hand, she wanted to be with him and her friends. On the other, she wasn't sure that she would be welcome in the Potter house.

"You're being stupid," Lily mumbled to herself as she looked in the mirror at her reflection. She had chosen a simple green dress with a modest skirt length and a gently sloping neckline. She didn't want to increase the thought that she was some loose floozy.

Lily smiled and pulled off the dress, throwing on her favorite sweats. One thing her mother always taught her was to never show up anywhere like a party empty handed. She wasn't sure that the humble baked goods of a muggle born witch, using ancient methods such as actually using a bit of arm strength to stir would be welcomed by someone like Mrs. Potter, but Lily wanted to bring something her great grandmother used to make.

Pulling out a worn book, Lily flipped through to her great grandmother's handwritten recipe for Vanilla Cake. Finding it easily, Lily touched the parchment, aged yellow with time. The parchment was no longer flat, rippled in spots that had swollen with liquid once dripped upon the page. It smelled of vanilla and was browned in those spots. Lily had baked this cake a million times with her mother, her grandmother, and at one time when she was very young, her great grandmother. Always using the same recipe, and though it was committed to heart, it wasn't baking Great Grandma Georgina's Famous Vanilla Cake unless the recipe was out.

"Hm, oven temperature," Lily said as she set the temperature. She had never made the cake on her own, and she was eager to see how wonderful it would be to one day share in the tradition of baking with her daughter. She smiled, at the thought of one day having more children. She hoped that one day wouldn't be too terribly long from now.

It was obvious that something had gone terribly wrong with Lily's cooking. She pulled out a very burnt cake, shaking her head. She ran over the whole thing, not understand where she had gone wrong. She glanced at the time: 40 minutes. She made a face and shook her head.

"Damn Fahrenheit temperatures," Lily swore and quickly thought of the conversion to the more logical Celsius measurements. She started again, using her wand to clear the spring-loaded pan. "It's not cheating if I use magic just to clear the pan and the air."

Lily's second attempt was a little lopsided, but smelled a whole lot better. She grinned as she placed the cake on one of her better plates, drizzled some homemade vanilla icing. She was very proud of her second attempt at the cake. She looked at her wall clock, thinking she should definitely get dressed and start heading to the Potters.

Lily pulled her boots on over her dress shoes, and slipped her jacket on. She pulled her scarf around her neck and pulled her wooly hat on her head. She glanced out the window of her flat to see how heavily the snow was coming down. She hoped that the snow wouldn't hinder her ability to take the Knight Bus to the Potter house. Lily stepped out of her building and was drenched in wet, heavy snow. She stuck out her wand and with a bang, the violently purple Knight Bus lurched to a stop in front of her.

The ride was one of the more unusual for Lily, who really thought it was quite odd to ride around in a triple decker bus with overstuffed arm chairs instead of seats and an ornate chandelier swinging haphazardly from the ceiling. Lily held tight to her cake while Ernie, the nearly blind driver, drove, spinning the wheel left and right, shifting the contents of the purple bus. It stopped with a lurch at the gates to the Potter's house.

Lily barely stepped free of the bus before it took off again. The snow wasn't nearly as wet now, more fluffy and perfect, though it was thick and the snow had piled up to midway up Lily's calves. She trudged up the drive way to the stone steps of the house. She hesitated before ringing the bell. Mrs. Potter opened the door, and she looked at Lily for a moment.

"Lily," Mrs. Potter said grinning as she ushered Lily into the house. She took the cake, happily. Lily began to disrobe from her winter wear. "I am so happy that you came. James will be thrilled."

"Thank you for inviting me," Lily said as a maid apparated to their spot and began to take Lily's shedding winter wear.

"You're family," Mrs. Potter said genuinely as she wrapped her arms around Lily tightly. "How could I not?"

"Oh, uh, I…" Lily said. She was at a loss for words. Mrs. Potter held her at arm's length and smiled at her as she directed Lily towards the large living room. Lily glanced at the large tree in the corner, tall and fragrant of every Christmas memory that Lily had. The room was full of people, some Lily knew only from their pictures in the Daily Prophet like Phil Perkins, the current minister of magic, and his rumored predecessor, Cornelius Fudge. Lily saw Sirius first, standing in the middle of a large group of girls who were giggling madly.

"Lils, hey!" Sirius called waving as he saw her. He handed his drink to a pretty brunette and pushed his way through the girls.

"Sirius, hi," Lily said.

"I'm glad you decided to come. James'll be so thrilled!" Sirius said grinning as he threw his arm around her shoulders. "Mother Potter, if you don't mind, I'll take her from here."

"Be my guest, Sirius. Lord knows you would anyways," Mrs. Potter said as she waved the two off. Sirius grinned and directed Lily towards a Remus and Peter, who were heading down the stairs.

"Where's James?" Sirius asked glancing up the stairs.

"Uh, well…" Remus said glancing up the stairs. "He's having a hair issue. He's trying to tame it."

"Oh, lord," Lily said rolling her eyes. She headed up the stairs two at a time, knowing that James' attempt to tame his hair was futile. It was like trying to box sunshine or bag wind. In theory, it was a great idea but not in practice. Lily glanced at Sirius. "Which one is his?"

"The green door on the left," Sirius said from the top of the stairs where he had stopped. He nodded and gestured for her to continue on without him.

"James?" Lily asked as she knocked on his door. The door slowly opened and James' face peered out at her.

"I don't want you to see my hair like this," James said. Lily glanced up at his hair and stifled a laugh. It looked fake, like a plastic mold of hair on his head, shiny brown and solid.

"You know, I can see your hair right now," Lily commented as she pushed into his room. He grinned and shrugged, stepping aside. "Why'd you do this?"

"I thought you'd like my hair like this," James said.

"I like your hair the way it is," Lily said. She shook her head. "You'd never have to change for me, James Potter."

"There is one thing I'd like to change for you," James said quietly. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"And that would be?" Lily asked hesitantly. James grinned.

"First, I have to get this Taming Tom's Hair Tonic washed out of my hair," James said laughing. Lily followed him in the bathroom and turned the tap on as he started to rinse the tonic out of his hair. Lily held a towel for him while he scrubbed his hair. He stood up, water racing down his neck and dampening his undershirt. Lily laughed and wrapped the towel around his shoulder.

"You have no idea how much I prefer you hair like this," Lily said smiling at him. She kissed him on the cheek. "I'll be downstairs."

"No, wait," James said shaking his head. "I want to give you something."

"Really?" Lily asked. She made a face. "Like a present, because we both decided that we weren't really good about giving each other gifts."

"What, didn't you like the socks last year?" James asked suddenly as he pulled on his dress shirt. Lily back peddled.

"Oh, no I loved the socks," Lily said quickly. She stepped over towards James and began buttoning his shirt for him. James tucked his shirt in himself and pulled on his dress coat.

"Anyways, this isn't really a gift," James said slowly as he grinned.

"Hmm…" Lily murmured as James bent his head down and kissed her rather intensely.

"Reach into my left pocket, Lily," James breathed into her ear as his mouth left hers and splayed little kisses along her jaw line and neck. He continued to kiss her as he felt her hand dip into his pocket. She giggled at his kisses as she stepped back a bit.

"What is this, James?" Lily asked curiously as she took a look at the object in her hand.

"My gift of me to you," James said quietly. She looked at him curiously.

"Your gift of you to me?" Lily asked slowly.

"When I woke up this morning and you were gone, I realized that I hated you not being there. It made me think of this object I picked up back in June for you. I should have given it to you the moment I saw you," James said seriously. "So, I am offering you all of me forever if you will have me."

"I… I… I…" stammered Lily as she looked at the box in her hand. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes," James said as he dipped down, clutching her hand in his. "I never want to be apart from you ever, Lily. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side. So, Lily. Will you marry me?"

"This is so… sudden…" Lily said looking at the box.

"Not so much," James laughed quietly, nervous. "I've loved you forever. I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife. I want to raise a family with you."

"Does Sirius know?" Lily asked. James made a face.

"About what?" James asked.

"You asking me? He seemed really insistent that I come tonight," Lily asked as James continued to kneel in front of her.

"Actually, up until you pushed your way into my room, it wasn't on the agenda," James replied. He shrugged. "I was going to ask you to marry me while we were on our trip, but then so much happened and the time was never right. So, I held off. I was going to wait until New Years or Valentine's Day, but this morning made me realize that would be too long for me to wait and ask you."

"I see," Lily said. She looked at him. "Yes."

"I mean, I know we said that we were going to take it slow, but I don't want to wait forever," James said.

"Yes, James," Lily said looking at him.

"We love each other," James said distractedly. "I know you love me as much as I love you, after all, and I know we were meant to be together."

"Jesus, James," Lily said covering his mouth with her hand. "Listen to me. I am telling you yes. I want to be your wife and I want us to get married."

"But?" James said with his voice muffled by her hand.

"No buts about it," Lily said. "You've asked me and I am telling you yes."

James pulled her hand away from his mouth and a very pleased smile crossed his face. He stood and threw his arms around her tightly. She pulled back from him a minute to wipe her eyes, tears of happiness spilling down her face. She laughed as he glanced away, hiding his own un-manly tears. She threw her arms around him, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you so much, James," Lily giggled as he nuzzled her neck.

"I love you, too, Lils," James said as he pulled back a bit. "I hope you like the ring. It was my great grandmother's ring."

Lily looked at the very expensive looking ring he held before her, his arm still around her. Lily was speechless. She just looked at him, nodding, and he freed it of its box. James slid it on her finger, and it fit perfectly, as if the ring was made for Lily's hand. He couldn't suppress his grin. Lily Evans agreed to be his wife. He was the happiest man alive.


	43. Every Good Thing Must End

**A/N:** Ok, so I have decided that the last chapter really was a great stopping point for this story… after all, we know what happens next: they get married, they have a baby (Harry), and they die. So you might wonder what this chapter thing is all about then (aside from me telling you that the last chapter was the end of it). This is what we would call the credits rolling chapter… as in all the thanks to various people and inclusion of stuff that didn't make it (including the 2 attempts on chapter 43, before I was enlightened). So read, but don't feel the need to review… 

Don't worry, this will not be my final fan fiction. But with spring break coming up (and remember I have 4 children), I will be busy entertaining them and taking retakes on some of my exams…

Be safe!

**Special thanks to:** All my readers and reviewers, especially those who had constructive criticism for me. A very special thanks to Alexandra (figure you know who you are without me blasting your screen name on here).

So, without further ado…

The scenes that just didn't quite make the cut: They are titled from where they originated (if I remember… lol):

**Halloween Festival  
**

James was having the time of his life, really. Halloween was his favorite day of the year, more than Christmas, his birthday, or even Summer holiday. The air was crisp and clear with a bright blue sky. There was nothing but happiness in the air, cheering and laughing. Sirius shoved a huge pink cloud into James hand.

"I'm totally addicted to this stuff," Sirius said with his mouth full of cotton candy. "It is the best muggle invention ever."

"It's good," James said nodding. "I tasted it last night."

"Good thing I didn't have anything to do with the food," Sirius said nodding. "All of it is so great."

"Yeah," James said. He laughed as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "It's not enough to make Lily admit that she loves me, and I know that she does. I can see it when she thinks I'm not looking, but it is a step, you know. All in the right direction."

"The only thing I hate are these period costumes, but at least it gives me a little something to gander at," Sirius said as a group of six year girls walked by, abundant in cleavage. "I would have been well served back then."

"Easy boy," James laughed. "You've got just a bit more time left before the terms over with and you can make up for lost time."

"I count the days," Sirius said. He grinned at James. "Since I can't partake, you have to make up for it for me. Twice as long in the kissing confessionals, ok?"

"No, Sirius, come on," James said as he put up his hands in defeat. "How about a day pass?"

"Nope, and look. This one isn't occupied," Sirius said as he pushed an eager looking first year boy out of the way. With a swift push, James was enveloped in darkness. He was not alone.

"Welcome to the kissing confessional, a replica of confessional booths priest used in medieval times," an automated voice said as soon as the door was shut.

"You'd better be a girl," James warned as a shadowy figure stepped out from behind the velvet curtain.

"Don't worry, I am," a voice whispered in his ear.

James hesitated, not certain that he wanted to kiss some strange girl in a dark closet sized tomb, but the excitement of the whole thing crackled in the air and she made the first mood. James found her mouth easily, and she was warm and welcoming to his exploration of said mouth. He wrapped his arms around her, his fingers resting lightly on her sides. She melted in his arms, her breathing as rapid as his. He felt himself leaning into her, and she in return leaned back. He had never kissed a girl with such passion, and never that deeply.

"Shift change," a voice called from the second door as they knocked. The girl pulled away briefly.

"That was the best kiss I've ever had," she whispered in his ear. He shivered, quite pleased. She pressed her lips to his cheek and retreated behind the curtain. James hesitated before trying to head through it but there must have had a spell because James wasn't able to go through it. James jerked open the booth and looked around.

"Where is she?" James asked Sirius. Sirius frowned.

"Where is who?" Sirius asked.

"The girl, the girl who was in here?" James asked. Sirius shrugged.

"The shift change happens on the opposite side to hide the identity of those inside. Why?" Sirius asked.

"I just kissed the most amazing girl," James said. "Well, she kissed me."

"Really?" Alice asked with a smirk. She had her arms crossed against her breast, trying to hide what the dress showed of them. "Because I know who you kissed in the booth."

"Who?" James demanded. Alice grinned.

"You'll know who you kissed when you kiss her again," Alice said smugly. "Just walk around and kiss all of the seventh year girls, if you want to find out."

"Can't you just tell me?" James asked.

"What fun would that be?" Alice asked as she laughed. James stepped forward, his mouth puckered and Alice put her hand up, her face reflecting her disgust.

"Not me, you doofus! I was standing out here with Sirius the entire time you were in there. Something tells me you should stick to single seventh year girls," Alice teased. She saw Frank and waved. "Have fun."

"I hate girls sometimes," James grumbled as he looked around. There was something like twenty seventh year girls. He sat down on a bench.

"Twenty, wow," Sirius said. He sat down next to James. "Well, count Alice out, so that is nineteen, and Charlotte Pinkerton, she plays for the other team with a Hufflepuff, Lesley Tatum. So, that's seventeen. Was she tall or short?"

"Shorter than me by at least four inches," James said as he looked from face to face of the girls that passed him.

"So that takes out Heather, Amanda, and Tina. The three of them make you look short," Sirius laughed.

"It was me, you dork," a voice whispered in his ear. James spun around to see Lily standing there grinning.

"You kissed me," James said.

"Yeah, I did," Lily said shrugging. She grinned. "It doesn't change anything."

"Yes, it does," James said smugly. "You really kissed me. You said it was the best you ever had."

"I've only kissed three guys, James, you and two others," Lily said. "It wouldn't take much for you to be the best I have ever had."

**The Date Between Lily and James**

Lily waited, standing rather impatiently at the bottom of the stairs to the boys' dormitory. She didn't like to admit it, but she had been looking forward to this day for weeks. She looked down at her clothes, wondering if she was dress appropriately. You could never tell well that sneaky little James Potter had up his sleeve when he had his mind set to something. Sighing, she flopped down into the chair closest to the stairs, her legs dangling over the arm rest. He had asked her to meet him here at noon, for a lunch date in Hogsmead. It was now nearly one, and she was starving. If he forgot about their date, he could forget any future dates with her.

"He's coming," Remus said as he strolled down the stairs. Lily sighed, crossing her arm across her stomach. Remus took a seat in a chair near the one Lily was lazing in, not quite a relaxed looking.

"What's taking so long?" Lily asked Remus. Remus grinned.

"He's trying to tame his hair," Remus said. Lily shook her head and stood.

"I'd have to wait an eternity for that," Lily said as she climbed the stairs to the boys' dorm room. She knocked once and entered. She froze, a laughter caught in her throat. Sirius was trying to help James tame his hair with Taming Tom's Hair Tonic. The room smelled of shoe polish and rubbing alcohol from the nearly empty bottle.

"Hey," Sirius grunted at her as he tried to pull the comb through James' hair. Lily shook her head.

"What in the world are you doing?" Lily asked. He turned to glance at her but was unable to move away from the direction Sirius was tugging the comb.

"I just wanted today to be perfect," James said. Lily laughed.

"You are such a girl!" She said as she headed over to them. She lifted the bottle and sniffed it, determining it was one of the sources for the interesting aroma in their room. "Come here, and let's see if we can get this straightened out."

Lily headed to their washroom, turning the sink on so that warm water filled the basin. James stood there, a whole six inches taller than her.

**This is Chapter 27's first attempt where Lily is trying to find away to undo what Severus has done to James. I like some of it, but I think that there is a better way to go about it.**

Lily was in the library long after hours and had fallen asleep face down in a book from the restricted section of the library. She had been working day and night, during meals and between classes to find something, anything, that could help right the wrongs of Severus Snape. She was constantly reminding herself that James was not himself. He wouldn't do some of the things he was doing now.

Sirius and Remus helped her out when they could, but they spent a lot of the time trying to seclude James from the female population of Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. He had gone from a respectable guy to fulfilling many of the girls' dreams. Lily turned her head anytime she came across James, as he was always literally attached to someone at the mouth or hip. It ate her up inside. Remus and Sirius were a source of comfort to her during this trying time.

"Hold up, wait a minute," James said sternly. Lily glanced up at Sirius hopefully. James strolled to where Lily was on her back on the library table.

"Problem?" Sirius asked hopefully as he subconsciously squeezed Lily's knee as it rested against his hip.

"Yeah, there's a problem," James said. He jerked Sirius' cloak off the chair and balled it up. Without warning, he practically forced it under Lily's head. "There, all better. Don't forget to clean up when you're done. No one likes a sticky library table."

**C37: Neighbors**

Lily had been awakened from a dream. She was so certain that she had heard her friend, Remus, which she lay there a moment, straining to listen. She was met only with the noise on their apparently new and rowdy neighbors in room eight-oh-four. Sighing, Lily rolled to her side, remembering the book had said that it would provide optimal blood flow to the babies. Lily's heart skipped a beat. She was having James' babies. James or not, these babies were the most important people in her life.

"You awake?" Alice asked in a sleepy voice.

"How can I not be?" Lily murmured as the people next door seemed to be wrestling around in the room. Half asleep, Frank threw a shoe at the wall, the thump reverberating against the wall. The people in the next room thumped back.

"Figures," Frank growled as he pulled his covers over his head. The three of them tried to catch some sleep, but were unable to now that they were awake. Lily rolled over and flicked her wand, the pathetic sparks dribbling from the tip.

"At least they're ok, wherever they are," Lily said quietly.

"That's something, for sure," Alice said. Lily sighed and climbed out of bed. She struggled for a minute, trying to pull her jeans on. Sighing, she threw them aside and pulled on her favorite sundress.

"Do you want me to go get breakfast?" Lily asked quietly.

"Nah, I think Frank and I are going to sleep in a bit," Alice said. She glanced at Lily. "None of your clothes are going to fit much longer. You may want to think about going to get some."

"Eh, yeah," Lily said shrugging. Even the sundress was snug in her stomach. "If James shows up, put him in some sort of danger so our wands work and I can blast him, will you?"

"Sure," Alice said laughing as she rolled back over.

Lily headed out the room just as the door to 804 closed. She made a face at the door, able to make out what sounded like a lot of horse playing and rowdiness. She glanced at the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door and an evil smirk crossed her face. She reached into her purse and pulled out a black marker. She scribbled out the 'Not' so the sign now said 'Do Disturb'. Satisfied, she headed to the elevators and rode it down to the ground level.

"Are there any messages for room eight-oh-three?" Lily asked as she stopped at the desk. The clerk checked the box.

"No, ma'am," he said. Lily couldn't help but be disappointed. James couldn't even leave word that he wasn't coming.

"Thanks," Lily said as she turned to walk away. She turned back. "The people in room eight-oh-four are being incredibly loud and destructive. Just thought that you'd like to know."

"We'll check into it," the clerk said.

"Oh, and we'll be staying another night," Lily said quickly. "In hopes that the rest of our group will finally make it."

"Yes, ma'am," the clerk said. "I'll make note of it."

Lily had decided that maybe she should get some clothes for herself. She spent the better part of the morning at a nearby mall, trying on clothes and discarding over half of them. She wasn't quite big enough for maternity clothes. She settled on a few pieces of regular clothes in a size or two larger than she'd normally wear. She was quite satisfied with what she chose and looked to wearing them. Lucky for her, the dresses she chose camouflaged the plumpness of her belly. If she grew slowly enough, it would be a while before James would notice that something was different, if he noticed at all.

She laughed. He wasn't the most observant person. She knew it was the down fall of many men, not picking up changes in their significant other's appearance. Lily didn't mind, and she teetered between being terrified to tell James and being excited. If she only knew for certain that he wasn't going to stroke out when she told him.

Lily carried her bags out to the car. She stood outside of her car, searching for her key. She looked around madly for them, wondering where she could have possibly put them. She glanced in the car, frowning. She hit the window. The keys dangled from the steering column. She hit the window again, swearing loudly. A woman with a small child glared at her for the foul word that Lily used.

"Problem?" A man's voice asked from behind her. Lily turned around quickly, not expecting to hear that cold, cruel voice come from a relatively normal looking man.

"Do I know you?" Lily asked slowly. She could feel her wand vibrate slightly. Somebody in their group was in trouble.

"I am sure you have heard of me," he said quietly. "I am Lord Voldemort." Lily swallowed nervously. Someone in their group was in trouble. That someone was Lily.

"Our neighbors are way too loud," Frank grumbled. He pulled the covers over his head. "I can't focus on anything when they are tearing up stuff."

"Too much like Hogwarts, huh?" Alice taunted. He laughed.

"A bit, yeah," Frank said. Alice pulled herself out of bed.

"I'll go shout at them," Alice said. Frank tried to pull her back in the bed.

"I can't have people thinking I send my woman out to fight the noisy people in the world for me," Frank said. Alice laughed.

"Then you'll go shout at them?" Alice asked.

"Uh-uh, no, not going to happen," Frank said. Alice sighed and headed out the door. She walked next door and rapt loudly on the door.

"It says 'Do Not Disturb'," a voice shouted through the door. Alice looked down at the little sign and snickered.

"Actually, it says 'Do Disturb'. Someone has scribbled the 'not' out," Alice shouted through the door.

"What?!" the voice exclaimed, flinging the door open. Alice looked at Sirius and Sirius looked at Alice, frozen in shock. Alice screamed loudly and flung her arms around Sirius' neck. Frank flew out of his room in boxer shorts and an umbrella. Alice was jumping up and down, squeezing Sirius around the neck tightly.

"Alice, let go," Sirius begged. He shot a look at Frank. "Call off your wife, Frank."

"I'm just so excited!" Alice said as she released him. "Lily's going to be so stoked."

"Where's Lily?" James asked as he looked at Alice. He was leaning against the bathroom door frame, freshly shaven, wand loosely in his hand.

"Er, she's out shopping," Alice said quickly. "She should be back soon."

"You shouldn't be waving your wand around like that," Peter warned. Alice pulled her wand.

"They don't work. See?" Alice said as she flicked her wand. Peter went flying backwards.

"I thought that didn't work," Sirius said laughing as Peter pulled himself up off the floor. Alice looked deadly serious.

"They aren't unless… unless one of us is in danger," Alice said. She cried out. "Lily must be in trouble. We have to go find her."

Lily had her wand drawn, pointing at the man that would one day look like a monster, the monster that would hunt her son. She made her voice even and calm as she spoke to him, but inside she was trembling and shaking. She worried about the babies. She knew Lord Voldemort's rumored activities, the deaths.

"What do you want with me?" Lily asked. "I'm just a Mudblood."

"I agree," Lord Voldemort said as he looked at her casually. He had his wand loosely at his side. His face was pallid, cheeks thin, his hair a little longer than it had been in his youth. He let his eyes slide the length of her body. "I can see what he sees in you."

"Who?" Lily asked reflexively.

"Severus Snape, of course," Lord Voldemort said. He stepped forward. "The boy is quite taken with you. So much so, he's asked me to bring you under my protection."

"What?" Lily asked as she backed away.

"I told Severus that I'd not target you and you alone," Lord Voldemort said. "If I was here to kill you, you would have been dead by now. I have no qualms about killing people with their back to me."

"I'm not about to come with you," Lily said as she raised her wand. Lord Voldemort was within arm's reach.

"You should think about this," Lord Voldemort said as his hand touched her. His hand rested on her stomach. "Ah, this I bet Severus does not know." Lily slapped his hand away.

"I'm not coming with you anywhere, and I don't want your favor," Lily said. He laughed; his laughter cold and mirthless.

"He said that you were a bit of a spitfire," he said as he shook off her assault on his hand. "I was promised a soldier by the Black family, brothers Regulus and Sirius. I intend to get my soldiers, add to my Death Eaters. Where is Sirius Black?"

"I don't know," Lily said shaking her head.

"Are you telling me the truth?" Lord Voldemort taunted. Lily backed away a bit more.

"Why would I lie?" Lily asked. He smiled a true and honest smile.

"You are mighty bold," said he. "You don't even seem to be flustered that you are standing in a parking lot with the greatest Dark Lord of all time."

"Why should I be?" Lily said. "I'm not afraid of death."

"I'm not going to kill you," Lord Voldemort said. He reached for her stomach again. "If I don't find Sirius, I'd be happy to raise this one to be my soldier."

"They are the children of a Mudblood. What worth could my children be of yours?" Lily asked.

"Did you know my father was a filthy muggle?" Lord Voldemort said. "I, the heir of Slytherin, am a half blood. Much like your dear Severus."

"Then why hunt those less than pure blooded?" Lily asked.

"Why not?" Lord Voldemort countered. Lily turned and apparated back to the hotel. She knew that he wouldn't follow. She bit her lip, glancing around to make sure she hadn't been seen. She was in a broom closet. Lily stepped out of the closet.

Lily walked up to the elevator and pushed the button, the door sliding open slowly. She stepped onto the elevator, her hands shaking as she pressed the button. She didn't realize she had started crying. She looked at her reflection in the walls of the elevator, wiping her eyes with her hand. When the elevator opened, Lily ran straight into her room and locked herself in the bathroom.

She flicked her wand quickly at the faucets, the water turning on hot and fast. She took a deep breath, and turned the water from hot to warm. She had to remember that it can't be about her anymore, and hot water wasn't good for her babies. Lily jerked off the dress and looked at her body in the mirror. She was already big in her eyes, the rounding pooch of a pregnant belly. Her hand caressed the flesh slightly. Nine weeks, she was nine weeks pregnant with James' twins. She stepped under the water and let the warmth ease her muscles, washing away the tension she felt.

"Lily!" Alice shouted as she blasted the door off the bathroom door. Lily was just nearly finished with her shower. She had calmed a lot from her brief encounter with Lord Voldemort himself.

"Oh, hey Alice," Lily said a she poked her head out of the shower curtain.

"Don't you 'Oh, hey Alice' me," Alice said angrily. "What happened? The charm was broken."

"Oh, I just ran into Lord Voldemort at the mall," Lily said casually. She pointed at the bag on the floor. "I got some really cute outfits."

"You're joking, right?" Alice demanded.

"No, they were on sale," Lily said as she turned off the water. She wrapped her towel around her body and stepped out of the shower.

"No, about Lord Voldemort," Alice said.

"Oh, yeah," Lily said. "We ran into each other in the parking lot. He wants to put me in protective custody. Apparently Severus still holds me rather dear, despite my sabotage. Maybe I should cleave to Severus, since James still hasn't graced me with his presence."

"Oh, get dressed really quick," Alice said excitedly. "I want you to see something."

Lily stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in one of her new outfits. She glanced up at the room to see the Marauders. Lily screamed and rushed James, despite herself. She wrapped her arms around him, more excited about seeing him than she really ever thought that she could feel.

"I'm pregnant," Lily blurted out. "It's twins, and Voldemort and I had a chat in the parking lot at the mall."

James stared at her wordlessly.

**C41: Godric's Hollow**

The house that James' grandparents had left him in Godric's Hollow was a cute house with a beautiful garden. He had hoped to make it home for himself, Lily, and the girls. With the girls gone, he felt as if the house was a bit vacant. It was strange, how the girls never even had anything in the house, there were no memories there of them, and yet without them the house seemed cold and empty. James had moved into the house, taking up residence in the master suite. He had invited Lily to join him, but she had decided that perhaps she needed to be alone.

Everyone had tried to discourage her but she had insisted and instead rented a little flat not too far from Kings' Crossing. Her choice of location baffled them, but no one said anything once she decided to live in the flat alone. James had helped her move in, set up the flat, and then walked out, struggling with the urge to drag her back to the home he had set up in his heart for them. He had grown used to waking up with Lily in his arms, and the first morning he woke up alone in his bed, he cried.

He wasn't the only one who was crying more than usual. Lily was spending many nights alone, crying into her pillows as she went through the hormonal roller coaster of the end of pregnancy. Her breast swelled and her milk came in, though there were no babies to relieve the discomfort of her engorged breasts. Her stomach, once round and firm, felt deflated and flabby, empty without the twins. What she missed most were the nights she played with them, poking and prodding them while they kicked, punched and somersaulted from within. Every night she was met with stillness.

Three months had passed for both of them, and they hadn't seen each other. It wasn't because James hadn't wanted to see her. He had.

**C42:**

Lily couldn't remember a happier time in her life. She could feel James' rhythmic breath on her face as he slept. She looked at him in the waning moon light. His glasses were on the bedside table, his hair disheveled or at least it looked that it was more disheveled than usual. She glanced at the clock, it was creeping close to dawn, and she would need to be leaving soon. She'd come back tonight, or James would come to her place.

Though they knew their friends knew that they were seeing each other, they hadn't exactly come out and said that they were back together. They wanted to take thing slows, or at least that was the story they were giving each other.

**C43:**

C43:

Lily and James glanced at each other with a look as Mrs. Potter splayed out fabric swatches and china patterns. The two of them had been excited to tell everyone that they were getting married. Mrs. Potter was thrilled as any one, eager to plan the perfect wedding. James and Lily had been visiting Mrs. Potter several times a week, agreeing that it was better to meet Mrs. Potter for wedding plans at the spotless Potter Manor than at Godric's Hollow, which was quickly filling to the rafters with well wishing friends on their way through.

Mrs. Potter had taken control of the wedding plans, eager to have the two lovely children tie the knot before either one of them did anything stupid. She had a motherly wisdom about her, and she knew that girls could be pigheaded sometimes, just like boys did stupidly annoying stuff all the time. It was Mrs. Potter that thought a short engagement with a spring wedding was just what James and Lily needed. She had never met two more perfect-for-each-other couple, sans her and Mr. Potter themselves.

"James, really," Lily said frustrated as James picked out some hideous gold and ecru colored swatch.

"Cream looks good on you," James said.

"Be that as it may, this is for our chairs, not my dress," Lily griped.

"Well, sorry!" James replied.

"If you're not going to pay attention," Lily started.

"Don't talk to me about paying attention," James grumbled under his breath. Lily shot him a dirty look and Mrs. Potter raised an eyebrow.

"Shall I leave you two alone for a moment?" Mrs. Potter asked. She glanced at the two pouting children sitting before her. Both shook their heads.

"Sorry," Lily said quietly as she glanced back at the fabric. "Neither of us got much sleep last night."

"The full moon," James explained needlessly. Mrs. Potter looked at her son and his fiancé sympathetically.

"That and Sirius," Lily said. It was James' turn to give Lily a dirty look. She looked at him innocently and shrugged. "What? It's not a secret."

"What's up with Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked curiously.

"Nothing much," James said.

"Sirius moved out," Lily tattled. "James hasn't been taking it very well."

"That's an understatement," James muttered under his breath.

"Well, James, it makes sense that he would," Mrs. Potter said gently. "Sirius realized that you and Lily are getting married and will be starting a family. He didn't want to get underfoot."

"See, that's what I said!" Lily said quickly. Mrs. Potter turned to Lily.

"Lily, you have to realize how hard this is for James. He and Sirius had been together, inseparable since they became friends first year. For James, this is as traumatic as losing a brother," Mrs. Potter explained gently.

"Or an arm," James grumbled. Lily didn't reply.

"You two are going through some pretty stressful times," Mrs. Potter said. "It will calm down after the two of you are properly wed."

"If we make it to the wedding in one piece," James said quietly. Lily looked away quickly from Mrs. Potter's searching eyes. They had been bickering a lot since Sirius left, mainly because James had a hard time living apart from the man. James had grown used to always having his best friend as his beck and call, and now they might as well have been generations apart. None of them had even discussed Sirius's moving out, but after Remus and Peter both moved on, Sirius felt it was his time to.

Still, James was really having a hard time being away from Sirius. He'd look at Lily, and though he loved her completely, a little nagging voice in the back of his head would remind him constantly that not only was she NOT Sirius, she was the reason that Sirius wasn't there to play Atari with or talk. Fearful, James would hug Lily tightly. He wasn't afraid of being alone, but he was afraid that losing Sirius to growing up had set in motion the roots of resentment. He couldn't stand the thought that he might resent Lily. He loved her.

"So, Lily, Maggie will be joining us to pick out your wedding gown," Mrs. Potter continued, hesistating only briefly at the pause between the two before her. She knew well enough to mind her own business when it came to the affairs of her only child.

"Ok," Lily said. Lily watched as the woman stood, and Lily joined her. She looked at James. "Shall I expect you for dinner tonight or will you be off with Sirius?"

"I'll be home for dinner," James said quietly. "Shall I bring Sirius home?"

"Invite him, sure," Lily said. "We both know he won't come."  
"Be that as it may, it is always good to ask," Mrs. Potter interjected as she started out the door. "It's good manners."

Lily nodded and joined Mrs. Potter at the fireplace to floo over to Magi's Mystics, the best magical formal wear shop in London. Maggie, as close personal friend of Mrs. Potter and the owner of Magi's Mystics, was eagerly awaiting the arrival of the two women. The thought that handsome James Potter had decided to marry was enough to send the joyfully plump little witch all a teeter with excitement.

"My little James! You must be one special girl to have pinned that boy down into marriage," Maggie said as she set her tape measures to work, measuring Lily. Lily nodded slightly but didn't speak as the tape measure measured some of the most obscure parts of her body.

"Lily and James have been taken with each other for quite some time," Mrs. Potter said quietly as she watched Lily.

"So, let me see what I have," Maggie said as her tape measure soared over to her outstretched hand. She waved her wand and several puffy sleeved and bow-mangled white dresses sashayed in to the room.

"Lily isn't wearing white," Mrs. Potter said simply. Maggie looked at Lily curiously, the auburn haired girl's cheeks suddenly ablaze with embarrassment.

"Oh, I see," Maggie said nodding. As quickly as the dresses appeared, they were gone. "Perhaps a cream or Ivory?"

"I think Ecru or Egg shell would be better," Mrs. Potter said. Maggie nodded and more hideous puffy sleeved, full skirted, bow-assaulted dresses danced out of the back room as if they were being worn out by invisible dancers. Lily hated them. She simply hated the dresses. She opened her mouth to protest but Mrs. Potter smiled, grateful to be a part of choosing such an important thing in Lily's wedding. Lily closed her mouth. Mrs. Potter was being so nice, paying for everything. Lily just couldn't stand the thought of wearing these monstrosities of beige colored wedding dresses.

While Lily was dressed in the dresses, twirling like a big cream colored cream puff, she frowned slightly, thinking that this wasn't quite what she had expected when she imagined her perfect wedding. She had always pictures a simple white dress, flattering to her figure, with wide straps. She hated puffy sleeves and frilly lace. She hated bows. Still she couldn't complain because if it wasn't for Mrs. Potter, she and James would be getting married in front of a muggle judge down at the courthouse.

"I think, perhaps, we will need to try a few more on," Mrs. Potter said as the next round of non-white dresses entered. Lily dutifully tried each one on without complaint. Secretly, she hated them, yes, but she was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"They are simply lovely," Maggie kept saying as Lily tried a particularly heinous dress on, a large fluffy thing with polyester bows of the same cream color.

"Perhaps a light butter milk?" Mrs. Potter said. "In more of a taffeta or tulle?"

"I have just the thing," Maggie said. Away the second set of hideous dresses went, though not far enough for Lily's liking, and a third set of dresses danced out and spun for Lily to peruse. Lily tried to like the dress that Mrs. Potter was cooing about, but it really wasn't her taste.

"There are just going to be so many people at the wedding," Mrs. Potter chatted with Maggie. "A huge ordeal, for sure. Plenty of people from the Ministry, the Minister himself is attending. Naturally, with James being head boy and Lily as head girl, many of the professors are intending on attending."

"That's fantastic," Maggie said. "So, champagne or butter cream?"

"Which color do you like?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Champagne," Lily said quietly, thinking the color wasn't too bad, even if she hated the lace and bows. Resigned to wearing something she didn't like, she nodded at the dress. She knew that she should be more grateful. After all, Mrs. Potter would become her mother, Mr. Potter would be her father, and James would be her husband.

"So that's the color," Mrs. Potter said nodding. "Have you thought of the color your brides' maids will wear?"

"No, ma'am," Lily said. "But I was thinking maybe I could wear white, since really, I've only been with James, you know?"

"It's your wedding," Mrs. Potter said. "I just thought that white really symbolized too much in the way of pure virginity, and since you and James obviously have been relating."

"I, uh," Lily stuttered.

"I was the same with James' father," Mrs. Potter said. "I wore a baby blue wedding dress on my wedding day."

"I just always imagined that I'd wear white," Lily said honestly. Mrs. Potter nodded.

"There are things in life that sometimes you will have to compromise," Mrs. Potter said. "This is your first rule of marriage. Know when to fight your battles."

"Ok," Lily said. "Champagne colored dress then."

"And I was only kidding about the bows and lace and tulle, dear," Mrs. Potter said grinning. "I'm afraid that James gets his mischievousness from me. I only had you try it for the color. They were hideous, and the look on your face was priceless. I don't think I could have held my tongue."

"I… uh…" Lily said blushing.

"Don't worry, my mother in law did far worse to me when she was planning my nuptials with Mr. Potter," Mrs. Potter said grinning. "She made me believe that I would have to wear a thorn tiara."

"Really?" Lily asked as she followed Mrs. Potter. "The color swatches for the dresses are always done in every fabric available on the same dress just for ease."

"I was really scared. I'm not big into bows, frill, and lace," Lily confessed. Mrs. Potter grinned.

"James told me," Mrs. Potter said laughing. "I could have gathered from your looks of horrification at the dresses that you are more inclined for a simple dress."

"What do you have in mind?" Lily asked. Mrs. Potter glanced around quickly and brought the girl to the back room of the dress shop. On a mannequin, the prefect dress was there, in champagne. It was silky, smooth.

"Oh, uh, wow," Lily murmured as she saw it. "It is perfect."

"And, see? I was right about the color. It would be all wrong in white, purity or not," Mrs. Potter said. "You will have to try it on, surely, but I was assured that it will be a perfect fit."

Lily climbed into bed with James that night, exhausted. She had spent a lot of time running around with Mrs. Potter, choosing the details from linens and flowers, to food. James was awake, laying against his pillow with a magazine. Lily peeled her shirt off, tossing it aside, and slipped out of her pants.

"I ran everywhere under the sun with your mother," Lily moaned as she pulled her hair up in a knot. James watched her wordlessly as she walked around their bedroom in her bra and panties. "I swear, at one point, I was going to throw in the towel. You should have seen these dresses that your mother paraded before me. This is getting so over the top."

"Over the top?" James asked quietly as Lily sat down on the edge of the bed. She unhooked her bra and tossed it on the chair, pulling her night gown on over her head.

"Yes," Lily said turning to James. "I guess I didn't realize that this was going to be so big. I mean your mom has been great, but there just seems to be so many people coming. I kind of thought that it would be just a quiet affair, you know?"

"Well, it's not every day that she gets to plan her only son's wedding, and hopefully this is her last," James said gently.

**C43B:**

James was sitting in the chair by the window, waiting. He knew she was on time, she was always on time, but still he was impatient. He was bored, lonely , and really wanted her to just get home. It had been like this every day since Peter, Remus, and Sirius moved into Lily's old apartment, shortly after Lily and he announced their pending nuptials. Everyone had been excited about them getting married, but the Marauders didn't want to hinder the couple's plans for marriage.

As it was, Lily and James didn't want to wait. They wanted to get married in the spring, as in that spring. They were at odds to the type of wedding. Lily wanted to do it up large, James wanted it to be a little more subdued. Even with Mr. and Mrs. Potter offering to foot the bill, James relented, not wanting to pay so much money for one day. With some talking and lots of discussion, they compromised. James would get the wedding of his dreams, quiet and intimate, and when they returned from their honeymoon, they'd have a huge reception. It was a compromise that they could both live with.

"Hey, James," Lily said tiredly as she walked in the front door. She looked tired as she peeled off her jacket and hung it up in the front closet. James watched her for a minute.

"How was work?" James asked.

"Work," Lily replied. James nodded. It was the same conversation every day. It never changed. They had discussed Lily quitting her jobs, but they hadn't come to any decision yet about what they were going to do. James knew that once she was married, she was more likely to trust her success and prosperity to James, and hopefully they'd become parents soon after. That, they had decided. They didn't want to wait.

"You have time to shower before we head to the meeting, if you want," James said quietly. Lily grinned and nodded, taking the stairs two at a time. Though discouraged for safety reasons, James and Lily had joined the others and became members of the Order of the Phoenix, headed by Albus Dumbledore himself.

Sirius and James hugged each other tightly as they did every time the two were apart and came back together. Lily could tell that they missed each other.

**MUSIC USED WHILE WRITING:**

Cascada: What hurts most, Miracle, Every time we touch

Eve 6: Think Twice

Three Days Grace: Never Too Late

Everything on the Santana CD

Within Temptation: Somewhere, Frozen (the old edit), Angel

Everything on the Live CD

Metallica: The Unforgiven, Nothing Else Matters

Rick Springfield: Jesse's Girl

Bloodhound Gang: Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo

A bunch more on my playlists.

Websites (omg, seriously a wealth of information)

**Thank you all who have read and truly enjoyed this. It has been fun…**


	44. SPIN OFF by Request

**SPIN OFF**

AN: This is a spin off from 'Moving On'… appropriately called 'Spin Off'. It pick up in Africa, shortly after Lily's accident in the Jeep. _It was written at the request of a few readers and it is a one shot._ Please read and review, if you so like. Obviously, it is completely AU.

Disc: I own nothing.

**Spin Off**

Lily had fallen against the gearshift on a sudden stop, Alice having tumbled onto her. Once the group was back at their base camp, Lily had gone straight to bed at James' insistence. Lily didn't mind being bossed around a little by the father of her twin daughters, and she enjoyed his attention. She remained in bed, listening to the others talk just beyond her tent.

_Lily was bored in bed, staring at the ceiling of the tent. She could see the flashing of the fire on the roof of the tent. She was feeling a bit sore from her flying dive into the front seat of the jeep. She stood and suddenly felt dampness on her skirt. Her first fear was that she had lost control of her bladder, something that had been threatening since the girls got big enough to tap dance on her bladder. Lily reached below her stomach and glanced at her hand in shock._

_Blood dripped from between her fingers. In the firelight, the blood looked redder and quite ominous. She felt pain rip across her abdomen, and she doubled over. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to see James looking quite horrified. She assumed that she must have called him, but she didn't recall doing so._

_"I'm going to take her to St. Mungo's," James told the others, struggling to get Lily to her feet. "You come when you're done dealing with the guides."_

James paced the waiting room of St. Mungo's before they allowed him entry into the room where Lily was staying. She was asleep at the moment, a mask drawn over her face. Bags of liquid dripped into her and she was still. The healer, a man in seventies entered with a look of dismay. He looked at James.

"Are you her husband?" The Healer asked quietly not to disturb Lily.

"The babies' father," James said quietly. He looked at her worried. "Is she going to be ok?"

"I don't think so," the Healer said. "She refused to let us take the babies, and that would be her best chance at survival. We've tried to talk to her, but she won't listen. She says that she'd rather die."

"I could try to convince her," James murmured quietly as he took her hand.

"We've given her our complete arsenal of potions to halt her labor, but we fear that it is an inevitable progression. She's going to deliver these babies, and there's no stopping it."

James tried talking to her for three hours, their friends coming in and out, but Lily wouldn't have it. James begged her, crying, afraid that he'd lose her too, but Lily remained unyielding to the suggestion. She wasn't far enough along. She couldn't deliver her daughters knowing that they'd die. She knew if she could make it to thirty weeks, they'd have a fighting chance. She could hold them in for eight or nine weeks. She knew it despite the words of others.

With that, her mind set, she kicked James out of her room. She couldn't explain it, her rationale behind that. She just couldn't take his negativity and fear. She knew she could hold them in a bit more. If she had to lay still for the rest of the pregnancy, she would. If she had to breathe through the mask and never move, she would do it. She knew she could have her cake and eat it too. James knew she was determined, but when Lily crashed twice, nearly dying, he knew he couldn't take it any longer. Scared, he fled to the comfort and safety of his mother's house.

James only left her for those few days, and by the time he was secure and ready to fight for his babies, by the time he headed back to St. Mungo's hospital, Lily was gone. He stood looking at the doctor as the man told James that Lily had left St. Mungo's on her own, against medical advice, and was in danger of bleeding to death. James was scared, for the babies and for Lily. No one seemed to know where Lily had gone, or what had happened to Lily.

For weeks, James searched and scoured the muggle hospitals before learning that no one would tell him anything unless he was certain she was there. James knew Lily had to be at one of the hospitals, but he couldn't find her. He worried, lost and confused. Even Sirius, who had offered him so much comfort, was of no use to him. Alice had only mentioned that she had received word from Lily that she was staying with her sister, Petunia, and her husband, Vernon, for a stretch.

As suddenly as Lily had disappeared, she was back, looking obviously not pregnant, right around the Christmas Holiday. He had been making his rounds, passing in front of the Dursley house when he saw Lily standing outside, laughing with her sister as Vernon climbed a ladder to string some white lights. James continued to drive, the feeling of a heavy weight in the bottom of his stomach. Lily was obviously not pregnant any more, her stomach flat under her parka.

He saw her again, New Years Eve, at the Ministry New Year's Gala. She was standing near the punch bowl, wearing a long black gown. Fear rooted James from asking of the twins from Lily. She looked so happy and beautiful, whatever her horror, she was back. James wasn't about to dig up the past when she had obviously went to great lengths to separate things. She had left to do it alone.

"James," Lily said with a slight smile playing on her lips. James swallowed, uncertain if he should shake her for leaving like she did or embrace her. He swallowed again.

"Hey Lily," James said darkly. "Long time, no see."

"Yeah," Lily said quietly. She glanced over across the room and wave. "We should find some time to talk soon."

"How about the old park on Amberdale?" James asked quickly while he had the nerve. "Say in twenty?"

"S-sure," Lily stammered. She hadn't expected James to be so well put together and she parted from him quickly. She thought that she'd have time. She had only been at the ministry for about a week, eager to get her life on track. She didn't think she'd have run into James in the flesh so quickly.

Lily had her coat wrapped around her as she took a seat on a big boulder next to James. The air was cold, yet there was no snow. It had been disappointing to a good many who had wanted a white Christmas. Snow threatened but none delivered. Lily focused on the ground beneath her feet, her shoes dangling on her toes as her feet slipped from the straps.

"It wasn't that I wasn't going to tell you, James," Lily said as she continued to focus on the ground beneath her feet. "I just never could find the right time. I was so happy to see you after that incident with Lord Voldemort in the parking lot, and then I insisted on going to Africa. When we thought we all but lost the babies and we grew distant, I thought that it was just God's will to be apart."

"But Lily, our daughters. They were ours," James said as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "You could have told me. I would have stayed."

"And had you, you would have hated me," Lily insisted.

"I wouldn't have hated you," James said.

"Why did you disappear, then?" Lily demanded as she wiped away her own tears.

"I was scared," James said. "I was so scared I'd lose you."

"So you just left?" Lily cried. "You left me!"

"I didn't leave you, I just left," James explained. "When I came back, you were gone. Alice told me that you were living with your sister and I came by a few times, but it was obvious that you weren't pregnant anymore."

"I saw you," Lily said quietly. "I had just had the girls three days prior in a muggle hospital."

"Y-you had them?" James asked. "Recently?"

"Almost three weeks ago," Lily said quietly as she let the information flood over James. "I did what you didn't think I could, James. I carried them to near-term and I gave birth to them."

"Where are they? How are they?" James asked suddenly.

"They're at the hospital, still," Lily said quietly. "They're still early, and small, but they are doing fine. They'll go home in a few weeks."

"Our daughters are alive?" James asked.

"The girls are," Lily said quietly. She looked up at him. "I only tell you now because they'll be going home to their parents."

"We're their parents, Lily," James insisted. Lily looked away.

"We're just eighteen, James. What do we know about being parents?" Lily asked. "What can we offer them?"

"We have us and each other," James said.

"Us," Lily said quietly as she wiped away a tear. "The parents I chose are what's best for our girls, Cristina and Hannah. I don't want to raise them in a broken home, James, I just can't do that."

"Lily," James said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"You have to understand, James," Lily cried. "We have to do what is best for them. Amanda and Drake McLaggen will provide them everything that we cannot."

"I don't want strangers raising our children, Lily," James said quietly.

"Please, James," Lily begged. "Support me on this."

"Lily, please," James begged as he held her.

James stood with Lily behind glass, looking into the nursery at the muggle hospital. The girls were tiny and sickly looking to James, despite Lily's insistence that they were healthy. He watched as the mid thirties couple cuddle and held his daughters, and for moment James couldn't help but be torn. On the one hand, the girls were his daughters to raise. He didn't want someone else doing it for him, even if they seemed to genuinely care about them. On the other, secretly, James was terrified. He had never cared for anyone in his life. Lily was set on surrendering custody, and if he did not, it would be him responsible for these two small girls.

"I don't want to be selfish," James whispered to her.

"Me, neither," Lily said as she cried a little.

"Eighteen is too young to be raising kids by ourselves," James told her slowly as realization washed over him. "We're not even married."

"We're not even dating," Lily reminded him. James looked at her and nodded.

"This is for the best?" James asked as he forced tears from his face.

"This is for the best," Lily said with a shaky voice. James nodded and took the pen Lily had been holding, signing his name to the form. Cristina and Hannah were no longer their daughters. They belonged to the McLaggen family now, and one day they would know that all James and Lily ever wanted for them was the best life possible.

"I don't plan on losing you just yet, Ms. Evans," James said quietly as the two walked out of the hospital, hand in hand. "But I'm willing to start slow. How's dinner on Friday and a June wedding?"

"Only you would be able to make me laugh at a time like this," Lily laughed through her tears. She nodded. "Alright, dinner on Friday and I reserve my judgment for a June wedding."

"It's all I ask," James said as he looked at the hospital sign. He made a face. "What made you choose Harry Memorial Hospital?"

"I liked the name," Lily said. "It made me think of the Marauders and their furry little problem, and it made me laugh."

"We should memorialize it," James said. "When you move in with me in March, we should get a dog and name him Harry."

"Now I'm moving in with you?" Lily laughed.

"I told you, I'm not giving up on us, Lily," James said. "It took me how many years to get you to go out with me? If it takes me twice as long, I do plan on making you my wife."

_With that, the snow began to fall…_

The story was not one commonly known outside of Lily and James' close circle of friends. James and Lily both thought often of their daughters who were being raised afar from them, occasionally getting a picture here or there. When James and Lily wedded, there was a moment when the couple stood facing each other at the altar during the vows, Sirius standing as James' best man, when the world seemed to pause and the couple could only think of the twins. They shared that moment together, gazing into each other's eyes, knowing that they had made the right decision. It was a hard decision, one they doubted sometimes, but ultimately, they knew they did the right thing.

One day, their daughters may return and ask them why they were given up, and neither Lily nor James would hesitate to answer that they were given up because both James and Lily loved them so dearly. The girls would have had a wonderful life from the beginning, raised by parents that didn't have growing up to do themselves.

When Lily learned that she was expecting again, it was with trepidation she told James, but she need not have feared. He had grown and matured, continuing to do so until his son's birth July 31. As the couple looked down at their son, who looked like a minute James with his tuff of jet black hair, a smile crossed James' face.

"I have the perfect name for him Lily," James said quietly as they gazed at their perfect sleeping son. "Now don't say no until you hear it."

"Please not James the Second," Lily laughed as she snuggled him closer.

"No," James said shaking his head. "Let that be our future grandson's name. I was thinking a little closer to home. How about Harry?"

"Harry?" Lily asked quizzically. "Really?"

"Well, we never got the dog to name it," James reminded her lightly. Lily looked at her son.

"Welcome to the world Harry James Potter. As long as I live, I will never let sadness I have known touch you," Lily murmured as she kissed his tiny forehead.


End file.
